The X-Entertainment Blog!

03/07/2006: Kamala, The Ugandan Website.

I’ve spent weekends starting at the computer wanting to write, having topics, having entire layouts for articles built and yet still unable to muster the inspiration to actually do it. And then there are other times, when I visit Kamala the Ugandan Giant’s website and get so impressed that I curse out my “no weekdays” rule and write a big, long tribute to it. For those who don’t know Kamala, he’s an old pro-wrestler slash headhunter slash, nowadays at least, soul singer. I don’t know why I felt the need to do this article. Blame dopey Tylenol PM; they’re the ones who came out with golden vanilla-flavored happy medicine.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 68 comments

1 2 Next »

Smells like trouble!

Ghosted by Kimchee @ 03/08/2006 12:26 PM EST

Thanks Tylenol!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 03/08/2006 12:32 PM EST

i am totally with you. i dont agree with flavored medicines….. fool me once tylenol…….."cool capsules"………ew.

Ghosted by swami @ 03/08/2006 12:37 PM EST

"[I]n a world where lovely lady humps are the new Beatles, you just never know."
That can be applied to so many situations.
I’m don’t know what to say about the blog intro and I’ve just tried like ten times.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 03/08/2006 12:57 PM EST

mmmm, Tylenol 3. as it happens, that’s what I took tonight, via CWE to remove the APAP. Niiiice.

I like the Cobra Commander’s Day Off on I <3 Toys...but the rest of the show goes too fast...but then I'd rather read about all that shit riiight here, wif mah family :)

Off to read more goodies yay.

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 03/08/2006 12:58 PM EST

There is apparently a pharmacy somewhere within Oregon (my state) that will flavor your medicine any flavor that you want. I only learned this from the radio this morning, so I can’t give exact details.

The DJs couldn’t stop laughing at the idea, but it might work for you, Matt….unless chocolate and over-the-counter sleep medication has a deadly interaction.

Ghosted by Mars @ 03/08/2006 1:00 AM EST

Kamala’s CD might be one of the best albums of all time. But now I am in a bit of a dilema. Which is better? Kamalas sould cd? Or Macho Mans rap album "Be a man?"

Ghosted by Ed @ 03/08/2006 1:16 AM EST

Did you REALLY just do a full page on Kamala’s website? Matt, you never cease to amaze me…

I remember watching those early matches and always wondering what he was doing in there – he always looked lost. I was also a huge UT fan though, and watching Kamala’s eyes grow larger than his own head when he got scared was awesome…

I’m a little bummed that his PO Box is in Miss, though – kinda takes away that Ugandan mystique…

Ghosted by seawoolf @ 03/08/2006 1:44 AM EST

Am I the only one who thinks this guy would make a good "Street Fighter" character?

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 03/08/2006 2:20 AM EST

goddamn great read! It’s like getting a little bit of the good ol’ days in a brand new article!

I like when Earthquake posts on Wrestlecrap…he seems like a good guy too.

How can a Ugandan giant end up in Mississippi?

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 03/08/2006 2:37 AM EST

Lou Ferrigno’s website isn’t bad either.

http://www.louferrigno.com/

I love when you rollover a button how that rod glows green.

Also, 30 bucks for a signed Lou Ferrigno shirt!

Ghosted by Tommy @ 03/08/2006 3:37 AM EST

Looks like Kamala’s page is going to exceed its bandwidth limit a FOURTH time.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 03/08/2006 4:28 AM EST

aaaah, the good old days:
Kamala, you are not an animal, you are a man!

Matt, you know that right after the feud with the Undertaker, and after the casketmatch at Survivor Series, Kamala became a good-guy. So you already knew that Kamala wasn’t the angry giant anymore. And we have Slick to thank for that!

Ghosted by Sjoerd Zegers @ 03/08/2006 5:04 AM EST

My cousin hipped me to Kamala’s page a few months back. I was occupied for hours. True story I got a Kamala action figure this past christmas check it here .

I remember that summerslam match – my favorite ppv had to be royal rumble.

The Million Dollar Man has a pretty cool page too. He seems to be a born again christian of some sorts. On his page he has link to christian children’s books. Good stuff.

