"You geet an Eff!" –German woman

Whenever the subject of "annoying commercials" comes up, it’s inevitable that the latest overdone effort from Partnership from a Drug-Free America is mentioned. Or the Truth psychos. I don’t smoke or generally approve of it, but dang…if the target wasn’t tobacco they wouldn’t be allowed to mudsling this far.

Don’t make bad choices, kids, or a giant elephant will apparently step on you!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 03/22/2006 4:03 AM

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WOW, I have no idea a "Secret of the Sword" trailer existed. I don’t think it appears in any of the BCI DVD sets. Great coup!

And the McDLT… man, my mouth is watering just looking at the screen cap on your site!

I finally found a local source for those Shamrock Shakes. The day before St. Pats, I went into a local McD’s, my heart full of hopelessness, and asked the absolutely mammoth woman behind the counter, "You don’t have Shamrock Shakes anymore do you"? With an annoyed expression, looking me like I asked if McDonald’s served hamburgers, she said "Uhh, yes…" I quickly ordered a large (at a cost of $3.50, geesh!), and left. My heart happy and full of joy because I got my Shamrock Shake, and relived some favorite memories bought back to me by Matt’s website.

The kicker though? There was NO advertising for the shakes, none on TV, no shamrocks inside the restaurant, there wasn’t even a mention of them on the menu board! There was NO record of them at all! I never asked before, so I assumed they didn’t have them. What’s up with that? Anyone else had the same experience in a McDs?

Chestnuts roasted by Destro @ 03/22/2006 6:08 AM

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My least favorite commercials are those fat-burning pill commercials. Basically everything they say is viciously misleading. Like the fact that "it’s so powerful it was granted a U.S. patent." Considering there’s also a patent on the books for a "Scented Doll With the Appearance of an Aged Person," that’s not terribly impressive. And then there’s the whole "Warning: this product is so powerful it will actually make you lose body fat. Only order if you want to lose body fat." It’s like Cingular making a commercial with the tagline "Warning: this product is so powerful it will actually connect and exchange audio information with other phones. Only order this product if you wish to exchange audio information with other phones." And all the badly-emoting people exclaiming about how they didn’t eat right, didn’t exercise, and still lost weight. They actually refer to it is a "magic pill." It just drives me crazy. I mean, these people are still going to kill themselves from cholesterol poisoning and heart disease and diabetes and all the other problems you get with obesity, but hey at least they get to wear smaller pants am I right?

So sorry. I think I’d better go lie down for a while.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 03/22/2006 7:47 AM

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Kidneyboy –
I read stuff people have written and want to pay to get published, so it’s like a literary magazine rejects festival.

These ghetto fabulous ones are always the same. Last night’s was about a dude who gets out of jail, goes on a huge shopping spree because his friends are loaded, then decides to try to keep things clean. Well, of course he or one of his friends get mixed up in some bad business with drugs or thugs, and they end up fleeing the country. The main character also bangs several chicks along the way.

Doesn’t it sound awesome?

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 03/22/2006 9:22 AM

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Also, on Saturday mornings, I remember being really bummed out when Looney Tunes would come on, because I knew that was the last cartoon of the morning.

I wholeheartedly agree. Saturdays at our house were cleaning days, and as soon as the cartoons were over we had to get to work. I remember that I never really enjoyed the Looney Tunes, but I watched them anyway to postpone the inevitable. I once said to my husband, "Remember how bummed you’d be when Looney Tunes came on and you knew Saturday morning was over?" He said, "No, I loved Looney Tunes! I looked forward to it!" I hate it when that happens.

On the topic of the "I Love The…" specials, they should make more of an effort to find people who actually CARE about this stuff. My favorite moments are the ones where usually-cool celebrities see something and almost flip out. "Oh my gosh, I totally had these!" and then they start enthusiastically telling some story from their youth regarding said item. That’s so much better than these pseudo-comedians trying to look cool by pointing out how stupid the stuff we loved was. It’s ironic that the shows named "I Love The…" are full of people saying, "This was the worst toy ever invented. That was the most awful song ever. That was the dumbest TV show. This was the ugliest thing people ever wore…"

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 03/22/2006 10:56 AM

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Socks, socks, socky socks. Sock sock socko, sock. sock sock sockitty sock. sock sock, sock in the mouth, sock.

