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04/30/2006: Tribute to Stay Puft, and Roy Rogers’ Happy Meals.

I had a dream that I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up, my pillow had transformed into an all-too-long tribute to The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. One love, Stay Puft. We tight.

Fast food chains are more successful in some areas than other areas, and in NYC, the once-great Roy Rogers’ scope has dwindled down to just a few remaining restaurants. I don’t know when Roy stopped being fashionable, but I’d like to kill the person who started that movement because God damn, his chicken was serious business. The breast pieces always came with this little knob of fried fat attached to the edge, and popping those busters is certainly what led to every fried chicken place on the planet coming up with their version of “chicken poppers.” If you live in a city that still pays Roy his due respect, consider yourself lucky and eat some crunchy skin for me.

Roy’s inability to connect with children may have played a part in his slow decline. McDonald’s had Happy Meals and Burger King had constant Happy Meal rip-offs, and Wendy’s had a pretty little red-haired girl on the marquee, but what did Roy Rogers have? Nothing. Roy Rogers had chicken. Roy Rogers has roast beef. But Roy Rogers had no Happy Meal.

Eh, that’s not entirely true. Once in a blue moon, Roy would put aside his convictions about chicken restaurants needing to serve chicken and not pander to the lowbrow crowd who wanted toys with their chicken. I assume this to be the work of his advisors, always in Roy’s ear with more lies about the necessity of a Happy Meal element. I kind of want to spend the next paragraph writing “buckaw” over and over again, but I won’t. One of Roy’s Rare Rappy Reals was called “Power Pullers,” including small action figures that…pulled power.

Essentially superhero-shaped Wacky Wall Walkers, the figures came in four different colors, stuffed in text-ridden picture boxes that went to great lengths to make the toys seem more interesting than McDonald’s Fast Macs. Click here to download the commercial, and note how the song number doesn’t really gel with save-the-world superhero toys. Buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw buckaw.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 134 comments

There’s a RGB and a Slimer cartoon on the GBII disc in the I&II set I bought at Wal-Mart. "If I must, I must. Although, all things considered…."
The "main" (read:ABC’s Saturday Morning as opposed to the syndicated) ‘toon had some great writing!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/01/2006 4:04 PM EDT

matt your your stay puft article was one of the greatest in months
you the man

Ghosted by spliner is a rat @ 05/01/2006 4:17 PM EDT

Happy May Day!

"Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today"

-First of May, Johnathon Coulton

Ghosted by Welsh Rabbit @ 05/01/2006 5:59 PM EDT

Gah! Everytime I see kb post I think it’s just Kidneyboy shortening his name for some odd reason. There’s too many people to keep track of! For a while I could have sworn mtrox and Mike the Great were the same person. There’s too many damn Mikes. And Joshes. And Matts. You all need to think up cooler handles.

Did we get another fucking Darth, too?

Ghosted by Mystie @ 05/01/2006 6:31 PM EDT

Not to be nitpicky, but the "Do Re Egon" sequence was from Ghostbusters 2, when they are in the courthouse

Ghosted by Chris @ 05/01/2006 6:47 PM EDT

Mystie: Sorry. From this point forward I will be known…as Spoodles.

DUM DUM DUM!

In re: to your earlier comment: How does a post-coitus Ghostbuster quote session go? I’d imagine "He slimed me" is prevalent, but where else do you go with it?

And Chris–Matt mentioned that it was from the sequel.

Ghosted by mtrox @ 05/01/2006 6:53 PM EDT

"Not to be nitpicky, but the "Do Re Egon" sequence was from Ghostbusters 2, when they are in the courthouse "
I’m pretty sure that was mentioned in the review. Unless it was changed recently, I don’t know. Besides, I can’t be nitpicky because I’m about to mention something that may have allready been mentioned. I’m not going to check because I’m lazy.
The other Ghostbusters cartoon came first… sort of. It was based on a live action T.V. Show from the 70s. And if you’re daring, check it out. I found an episode through a Yahoo video search.

Also, The Mrs. has 2 of those Stay Puft action figures if you still need one, Matt.

Lemme know.

Ghosted by Lucky Redlightbulbs @ 05/01/2006 6:56 PM EDT

mtrox – I wish I could remember. It was pretty early on in the relationship, so we may have still been going through the "what movies do you like?" stage. Not much else to talk about when you’re parked in a contruction site in the middle of the night. *shrug*

Ghosted by Mystie @ 05/01/2006 7:27 PM EDT

Ha lol Good stuff

Ghosted by Danny @ 05/01/2006 7:28 PM EDT

Ha! mtrox, I like that pseudonym. Every time the boyfriend and I discuss Disneyworld, we have to say "Spoodles" 4 or 5 hundred times over the next few days.

