I have the mushroom song on an old 5 1/5 floppy or on a tape or something, I was looking for it myself tonight on the ‘net and this thread is all thats turned up so far. It got me intersted in using the PC speaker as a PCM output device. There was an early win3.1 wave output device driver using the same technique, I devised a microphone input into the parallel port and played it back on the PCM device. Back in days gone by (early ’90s) when I had more time to play on my old XT class 8MHz PC. gosh how things have changed in just a few years.
Ghosted by djrm @ 10/26/2006 5:47 PM EDT
The mushroom song caused a sensation – it was the first time either me or any of my friends had ever heard “real” sound through a computer speaker – even though it was so fuzzy. I was just thinking of the song this morning – it comes back to me every now and then – and tried to look for it on the net. Likewise, the only thing that comes up is this thread. Does anyone out there have it or know where to find it? I would be really disproportionately keen to find it!
Ghosted by Ger @ 11/30/2006 12:39 PM EST
oh man, Dr. Spaitso LOL, it has been a while since I thought about this program. It’s hilarious to me that your experience was exactly the same as mine: try to get him to “help” you, get annoyed at his answers, ask him about sex, swear at him until a parity error, then make him “say” bad shit. God, hours of mindless entertainment on my 386DX33 (see, my dad spent EXTRA on a “DX” so I was soooo much faster than a 386SX which stood for “sux” in my mind)
I’ll never forget his intro text:
“Hello Justin, I am Doctor Spaitso. I am here to helllp you. Say whatever comes into your mind freelllly. your answers will be kept in strict connnfidence. So tell me about your problllems.”
then my favorite thing to make him say:
say “Shall we play a GAME?”
man, I could never get his voice to sound like that computer in the movie Wargames
Ghosted by Justin @ 12/14/2006 6:17 PM EST
While I didn’t know Dr. Sbaitso personally, I am familiar with similar programs from the time. I’m also very familiar with the social awkwardness of us teens from back in those days who somehow just got how these new fangled computer things worked. I randomly “stumbled upon” this article and it really spoke to me. Thanks for the great writing and bittersweet memories of a socially inept youth.
Ghosted by TrickNeal @ 01/26/2007 2:58 PM EST
This is HILARIOUS. I came by this post via StumbleUpon and immediately downloaded the app for instant laughs, this is especially prescient because of Michael’s synth vox hilarity on a recent episode of “The Office”. Also “sexy stuffs” reminds me of Borat. My life is measurably better as a result of this find, you rawk dawg!!1!!
Ghosted by Doc @ 01/27/2007 12:53 AM EST
ahhh .. so many memories. i used to swear at him alot too.
The “mushroom song” was originally in fact a TV advert for an air freshener here in Australia, (and probably other countries too.) For the time, of 4.77MHz XT PC’s (about 1988 this was I think) it seemed quite an achievement to get music out of a speaker that could only be turned on or off. (I later learned more about PWM pulse width modulation). Along came viruses, and virus checkers. Some of the early virus checkers would(as well as warning of viruses) also note programs of humor. I’m not sure in the end whether there were some versions of the mushroom song that actually got a virus; or; if a later virus checker just bundled all the entries of the previous virus checker and called *all* of them viruses. At any rate it never told what or how it’s payload was replicated.
Ghosted by gr8m8 @ 02/01/2007 4:49 AM EST
wow! i never thought i’d see a blog about this! hahaha. I used to love playing with this and then my roommates in college got a kick out of it when I brought my old computer in.
Ghosted by paul casella @ 02/05/2007 1:06 AM EST
this has got to be one of the funniest things i have ever read in my entire life. thank you for all the laughs:)
Ghosted by dan @ 02/08/2007 1:02 PM EST
i love dr. sbaitso. he completes me.
Ghosted by philihp @ 02/16/2007 3:13 PM EST
I also LOVED this program. The good doctor was better than any self-help book. He was more helpful than a real shrink as well. Thank you for proving that there are countless others of my generation who squandered their youth in a basement behind a computer…talking to the early 90s version of an imaginary friend. I feel a lot less freakish now.
Plus…Dr. Sbaitso was WAY better than Prody the Parot.
I hope you never get tired of the site Matt, or at least not for a looooong while. I love it, it’s one of the few places where I find something that actually makes me laugh out loud. I specially love the old movie reviews you used to make and all the articles about crap you buy.
I’d never heard about Dr Sbaitso before, but I’m having a blast with it, specially since no one at home can understand a word of English! Thanx!
Ghosted by Axia @ 03/18/2007 12:10 AM EST
There was a way to get Dr. Sbaitso to read a txt file, not just “SAY” something. I remember doing it but can’t remember how. Do you know the command?
