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Of Coffee and Kool-Aid.

Whoa ho hey, sorry for the lack of me lately.  I've either been busy or in prolonged "why are we here" moods, neither of which makes me particularly fun to hang out with.  Massive freelance week -- did a movie review for Box Office Magazine, then wrote up my first "ongoing" ToyFare assignment, the "Free Toys" sidebar in the price guide section, which will now draw heavily from my immense collection of cereal premiums.  I knew they'd come in handy.  Everything related to cereal eventually does.  I also celebrated something or another by buying myself a new laptop.  Not a particularly good one, but I wanted something lightweight so I could write on the go.  Should've held out for a two-pounder, but carrying around my mighty five-pounder may finally provide me the shoulder definition I've so long hoped for.

It's always fun to write on a new computer.  It's like how everyone always does better in school during the first ten pages of a new notebook.  You're all into it and stuff.  I think it's transcended to the digital generation, because I feel more capable of WORDS WORDS WORDS than I have for at least a month.  Or, it could just be the coffee.


The sweet, sweet coffee that I thank my deity for every night before sacrificing a chicken.  I'm here for a reason, folks.  The Kool-Aid Section has been updated, finally with something that isn't seventy years old: Switchin' Secret, a flavor that starts one way, ends another way, and manages to end again in an another way entirely.  See it while you can.

Posted by Matt on 03/29/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 74 comments

Hey Matt, I have to agree. That Mushroom Scepter he is holding is amazing. Not as amazing as my own personal Mushroom Scepter, and probably not as engorged, but still amazing.

Separately, are there any Kool-Aid flavors that you’ve always wanted to try, but you never have? Ya know, like Sharkelberry Fin?! Which I know you have, but that was an example.

Chestnuts roasted by Dixon Deeper @ 03/30/2006 4:26 PM

Hey Matt, Sorry for the lack of context. The Mushroom Scepter is the one that is on the mug in the above picture.

My own Mushroom Scepter… well, let’s just say that your cup would runneth over. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Dixon Deeper @ 03/30/2006 4:29 PM

I’m very happy right now. Just got 3 unopened packets of Purplesaurus Rex in the mail today. At least one will be framed and immediately hung up on a wall. Time to make a good rex recipie using grape and lemonade. Or should I have some Sharkleberry Fin. Haven’t had that one in a while but I need to conserve the packets (I only have 18 left and they aren’t easy to find!) Matt, do you sort your kool-aid out like I do? Like one section will be Rare/Discontinued section, Twists section, and Regular Section. Or do you smash ‘em into one big ol’ pile and smell the fruity goodness?

Chestnuts roasted by Ghoul-Aid Man @ 03/30/2006 4:34 PM

I got a good stupid food moment! I came home to eat lunch and let my keys end up inaccessible and now have to wait for the locksmith. So, on the bright side, I have the afternoon off, but on the downside, my boss hates me. *Charlie Brown groan of frustration* At least the coffee was good this morning.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/30/2006 4:39 PM

Can I make a formal request to stop with all the talk about "Mushroom Scepters?" It sounds suspiciously like we’re drifting into innuendo territory, and presently that makes me uncomfortable.

(I’m no prude, and I’ve certainly made my fair share of off-color allusions, but it just doesn’t feel right here and now.)

…or maybe I just have a dirty mind.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 03/30/2006 4:54 PM

Finally, I have for you, the long-awated PURPLESAURUS REX RECIPE! It tastes just like the actual thing and I compared it with my pitcher of real purplesaurus rex and there were almost no differences. Both colors were EXACTLY the same. The recipie:
1/2 tsp of Grape Kool-aid
1/2 tsp of Lemonade Kool-aid
1 cup of sugar
Mix/Stir/Shake
Enjoy one refreshing glass o’ Purplesaurus Rex! I strongly advise to accurately measure the teaspoons and cups to get the most accurate taste. Don’t gulp the whole 2 quarts in one serving. It’s tempting but don’t.

Chestnuts roasted by Ghoul-aid Man @ 03/30/2006 5:13 PM

I tried the whole water and cereal bit. I believe it was with Frosted Flakes. Of the more dumb things in my youth, I had this deal where nearly every night before bed I made myself, I shit you not, a KETCHUP sandwich and had it with a glass of Nestle’s Quik back when it was known as such. I distinctly remember it was white bread and Heinz ketchup. I would dip the damn thing IN the chocolate milk and eat it. Then drank the rest of the milk. I don’t have the balls to do that nowadays, but I’ve been tempted for old time’s sake. I’d probably only do it on a dare, though.

And speaking of ketchup, I hated Hunt’s way back when…didn’t taste like ketchup at all.

On another side note, it’s pretty amusing to see what effect psycho-associations have with what we can or can’t eat nowadays because of unpleasantness. I actually have never seen The Wizard, either. It’s on my list of many – release it on DVD, damn you!

