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Kamala, The Ugandan Website.

I've spent weekends starting at the computer wanting to write, having topics, having entire layouts for articles built and yet still unable to muster the inspiration to actually do it. And then there are other times, when I visit Kamala the Ugandan Giant's website and get so impressed that I curse out my "no weekdays" rule and write a big, long tribute to it. For those who don't know Kamala, he's an old pro-wrestler slash headhunter slash, nowadays at least, soul singer. I don't know why I felt the need to do this article. Blame dopey Tylenol PM; they're the ones who came out with golden vanilla-flavored happy medicine.

Posted by Matt on 03/07/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 68 comments

I think his songs might just be him singing to the pre-recorded ones that come on kinda-crappy keyboards.

Otherwise, awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Connor @ 03/08/2006 2:33 PM

I’m currently in shock. I get home from school and what do I find? Kamala, The Ugandan Giant singing to keyboard music. I’m, I’m just so happy.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 03/08/2006 3:00 PM

Dude, Guttercar , I’ve been walking around singing "Rock and Roll McDonald’s" to myself all day long. Freaky.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 03/08/2006 3:16 PM

It’s articles like this that make me reevaluate the exact reasons why I love your site.

At first, my thought was that you address all sorts of things from my childhood (which is true); yet, I can still read this piece about something I never knew–wrestling–and still be enraptured by it. I think the reasons are twofold: it’s partially because your articles explore the very nature of nostalgia, making me feel whimsical for things I’d never have gotten involved with; the other reason is that you’re just a brilliant writer–one of the best I’ve ever read and certainly the best on the Internet. Thanks for kicking so much ass, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/08/2006 5:18 PM

Any fellow Homestar Runner fans will know that Pom Pom dressed up as Kamala in Three Times Halloween Funjob.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 03/08/2006 5:46 PM

Thanks to this article, Kamala’s site statistics have shot through the roof.

Chestnuts roasted by random observer @ 03/08/2006 7:35 PM

They have a Kamala figure as part of the classic superstar series 9,I saw it today at Walmart.I almost bought it but bought Paul Bearer instead.

Chestnuts roasted by Sonny @ 03/08/2006 7:42 PM

Skimmed this article the 1st time while at work this morning, and just re-read it in its entirety. Great, great stuff. I agree with Matt- just the fact that Kamala still exists and has his own amazing website makes me very happy.

And I remember immensely enjoying that match at SummerSlam ’92 when I was all of 11 years old. It was hilarious- Kamala is a great actor!

Wasn’t Kamala actually on Raw or Smackdown not too long ago?…a few months ago, if I am not mistaken. (and since I don’t watch wrestling as religiously as I used to, it is quite possible I AM mistaken)

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/08/2006 7:48 PM

^ Kamala made an appearance on Smackdown a few months ago. I think he wrestled Randy Orton. Also, during that horrendous Raw Diva Seach from 2004, the Divas had to learn the art of seducing Kamala. I kid you not.

Chestnuts roasted by Skroob @ 03/08/2006 8:19 PM

Kamala is so freaking awesome! Did you know Randy Savage has a website to0? And.. he has a CD!! You should hear it his song "Be A Man Hogan" is so funny

Chestnuts roasted by Suren @ 03/08/2006 8:46 PM

The only memories of pro wrestling I have include saturdays at my babysitter when I was really young. And the thumb wrestlers I got at a thrift store a couple years back. I do want happy medicine.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/08/2006 10:01 PM

I’ve always hated wrestling, but sometimes when I’m drunk I’ll do Hulk Hogan’s reving-up-the-crowd moves or try to impersonate Randy Savage’s "oooooh yeeeeeah!".

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 03/08/2006 10:06 PM

I know it’s already been mentioned that the 350 pound schizo singer Wesley Willis (RIP my love) is not William Wallace, but I’d like to come to your defence, Maroff, and say that I often mistake Mel Gibson for a large black man.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 03/08/2006 10:53 PM

I met Kamala! I actually had the pleasure a year ago or so of meeting him while he was working the independent wrestling circuit–probably making scraps now.. when he used to sell crazy tickets like they were chocolate covered Big Macs. The next day I went to the public pool with weird stars and moons painted on myself like Kamala and was ridiculed by the neighborhood kids. Morale of the story.. Kamala is not, in fact, God.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 03/08/2006 11:19 PM

wow, good article, I Banged together a website on geocities back in 98 or or something, and the result looked slightly less proffesional than his effort.