Ghosted by Clare @ 04/11/2007 12:47 AM EDT
Best conversation went like this
ME> I am Gay
SBAITSO> I AM GAY TOO
ME> Wanna do it
SBAITSO> TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE SEXY STUFFS
ME> I take off my pants
SBAITSO> THAT IS QUITE INTRESTING
ME> I can’t go any further
SBAITSO> WHAT IS STOPPING YOU
ME> I’m really nervous
SBAITSO> Since when have you been really nervous
ME> Well i guess i can try
SBAITSO> HOORAY! MIKE CAN TRY!
Most ownage conversation ever!
Ghosted by MB @ 04/27/2007 5:08 AM EDT
HAHA. My friends and i did similar shit to SmarterChild!!
we have no livess.
Ghosted by Emily @ 05/14/2007 12:07 AM EDT
I remember a more updated version of the good Dr. but I can’t recall it’s been so long! I used to actually remember having Prody on the system as well and they’d BANTER back and forth. It was creepy and in a sense enthralling! I want that version of Dr. Sbaitso back but it’s disappeared off the face of the world.
Ghosted by Tesa @ 06/29/2007 5:35 AM EDT
What a great article! it’s funny–I guess because I was a pre-teen before the internets really took off, I sort of assumed I was the only one spending long afternoons ‘talking’ to dr. sbaitso and trying to get the cat to chase a 20-sided die. Seems lonely, looking back, but you take what you can get at that point in life.
You didn’t mention my favorite sbaitso word: ‘craz’. Tell him he’s a real craz a few times, and he was all ‘banana-na-na-na?’
Ghosted by jared @ 09/29/2008 4:30 PM EDT
I thought no one else remembered this!
Ghosted by zerothdegree @ 09/30/2008 1:29 AM EDT
Just think I get the SB pro in 1995 before windows for workgroup 3.11 make this program running in runtime error… Meanwhile i was never be able to reproduce the color error, it’s worst than parity error, it tell you runtime error and dump you on command prompt after… It’s lying around making the computer confusing by putting to much question on the same line… Like any elephant-start being interrogate by the journalist during a loosy campaing. For those mature and can handle perl it’s 3 lines of text and I take 3 hours to shop around the same Sbaitso look like, and it can remember !!! you can compromise and say future moment will be discussed later… Probably more attempting than and girly you fuck with, just say no to Henry and sally a duo-talker in perl, just take time ( or decade in your way ) to take cpan shell and install Chatbot::Alpha the core of sbaitso and but plug it with voice-recognition if you mom can stand your fake voice and stupid answer, you’ll probably be buy by a hollywod-spy-moves…
Ghosted by Maxiste @ 10/09/2008 1:50 AM EDT
Been coming to X-E for years now, first time I’ve commented though. Even though I never new the good Dr. in 92 I downloaded him and he is hours of endless entertainment. I’m an old man at 33, (34 next week) and I grew up on the VIC 20,Commodore 64 and Amiga and various gaming systems like ATARI,Odessey,Nintendo and Sega Genesis. Hearing Sbaitso’s voice brought back so many memories of my early computer days, even though in 92 I was a junior in high school. I remember Lemonade stand from elementary school as well and a game called Oregon Trail. Sbaitso’s voice kind of reminded me of one of my favorite old school C64 games called Impossible Mission (Mission Impossible??)LOVED that game as well as ARCHON, Spy Hunter and ZAXXON. Matt you really opened up the flood gates w/ this article so I had to comment.Keep up the great work w/ X-E.
I miss chatting with Dr. Sbaitso. He was so much fun.
Ghosted by Glynnis @ 05/30/2009 5:37 PM EDT
I would have loved to have this program on our computer growing up! I was stuck with damn Chessmaster 2000 and some weird Emergency Room Game that I never quite figured out how to play. Sbaitso would have made my day!
I love that I have been reading this article at work and several people have looked at me weird as I busted out laughing over and over. Great article!
Ghosted by Ben @ 06/18/2009 4:52 PM EDT
I’m almost positive the good doctor’s voice was used in the TV show “The Bots Master,” filling the role of all the dumb bad-guy robots.
Of course, I wouldn’t have known this without X-E cluing me into Sbaitso!
Ran across the SBAITSO program – and your website – while looking for info on it’s well-known companion “Talking Parrot”…oh the wonderful things you randomly stumble across on the Internet.
Downloaded, ran on my XP machine, and laughed myself silly. Will probably stay up part of the night at least having loads of fun with this old program.
For anyone reading this I highly suggest this excellent page (which I ran across just tonight as well) on PC sound card history with an amazing amount of documentation, including the famed “Magic Mushroom” commercial that utilized the PC speaker.
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Posted by Matt. 
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I have the mushroom song on an old 5 1/5 floppy or on a tape or something, I was looking for it myself tonight on the ‘net and this thread is all thats turned up so far. It got me intersted in using the PC speaker as a PCM output device. There was an early win3.1 wave output device driver using the same technique, I devised a microphone input into the parallel port and played it back on the PCM device. Back in days gone by (early ’90s) when I had more time to play on my old XT class 8MHz PC. gosh how things have changed in just a few years.