It’s a restaurant on the Disney Boardwalk in case anyone wondered. The name is baffling, yet compelling somehow. And also, spoodles spoodles spoodles.

Ghosted by Welsh Rabbit @ 05/01/2006 8:11 PM EDT

We have a restaurant here called Noodles or something. I always think it’s called Spoodles though. I think that would be a better name.

I heard about that restaurant in Disney, but I didn’t see it. I miss Disney so much. I think I’m having a sort of post-partum depression. I’m already trying to find a way to raise money to go back during Christmas. By the way, it’s not possible to eat as much character related food as possible. I did end up in the middle of the park with ice cream and chocolate all over my face, though. This fat guy stared at me the whole time I ate it. I think he was turned on.

As for lost food.. I can’t think of much. I used to love strawberry Charlston Chews, but they’re becoming hard to find. Of course I miss the original Jell-O Pudding Pops, as does everyone in the entire world.

I remember at Hardee’s we got those little electronic Ghostbuster things. My cousin, who I’m pretty sure was a miniature meth addict, took mine apart. I still hate him for that.

Ghosted by Rebecca @ 05/01/2006 9:04 PM EDT

venison,

I had two versions, actually. I had one that you strapped on your back, and then the particle thrower/gun had a long foam part coming out that was supposed to be the stream (my memory wants to say it was like a meter long, but it was probably closer to two feet or less.). I had the trap with that one.

The second one didn’t come with the pack itself, and was a far bulkier version of the particle thrower/gun/whatever, but the cool thing was it was basically a projector, so whenever you hit the trigger, it would project this big image of all these different ghosts on the wall. I wish I still had that.

Ghosted by Wukong @ 05/01/2006 9:43 PM EDT

LOL Rebecca the image of giving birth to Disney brings to mind a certain South Park gag.
Speaking of names, is it dumb that I got a major kick out of my (real) name turning up on Sopranos last night? It’s always been pretty rare to hear on telly so I marked out like a total geek.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 05/01/2006 9:56 PM EDT

Wukong – I had the same one and I’d like to think the foam was at least 2 feet. It probably wasn’t.

Ghosted by megamouth @ 05/01/2006 11:20 PM EDT

Squee4242- I know what you mean. The only place I hear my name is in Masterpiece Theatre style period dramas. It feels weird to hear someone say it when they’re not talking to me. I still say it’s better to have an unusual name though, even if you can’t buy sparkly pencils with your name on them from that big dime-store rack.

Ghosted by Welsh Rabbit @ 05/01/2006 11:25 PM EDT

Ha, found an egg in the article. Let’s just say that you can talk to Murray if you really want to.

Ghosted by Mike @ 05/01/2006 11:42 PM EDT

I thought I was the only person to be semi-traumatized by the library scene in Ghostbusters.
I can still vividly remember being 4 years old and watching the moving on beta-max with my dad, him asking if I was ok to watch it and me foolishly saying yes.

Ghosted by Brett @ 05/01/2006 11:59 PM EDT

Mike:

I’ve hovered over the word Murray and every picture of Murray (be it the Mantis or Bill). Any other clue?

Ghosted by Spoodles @ 05/02/2006 1:08 AM EDT

Nevermind, found it. Now the real question: does he talk back.

Ghosted by Spoodles @ 05/02/2006 1:14 AM EDT

Hmmm…never heard of Roy Rogers. I guess that’s because I’m not from the east coast. Sometimes I wish I was. More specifically, I wish I was from NYC, except for…well…you know.

Ghosted by Nate @ 05/02/2006 1:16 AM EDT

RGB was my bible when I was a kid. I still have my Kenner Stay Puft Marshmellow Man, and a Marshmellow Man plush doll with glow-in-the-dark facial features.

I also saw a replica(I doubt it was an authentic movie prop) of the Ecto-1 zoom by when I was in the drive-thru at Rax (which I just learned still has open locations somewhere). I practically shat my pants. My dad made a comment like "It’s probably driven by wooden men who go ‘neener-neener-neener!’"
I chalk this memory up either to:
1. I had poor comprehension and memory when I was about five.
OR
2. My Dad’s heavy drinking in those days.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 05/02/2006 1:44 AM EDT

Staypuft is the shit, but honestly… man i miss me some Roy Rogers, they had awesomely delicious burgers and chicken sandwiches, and the ones that are still around (which are far and few between) still have awesomely delicious food. Here’s to Roy Rogers, and one last Rogery chicken hoo-ra!!!

