X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

05/28/2006: Back from Disney with unrelated article!

As mentioned in the last thread, I spent the past week in Disney World, and we had an excellent time. Sentimentality surely a power to be reckoned with, I’d probably give the Magic Kingdom the nod for bestest out of the four Disney parks. Gets trickier from there. As Disney at large is mostly dry, Epcot might have to nab the #2 slot if only because it’s an absolute blast-to-get-blasted in the World Showcase and roam from Japan to Mexico and need to piss at both countries. Going to give MGM the #3 spot, because it’s small but with a high concentration of great rides and attractions, and probably the best overall vibe at nighttime. Very surprisingly, Animal Kingdom ranks last. Doesn’t mean I didn’t like it, just that it ranks last. It’s a lot of work to have fun in Disney, but it seemed to take the most work at Animal Kingdom.

Also, I mentioned that we were going to stay at two hotels. We started at the Polynesian, which immediately became one of my favorite hotels ever. Wonderfully dated but meticulously cared for, the hotel is practically a relic and its bars sold “Wasabi Mary” cocktails that made me giddy. We ended at the Grand Floridian, which is ridiculously expensive and in retrospect a waste of money, as I hated the hotel and kept thinking I was going to spot two little twin girls chopped up as I grudgingly traded in my Polynesian paradise for strolls down mock Victorian halls that made me feel all embarrassed to think it was up my alley. I mean, I’d just left a group of folks who managed to start every conversation with “ALOHA!” without ever once seeming not into it, and then here was the big fancy place, filled with snotnose goaty people. But that’s an overall minor gripe: Disney f’n rocked.

I took a zillion pictures. I mean it, a zillion. And I’ve spent some of today looking them over, trying to figure how to assemble the best moments into an article. Think it’s going to have to be some kind of “Top Things” list, because if I try to go from Minute One To Minute Infinity, you won’t be reading about it until the park closes in 2078.

While I figure that out, here’s a shorter article that I started before the trip. Another batch of commercials, but really special ones that advertised specific products, with either the products featured or the way the products were featured being too absurd and fascinating to keep to myself. Read about it here, and download the commercials while you’re there.

I’m cracking my knuckles like a real man. I think I need another week off, this time just to atrophy.

Disney is pure evil. Hate the man, company, and theme park. Stay away from Disney.

are flying cars really what we are all looking forward to? (besides the cheers reunion show where Sam finally, really this time, for sure, decides on Diane).

Man, that was wonderful stuff, I’m digging the slim jeans I think I could pull that look off, plus I would loose some weight! What a friggin deal!

You know that anim-gif in the pants portion that has the woman wiggle her legs? It only works for a few seconds and then shuts off. You accidentally set a time limit on the pic instead of setting it to "infinite."

Somebody needs to do it…so I guess I will: Who here saw X-men 3 this weekend…what did ya think!? It’s a dumbed down version of X-men compared to the other two but never the less entertaining and fun…frustrating but fun. Lots more action and effects…very cartoony and comic bookish. If you go into the movie expecting it to stay true to the comics though…you will be disappointed but if you go in there and take it for what it is (mindless summer blockbuster) you won’t be disappointed…and they say this is the final film in the series, hardly, this movie made a dump load this weekend. Expect sequels and spin-offs galore and lets hope they bring Singer back too, any thoughts?

This reminds me of another commercial, one which aired about every five minutes on Nickelodeon in the mid-80’s, for a product called "The Amazing Laser Beam Wristwatch!!" I didn’t see the point of a watch with intermittently-disappearing hands, but I figured the Voiceover Guy must have been so excited about it for a reason.

Welcome back, Matt! Congrats on an excellent Disney trip…. can’t wait to see an article.

Thanks for tonights article. The Liberty Coins cracked me up. I definitely had those as a kid. I’m not sure why. Probably because they were shinny and encased in plastic. I’m sure at 8 years old I thought those features made any coin as important as Scrooge McDuck’s Number One Dime.

I rolled my car this weekend. I fell asleep at the wheel, and when I woke up, I freaked and over-corrected. It was on a reasonably deserted two lane road in the middle of nowhere Idaho, out in the middle of the desert. I was drifting off the right side of the road, and instead of slowly bringing it back under control, I jerked the wheel to the left and slammed on the brakes. I started to skid & spin of course. I distinctly remember saying "This is not happening" as I slid down the highway backwards in the wrong lane. I stupidly did not steer into the skid (I’d just woken up from a nice nap, remember). The car tipped, I said "Oh God" and then I rolled off the left side of the road.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been upside down in a car, but damn if it isn’t disorienting. I had a very scary moment when I realized my driver’s side door was too crushed to open. I hadn’t seen that the passenger door was relatively undamaged yet. I thought I could smell something burning. Turns out it was just the burnt rubber from my tires. *WHEW* I managed to get the passenger door unlocked and was just working on pushing it open when a passing motorist stopped and dragged me out of my car. Lucky me, his wife was an EMT.

Amazingly, THREE EMTs happened to be driving by in different cars on a road that is normally very lightly travelled. At that time of the day, you can only expect to see two or three cars every ten minutes or so. They held my neck and checked me over, and called an ambulance.

The ambulance guys strapped me to a backboard and gave me the most agonizing 45 minute ride of my entire life. We were way far from town and the hospital, and I spent the whole trip wondering if I was going to be okay. I felt fine, but the paramedic kept telling me I might have all sorts of awful maladies, and that I had better be checked out by a doctor. Plus, those back boards are REALLY uncomfortable. I really think it’s a torture device in disguise.

The doctor checked me over, said I was fine, and gave me tetanus shot. After all the fuss that was made over me, I was pretty relieved. All I had was a sore shoulder (where the seatbelt caught me) and a few cuts on my hands (from glass).

I only had that car five months. It was the first new car I ever owned, and now I doubt I’ll be able to afford the insurance on another new vehicle. I guess I’d be more sad about that if I wasn’t so jazzed to be alive and relatively unhurt.

Also, I saw X-Men later that night. It almost has to be the last one. *SPOILER ALERT* I’ll try not to give too much away, but those who wish to remain spoiler free should stop reading and go see the movie already!

