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Sea My Monkeys.

I think the real question is, "How many hours can I waste at work each day staring at my amazing live Sea-Monkeys?"

I love them, I really do. The "Sea-Monkeys On Mars" kit has been sitting on my shelf unopened since my first week on the job almost two years ago, but certain recent bouts of ennui and dementia and something-something forced my hands under the seal, and next thing I knew, bam, Sea-Monkeys on the desk. I won't bore you with the specific details on how it works or how they hatch or how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE the tiny packets full of eggs, food and miracle plasma, but suffice to say, it's been over a week since they hatched and over a week since I fell in love with a monkey named Sea.

The tiny shrimp are fascinating creatures; they're small, but with remarkable pronounced features like black dot eyes, constantly fanning backs and tails just long enough to make you think you own more Sea-Monkeys than you actually do. And they're constantly moving. Not just boring, "whirl around the tank" movements, either; their paths are totally erratic and totally awesome, and as they seem to grow in size and numbers by the day, I feel okay about selling my television and reserving Family Night Entertainment for the up-and-coming Sea-Monkey Show.

Best of all, I don't have to feel guilty about them being in the office; they'll actually flourish better here than they would at home. See, Sea-Monkeys love light. Loooove it. And they get plenty of it here, as opposed to home, where we tack blankets up over the windows and read alchemy books by candlelight. While they do require some attention otherwise (feeding 'em, keeping their water oxygenated, etc.), you'd have to be a fucking idiot to screw up a Sea-Monkey. They don't ask for much. Just a little food, some water and light, and a blog post written on company time. Take that, The Man.

Posted by Matt on 04/06/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 99 comments

Off-topic: I was watching Bernie Mac tonite and they mentioned something called "brown Kool-Aid" where you mix purple KA with orange KA to make the brown KA. Has anyone here done this?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 04/08/2006 12:40 PM

I’m tired of the term "Kong Sized" anyone else? maybe i just watch too much tv…So John Lovitz is in a Subway commercial and Bench Warmers at the moment. Kinda sad…he was much better suited as a SNL member because he could play a good variety of characters. Yes I know he had dollar signs in his eyes when he left but what SNL cast members really have been THAT successful? I’d say Sandler has made some stupid movies but he always finds a way to put on a show. He has strayed away from yelling all the time and using that voice he uses when he sang those songs on SNL in the early 90′s. Bill Murray has lasted playing essentially the same character in almost all of his movies (his most recent movie are an exception). I mean its crazy that Bill Murray wins an oscar and Jamie Foxx from In Living Color won the best actor oscar. He did a great job in Ray so don’t think I’m taking that away from him, but when i look at him I think of the character WandA

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 04/08/2006 1:21 AM

In Living Color breeds Oscar nominees. Jim Carrey’s been nominated twice, and he was that steroid-popping weight lifter.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 04/08/2006 7:34 AM

phunqsauce: I find your lack of faith…kongsturbing.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 04/08/2006 8:18 AM

JLAJRC
Tamarind (it’s a Mexican flavor)Kool-Aid is brown. That’s the closest I’ve gotten.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 04/08/2006 10:15 AM

With the Superman movie on deck, now’s the time to make a Sea Monkey tank in the shape of the bottle city of Kandor. Or the Empire State Building, with Kong on top, looking like he’s swatting at the Monkeys.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/08/2006 2:34 PM

As a result of this blog entry, I have now ordered the Executive Set and the Magicquarium. I’ve never had Sea Monkeys befor, but they look like they make good decoration for my desk.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 04/08/2006 5:30 PM

Oh man….i *love* Sea Monkeys! I’ve had about 4 seperate tanks over my lifetime. Two tanks ago lasted about a year. I had generation spawn another generation etc. They’d just die and form a unsightly build-up of carcasses…but those suckers *thrived*! I was sad to see only one remaining after so long.
The last tank I had had an unfortunate demise. I was moving apartments and thought…yeah, the Sea Monkeys will do just fine on the seat next to me in the car. Well, they didn’t. I Sea Monkey water and squirming little shrimps everywhere. Please, for the sake of Sea Monkeys everywhere….put them in one spot and let them remain there.