Ghosted by Jericho @ 05/02/2006 3:12 AM EDT

When I was 9 my family went to Universal Studios. Little me saw the Ecto-1 and practically peed herself. Anyone know if it’s still there?

Oh and I was explaining to my friend about my cousin’s obsession with taking apart all things electronic and she didn’t understand the meth addict correlation. So, to clear things up for those of you who aren’t in the know, meth addicts like to take stuff apart. Upon researching this fact, I found this amusing True/False article geared towards at-risk teenagers. Here’s a snippit:

"TRUTH: Meth can make you want to clean and get organized.

REALITY: It’s true that meth can make you want to clean, but that doesn’t mean your room will be neat and tidy. Meth use is called "tweaking" for the repetitive actions users find themselves doing, like taking apart and trying to reassemble things. Unfortunately hygiene becomes unimportant and addicts often live in filthy environments. Therefore, it’s unlikely that meth will help get your mom off your back to clean your room."

Good God, I hope that there is no one taking meth solely to get their mom "off their back" for not cleaning their room.

Ghosted by Rebecca @ 05/02/2006 4:16 AM EDT

As a former tweeker, I can honestly say that I never lived in a filthy environment when I was tweeking and that my apartment was always fucking spotless and my hygiene became a majorly obsessive point for me to avoid things like speed bumps and fucking up my teeth. Even though I don’t do drugs anymore, I hate generalized anti-drug propoganda bullshit.

What does this have to do with Ghostbusters?

Ghosted by WonKa @ 05/02/2006 5:17 AM EDT

I love the crossdressed characters holding onto the balloon in that episode.

Ghosted by Felicity @ 05/02/2006 7:13 AM EDT

Oh my favorite current anti-drug propoganda is that radio ad they always play when i’m on the way to work.

POT = CUPCAKES!!

It’s something like….

"So yesterday my friend Amanda told me to smoke some pot. So I did. Then today she told me to shoplift. And now I have a cupcake down my pants… with frosting. And it doesn’t want to stay there. And the manager is looking at me funny."

Ghosted by Mystie @ 05/02/2006 7:24 AM EDT

If I was ever to get into short films, my genre of choice would absolutely be spoof anti-drug ads. My favorite script so far: a prototypical high school party, with crappy music and rampant stupidity much apparent. Our hero is repeatedly offered drugs and drinks, which he politely declines. After a short montage of such clips, the background music cuts out, and we find our hero sitting on a couch in the middle of a room filled with passed-out high school students. He looks around, pulls out a sharpie, and starts writing on people’s faces. After a few seconds of this, the camera cuts back to the same view of the entire room, now featuring a bunch of stoners with amusing obscenities scrawled across their foreheads. As the hero caps his marker and walks out, the image defocuses and cuts to the end placard. Voiceover: "Being a dick. That’s my anti-drug."

I mean, let’s face it. Which is going to carry more weight with the youth of today? "Don’t do drugs, because it might adversely affect the career you currently don’t give two sacks of llama droppings for because you secretly believe you’re going to be a rock star" or "Don’t do drugs, or you’re likely to wake up with a penis on your forehead"?

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 05/02/2006 8:34 AM EDT

squee, all of those pop links have been doing that, especially the date links at the top of the main blog.

Also, I went to a flea market earlier on Sunday, and found the deal of a lifetime: a box full of rare, old transformers for $50! Here’s some of the best stuffs:

-Galvatron, and it works!
-Shockwave!! But it doesnt work and its a bit fragile!
-Perceptor, 2 of them: one in good condition with accessories (the knobs and the microscope tube), and one in bad without em. Which brings my total Perceptors to 3, and the first one was in good condittion, but didn’t have any accessories
-Wreck-Gar
-Blitzwing (sadly, its tank turrent is gone)
-Astrotrain
-Ramjet or whichever of the Starscream clones was red
-the trailer for Ultra Magnus
-Vortex AND Beachcomber with their original blister cards!
-Mixmaster (the cement mixer for Devastator)
*all TFs are G1

plus about 15+ other transformers and other stuff, like a Yellow Voltron lion, a Spider-man in the Symbiote costume, and a MOTU comic/figure guide

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 05/02/2006 9:21 AM EDT

Have you guys seen the new ice cream skittles? I thought I might try them but usually wait till Matt does a review

Ghosted by super_dex @ 05/02/2006 9:47 AM EDT

So, is that the same Roy Rogers that did western shows or whatever? Because I live in Portsmouth Ohio, a city that constantly tries to pump the fact that Roy Rogers grew up here, we have an esplanade and even a roy rogers festival, but I have never ever heard of a Roy Rogers Restaraunt. Jesus this city is pathetic.