Too many people died or lost their powers for an effective sequel. I can’t believe some of the early deaths in this movie, so far from the climax. I really expected the victims of what I call "The Phoenix Discombobulation Ray" to get restored by a guy whose mutant name was "Recombobulator" or a variant thereof. Also, didn’t anyone else think Magneto’s use of the Golden Gate Bridge was a little over the top? Wouldn’t some sheet metal have sufficed? And for some reason, everyone seemed to forget that not all metals are affected by magnetic fields. I saw a lot of stuff looked like it was made of stainless steel get hurled around.

I put a bunch of extra returns to create a spoiler space, and somehow they got removed. Sorry to anyone who inadvertently got spoiled!

Don’t worry spaz, I read everything down to up. I might’ve mentioned that before.

Sorry to hear that, spaz. Glad you’re okay. Based on my first and secondhand experience I’d say you may be in for some killer neck and back soreness in the next few days (it doesn’t hit right away, don’t be afraid to go back to the doc).
I still remember my elementary teacher tried to stress the importance of learning to tell time because digital watches were a fad and were not going to be around much longer (this was around ‘91 or so). Do kids even wear watches anymore, or do they just use their new fangled pagers and phones and iPods and assorted whatnots to know what time it is?

oh wow "master charge". neat. that commercial just reminded me of how it needs to be halloween season now. im dangeroulsy low on cans of jones caramel apple.

Kevin — "frustrating but fun" I couldn’t agree more! Having been annoyed by all the little stupid stuff (I’m the Juggernaut, bitch! - seriously? I coulda sworn the Juggernaut had powers… and yes, I’ve seen the clip) but still able to reccomend the movie, I couldn’t agree more.

Spaz — Archangel is the much superior character with metal wings and weird blue body paint mixed with metal (heh look him up if you can’t picture what I’m talking about) who is what Angel became after Apocalypse was done with him. Thank God he was practically pointless, like far too many of the characters in the movie. Oh and there was a recombobulator, or did you not see the part after the credits?

Why were both story lines made pointless by Magneto getting his powers back AND Xavier coming back to life through someone else’s body. So both the cure AND the "amazing" power of the Phoenix were BOTH Maguffins? That’s gotta be a first… And this movie completely proved my theory that Cyclops is the least important character in the movies.

Slim jeans? Holy shit Matt, when did that air? That really is something amazing. 80% funny, 10% exploitive, and 10% scary that there are adult Americans which would fall for something so over-the-top SNL-level ridiculous.

Speaking of bizarre ads, you have a copy of that mid-80s "Santo Gold" ad? I’d love a review of that.

spaz: Way to be alive. Here’s hoping you’re not too long between cars. And naps.

matt: You actually went drinking at Epcot-Mexico? Hope you didn’t get ice in any of your drinks. Everyone knows that Walt Disney’s obsessive attention to detail prompted him to engineer a special Disney version of amoebic dystentery, which is added to all the water in the Mexico section. Kuzco’s Revenge, man. Bad business.

Everyone: O how quickly allegiances shift! According to iMockery, 7-11 is in the Superman Slurpee market. Didn’t they just start an X3 promotion like two weeks ago?

I look forward to reading everybody’s X3 posts next week, after I catch the flick. For those who haven’t seen it (or plan on returning): there’s something at the end of the credits that’s supposed to be important.

I love the way the lady who sleeps in the Slim Jeans tellingly rips the covers off like they’re made of fire. I can’t even wear socks to bed, I can only imagine how uncomfortable it would be trying to sleep in a suit that is DESIGNED to make you sweat profusely (under a blanket and sheet no less.)

All in all, this is actually one of my favorite commercial articles. I loved it.

Matt, glad you enjoyed WDW. I’m a Disney nut, was an International Cast Member in December-February 2000, and haven’t been there since, so withdrawals are hitting hard.

X3 was mucho fun-o. Nice Fastball Special, Frasier did good as Mama McCoy’s Bouncing Baby Boy (with stars and garters) and had to laugh out loud at the "Juggernaut Bitch" nod. Difenitely the first of the top three. And it was pretty obvious the Cure wouldn’t last.

Point of fact: there was a transforming calculator watch. Never saw it up close, but, the ads it was in kept it in the background, probably because it looked like crap in robot mode.

It’s really hard to make a good comic book movie when the characters are so integrated into their universes. The films end up being written as if their particular villains and heroes are the only ones in the world. With so many optioned heroes vying for film time, we’ll never see a "Acts of Vengance" or "Secret Wars" blockbuster film. Or a scene where Superman gives Batman that hunk of Kryptonite, "just in case."

And here, I thought all hope was lost for my totally shitty sunday. Thanks for juuust making my day Matt!

They had some incredibly crazy inventions on American Inventor, but nothing in the same league as those ridonkulous pants. Cripes, who would wear those? Are there any verified public sightings?
So glad you had a good time at Disney, even with the Floridean disappointments. I’ve been atrophy-ing all weekend and would feel guilty if it weren’t for all my pipe dreaming about getting tons of stuff accomplished tomorrow.

Also, to bear some sad news to comic & animation fans, Alex Toth died on Saturday in the most fitting location, at his drawing table.

That wasn’t the only sad passing I’m afraid, Norbert. Paul Gleason aka Principal Richard Vernon from The Breakfast Club died too. Never will an evil principal measure up to his immortal standards. Interesting fact: We share the same birthday. RIP Paul.

HBO has got both Clue and Addams Family on this morning, tough decision.
My mom offered a trip to Disneyland as a gift for my upcoming birthday, but in actuality she wants to take some younglings and needs another chaperone. Still tempting, I guess…Vons is selling one day Park Hopper tickets but it seems like one day isn’t enough for both parks, especially with kids. Anyone have any advice?

How about the ol’ "Drive ‘em to an abandoned warehouse and say Disneyland burned down" method?

Roddy: I am going to kill you! I read that last sentence. I would consider that a spoiler

King — I admit, I’ve read 100 Marvel Comics for every DC Comic I’ve read, but I have read Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns many times. I was always under the impression that Batman’s "strategic Kryptonite reserve" was something he discovered himself, through his mad detective skillz and whatnot. Do you mean to tell me The Big Boyscout handed Ol’ Pointy Ears a hunk of green death to stop him if necessary?

