All I need is him and Zork, and my weekend is complete.
MAtt, all the work you do here is completely appreciated, and I think a whole bunch, if not the majority, of us, would be traumatized if something happened to this site. Seriously. I for one, and I will freely admit this, look forward to coming here everyday. I’m not crazy, I’m mentally stable, I have a great job, and a pretty great life overall, but coming to this sight is really a highlight to my day and has been for several years. At the minimum, it lets me know there are people out there that appreciate the same things I do.
Now that I’m in the sentimental mood, I need to get the Dr. to whisper sweet digitized nothings in my ear. …
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 04/11/2006 12:00 PM
Domo arigato, Dr. Sbaitso. (because nobody said it yet)
And, Darth G, next time your woman wants you to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, she won’t like it if all she hears is "Donut holes, donut holes, donut holes…"
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/11/2006 12:23 PM
Kinglash:
I usually just whisper "sweet nothings, sweet nothings, sweet nothings…"
I think it’s funny….apparently most women do not….
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 04/11/2006 12:49 PM
I have never heard of this Dr. Sbaitso before this article. I was computer deprived (pretty much) as a child. Well, ok we had a Tandy something or other, but yeah, all I played was King’s Quest, Space Quest and … was it Zork? Doesn’t seem right, but maybe. It was the one where you didn’t have any graphics, just a map to go by, and they gave you descriptions of the setting, and you got choices as to what you wanted to do next. Loved that game.
Matt, you could write a 25 word article about dirt and we would still love you and your site.
Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 04/11/2006 1:04 PM
Ryane:
Yup, Zork, definately Zork.
God that game was awesome!
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 04/11/2006 1:07 PM
Ok, cool. Yeah I’ve been sitting here trying to think of what else that game could be called, but nothing is coming to mind, and I knew it was 4 letters and started with a Z.
Jedoc! I never saw the article about the ebay dirt jar. Ha! I totally forgot about the Dracula dirt though.
Hey Matt, I know a lot of others have alreaday told you how much you and your site are appreciated, but I am compelled to say the same. I rarely post because I choose to live vicariously through the absolutely hysterical mo fo’s who regularly post on the blog (and I could never match the hilarity, so I don’t bother). Anyway, Matt, at the end of the day, it’s your call, just know that you do provide us all with a service and have created a nice, completely loveable, and pleasantly dysfunctional online family. As long as you’re still writing the funniest damn articles on the planet, keep up the good work, and know that you’re appreciated. Thanks again! We love ya.
Chestnuts roasted by Bludge @ 04/11/2006 3:35 PM
I need some quick help. I have to write a paper about memorable movie quotes. I know if there is any group that can help me with some great ones, it is the bloggers of X-E.
Chestnuts roasted by Johnny @ 04/11/2006 3:51 PM
*swedish chef voice*
Zork zork, zork. Zork zork zork zork.
Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
What wouldst thou deau?
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/11/2006 4:02 PM
Johnny,
For movie quotes, go to http://www.imdb.com" target="_blank">IMDB. They’ve got a plethora of quotes on that site.
And, on topic, some one mentioned an online God program. It’s called http://www.titane.ca/igod/" target="_blank">iGod. It, too, is a quite hilarious upgrade from the good Dr. days.
Chestnuts roasted by eyeless @ 04/11/2006 4:08 PM
Johnny,
A few of my faves:
"Careful man, there’s a beverage here!"
"You’re wearing the shirt of the band you’re going to see? Don’t be that guy."
"If Laura and her bourgeois friends don’t like it, fuck ‘em, let ‘em riot. We’re Sonic fucking Death Monkey"
Chestnuts roasted by billthebutcher @ 04/11/2006 4:28 PM
Another…
"I was checking the specs for the in-line…on the rotary…girder…I’m retarded…"
Chestnuts roasted by billthebutcher @ 04/11/2006 4:33 PM
Nny: The top 100 movie quotes according to the http://www.filmsite.org/afi400quotes.html" target=none>American Film Institute, Those are just the nominees, but I linked to that page instead of the list itself because it includes a cluster of other links you might find useful. You want my advice, though, you can’t do much better than "You’re a godsend, a savior." "No, I’m a postman." Oh, Kevin Costner. You hurt so good.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 04/11/2006 4:39 PM
Oh, and they probably won’t appear on any of those lists, but don’t forget the brownies from Willow. Tiny French barbarians? Comedy gold.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 04/11/2006 4:41 PM
One more, a doozy:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!"
Chestnuts roasted by billthebutcher @ 04/11/2006 4:42 PM
I had no idea so many others were friends of the doctor. I’ve mentioned it before on IRC, in channels full of geeks who damn well ought to know Sbaitso, and usually get blank responses.
To whoever mentioned feeding him Arrested Development lyrics, any rap lyrics into any computer-voice-thingamadoo are comedy gold. Just give Microsoft Sam or anything else the lyrics of "Whoomp! There It Is!" and prepare for entertainment.
I know the SoundBlaster’s included software contained more than just Sbaitso, but I can’t recall the others, as I never used them nearly as often. I seem to remember one of them being an animated parrot that would repeat your text, which ran under Windows instead of DOS, but it never really worked as well and the parrot voice got old real quick.
Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 04/11/2006 4:50 PM
Wow, chatting with God is downright eerie….Gets very existential. Wish you could save the conversation.
Another couple of Java games that might be of interest: http://www.espgame.org/">The ESP Game http://www.peekaboom.org/">Peekaboom
Please note, I accept no responsibility if you play them endlessly instead of doing your taxes.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/11/2006 5:43 PM
Thank you Matt. I had never heard of Dr. sbaitso before. Now I have it and I have been laughing my ass off. So far the funniest thing in the office that we could come up with is Jules’ death speech from Pulp Fiction. "Say what again motherfucker" just sounds damn funny coming from the Doc.
Chestnuts roasted by Fishstix @ 04/11/2006 5:45 PM
Dr. Sbaitso keeps trying to change the subject to "SEXY STUFFS".:(
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 04/11/2006 5:55 PM
I think my favorite movie quote has to be: "I’ve got better things to do tonight than die."
I used to bust that one out ALL the time when my friends wanted me to do something exceptionally stupid. Considering how many hare-brained ideas my buddies had in high school and college, I said this one a LOT.
Two points and a hi-five go to the person who can name the movie and the character.
Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 04/11/2006 8:04 PM
We had a Tandy. I was in the 2nd grade. I asked him where babies came from. Bastard never told me.
Chestnuts roasted by Jill @ 04/11/2006 8:12 PM
I’m curiously relieved to find that I’m not the only one who cut my teeth on a Tandy. 640k of POWERRRRRRRR.
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Posted by Matt on 04/10/2006. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
Ah, the good Dr.
All I need is him and Zork, and my weekend is complete.
MAtt, all the work you do here is completely appreciated, and I think a whole bunch, if not the majority, of us, would be traumatized if something happened to this site. Seriously. I for one, and I will freely admit this, look forward to coming here everyday. I’m not crazy, I’m mentally stable, I have a great job, and a pretty great life overall, but coming to this sight is really a highlight to my day and has been for several years. At the minimum, it lets me know there are people out there that appreciate the same things I do.
Now that I’m in the sentimental mood, I need to get the Dr. to whisper sweet digitized nothings in my ear. …