Ghosted by Thatoneguy @ 05/02/2006 9:52 AM EDT

I’m tempted to go take pictures of Roy’s birds just so you can see what you’re missing.

Ghosted by Matt @ 05/02/2006 9:55 AM EDT

RewolfJ -
Rax? Where?
They had the tastiest burgers. I had the most kickass birthday party there one year.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 05/02/2006 10:54 AM EDT

No Roy’s in Missouri that I ever knew of, but I have somehow always known of the existence of the chain, so I musta seen one somewhere along the line. Maybe it was in Texas. I dunno.

By the way, if anyone wants to play a good Ghostbusters video game – nay, the *best* Ghostbusters video game, look no further than HAL’s "New Ghostbusters 2" for the NES. Forget what you know about Activision’s terrible Ghostbusters 2 that we got here in the U.S., "New" GB2 is a whole different game that was only released in Europe and Japan (presumably because Activision had already secured US rights to the license.) We totally got screwed on this deal. New GB2 is from a top-down perspective and it reminds me a lot of Sega’s Alien Syndrome. It’s good shit, grab an emulator and the ROM and check it out.

Ghosted by lugnut @ 05/02/2006 11:04 AM EDT

I went to Roy Rogers once and the burger was cold and tasteless. And this was my opinion as a ten year old, not a jaded twenty-something health nut.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 05/02/2006 11:51 AM EDT

Man, your bringing back memories!! Loved the Ghostbusters/cartoon/toys and especially the Commodore 64 game, which was impossible to win!! To be a kid in the eighties was great!

Ghosted by D. Jammer @ 05/02/2006 11:52 AM EDT

I always think of Roy Rogers as the coke and grenidine thing.
And Mystie, I’m sorry, I’m just gonna be kb.

Ghosted by kb @ 05/02/2006 11:56 AM EDT

Hey, the annoucer person, what that Jodi Foster?!!?

Ghosted by Mike @ 05/02/2006 1:23 PM EDT

Don’t worry kb I think most careful readers can tell the diff.
Artie got busted!!! Okay, so it was the actor who plays Artie who got arrested…it’s news nonetheless!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 05/02/2006 2:28 PM EDT

Oh, haha, the correlation between Ghostbusters and meth is that I was talking about how I got those little electronic talking things from Hardee’s way back when and my cousin took mine apart (as he did with most electronic stuff) and I called him a miniature meth addict. But my friend didn’t know what I was talking about, so I was trying to explain how when you’re on meth you take stuff apart and put it back together. Voila! We have the Ghostbuster/meth correlation. I’m pretty sure we could connect anything to Ghostbusters if we try hard enough.

Ghosted by Rebecca @ 05/02/2006 3:00 PM EDT

Goddamn, that article made me crave for marshmallows, but the stores are closed. I’m dying from a severe lack of marshmallows now.

Ghosted by dudefromfinland @ 05/02/2006 3:02 PM EDT

And yea, I also hate those anti-drug commercials. There’s that one with that girl all deflated and her sister’s talking saying something like "yesterday she tried pot for the first time. now all she does is sit there." Fuck that. I was way more energetic and spontaneous on pot. Me and my friends would smoke a bowl and suddenly the possibilities of what to do were endless. I no longer smoke pot and now all I do is sit on the internet posting comments on X-E and illegally downloading music.

Ghosted by Rebecca @ 05/02/2006 3:22 PM EDT

That library ghost from the beginning of "Ghostbusters" scared the absolute holy hell out of me when I was little. Thank God I can finally admit that without feeling really, really silly.

Ghosted by Monte @ 05/02/2006 3:39 PM EDT

Rebecca interestingly enough, I was looking for a non-spyware, virus filled app to download music. I use to use WinMX but has been shut down for a while. Anyone have a good one?

Mystie I believe there’s only 2 Darths on here. Myself and Poop. We must kill anyone else….

They had been playing the hell out of Ghostbusters a few weeks ago on Showtime. Not that I mind. I must have watched it at lease 10 times.

"Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a God, you say…YES!!"

"I’ve seen shit that’ll turn you white!!!"

Ghosted by Darth Galvatron @ 05/02/2006 4:10 PM EDT

"What are you guys? Some kind of cosmonauts?"
"No, exterminators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on 7."
"Must be some roach."
"Bite your head off. Going up?"
"No, I’ll wait."