In current mainstream DC, it was Luthor’s Kryptonite ring Clark gave Bruce. Because he trusts Pointy-ears to "Do what’s necessary to stop him." I haven’t really read anything recently, but I try to keep up with any overarching developments with some of my favorite two-dimensional soap operas.

The funniest part on the Slim Jeans commercials is that the jeans are supposed to make you lose weight, yet the people in the commercial are mostly shown exercizing.

Doesn’t surprise me that the Liberty Coins were popular. Look at what’s going on with the state quarters madness. Even I’m collecting them. Could you spend those coins?

I also liked X3. Basically, the same problems in the first two movies exist here also, but I didn’t mind. I think an X-movie focussing on the students (Collosus, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, Angel, Leech, Jubillee, and maybe Beast as a teacher would be fun).

anyone remember the 80’s ghost movie, the lady in white, it was on flix earlier.did matt ever do a review of it?

Ahh right, that sounds familiar. Don’t think I ever read the issue where that happened, though. Do you remember what storyline it was a part of?

Also, I really need to get the Infinite Crisis trade when it comes out (if it isn’t out already). I hear lots of good things!

Yowza! Master CHARGE??!! I haven’t seen that name in at least 25 years. That "slimming" pants commercial reminds me of all the crappy commercials that used to air on late night TV (in between 3 Stooges shorts). While there are still similar items (sauna belt) being advertised today, there was just something about the era and the fact that there were more people in that era who were willing to buy that crap and dance around on their ugly shag carpet to exercise.

But did you notice that the Twin Towers are eerily absent from that city scape view of Manhatten in 2050?

I dunno, but someone just pointed out to me that there’s no Empire State Building either. I hope this isn’t a sign.

That Kronoform watch article is one of my favourite X-E pieces, in fact just saying cosmic tank or solar creature will still make me laugh without fail.

I agree with what everyone is saying about X3- FUN, but frustrating as hell. A few times I said outloud, "WHAT?!" at what they were doing to my beloved characters. I can only hope that they make a 4th one to fix some of the things they did, and to give an actual STORY to other characters. Where is the real Rogue, for example? Also, we never get to know Colossus or Kitty before they suddenly join the team. It took Iceman and Rogue 2 movies to be ‘official’ Xmen. They tried to do a LOT and barely covered everything with ebough detail.

Still, despite the gripe, I friggin love seeing the XMen on the big screen- this one was very "comic-booky" and that was fun. Also, there were quite a few nods to the fans as well.

I’ve never seen the leather place commercial, but the other 3 I remember. Ah I see from the screen capture showing the leather store’s locations that I recognize none of those places, guess its a regional place no where near me.

Spaz-wow close call. as far as wrecking goes I prefer to be asleep when it starts. I keep more calm that way. Luckly its only happened once, you tend to learn your lesson, and I drove into a fence, also on a less travled road in Idaho. Although probably more travled then yours.

And my 2 cents on X-Men 3, since I also saw it today: I liked it. Certainly there are things I had a problem with, even though X-Men is one of the comics I only had a passing familiarity with as a youngster, but on the whole I thought it was a solid comic-genre flick.
I gotta say though, am I the only one who was thinking that the X-Men seemed to be on the wrong side of this issue? Once its weaponized, its no longer a choice, the X-Men even deliberately use it against a fellow mutant themselves. I found myself morally on the Brotherhood’s side lol

I could be wrong, but weren’t Julia Louis-Dreyfus and her boyfriend Todd wearing slim jeans outfits in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?

Also, we never get to know Colossus or Kitty before they suddenly join the team. It took Iceman and Rogue 2 movies to be ‘official’ Xmen.

I don’t know how so many people overlook or forget Kitty’s appearances in the first two films. She was mentioned and shown in the first (running through a door in the beginning, and a lot younger). In the second she woke up right before the raid of Xavier Institute, fell through her bed and ran for her life (this was shown in many preview ads). Kitty has BEEN there. She’s just never been used.

Kitty is always entertaining and it was great to see her finally get a major part. And Grammer IS Beast. Even without the blue makeup. But booooy, did Cyclops get shafted.

Glad you had a good trip, Matt! Your top #4 list is pretty accurate, although it’s hard to not give the nod to Epcot, with the World Showcase being so rad, and that bizaare Ellen’s Energy Adventure with dinosaur cameos. Some reason I really liked the retro stuff, like The World of Tomorrow in Futureland at Magic Kingdom, etc. I took hundreds of pictures, too — thus far I’ve only reviewed MGM Studios on my site, but will eventually put up full reviews on the other three parks. I think I creamed jeans on Space Mountain. Later!

While Matt was having one of the best weeks of his life, I was having one of my worst. I had a really bad stomach flu, I slept most of the time, and until wednesday night (got it on sunday) I couldn’t eat anything. I survived on nutritional drinks and water. Even when I was to that stage everything still hurt, my back hurt (not because of the flu, but it still really sucked) and my stomach hurt. Being sick makes you appreciate life more, and I tried to tell myself that the whole week. I had a family thing yesterday, I got there kinda late because I was doing laundry and I thought it was a thing later but I was there for a few hours but it wasn’t as cool as a normal family thing because they kinda treated me shitty (I got my ass chewed about my living arrangement with my sister, I am living WITH her so they feel I am taking advantage augh they just don’t see the whole picture) and so I work really hard to get over a stomach flu to be treated like crap. Oh what fun.

I love that spacey slimming outfit though!! That overweight girl looking at the hot chicks looks mentally retarded. I would be afraid of my 20 dollar outfit getting snagged on something and everything going to shit. There probably isn’t elastic, just a rubber band.

Okay, google "Juggernaut Bitch" and check out the video it inevitably leads you to. It is funny beyond reason. That is why its so clever.

"Are you an ASS? You cannot harm me! Comb yo’ beard. She’s messin’ with my helmet, OH NO, I got that sh** in 4th grade!"

Collossus got shafted. I’m glad Kitty got her day in the sun. Rogue is shallow, Iceman said what they had was enough and she still wanted the "cure". Pyro/Iceman should have been longer, but with the same end result, even though I love Pyro. Cyclops + Jean both dead = I love Ratner!

"No" Jubes and no bone claws = as a fanboy I hate the entire movie franchise. But as a set of movies without my fanboy powers activated, I love the hell outta ‘em.

