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Sea My Monkeys.

I think the real question is, "How many hours can I waste at work each day staring at my amazing live Sea-Monkeys?"

I love them, I really do. The "Sea-Monkeys On Mars" kit has been sitting on my shelf unopened since my first week on the job almost two years ago, but certain recent bouts of ennui and dementia and something-something forced my hands under the seal, and next thing I knew, bam, Sea-Monkeys on the desk. I won't bore you with the specific details on how it works or how they hatch or how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE the tiny packets full of eggs, food and miracle plasma, but suffice to say, it's been over a week since they hatched and over a week since I fell in love with a monkey named Sea.

The tiny shrimp are fascinating creatures; they're small, but with remarkable pronounced features like black dot eyes, constantly fanning backs and tails just long enough to make you think you own more Sea-Monkeys than you actually do. And they're constantly moving. Not just boring, "whirl around the tank" movements, either; their paths are totally erratic and totally awesome, and as they seem to grow in size and numbers by the day, I feel okay about selling my television and reserving Family Night Entertainment for the up-and-coming Sea-Monkey Show.

Best of all, I don't have to feel guilty about them being in the office; they'll actually flourish better here than they would at home. See, Sea-Monkeys love light. Loooove it. And they get plenty of it here, as opposed to home, where we tack blankets up over the windows and read alchemy books by candlelight. While they do require some attention otherwise (feeding 'em, keeping their water oxygenated, etc.), you'd have to be a fucking idiot to screw up a Sea-Monkey. They don't ask for much. Just a little food, some water and light, and a blog post written on company time. Take that, The Man.

Posted by Matt on 04/06/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 99 comments

OK just drank it. It wasn’t as bad as I had hoped/feared. As you said, Mr. Boligarky, it tastes like coffee-flavored jelly beans. If you ate like 4 coffee jelly bellies and 6 Dr. Pepper jelly bellies at the same time you’d essentially recreate the flavor. I think I’ll stick to Monster energy for my caffeine fix. Anyway, it was a cool experiment for Saturday night.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 04/09/2006 2:01 AM

well u live and u learn. there’s always a new soda out there to warp your senses with.

me i’ll stick to the mind altering substances

Chestnuts roasted by doc bong @ 04/09/2006 2:15 AM

Speaking of new soul killing soft drinks, has anyone else tried the new berry Dr. Pepper? It’s just unpleasant.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 04/09/2006 3:33 AM

I’ve tried the Diet Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper, and I kind of liked it. It takes a little for the flavor to hit.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 04/09/2006 6:59 AM

Nobody should feel this bad in the morning after having had so little fun the night before. Screw you, sand court volleyball.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 04/09/2006 9:05 AM

I like drinking weird soda. I have a 6-pack of Vault sitting at my desk at work. My job has become 70% answering e-mails from idiots that don’t know how to shop online, so I needz my caffeine and I’m not a huge coffee person. I totally have to try this Coke Blak as I was totally in love with Pepsi Kona. Ahh… I love all the new product craziness in the soda biz. If I had a working car I’d totally go try all this new stuff out. Hm. Maybe I should go seen if the engine will be nice to me now…

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 04/09/2006 10:34 AM

This is my 4th day without soda of any kind… The 2nd day was horrible, but I’m over the "withdrawl" period, thank God.

I bought some of the Kool-Aid "singles" – little packets of Kool-Aid with sugar already in it that make an 8oz glass. They have been my saviors when I thought I would go insane.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 04/09/2006 12:41 PM

The Kool-Aid singles are fantastic. Eat one. It’s totally great.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 04/09/2006 12:43 PM

I kind of want to try this Coke Black stuff, but I’ve been busy dying for the last week. Not literally (sorry to disappoint you) but I’ve been super sick. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to smoke another cigarrette- even the thought of one kind of makes me nauseuous now, and I’ve been a smoker for ten years. It’s been over a week now, and I don’t have any cravings. Also, I think I’ve lost a bunch of weight, since I have barely eaten for a week and my clothes fit looser.