Chestnuts roasted by Gene @ 03/08/2006 11:37 PM

I had Kamala’s (along with a bunch of others) old WWF Hasbro figure. Those were awesome. Practically every wrestler, no matter how minor, seem to have one.

Also, it was the Undertaker/Kamala feud that got me into wrestling. Although it was the Survivor Series Casket match instead of Summerslam. Saturday morning wrestling rocked.

I got Undertaker’s (and Paul Bearer’s) autograph when they came here a few times. I also have autographs of Shawn Michaels, Sunny, Headbangers, and Tatanka.

I still watch wrestling now, but not with the ethusiasm as before. TNA is ok, but isn’t exactly thrilling to me. WWE has sorta been stagnant for awhile.

Off-topic: If you watched Food Network’s "Ham on the Street" tonite, they blew up a bunch of Peeps in a microwave. NOT a pretty site.

VH1′s I Love Toys has been pretty cool so far. Although putting Smurfs on the list seems like padding.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 03/08/2006 11:48 PM

Apparently Kamala didn’t design this himself, he hired PROFESSIONALS:

"Site design by Great Looking Designs"

I’ll be coming to them for my next website!

Chestnuts roasted by Shii @ 03/09/2006 10:00 AM

aw man, Wesley Willis! I actually cried when I heard that he had passed away. His music was part of the soundtrack for my HIGH school years.

Besides "Rock and Roll McDonalds" I love "Ply the Donkey with a Whip" and "I Kicked Batman’s Ass" and "KMFDM" the best.

Wheaties, Breakfast of Champions.
Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 03/09/2006 10:13 AM

oh, and markoff, Wesley was from Chicago. Not NYC. Yeah, that’s right, a "performance artist" from somewhere besides New York. And he didn’t do it to be a "performance artist" either. He was writing music, and put out more albums than God.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 03/09/2006 10:38 AM

Well, I know this is off topic (I never really have everseen any of Pro Wrestling in its prime, being thirteen and all, or any pro wrestling ever come to think of it), but that comment about the fact thjatt sometimes you can’t get motivated to do an article, is that why I’ve been waiting for over a year for that SUperNaturals article (Or was that cancelled?)? ALso, when you mentioned that Madballs had no chance in hell of coming back, guess what? THEY"RE BACK: http://70.85.44.56/forum/index.php?showtopic=1752&pid=30021&st=0&#entry30021

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 03/09/2006 2:45 PM

kidneyboy wrote: aw man, Wesley Willis! I actually cried when I heard that he had passed away. His music was part of the soundtrack for my HIGH school years.

Besides "Rock and Roll McDonalds" I love "Ply the Donkey with a Whip" and "I Kicked Batman’s Ass" and "KMFDM" the best.

And it’s just not the holidays in my house with "Kris Kringle is a Car Thief".

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 03/09/2006 4:12 PM

Great! Now you have me googling George the Animal Steel.

He used eat the turn buckle pads.

Chestnuts roasted by Jed @ 03/09/2006 4:26 PM

Wow, Matt actually updates mid-week and I didn’t have time to read it. I actually had to print out all 9 pages of the Kamala story and read it on my break at work today. @_@

I actually do remember Kamala when he was in WWF. Weird shit. I also recall that particular confrentation with Undertaker, though part of that may be attributed to my scanning through my old wrestling tapes a few weeks back. Undertaker was as ginourmous in person and his hair was as stringy and dripping with grease as I’d ever imagined. Very Frankenstein like in his appearance.

And yeah, I did go to a few WWF events in Allentown back in the day. :P

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/09/2006 6:28 PM

This is bizarre. Today at work (I work for Wal-Mart, blah…). I was walking the aisles, and talking to a friend who was working, and which action figure do I see? Kamala. Staring at me with his frightening gaze. It’s odd how this is suddenly on the site…

Chestnuts roasted by Wookiee @ 03/09/2006 11:32 PM

Lest we forget…

I AM A REAL AMERICAN
FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS OF EVERY MAN

YEEEEEEAH, BROTHER!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Another Matt @ 03/10/2006 12:13 PM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 at 11:58 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.