Chestnuts roasted by Allygator @ 04/08/2006 5:47 PM

Oh yeah, I remember that Growing Crystals thing. My Uncle got one for both my brother and I each. I remember it having the decor of a polluted sea (i.e. tire, grimy sea floor, ugly fish, all made of molded plastic of course). As further decoration, you had a little fisherman sitting on a dock that you could attach along one of the top edges. Basically, you just added this toxic chemical to the water.

Well, both of ours worked (thanks to the help of our Mom), but my brother, being the curiuosly destructive little bastard that he was, decided to see what would happen if he were to break the grown chutes of the crystals in his tank. They didn’t grow back. And so in an upset rage, my brother fucked up my tank as well.

My brother has always had a reputation for wrecking stuff, which is why I stil won’t let him play with my NES.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 04/08/2006 5:58 PM

no sat. night thread?? Where is everyone??

Chestnuts roasted by mike the great @ 04/09/2006 12:05 PM

Drunk.

Well, at least that’s where I am.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 04/09/2006 12:23 PM

I’m with you, Mystie! I’m bummed there’s no SNT…my poker night ended early, so I thought I would pop on the blog…damn. *sniff* Oh well- hopefully Matt is having a good night, wherever he is, and whatever he is consuming.

As for me, this has been my first time drinking beer in 3 weeks. I forgot how good it is.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 04/09/2006 12:27 PM

i just got home from work…lol

Chestnuts roasted by mike the great @ 04/09/2006 12:31 PM

I guess this is the April fools? Maybe? Happy Saturday.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 04/09/2006 12:39 PM

It’s like a ghost town here tonight-never seen X-E so quiet….

Chestnuts roasted by Mike the Great @ 04/09/2006 12:55 PM

I sure feel the fool meanwhile I went to http://www.petiononline.com/future2 and signed a petion so Nike will make some sneakers like Marty McFly wore in the Back to the Future II
and I say feel free to post drunk it can be kinda funny, just don’t post like 10 times cause of it.

Chestnuts roasted by mrjayberry @ 04/09/2006 1:02 AM

Anybody watch Little People, Big World on Saturday nights? It’s about a family where the parents and one of the kids are little people…The dad played an Ewok in one of the Endor sequels.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/09/2006 1:13 AM

I’ve spent almost all day reinstalling programs and shit on my computer. My old ass scanner keeps encountering "fatal errors" and popping up messages like every 3 minutes. Ugh. This is exhausting, but I have things I really need to scan. Grah. Sleep.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 04/09/2006 1:18 AM

not drunk but, def not low.

still a wack saturday, a nite of 70s funk/porn/cartoon instrumental music making – cuz that’s just what i do

Chestnuts roasted by doc bong @ 04/09/2006 1:21 AM

Sigh no SNT.

Anyway, has anyone tried Coke Blak? The grocery near my apt was selling four bottles for 1.99 so I picked some up. They’re not yet cold, but once they are all post my thoughts.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 04/09/2006 1:24 AM

Eddie I tried it. The first sip is gross, but then as you get a taste of the "coffee essence" you become sort of immune.

Then it just tastes like diet coke with some instant coffee mixed in. I’m not a fan.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Boligarky @ 04/09/2006 1:29 AM

Whoah that sounds really freaking gross. I don’t even like coffee, so I’m not too pumped to beging with. I pretty much bought it because I thought it was an energy drink, but then realized it’s more of a flavor thing. Thanks for the heads up. It’s almost cold so soon I can share in your pain.

P.S. I meant "all are I’ll" in the first post. Try saying that 10 times fast. There’s no frigg’n way!

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 04/09/2006 1:35 AM

try saying "once they all are I’ll" 10 times fast – the extra words means it’s extra catchier

Chestnuts roasted by doc bong @ 04/09/2006 1:38 AM

Yeah, it’s gross. Another way I could describe it is like if you took coffee-flavored jelly beans, and mashed them up into your diet coke. That’s pretty accurate (and awful) I think.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Boligarky @ 04/09/2006 1:47 AM

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 6th, 2006 at 6:35 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.