IHAQ: That’s really not a spoiler, just my personal opinion. X3 just broke a lot of records, I really doubt they’ll let all those dead/de-powered mutants rest for long.

Mars: The Juggernaut Bitch, in all its glory. Like it was said already, it’s hilarious just for no particular reason. You know how you see two people laughing a lot and you just can’t help but start laughing as well? Kinda the same thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?s...=juggernaut&v=ozs-pLzEwGA

Caught X-3 last night, heartily enjoyed it. I had a passing acquaitence with the comics, but *LOVED* the 90s cartoon (still have some of the Pizza Hut promo tapes at my folks’ house. Gotta dig ‘em out.) Anyway, as I said, heartily enjoyed it. Though I had a couple of problems with it, over and above my no Gambit, no Nightcrawler rant …

1. Apparently when you’re psychic abilities cocoon you and allow you to live on the bottom of a lake that’s supposed to have crushed, the consolation prize is incredible hair extensions.

2. Rogue is a pussy. Getting the cure was a complete and total cop-out. Good thing it’s not permanent, else I’d be really pissed.

Great stuff. Have you seen the commercial with the tube you put on your exhaust to unfreeze your frozen door lock? But how do you get in the car to start it up to make the exhaust to unfreeze the lock? It’s a classic.

The exhaust door lock thing reminds me, does anyone remember the ad for the air bag that you hooked up to your exhaust to jack up your car, instead of using a regular jack?

Even at the tender age of 10 I wondered how in the hell your exhaust pipe would produce enough pressure to lift up a car.

Not an X-Men fan, probably won’t see it or only as a rental if I get REALLY bored. I’m still waiting for "Superman Returns." I’m not really a big comic book fan to begin with, but I’ve always had a thing for Superman.

I have vague memories of the watch commerical; it used to run on cable and the local independant channels a lot, especially during the afternoons. Though I don’t remember the coins, I DO recall the big to-do over the re-do of Lady Liberty in 1986. God, that was HUGE. It was three-fourths of what you heard about in the news that year; we even followed it in school.

Glad to hear you had a good time at Disney, Matt. I know I had fun the two times I was there, but that was a long time ago. Given the amount of money I have at the moment, I probably couldn’t afford a drink at a water fountain at the All-Star Resorts, much less to go to the parks, buy souveniers and food, and stay within a 100 miles of the parks.

Mars- Yes, you’re right- Kitty was always there, but just not developed…so I wish we had gotten to know her a bit before she was suddenly on the team. Same for Colossus- and what about the Colossus/Kitty romance?? That would have been better- and bring GAMBIT in for the inevitable love triangle with Rogue and Iceman.

I feel bad for Cyclops in these films…my boyfriend just CAN’T understand why Cyclops was ever the leader…or even a major character for that matter. And judging from the films, I understand his confusion. At first, in X3 when he was all bad ass with grief, I thought we’d see a good Wolverine/Cyclops feud, but alas, Cyclops was shafted again.

Also, why didn’t they just have Angel suit up and join them too? After all, they were attacking a place important to him, and we know as much about him as we do about Colossus- hell, we know Warren better, actually!

I worked yesterday so I could get today off to deal with my car, and I decided to take a break and come here. Insurance companies and lawyers suck big floppy donkey dick.

From the way it sounds, I should have stayed for the credits. I wondered why so many people were hanging out after the movie was over. You don’t usually care who was a grip, best boy, or gaffer on any movie, especially a mindless comic book movie.

If they’re setting it up for a sequel, they did a stupid thing killing off Cyclops. Storm as the leader? And like Halle Berry’s going to do any more of these movies.

Storm was so stupid (in the trilogy). I know she ended up with a producing credit on this one, but come on. Every time they needed weather, she couldn’t think to do it herself. It was like they were little kids playing: "Storm! We need some cover!" "Don’t worry guys, I’ll stop the bad men with my powers." And then Halle Berry was like "Focus on me for ten minutes while my eyeballs change color."
Like on that episode of South Park where they’re all ninjas. "I have invincibility too, but better than Kyle."

Did anyone notice that there was like absolutely no concern for Cyclops when they got to Alakli Lake. I mean, Wolverine finds the guys special glasses levatating but yet no one seems to be upset that there are no random red laser blasts going off. They don’t even mention him until the Jean wakes up. WTF? Had Scott become such a pain in the ass in his mourning that no one cared he was dead?

Oh, and when Magneto bends the bridge … who here *DIDN’T* turn to the person next to them and say all sotto voice " … and suddenly night fell …"?

the xmen movie was pretty awful, im not sure how you can be a fan of the xmen and still appreciate X3.
The script was awful, the characters were all extremely dense and two-dimensional. magneto was reduced to nothing more then a "bad guy".
Angel was thrown away and wasted.
Not to mention every other character except for Storm and Wolvie.-
The soundtrack score to the film was very distracting and completely ruined the golden gate bridge sequence for me.
I really just wish the ones responsible would have treated the story and characters with respect instead of this mish-mosh hodgepodge of disappointment.
SPOILERS
the ending made no sense, Wolvie didn’t have to kill jean gray, he could have just used the cure on her.
–

"Wolvie didn’t have to kill jean gray, he could have just used the cure on her"
Robert Smith!
Robert Smith!
Chef: Do you have to do that!?

LemurCat-
"Oh, and when Magneto bends the bridge … who here *DIDN’T* turn to the person next to them and say all sotto voice " … and suddenly night fell …"? "

I guess I’m going to show my sad lack of culture. What is that in reference to?

the ending made no sense, Wolvie didn’t have to kill jean gray, he could have just used the cure on her.

Wrong. Anything that got near Jean disintegrated, and that would include the shots. Only Wolvie could approach her because of his fast healing power. And of course adamantium is the strongest make-believe metal in the world, so she couldn’t do anything to his claws.

LOL, thanks for the death spoiler. Guess I have an excuse not to go see it now.

Actually, kingklash, Disintegration is the BEST album EVER.

Spaz — "I guess I’m going to show my sad lack of culture. What is that in reference to?"

In know commercials here are mostly geared towards kid’s items, but those were stupendous. If you have more like those please don’t keep them from us. I read first and watched after, and you are correct about the fat-pants ad. It’s amazing that people could have fallen for that, not so long ago. (and probably some still wold) The part with Bertha glancing at the skinny girls is priceless.

