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Back from Disney with unrelated article!

As mentioned in the last thread, I spent the past week in Disney World, and we had an excellent time. Sentimentality surely a power to be reckoned with, I'd probably give the Magic Kingdom the nod for bestest out of the four Disney parks. Gets trickier from there. As Disney at large is mostly dry, Epcot might have to nab the #2 slot if only because it's an absolute blast-to-get-blasted in the World Showcase and roam from Japan to Mexico and need to piss at both countries. Going to give MGM the #3 spot, because it's small but with a high concentration of great rides and attractions, and probably the best overall vibe at nighttime. Very surprisingly, Animal Kingdom ranks last. Doesn't mean I didn't like it, just that it ranks last. It's a lot of work to have fun in Disney, but it seemed to take the most work at Animal Kingdom.

Also, I mentioned that we were going to stay at two hotels. We started at the Polynesian, which immediately became one of my favorite hotels ever. Wonderfully dated but meticulously cared for, the hotel is practically a relic and its bars sold "Wasabi Mary" cocktails that made me giddy. We ended at the Grand Floridian, which is ridiculously expensive and in retrospect a waste of money, as I hated the hotel and kept thinking I was going to spot two little twin girls chopped up as I grudgingly traded in my Polynesian paradise for strolls down mock Victorian halls that made me feel all embarrassed to think it was up my alley. I mean, I'd just left a group of folks who managed to start every conversation with "ALOHA!" without ever once seeming not into it, and then here was the big fancy place, filled with snotnose goaty people. But that's an overall minor gripe: Disney f'n rocked.

I took a zillion pictures. I mean it, a zillion. And I've spent some of today looking them over, trying to figure how to assemble the best moments into an article. Think it's going to have to be some kind of "Top Things" list, because if I try to go from Minute One To Minute Infinity, you won't be reading about it until the park closes in 2078.

While I figure that out, here's a shorter article that I started before the trip. Another batch of commercials, but really special ones that advertised specific products, with either the products featured or the way the products were featured being too absurd and fascinating to keep to myself. Read about it here, and download the commercials while you're there.

I'm cracking my knuckles like a real man. I think I need another week off, this time just to atrophy.

Posted by Matt on 05/28/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 155 comments

Not an X-Men fan, probably won’t see it or only as a rental if I get REALLY bored. I’m still waiting for "Superman Returns." I’m not really a big comic book fan to begin with, but I’ve always had a thing for Superman.

I have vague memories of the watch commerical; it used to run on cable and the local independant channels a lot, especially during the afternoons. Though I don’t remember the coins, I DO recall the big to-do over the re-do of Lady Liberty in 1986. God, that was HUGE. It was three-fourths of what you heard about in the news that year; we even followed it in school.

Glad to hear you had a good time at Disney, Matt. I know I had fun the two times I was there, but that was a long time ago. Given the amount of money I have at the moment, I probably couldn’t afford a drink at a water fountain at the All-Star Resorts, much less to go to the parks, buy souveniers and food, and stay within a 100 miles of the parks.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 05/30/2006 12:22 PM


I could be wrong, but weren’t Julia Louis-Dreyfus and her boyfriend Todd wearing slim jeans outfits in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?

Chestnuts roasted by TIM @ 05/30/2006 1:04 AM


Also, we never get to know Colossus or Kitty before they suddenly join the team. It took Iceman and Rogue 2 movies to be ‘official’ Xmen.

I don’t know how so many people overlook or forget Kitty’s appearances in the first two films. She was mentioned and shown in the first (running through a door in the beginning, and a lot younger). In the second she woke up right before the raid of Xavier Institute, fell through her bed and ran for her life (this was shown in many preview ads). Kitty has BEEN there. She’s just never been used.

Kitty is always entertaining and it was great to see her finally get a major part. And Grammer IS Beast. Even without the blue makeup. But booooy, did Cyclops get shafted.

Someone explain why "I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!" is supposed to be so clever.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 05/30/2006 2:36 AM


Glad you had a good trip, Matt! Your top #4 list is pretty accurate, although it’s hard to not give the nod to Epcot, with the World Showcase being so rad, and that bizaare Ellen’s Energy Adventure with dinosaur cameos. Some reason I really liked the retro stuff, like The World of Tomorrow in Futureland at Magic Kingdom, etc. I took hundreds of pictures, too — thus far I’ve only reviewed MGM Studios on my site, but will eventually put up full reviews on the other three parks. I think I creamed jeans on Space Mountain. Later!