Ghosted by Geoffinsanity @ 03/08/2006 8:19 AM EST

He had beef with hacksaw jim duggan? f’n wicked sweet. His music reminds me of william wallace. Not the movie charachter, the 350lb schizo NY performance artist who headbutted his fans and sang songs like "i whupped spider mans ass" and "cut the mullett" [props to retrocrush for tuning me in to that freak] This Kamala kid is the for real deal. Im gonna contact him just to try to get a high five or something.

Ghosted by Markoff_Cheney @ 03/08/2006 8:31 AM EST

I like how one of his stated nemeses was Andre the Giant. As always, the writers of this stuff go above and beyond. "C’mon, the Ugandan Giant, Andre the Giant? Everyone knows giants don’t get along. Write a chair in there and let’s go get some hookers."

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 03/08/2006 8:32 AM EST

Mother. Of. God. i just saw his "promo commercials" for his local events… wow. just.. wow.
did they give some shaky crack head a 5 spot to film those shots or what? looks like most of the video was done with an inept wife in the basement of his modest home. Whatta legend.

Ghosted by markoff_again @ 03/08/2006 8:36 AM EST

For someone who’s never been into pro wrestling – or any wrestling for that matter – at all, that was very entertaining.

Tetsu Deinonychus: If you mixed Dhalsim and E. Honda, you’d pretty much come out with Kamala. Maybe a less vicious Kamala, but some kind of Kamala nevertheless.

Ghosted by TE-Ryan @ 03/08/2006 9:39 AM EST

Wow, that is so awesome. I am such a Kamala mark. Good to see I’m not the only one.

Ghosted by Matt St. Cool @ 03/08/2006 9:41 AM EST

I can’t believe you didn’t metion the chain of past-their-prime wrestlers’ websites you can wade through via his "links" page. And then all the links pages of all those sites. Maybe this could become a regular feature? Reviews of old wrestlers webpages.

Ghosted by Dane @ 03/08/2006 9:49 AM EST

Holy crap, it’s Kamala! Nice job, Matt. I agree with Dane, that would be a great regular feature- old WWF wrestlers’ websites.

Speaking of wrestling, I bought Bret Hart’s DVD and I am loving every minute of it. The 3 disc set is worth it just for the old matches alone (Bret chose his favorites, including 2 versus Mr.Perfect) plus there is also an excellent, huge interview! I love Bret and I am so glad I found this DVD! ( I had to go to 3 different towns before I found it)Ahhhhhh, wrestling. OLD SCHOOL wrestling, to be exact.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 03/08/2006 11:21 AM EST

Awesome. I seem to remember watching wrestling occasionally when I was little, but this Kamala… I can’t recall. Too young. Anyway, I’m just glad a new article’s up. Yay! New article!

Ghosted by Gooper Blooper @ 03/08/2006 11:49 AM EST

*wakes up from his Trajeal-induced faint* hummina-hummina… wha-? Kamala? EEEEEEeeeeeeee! *thud*
Seriously, I gots to contact Little Brother, we’re both Kamala fans from waaayy back. When Pom-Pom dressed as KtUG on H*R one Hallowe’en, we had tried to call each other about the same time. O, wrasslin’, where has all thy great characters gone? Moondog Mayne, we need you now more than ever!

Ghosted by kingklash needs to get one of those spears @ 03/08/2006 12:00 PM EST

*His music reminds me of william wallace. Not the movie charachter, the 350lb schizo NY performance artist who headbutted his fans and sang songs like "i whupped spider mans ass" and "cut the mullett" [props to retrocrush for tuning me in to that freak] This Kamala kid is the for real deal. Im gonna contact him just to try to get a high five or something.*

That’s actually Wesley Willis, the schizophrenic musical genius who passed away last year.

Rock over London, Rock out Chicago.

Ghosted by guttercar @ 03/08/2006 1:38 PM EST

TE-Ryan said what I was gonna say.. E. Honda + Dhalsim = Kamala.

Oh well, I’ll just go pout in the corner.

Ghosted by ZiZak @ 03/08/2006 2:05 PM EST

I think his songs might just be him singing to the pre-recorded ones that come on kinda-crappy keyboards.

Otherwise, awesome.

Ghosted by Connor @ 03/08/2006 2:33 PM EST

I’m currently in shock. I get home from school and what do I find? Kamala, The Ugandan Giant singing to keyboard music. I’m, I’m just so happy.