Goddamn it, I’ve read about three characters that die without ANY spoiler space. WHYYYYYY?

I love infomercials. I put them on when I go to sleep every night. I remember one from the mid ’90’s that was like a big dehydrater, and they made Fruit Roll Ups in it. Man, I wanted one of those.

Ahh Slim Jeans… am I the only one here who’s familiar with the movie "Vision Quest", Matthew Modine as Louden Swain running around in the full silver suit, trying to make weight for the big wrestling tournament?

All others that die in the Marvel U will suffer from "Grey’s Disease" which is defined as: the inabilty to stay dead for any reasonable length of time, used interchangeably as a hackneyed plot device or Deus Ex Machina. Named after Jean Grey, aka Marvel Girl, aka Phoenix, aka Dark Phoenix, aka Marvel Girl, aka Phoenix, aka What The Hell’s Wrong With You Woman.

What with all the reality-warping crap going on, why don’t they just integrate the Ultraverse into the main continuity? Now that would be a chaotic event!

hate to ruin it for you… but Bucky isn’t dead. He’s returned in the Comics.

You are correct, Clarks neighbors in NL Christmas Vacation are wearing the suits. Good call, can’t remember if they are silver or black but I do remember the scene, that was just before Clark "fixed" his lights and set the neighborhood a blaze with 100,000 italian twinkle lights!

Yep, Bucky’s return was a major plotline in the current Captain America comic. His name is "Winter Soldier" now.

It used to be that Bucky and Uncle Ben (from Spider-Man) would be the two characters who would never return from the dead… Bucky’s been back for over a year, and Ben… well… there’s hints that he’s coming back. The real deal or a clone? Who knows.

Of course the sad irony of the Slim Jeans is they aren’t available in size XL.

Also, Jason Todd was another character who stayed dead for quite a long time.
He was the Robin who died in A Death in the Family.
Ironically on the back of the trade paperback, Batman Editor Denny O’Neil is quoted as saying, "It would be a really sleazy stunt to bring him back."
Couldn’t agree more.

That explains it. I don’t feel quite as uncultured now, although I’m still a hick at heart. I’m more of a sci-fi or fantasy guy myself. That’s TWO genres, not one, for you nimrods who think they’re the same thing.

Mostly the "horror" I’ve read has mostly been Stephen King- and that mostly looking for Dark Tower references. Plus, the Dark Tower is more of a sci-fi and fantasy mash-up than horror. It’s not that I haven’t tried the stuff; I’ve suffered through H.P Lovecraft and Dean Koontz books. I usually lose interest and go read about spaceships or dragons instead.

You’ve read about character deaths because Matt’s comment board mercilessly removes spoiler spaces. I tried to include some in my earlier post, and it was automatically deleted.

Not sure what the next movie that will have a big X-E following is, but it’s nice to discuss movies with people of the same demographic. Also, people here don’t try to act like professional critics. Also, most of us are casual fans of the same sorts of media, rather than rabid fan boys of a single comic/game/tv series/movie/what-have-you.

Spaz, too many spaces will break the page boundaries. Hit return/enter a few times instead and you’ll have plenty of room to play. Besides, your post had a warning, I’m guessing Sproo was referring more to posts like Jessica Marie’s that jumped straight into spoiler without any kind of preamble.
Personally I drop off the web completely if there’s something I truly care about having spoiled, but it’s nice to have a choice about it when the topic turns to movies I haven’t seen yet. It’s fun to be tempted to skip past that big WARNING.
Next movie I’m most excited about is Nacho Libre, then Marie Antoinette. A Scanner Darkly seems interesting but I don’t think it’ll turn out particularly great. I’m guessing Superman will be the hottest topic.

I saw X-MEN 3 (the midnight showing no less) and may I applaud all of you on your analysis. There is nothing really I can add except these 2 points: First, the movie reminded me of Batman and Robin(although not nearly as bad) in that you could tell that it would be the last totally overblown spectacle and that the next one would be more grassroots (like the beginning of BATMAN BEGINS). The next X-Men movie will probably have few of the original mutants opting instead for the low cost nobody who played Colossus, etc.

Second, the whole X-Men movie trilogy reminds me of Renton and Sickboy’s conversation in TRAINSPOTTING. "It’s not bad but it’s not great either. And while you tell yourself it’s not bad you know in your heart it’s really just shite."
Yep.

Actually, I did hit the return key a few times. The extra lines were just automatically removed.

Also, I noticed I used the word mostly three times in one sentence in my last post. Thankfully there’s no grammar nazis here. My English teachers would have had a collective heart attack.

I’m glad somebody else out there is looking forward to Strangers With Candy. It’s one of my favorite shows of all time, and I almost died when it was originally pulled off of release schedules last summer.

I was hesitant about Clerks 2, but I heard it got an eight-minute standing ovation at Cannes. So it has the support of some artsier folks.

Saw X3 yesterday. I honestly think that the strong script saved the film from Ratner’s habit of treating everything he does, to a greater or lesser extent, like a music video for MTV. It’s as though looking cool is his only priority, and if something looks cool enough, he doesn’t need to justify it by means of plot or logic. Mind you, the first thing that managed to jar me out of my fan-bliss was this:

The point where Magneto decided that the most expedient way of getting several dozen mutants to an island that’s literally only a couple of miles offshore is to steal the Golden Gate Bridge. I mean, damn, Mags. Was that really necessary? You can’t tell me there weren’t any boats around. I saw them. While you were sailing overhead on your hundred thousand ton magic carpet. And if taking a boat was too prosaic for you, you didn’t even have to get it in the water. You could have flown it with your magnetic powers and everything. I’m just saying.

Ah, Jedoc …. that would be utterly lacking in style. You know Magneto, why do something simply when you can make a spectacule of it?

Anyway, broke down and spent the $5 for what will undoubtedly prove to be a crappy bootleg copy for further analysis. Yes, I’m that guy (girl) when it comes to certain movies. Can’t help it.

Uhh, Shootin’ Second Solo? Excuse me for quoting a t-shirt, but HAN SHOT FIRST.

I was about to ridicule your "Han shot first" theory with an in-depth conspiracy analysis including discussion of a "magic blaster bolt" and a possible second shooter on the sandy knoll, but a quick google reveals that several other people already have websites devoted to the topic. I am so ashamed.