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 05/30/2006 2:55 AM


While Matt was having one of the best weeks of his life, I was having one of my worst. I had a really bad stomach flu, I slept most of the time, and until wednesday night (got it on sunday) I couldn’t eat anything. I survived on nutritional drinks and water. Even when I was to that stage everything still hurt, my back hurt (not because of the flu, but it still really sucked) and my stomach hurt. Being sick makes you appreciate life more, and I tried to tell myself that the whole week. I had a family thing yesterday, I got there kinda late because I was doing laundry and I thought it was a thing later but I was there for a few hours but it wasn’t as cool as a normal family thing because they kinda treated me shitty (I got my ass chewed about my living arrangement with my sister, I am living WITH her so they feel I am taking advantage augh they just don’t see the whole picture) and so I work really hard to get over a stomach flu to be treated like crap. Oh what fun.

I love that spacey slimming outfit though!! That overweight girl looking at the hot chicks looks mentally retarded. I would be afraid of my 20 dollar outfit getting snagged on something and everything going to shit. There probably isn’t elastic, just a rubber band.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 05/30/2006 3:15 AM


Okay, google "Juggernaut Bitch" and check out the video it inevitably leads you to. It is funny beyond reason. That is why its so clever.

"Are you an ASS? You cannot harm me! Comb yo’ beard. She’s messin’ with my helmet, OH NO, I got that sh** in 4th grade!"

Here’s my, as usual, idiotic 2 cents:

Collossus got shafted. I’m glad Kitty got her day in the sun. Rogue is shallow, Iceman said what they had was enough and she still wanted the "cure". Pyro/Iceman should have been longer, but with the same end result, even though I love Pyro. Cyclops + Jean both dead = I love Ratner!

"No" Jubes and no bone claws = as a fanboy I hate the entire movie franchise. But as a set of movies without my fanboy powers activated, I love the hell outta ‘em.

Thank you Ratner for not sucking it up. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 05/30/2006 5:26 AM


IHAQ: That’s really not a spoiler, just my personal opinion. X3 just broke a lot of records, I really doubt they’ll let all those dead/de-powered mutants rest for long.

Mars: The Juggernaut Bitch, in all its glory. Like it was said already, it’s hilarious just for no particular reason. You know how you see two people laughing a lot and you just can’t help but start laughing as well? Kinda the same thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=juggernaut&v=ozs-pLzEwGA

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 05/30/2006 7:42 AM


Caught X-3 last night, heartily enjoyed it. I had a passing acquaitence with the comics, but *LOVED* the 90s cartoon (still have some of the Pizza Hut promo tapes at my folks’ house. Gotta dig ‘em out.) Anyway, as I said, heartily enjoyed it. Though I had a couple of problems with it, over and above my no Gambit, no Nightcrawler rant …

****SPOILERS****SPOILERS****

1. Apparently when you’re psychic abilities cocoon you and allow you to live on the bottom of a lake that’s supposed to have crushed, the consolation prize is incredible hair extensions.

2. Rogue is a pussy. Getting the cure was a complete and total cop-out. Good thing it’s not permanent, else I’d be really pissed.

3. NOT ENOUGH SENTINALS! (Can there ever be enough Sentinals?)

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 05/30/2006 9:37 AM


Great stuff. Have you seen the commercial with the tube you put on your exhaust to unfreeze your frozen door lock? But how do you get in the car to start it up to make the exhaust to unfreeze the lock? It’s a classic.

Chestnuts roasted by Reid @ 05/30/2006 10:38 AM


The exhaust door lock thing reminds me, does anyone remember the ad for the air bag that you hooked up to your exhaust to jack up your car, instead of using a regular jack?

Even at the tender age of 10 I wondered how in the hell your exhaust pipe would produce enough pressure to lift up a car.

Man, I miss early infomercials!!

Chestnuts roasted by Yet Another matt @ 05/30/2006 12:09 PM


Mars- Yes, you’re right- Kitty was always there, but just not developed…so I wish we had gotten to know her a bit before she was suddenly on the team. Same for Colossus- and what about the Colossus/Kitty romance?? That would have been better- and bring GAMBIT in for the inevitable love triangle with Rogue and Iceman.

I feel bad for Cyclops in these films…my boyfriend just CAN’T understand why Cyclops was ever the leader…or even a major character for that matter. And judging from the films, I understand his confusion. At first, in X3 when he was all bad ass with grief, I thought we’d see a good Wolverine/Cyclops feud, but alas, Cyclops was shafted again.

Also, why didn’t they just have Angel suit up and join them too? After all, they were attacking a place important to him, and we know as much about him as we do about Colossus- hell, we know Warren better, actually!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 05/30/2006 12:36 PM


I worked yesterday so I could get today off to deal with my car, and I decided to take a break and come here. Insurance companies and lawyers suck big floppy donkey dick.

From the way it sounds, I should have stayed for the credits. I wondered why so many people were hanging out after the movie was over. You don’t usually care who was a grip, best boy, or gaffer on any movie, especially a mindless comic book movie.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 05/30/2006 12:37 PM


If they’re setting it up for a sequel, they did a stupid thing killing off Cyclops. Storm as the leader? And like Halle Berry’s going to do any more of these movies.