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 03/30/2006 5:20 PM

Also, I used to love ketchup as a kid, then I grew to like mustard when older. I like mustard better on stuff now than ketchup. Total 360o moment in my life.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 03/30/2006 5:25 PM

My stupid food moment actually ended with my clinical death. You know how you used to suck the Jello off the spoon with gusto and zeal? Well, apparently I had just a touch too much zeal when I was two, and I ended up coating my lungs with Jello. So they rush me to the hospital, I’m Code Blue, they shock me with the paddles, good times. I had to spend two weeks at the hospital in a hyper-oxygenated clear plastic tent while my lungs healed. Like ET. But hey, at least I got a Donald Duck mug and a pez dispenser shaped like a truck.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 03/30/2006 6:07 PM

Jedoc
That was the most amazing story ever. Or an early April Fools joke. I love finger Jell-O, like the kind you’d get at lunch in school. Not as suckable as the regular.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/30/2006 6:40 PM

I was reminded by this article of middle school when it was cool to eat Kool-Aid powder in the raw. You had to mix it with sugar and keep a little baggy of it on you at all times like a young crack addict.

It was tasty, but since we usually ate it secretly in class by dipping our fingers in the bag you’d end up with the tips of your fingers stained.

For some reason I particularly remember doing this while watching an anti-drug video where a bad actor was recreating an acid trip gone wrong. . . and laughing all the way through it. Then again how seriously can you take someone dressed in a tuxedo screaming "The walls are melting!" Bad acting made me smile even at that tender age.

I laughed all the way through the video about puberty too, and got yelled at for it by the health teacher.

Chestnuts roasted by vermaxen @ 03/30/2006 7:18 PM

I’m so sad that I just got the chance to read the new Kool-Aid article now. Things on my end have just been complete and utter shit lately. *sigh*

Though I must say, I do oddly enough have a habit of reading X-E without my clothes on. I’ve somehow made a morning ritual of waking up, taking a shower, and then sitting in front of my computer in my towel and seeing what was posted on the blog while I was sleeping.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/30/2006 9:12 PM

I actually have never seen The Wizard, either. It’s on my list of many – release it on DVD, damn you!

Isn’t that a damn shame? Somehow we can get a "Collector’s Edition" DVD of Street Fighter: The Movie, but Universal can’t slap together a Wizard disc for us.

And so help me god, if they ever do, I *demand* a Fred Savage commentary track. "This is the part where I touched her breast."

Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/30/2006 10:03 PM

Come to think of it, it wasn’t Savage’s character who "touched her breast," was it?

Oh well, I’m sure he did it off-camera. That’s how Savage rolls.

Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/30/2006 10:10 PM

Nobody gets any breast in that movie. She screams it as a distraction to keep the bad men away.

The most action Savage gets in that movie is a kiss on the cheek…and WARP WHISTLE ACTION, via his brother Jimmy!

(Come on! There is no way anybody could have solved the "drop through the white block" thing on their first run through the first level of SMB3!)

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/30/2006 10:33 PM

Yeah, there was definitely no instances of breast-getting in The Wizard. The kiss was sweet, but I always got so pissed off when she kissed Jimmy, too. When she kissed Savage, it was romance. When she kissed Jimmy, it was platonic "glad to be yer friend" bullshit, which worked retroactively and turned Savage’s kiss into NADAFINGA.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/30/2006 10:46 PM

Yeah well someone needs to get on that Wizard breast-touching thing poste-haste. They just need to get together the crew from Edward Penishands and change costumes or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/30/2006 11:09 PM

I’d call those some "pour" quality animated .gifs of kool-aid. I kill me

Chestnuts roasted by Danno @ 03/31/2006 3:07 AM

You guys know that that chick from The Wizard is in a band along with Pinsky from Salute your Shorts? They kinda suck but its just so cool that they’re made up of two people from our nostalgia.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 03/31/2006 10:32 AM

Hey Rhino… Sorry for pointing out the "mushroom scepter" thing… I meant nothing dirty… Just thought it was funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 03/31/2006 12:45 PM

As a person who loves the Wizard so much that I showed it to my students at high school so THEY could know the magic, too…yeah RELEASE IT ON DVD DAMMIT!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/31/2006 5:34 PM

Is that a box of WWF cereal in the background? Never heard of the stuff before but thats what I could make out from the text. I expect a lengthy review of said cereal in the future if it indeed exists.

Chestnuts roasted by Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp @ 03/31/2006 9:09 PM

And a classic Christmas Story reference from Matt in the comments!

Chestnuts roasted by Dane @ 04/05/2006 9:14 AM

My stupid food moment was when I was about 11. My friends and I were taking turns mixing whatever we found in the fridge into the most vile drinks we could imagine. Whoever wasn’t mixing had to drink. I think we all wound up throwing up before that game was over.

Vermaxen, I’m glad I wasn’t the only kid in the world that did the powdered Kool-Aid thing. My parents got totally pissed at me for doing it, though. They said it made me look dirty and low-class. Sadly, they stopped buying me Kool-Aid, and I missed out on all the flavors after Berry Blue. I really need to look up some recipies to re-create those old flavors! Suggestions of where to look, anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by Kieran Alexis @ 04/09/2006 2:11 AM

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