My bad; maybe the best format would be *WARNING* + one return. Sorry for the name typo too

I checked out Fandango and refreshed my mind on some of the other flicks I’m excited for: Prarie Home Companion, Strangers with Candy (finally!), The Devil Wears Prada, The Lady in the Water (I liked The Village, so I’ve got hopes), all the no brainers like Clerks 2, Pirates and SoaP and finally The Black Dahlia in September. I read that one over the long weekend ’cause I’ve had it sitting around and wanted to read it before I was influenced by the casting. Now that I’ve checked who’s in it I’m doubly excited.

It has also come to my attention that not only did somebody else independently duplicate my "Cheney Shot First" shirt, which I considered more or less inevitable, but it was Sore Thumbs, one of the stupidest comics on the web. Mine has loads more class, though.

Han didn’t shoot "first". Han fired the only shot, and killed greedo, who didn’t shoot.

BTW, I can’t wait to by the ORIGINAL VERSIONS of the Trilogy when they hit DVD.

Psh. There’s no such thing as an "original version" on DVD. Real men do Laserdisc. 30 gloriously gleaming centimeters of space age technology, baby.

Just because Clerks 2 got a standing ovation at Cannes does not mean that the average guy with a lowball sense of humor will enjoy it. Frankly, I worry that Kevin Smith is just cashing in on the mystique of the original, since it has been a while since one of his movies "hit." Also, there’s lots of movies that are adored at Cannes that I think are boring or downright bad.

On the plus side, there’s bound to be a Jay and Silent Bob part, and that will surely be funny. I just can’t get enough of those guys. I mean, "Jay’s Rap" from "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" is pure lyrical genius right? "Fuck fuck fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, mother fuck, mother fuck, noinch noinch noinch" is truly inspiring. I could only cuss like that in my fondest daydreams.

Kudos to LemurCat for figuring out the spoiler space thing. Like many things in life, I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it myself.

I’m glad they are finally coming out with the original versions, I’ve said all along they needed to be released on DVD but I don’t intend to buy them. As a set to tie in with the new trilogy, I’d rather have the versions I’ve already got. For historical reasons, the originals need to be out there, I just don’t really need to shell out cash for them.

Transformers movie pics here. Thought some might be interested, if you haven’t seen them all already.
I think too much spoiler space might be overkill, though safe is always better than sorry. I’m sure someone smarter than me could make some kind of argument about bandwidth or pixels or some other technical whatnot.
I don’t have huge expectations for Clerks 2, but Smith has quite the ear for dialogue no matter what other criticisms you can level. Ooh, speaking of dialogue, when the heck is Grindhouse coming out?
I was very creeped out by the lack of WTC and Empire State in that commercial but I thought about it more and decided the Liberty coin people just didn’t want any other landmarks stealing their thunder.

hunnerth!
I as well really can’t expect Clerks II to impress me, but I will probably see it right away when it comes out. Which is the same day as Snakes on a Plane which I will see as well.

They made Clerks earlier, so you won’t have to choose! Clerks now opens up next to…Lady in the Water (it’ll get crushed, despite the different demographics)

This is completely effin’ random, and usually I don’t do this sort of thing, but for Christ’s sake, I HATE PEOPLE. Me and my sister are trying to buy a house. We got the mortgage finalized, signed the contract of sale, gone on the physical expection, the whole deal. We’re 22 days out from closing. But the issue is … we have the biggest pain in the ass sellers. They’re kicking because we didn’t put 20% down — HELLO! This is Jersey, baby! I live in one of the most expensive counties in the country! NO ONE has 20% to put down on a house! That’s why there is 100% financing! Now it’s they don’t like that we have an FHA mortgage. Uh, you get your money regardless, bitches! I’ve about had it up to here with these f*cking people. They’re too lazy to put their gutters up properly. They’re too effin’ lazy to fix the flashing on their house, but goddamn it, they can piss and moan about my mortgage! And they’ve made remarks about "sabotage". Dumb f*cks. I’m kinda half-hoping they do something stupid like that just so I can sue them for everything they’ve ever thought of owning.

Real estate transactions are some of the most stressful things you will ever endure. One of the worst things is that it’s so easy for everything to fall through in the blink of an eye. Our seller was an idiot, and as an idiot he hired the cheapest, dumbest realtor he could find who almost screwed up everything for us (he’d tell our agent that we needed to meet right away because his client needed to finalize the sale ASAP and offer all these incentives for us to do that, then we’d get there and he’d deny ever saying any of it. There were other things too.) Plus, after nearly 4 years in this house we’ve discovered dozens of annoying things the seller did (apparently he liked to bend nails instead of taking the time to hammer them all the way in, which makes it difficult when you have to take whatever it is down or replace it.) I really feel your pain. Let it out.

I remember those pants and that ad, but I could swear the one that ran here had a different announcer. The one that said "won ate hundraddd" for "1-800". Anyway, not that they take "MasterCharge". I still call it Mastercharge and it still confuses people.

LemurCat - I’ll sell you my house.
Good condition, gutters are fine, chimney doesn’t need repointing, fine stonework.

Frigging George Lucas! I already own the trilogy TWICE and I do not want to buy it again…although I will probably buy the MEGA Episode I - VI edition that is bound to come out someday…

Are we to assume that the free ladies watch is only there so that she doesn’t feel so bad about her man wearing a cool, cool watch? Honestly, looks to me like the watch was not only created for men but there may be legal action taken if it’s worn by women.
Either that or when wearing your cool, cool, so useful watch you’re bound to attract lots of hot lady types. Give a free watch to the one you want to bring home with you for the night.
Can’t say that if I had that watch I wouldn’t want to wear it while wearing my Slim Jeans pants and free top and be an outer space guy. I’d fly around the Statue of Liberty in a hover car hoping to avoid fasionable aliens from planet leather. If they get in my hair though, I’ll use my watch to take them out. It counts seconds and aliens can;t deal with that.

Actually, my fiancee DID do the whole "losing water weight by wrapping yourself with crap" thing during high school. He was a wrestler, and if they didn’t get back to their weight class by a certain period of time, then they didn’t compete. Yeah, it was totally unhealthy, but they did it anyways.

Somebody showed Transformers pics up above. That got me thinking - don’t know if anyone else has seen them, but they have just released Star Wars Transformers.