I just wish that chubby guy would just quit crying over losing clients to Ditech.
Not to mention that ads for feminine hygene products are now the new Hair Club for Men. "You can now live an active lifestyle! Swimming, biking, weight lifting, Quantum Mechanics, you can even run your fingers through it!"

"X-Entertainment’s I Love I Love" We can all talk about how all the unknown comedians they use really, really suck.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/22/2006 12:08 PM

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Disney Afternoon was AMAZING- what a line up! They have Darkwing Duck on DVD now, and Chip n’ Dale, so now I eagerly await…GUMMI BEARS! That is one DVD set I NEED in my collection to complete me as a person.

The only line ups that can possibly compare to the Disney line-up would be Sunday morning Nick (Rugrats, Doug, Ren + Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life) OR certain years of SNICK…years that included Clarissa Explains it All, Are you Afraid of the Dark? and ROUNDHOUSE. WHY can’t any station put together a few solid hours of programming anymore?

That DiTech guy is awful- those commercials are terrible.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/22/2006 1:00 PM

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If you think the Vh1 commentators are unfunny you’ve obviously never sat through one of E!’s ridiculous Top Whatevers shows.
The Soup (E!’s one funny show) did a great parody of the Bryant Academy commercials recently about learning to be an oversexed doctor (Grey’s Academy).
New Lost tonight! Yay for slight relief from Sopranos withdrawl anguish. One of the guest stars listed for the ep gives me hope that we might finally get the answer to one of the big questions from season one (this sentence has been spoiler sanitized for your convenience).

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/22/2006 2:17 PM

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I can’t stand that bank commercial with the girl who gets her first paycheck. I thought the the song they played in the background was the LAverne and Shirley song, but I think it was from something else. Anyway, who the hell gets that excited about banking? Nevermind that the girl in the commercial looks like she’s in her 30′s. If you don’t have a bank account by then, what are you doing with your life?

Any Old Navy commercial usually irks the hell out of me. I think they make them as annoying as possible. I think they take direction from the Devil himself. He takes a trip up from whatever level of hell he resides in just to make those annoying commercials.

I also hated when Looney Tunes came on. Cleaning days at my house were on Saturdays also, and once Looney
Toons came on, we knew we only had an hour left of our saturdays.

IT’s sad that no network has any good after school afternoon cartoon blocks like they used to.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 03/22/2006 3:45 PM

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I picked up a Berries ‘n Cream Dr. Pepper from the grocery store. I’ve only had a couple of sips, but my initial reaction: it’s like there’s a party in my mouth, and everyone is extra delicious.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 03/22/2006 3:58 PM

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Well, I’ve never posted any comments before but I felt it absolutely necessary to communicate how awesome this is. I’ve ritually checked in on your site every few days or so for updates for the last 3 years and this was one of the best batch of commercials yet. Thank you for allowing the kids of the 80s to relive their youth and rediscover how awesome it was! You’re awesome Matt, keep it comin’!

Chestnuts roasted by EBrock @ 03/22/2006 11:06 PM

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Well, I do seem to remember that whole McDLT (or whatever). No, the lettuce and tomato weren’t crisp or cold.

The Underoos (Underroos?) commercials were a bit much, even at that time. Maybe I was a bit perverted in the ol’ membrane 15-20 years before everyone else, but kids parading around in their underwear? On TV? That ain’t right.

Chestnuts roasted by kinderscenen @ 03/23/2006 12:38 PM

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Those "Fat Burning Pills" commercials are just an extension of the "Snake Oil Venders" of old. "Hurry Hurry, Step right up! Try the magical mirical tonic!"

And, as for there being no "Solid Blocks Of Programming" I think CN still delivers the goods with Toonami, Adult Swim, and to a lesser extent Miguzi (Code Lyoko rocks and YuGiOh GX is corny but entertaining).

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 03/23/2006 4:33 AM

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