Storm was so stupid (in the trilogy). I know she ended up with a producing credit on this one, but come on. Every time they needed weather, she couldn’t think to do it herself. It was like they were little kids playing: "Storm! We need some cover!" "Don’t worry guys, I’ll stop the bad men with my powers." And then Halle Berry was like "Focus on me for ten minutes while my eyeballs change color."
Like on that episode of South Park where they’re all ninjas. "I have invincibility too, but better than Kyle."

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 05/30/2006 12:46 PM


Oh yeah, forgot the two other things that got me …

Did anyone notice that there was like absolutely no concern for Cyclops when they got to Alakli Lake. I mean, Wolverine finds the guys special glasses levatating but yet no one seems to be upset that there are no random red laser blasts going off. They don’t even mention him until the Jean wakes up. WTF? Had Scott become such a pain in the ass in his mourning that no one cared he was dead?

Oh, and when Magneto bends the bridge … who here *DIDN’T* turn to the person next to them and say all sotto voice " … and suddenly night fell …"?

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 05/30/2006 1:01 PM


My Xmen3 two-cents:

the xmen movie was pretty awful, im not sure how you can be a fan of the xmen and still appreciate X3.
The script was awful, the characters were all extremely dense and two-dimensional. magneto was reduced to nothing more then a "bad guy".
Angel was thrown away and wasted.
Not to mention every other character except for Storm and Wolvie.-
The soundtrack score to the film was very distracting and completely ruined the golden gate bridge sequence for me.
I really just wish the ones responsible would have treated the story and characters with respect instead of this mish-mosh hodgepodge of disappointment.
SPOILERS
the ending made no sense, Wolvie didn’t have to kill jean gray, he could have just used the cure on her.

Chestnuts roasted by Joker @ 05/30/2006 1:23 PM


"Wolvie didn’t have to kill jean gray, he could have just used the cure on her"
Robert Smith!
Robert Smith!
Chef: Do you have to do that!?

(I have it on good authority that "Disintergration" is a pretty good album.)

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/30/2006 1:40 PM


LemurCat-
"Oh, and when Magneto bends the bridge … who here *DIDN’T* turn to the person next to them and say all sotto voice " … and suddenly night fell …"? "

I guess I’m going to show my sad lack of culture. What is that in reference to?

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 05/30/2006 1:52 PM


the ending made no sense, Wolvie didn’t have to kill jean gray, he could have just used the cure on her.

Wrong. Anything that got near Jean disintegrated, and that would include the shots. Only Wolvie could approach her because of his fast healing power. And of course adamantium is the strongest make-believe metal in the world, so she couldn’t do anything to his claws.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 05/30/2006 2:22 PM


LOL, thanks for the death spoiler. Guess I have an excuse not to go see it now. :P
Actually, kingklash, Disintegration is the BEST album EVER. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/30/2006 2:38 PM


Couldn’t they have used Leech to temporarilly take away her powers though?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 05/30/2006 2:47 PM


Spaz — "I guess I’m going to show my sad lack of culture. What is that in reference to?"

Just about every bad horror story ever written.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 05/30/2006 2:54 PM


In know commercials here are mostly geared towards kid’s items, but those were stupendous. If you have more like those please don’t keep them from us. I read first and watched after, and you are correct about the fat-pants ad. It’s amazing that people could have fallen for that, not so long ago. (and probably some still wold) The part with Bertha glancing at the skinny girls is priceless.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 05/30/2006 2:59 PM


Goddamn it, I’ve read about three characters that die without ANY spoiler space. WHYYYYYY?

My Y key got stuck.

I love infomercials. I put them on when I go to sleep every night. I remember one from the mid ’90′s that was like a big dehydrater, and they made Fruit Roll Ups in it. Man, I wanted one of those.

I want Space Pants more though.

Chestnuts roasted by Spoodles @ 05/30/2006 3:16 PM


Ahh Slim Jeans… am I the only one here who’s familiar with the movie "Vision Quest", Matthew Modine as Louden Swain running around in the full silver suit, trying to make weight for the big wrestling tournament?

*Sigh*

I still heart Matthew Modine.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 05/30/2006 3:47 PM


ONLY BUCKY STAYS DEAD!!!

All others that die in the Marvel U will suffer from "Grey’s Disease" which is defined as: the inabilty to stay dead for any reasonable length of time, used interchangeably as a hackneyed plot device or Deus Ex Machina. Named after Jean Grey, aka Marvel Girl, aka Phoenix, aka Dark Phoenix, aka Marvel Girl, aka Phoenix, aka What The Hell’s Wrong With You Woman.

What with all the reality-warping crap going on, why don’t they just integrate the Ultraverse into the main continuity? Now that would be a chaotic event!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/30/2006 4:24 PM


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