Four of them : Vader/TIE, Luke/X-Wing, Grievous/Wheel Bike, Obi-Wan/Jedi Starfighter

Does anyone else remember these toylines ever crossing over? They actually look pretty cool - I mean, as cool as they could, I suppose.

Matt, have you seen the new superman capt crunch cereal? It turns the milk blue

Got to be good for you. Not to mention the superman outfit that has a blower motor on it

and the smashing gloves. Lots of hype for this "Superman Returns"

Ninj, Matt did a blog with pics of the Vader and Boba Transformers pretty recently.
I always find it really odd when people say "MasterCharge"! Without reigniting the Great Pop Debate, I’ve noticed it as mainly an Eastern/Southern thing.

My one problem with the new XXXMen flick was when Strorm was all like, "Are your going to be ready???" to Wolverine.

Kudos RTW. And what was up with Charles stepping to Wolvie? Chuck better recognize.

I really don’t like Epcot. Well, I haven’t been since they opened the Mission Space Ride, and I’ve never managed to ride Test Track, so all I’ve ever really done there is eaten and chucked ice at my friends. I also didn’t like how nobody at Epcot speaks English. None of them new what an arcade was.

MGM would be my second, a handful of good rides. And the Millionare play it is pretty flippin sweet.

Animal Kingdom has to be the worst Theme Park in Florida. It closes at like 5pm and because there is nothing to do you’ll leave at 3.

NOOO!!! Not the pop/soda/coke/fizz thing again.
There must be more fascinating things about each person’s local culture worth discussing.

I actually liked Animal Kingdom when I was down there. And it was like right after it opened. It’s supposed to have a kick-ass coaster in it now, so I would imagine it’s even better. And they had lemurs, so that rocks pretty hard in my book.

I liked Epcot too, but wish they still had the old World of Imagination ride with Figment. Still have parts of that song lodged in the back of my head. I also liked "Drinkin’ Round the World". The rides in Norway and Mexico were pretty cool, from what I recall.

MGM was pretty cool, with the Star Wars and the Muppets and all that. But I still love the Magic Kingdom. I’m such a tool, I could spend hours putzing around Tom Sawyer Island.

I was having a good laugh, the last time I was down there I stayed at the Dixie Landings, which has since been renamed the Port Orleans Riverside. I guess that whole Antebellum South theme went poorly for ‘em. The Cast Members where never amused when I referred to the "Bayou" section as the Slave Shacks.

Pretty much everything LemurCat mentioned will be in my Disney article(s), starting this weekend.

My girlfriend loved Animal Kingdom, and I did too…to an extent. The dinosaur-related stuff all rocked, but it didn’t really account for much. The animals were less close and less major than what I can see at a Six Flags safari, so while cool, it was nothing I’ll TREASURE FOREVER.

Last time I went to disney we hit 3 parks in 3 days (disneyland epcot and disney mgm studios, I don’t think the animal kingdom was open yet). It was pretty fun but I only remember there being like only 1 ride at epcot (some ride thru the human body? I think) and it was the same ride I had gotten on at mgm (star wars) and it was the same exact ride except for the sounds and the video playing on the screen. Other than that all I did at epcot was play videogames all day. They had a building with nothing but sega genesis and sega saturn games in it and I spent hours in there only cuz there was nothing else for me to do! Oh and one of the breakdancing robot people was hitting on my mom. Shiny bastard.

I love the Epcot, MGM, and the Magic Kingdom, in that order. But it’s been several years since I’ve been now, and I’m sure things have changed. We went to the Animal Kingdom last time and found it a bit boring–a good zoo would have been better–but still enjoyable. That was only a few years after it had opened, so I’m sure the Animal Kingdom park has expanded quite a bit by now.

Being a big Rob Zombie fan, I’m intrigued by your statement. When/where did he cover any Kiss songs?

Frankly, I think he could probably make a Michael Bolton tune sound kick ass. Ever compare the original "Boogie Man" to Zombie’s "Boogey Man?" If he wants to cover something, I’ll probably buy it.

KMFDM did a great cover of "Who Made Who" and "Material Girl" and "Mysterious Ways".

also, 1000 Homo DJ’s did a great cover of the Black Sabbath song "Supernaut". 1000 Homo DJ’s is a side project of Al Jourgensen from Ministry.

When I saw Ministry in Milwaukee last year, the did Supernaut, and Rick Nielsen, the guitarist for Cheap Trick, got up on stage to play along.

I predict that in a thousand years, some poor archeologist is going to be trying to translate into whatever they’re going to be speaking in a thousand years. Binary. Whatever. Anyway, after working his entire life on the problem, and thinking that he’s just about to get a grip on our lexicon, he’s going to come across a discussion of contemporary music and the band names are going to completely destroy his translation system, and he’ll give up in despair. And it will all be on the shoulders of 1000 Homo DJs.

Hey Matt, how did you like Everest? That’s the newest thing there right now. Man, I miss WDW… It’s been almost 7 years since my CM time as a Custodial.

I think that the places like this must be visited at least once in a month. wat say??

Jedoc, put that theory and apply sarcasm. It doesn’t even go over well on text today.

"archeologist Marmar made an incredible discovery today about the people of the 21st century. According to an acient digital scripture (or in their one syllable premitive language, "Blog" as they called it) it can now be deduced that people of that time thought that their raising fuel prices were in fact fantastic and that they loved it when their xbox 360’s (a stove like device) would break down."

dohopoki: If I live to be a thousand, I’m going back to college to write my thesis on the ancient god "Aol," whose silvery totems can be found by the thousand at every level of society. Though the power and omnipresence of the deity cannot be denied, archaologists will debate hotly over what these totems, or "prayer discs," are supposed to be used for. The mainstream will merely suppose that they were some form of ornamentation, though highly vocal fringe groups will argue that they were meant to "deflect" ill fortune, while still allowing blessings through the central hole. Conspiracy theorists will claim that such a primitive society could never create artifacts of such apparent complexity and perfection, and that they were trade goods provided by visiting aliens in exchange for vital resources. However, recently uncovered photographic evidence (see: "Dead Rising" dig) suggests their use as ritual weapons. The world may never know.