Thermal mugs and balloons for the kids. That’s what the X needs.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 05/02/2006 4:43 PM EDT

Jessica Marie: http://www.rax-online.com/raxlocations.htm
Almost all of them are in Ohio.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 05/02/2006 5:17 PM EDT

That site wouldn’t work for me earlier, thanks. I can’t believe there’s one in Johnstown, I live (relatively) close in Pittsburgh. Someday I’ll have to find an excuse to taste those delicious, delicious slices of meat…

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 05/02/2006 5:27 PM EDT

"So is the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man a ghost or a Marshmellow demon. I remember being quite puzzled to see Stay Puft in the Containment Unit in the Real Ghostbusters cartoon series. My theory at the time was that when Stay Puft died at the end of the Ghostbusters, his ghost (can demons have ghost?) came back and was captured later by the Ghostbusters."

*The only explanation I’ve ever been able to come up with [And keep in mind I am a Ghostbusters fanatic/historian/archivalist all in one - Yes we do exist and "trekkies" and Star Wars fanatics et al don't have the corner on the "uber nerd" market], is that in the "Citizen Ghost" Episode [Where the post-Gozer/movie story is told by Peter via a flashback] the doppelgangers of themselves that they end up fighting were comprised of the ectoplasmic remains of Stay Puft [From the prior battle with Gozer] strewn all over their old flightsuits [Which Peter was suppossed to destroy, but hid behind the Containment Unit instead out of pure laziness], and the energy leaking from the then-newly-reconstructed Containment Unit II…The energy leaking out of the Containment Unit charged the mostly-dormant energy from the remains of Stay Puft, along with the guy’s "psychic imprints" on each of the 4 individual outfits, resulting in thier evil doppelgangers…

They obviously ended up busting them, and with that "charged latter-day Gozer/Stay Puft" energy now in the Containment Unit, to where it wasn’t before it most likely regrouped, and reverted to Stay Puft, being the last big form it took…

*That still doesn’t explain why he wasn’t still evil though…

"There was an explanation of why there was a Stay-Puft in the containment unit. I think it had to do with a major spook of some type creating a near-exact copy because the original almost got the RGBs the last time. They managed to trap this one and discovered that it wasn’t evil, just stupid. He became the Ghost of Last Resort."

*Though this episode sounds very familiar, and I’ll have to go back and check…

*Cheers.

Ghosted by Lanny D. Crepit ["Ectofiend"] @ 05/02/2006 6:03 PM EDT

Here’s just a taste of how lame I am:
While I was growing up, I was thoroughly enamored with all things Ghostbuster-related, having seen the movie countless times. Unfortunately, the "edited-for-TV" version of the flick is what I watched over and over again as a kid. My folks didn’t own an actual copy of the film. Rather, I watched an old, worn-out VHS tape containing a version of Ghostbusters that had been recorded off of ABC’s movie-of-the-week god knows how many years ago. The point is, I grew up under the impression that Ray called Peck "Wally Wick" in the mayor’s office instead of "dickless" and furthermore, I had no knowledge of some sexy apparition performing disembodied fellatio upon Ray in a dream sequence. When I finally saw the unaltered version of the film some years later (I think I may have been 18 or older at the time), it BLEW MY FUCKING MIND!!! I felt extremely cheated for unknowingly being denied the true, unfettered Ghostbusters experience throughout my adolescent years. Needless to say, my already steadfast and boundless love for the film increased tenfold after I discovered how raunchy it was.

Ghosted by The Yeti @ 05/02/2006 7:15 PM EDT

Matt, if you ever find yourself traveling upstate, they have many Roy Rogers at the NY Thruway service plazas. Only place in upstate I have seen a Roy Rogers, though I think Buffalo had one in a mall once.

Ghosted by Destro @ 05/02/2006 7:38 PM EDT

Wow. Looks like I missed a lot. Everybody has been here. Shame too because I could have actually commented on this one.
GHOSTBUSTERS remains the only movie I have ever seen from the middle to the end and then from the beginning to the middle IN THE THEATER. Strange? Me, Dad and my brother were kicked out for one of Mom’s social things at the last minute. With no where to go, we ended up at the dollar theater. They let us in even though the movie had already started AND let us stay for the next showing. Doubt that would happen today.
I had the Egon figure, Ray, and the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man. Stay Puft is in my classroom today. Although everyone thinks its the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Kids today.
Never been to a Roy Rogers :(

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 05/02/2006 7:45 PM EDT

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