As a way of getting healthy, being sick is not recommended, but I think I’m going to end up in better shape than before once I finally feel better. Now if I could just eat something more than a fruit cup.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 04/09/2006 1:06 PM

Jedoc was Kenny Loggins "Playing with the Boys" somehow involved. Please say yes.

Chestnuts roasted by mrjayberry @ 04/09/2006 3:43 PM

Wow spaz good on ya for the break from smoking! Keep it up, you’ve already come so far, you can totally see it through!
What I think I hate most about being a filfy smoka is being sick and knowing full well that smoking will just make it worse and last even longer but you do it anyway because you’re a slave to a tube of paper stuffed with poisons that will eventually do you a lot worse than the little case of the sniffles you’re currently whinging about. Maybe that’s just me though.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/09/2006 3:51 PM

squee-

I certainly don’t intend to be one of those ex-smokers who looks down their nose at those "filthy smokers". Heck, I’m still not sure if I’ll be able to stick with this once I feel good. I know that I’m going to be sitting on the front porch some spring/summer evening and the urge is going to finally hit- bad. I think if I can get through an evening of reading outside with a beer in one hand without smoking, that will be the absolute toughest challenge. There’s just something about the combo of languid breezes, a good book, a brew, and a cigarrette or pipe.

I will admit to feeling annoyed when I had to walk past someone at a local fast food place who was on his smoke break. Maybe this is a good sign.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 04/09/2006 5:30 PM

I dont think I’ve EVER checked a site so many times in one day hoping for an update…I swear, this has to be the 18th time ive checked…
JoshC

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 04/09/2006 6:22 PM

Heh, I’ve been doing the same thing, Josh. I’m like 90% sure Matt’s not going to do an article this weekend, but I keep thinking, "Well maybe he’ll do a Kool-Aid or cereal thing…" I guess I just need a distraction from the all the scanning and encoding and photographing and writing and everything I’ve been doing. ^_^

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 04/09/2006 7:16 PM

For the record, I tried the Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper. It reminded me of those swirly life saver candies..oh, yeah Creme Savers. I would probably drink it again, if I went to the store and said, "Hey I think I want to drink Creme Savers." But I would not drink it if I actually wanted Dr. Pepper.

As for Coke "Blak", I haven’t tasted it and I don’t plan to. And they put a line over the "a" which means "long a sound" so it technically should be pronounced like "blake", but it’s obviously supposed to be like "black". What were they thinking? I don’t know why that really annoys me.

Chestnuts roasted by LuLu @ 04/09/2006 8:32 PM

Mystie, JoshC, me too. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Matt will give us a Sunday night thread. Won’t be Saturday, but I’ve got nothing important to do tonight. Well, other than writing an article for my site, but the Hostess cakes are starting to make me sick.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 04/09/2006 8:41 PM

I’ve started to love sea monkeys :)

Chestnuts roasted by Yelinna @ 04/09/2006 9:26 PM

There’ve been a number of Sunday article posts. And Sopranos ends soon, so there’s always hope ;)

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/09/2006 9:38 PM

Lulu, I thought the same thing about "Blak"! My coworkers didnh’t get it at all. Idiots.

And since I don’t drink soda or smoke, I have nothing to add.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 04/10/2006 12:35 PM

I used to have Sea Monkeys on my desk too. Loved them!

Be sure no one tries to turn them upside down. People tend to think they work like a snow globe. =(

Chestnuts roasted by Merry @ 04/11/2006 11:31 AM

I almost forgot: If your sea monkeys happen to die, I’m pretty sure you can stir up the water and they will come back to life. (If I remember correctly) Have fun!

Chestnuts roasted by Merry @ 04/11/2006 11:38 AM

this brings back memories.good times good times.:)

Chestnuts roasted by robo bot @ 04/12/2006 10:32 AM

Sea monkeys… Yum yum lunchtime

Chestnuts roasted by Reid @ 04/12/2006 9:40 PM

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 6th, 2006 at 6:35 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.