On a lighter note, I got the new Cosmo yesterday and it suggests brightening up your hair for summer by adding some Kool-Aid to your regular shampoo.

It was on VH1’s Rock Honors show. The segments for each group honored (for those who didn’t see it) started with a tribute to the particular group consisting of a current band covering a song or two. For the Simmons’ Kaijuu Kabuki Rock And Roll Ensemble, the group was a one-time gathering of Scott Ian, Gilby Clarke, Slash, Tommy Lee, Rob Zombie, and surprise guest Ace Frehley. The whole show was pretty good, but the KISS segment was saved until last, and blasted the roof off the joint. Rob and Scott were the most animated of the goup, and just hearing Zombie sing "You’ve got something about you/ You’ve got something I need…." and wearing a leather jacket with a ribcage printed on it was cheese-pizza-without-the-pizza cool! You guys ought to catch it when it airs again.

If I may make a bold pronouncement, I’m calling that the Disney article(s) may turn out to be ranked up there in people’s all-time favorites.
Regarding the people who say "Aloha" and totally mean it, I’ve been wanting to incorporate "Cheers!" into my conversations with customers (like when we’ve both thanked each other already but I still gotta say something) but everytime I’m about to say it I totally wimp out because I imagine how unnatural it’s going to sound. I envy those Aloha people.

"Slim Jeans…You’ve got nothing to lose but pounds and inches…and your dignity! Order now!"

By the way, I think if anyone hasn’t seen X3 yet but claims to not want to hear spoilers ought to just see the damn movie already. How big of a fan can you be if you don’t see it on opening weekend? There should only be a 2 day spoiler alert time period so that true fans can see the movie. Of course, I haven’t seen any of the X-Men movies, just never got into them. Superman Returns will be a different story however.

I am the kind of fan that can’t see it opening weekend because he’s working all weekend serving the people who are seeing it opening weekend. Unfortunately movie theater employees have to work when normal people see movies

what’s the best comic-book film that’s been made? including sequels. come one people, i need a top five here!!!

My bad. Kinda forget that weekend jobs exist. But I still think there should be some sort of spoiler alert time frame.

1) Batman (1989): This movie still amazes me. Nicholson was the best Joker, and Keaton was unexpected and inspired casting. Danny Elfman’s score gives me shivers.

2) Batman Begins: This movie amazes me too. I have no particular prediliction for Batman over other comic characters, but he seems to have gone to the big screen better than any other comic hero. Maybe it’s because he’s more based in realism than the "super power" heroes.

3) Spider-man: Maybe it was the time in my life when I first saw it, but the Peter/MJ story brings tears to my eyes. Spidey 2 was okay, but I love the first.

4) V For Vendetta: Not one of the comic book "standards," but I loved this movie. I just read George Orwell’s 1984, and (while it was an enjoyable book in and of itself), my enjoyment doubled because V For Vendetta mirrored it so frequently.

5) X2: While the first X-Men was kind of underwhelming, this movie took my breath away.

A close sixth is Superman: The Movie, but there are some pacing problems that can’t even be saved by John Williams’ amazing score.

Guess I’ll play too since I need to kill some time.
5. Sin City - Amazing cinematography and a faithful take on Frank Miller’s graphic novels.

4. Spider-Man - Probably the most fun I’ve had at a movie theater in years. Great story, great casting.

2. Batman - Jack Nicholson as the Joker and the dark feel of this movie makes it a fav. of mine.

1. The Hulk - Allowed me to catch up on 2 hours of sleep. For that I will be eternally grateful.

By the way, where is the movie love for Flash and Aquaman? Guess because their powers are lame.

I thought there was a movie with the Flash? A quick IMDB search yeilded a TV series (that I vaguely remmber, actually) and a TV movie, and moive in production: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0439572/

I have to say that V for Vendetta is one of my favorite comic book movies, with a relatively faithful translation, too. like Superman I,II, and III, also..

I have nothing but a giant assload of hate for Burton’s Batman movies.
Really all Batman movies but Batman Begins, but especially Burton’s.

1.)Batman Begins - Exactly like I would’ve done it.
2.)Batman 1966 - People who don’t get the Adam West Batman piss me off so much.
3.)X-men 2 - The first one was great, this one is better.
4.)Spider-man - 2 was alright but this one was more solid.
5.)X-men - Great

When I think comic book movies I’m really thinking super-hero movies. Other movies that are also comics just don’t stand out like that, except something like sin city where the book was pratically story boards.

Ive got to buy one of those watches- any comercial that uses music from TRON has to be top of the line and state of the art! seriously, I grew up in Poughkeepsie NY and I remember watching this comercial and thinking if I got one I would be the coolest geek around!

Good call about the TRON music Raygunn - I couldn’t help but notice that myself too. I think it uses the Wendy Carlos track "Tower Music - Let Us Pray." Which, might I add, they also used in the TRON trailer.

Why would someone wearing small bother with them (unless they have a thing for public humiliation I guess), and would the person who "actually needs" the jeans fit in a large?

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i was searching for a Pryde of the X-men download (out of curiosity…I love X-Men) and somehow, magically got led to this blog. I skimmed through it and noticed the chat about x-men, particularily x-3. My comments…

1) NO NIGHTCRAWLER!! THEY DON’T EVEN MENTION HIM!! WTH???
2) NO GAMBIT!
3) It magically becamenight when Magneto moved the bridge
4) Angel, whose power is incredibly cool (who hasn’t thought about having wings at one point) has a whole three seconds on screen and a whopping five lines
5) Rogue loses her powers with the cure (although there is an alternate sceen on the DVD where she doesn’t)
6) At the end everyone and their grandma lost thier powers or got disintegrated
7) They never say what happens to Pyro after he loses his hands

Jean Grey’s hair magically grew three feet while she was underwater
9) Cyclops, who I thought was played very well in the movies, dies in the first ten minutes can everyone say WTF
10) and, finally….the plot, which promises to be interesting in the beginning (should mutants even be cured?) quickly becomes a huge battle between the x-men and the brotherhood until finally the plot is lost altogether and never solved

Love this site, but I found it really funny that this article’s background image is the carpet that Target uses in its softlines area. I used to work at one, I’ve seen it enough times!

Did anyone notice that the slim jeans only come in Small, Medium, and Large. All of us fatties couldn’t even fit into the slim jeans!

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