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 03/08/2006 3:00 PM EST

Dude, Guttercar , I’ve been walking around singing "Rock and Roll McDonald’s" to myself all day long. Freaky.

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 03/08/2006 3:16 PM EST

It’s articles like this that make me reevaluate the exact reasons why I love your site.

At first, my thought was that you address all sorts of things from my childhood (which is true); yet, I can still read this piece about something I never knew–wrestling–and still be enraptured by it. I think the reasons are twofold: it’s partially because your articles explore the very nature of nostalgia, making me feel whimsical for things I’d never have gotten involved with; the other reason is that you’re just a brilliant writer–one of the best I’ve ever read and certainly the best on the Internet. Thanks for kicking so much ass, Matt.

Ghosted by mtrox @ 03/08/2006 5:18 PM EST

Any fellow Homestar Runner fans will know that Pom Pom dressed up as Kamala in Three Times Halloween Funjob.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 03/08/2006 5:46 PM EST

Thanks to this article, Kamala’s site statistics have shot through the roof.

Ghosted by random observer @ 03/08/2006 7:35 PM EST

They have a Kamala figure as part of the classic superstar series 9,I saw it today at Walmart.I almost bought it but bought Paul Bearer instead.

Ghosted by Sonny @ 03/08/2006 7:42 PM EST

Skimmed this article the 1st time while at work this morning, and just re-read it in its entirety. Great, great stuff. I agree with Matt- just the fact that Kamala still exists and has his own amazing website makes me very happy.

And I remember immensely enjoying that match at SummerSlam ‘92 when I was all of 11 years old. It was hilarious- Kamala is a great actor!

Wasn’t Kamala actually on Raw or Smackdown not too long ago?…a few months ago, if I am not mistaken. (and since I don’t watch wrestling as religiously as I used to, it is quite possible I AM mistaken)

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 03/08/2006 7:48 PM EST

^ Kamala made an appearance on Smackdown a few months ago. I think he wrestled Randy Orton. Also, during that horrendous Raw Diva Seach from 2004, the Divas had to learn the art of seducing Kamala. I kid you not.

Ghosted by Skroob @ 03/08/2006 8:19 PM EST

Kamala is so freaking awesome! Did you know Randy Savage has a website to0? And.. he has a CD!! You should hear it his song "Be A Man Hogan" is so funny

Ghosted by Suren @ 03/08/2006 8:46 PM EST

The only memories of pro wrestling I have include saturdays at my babysitter when I was really young. And the thumb wrestlers I got at a thrift store a couple years back. I do want happy medicine.

Ghosted by kb @ 03/08/2006 10:01 PM EST

I’ve always hated wrestling, but sometimes when I’m drunk I’ll do Hulk Hogan’s reving-up-the-crowd moves or try to impersonate Randy Savage’s "oooooh yeeeeeah!".

Ghosted by Gozer @ 03/08/2006 10:06 PM EST

I know it’s already been mentioned that the 350 pound schizo singer Wesley Willis (RIP my love) is not William Wallace, but I’d like to come to your defence, Maroff, and say that I often mistake Mel Gibson for a large black man.

Ghosted by Mara @ 03/08/2006 10:53 PM EST

I met Kamala! I actually had the pleasure a year ago or so of meeting him while he was working the independent wrestling circuit–probably making scraps now.. when he used to sell crazy tickets like they were chocolate covered Big Macs. The next day I went to the public pool with weird stars and moons painted on myself like Kamala and was ridiculed by the neighborhood kids. Morale of the story.. Kamala is not, in fact, God.

Ghosted by Review the World @ 03/08/2006 11:19 PM EST

wow, good article, I Banged together a website on geocities back in 98 or or something, and the result looked slightly less proffesional than his effort.

Ghosted by Gene @ 03/08/2006 11:37 PM EST

I had Kamala’s (along with a bunch of others) old WWF Hasbro figure. Those were awesome. Practically every wrestler, no matter how minor, seem to have one.

Also, it was the Undertaker/Kamala feud that got me into wrestling. Although it was the Survivor Series Casket match instead of Summerslam. Saturday morning wrestling rocked.

I got Undertaker’s (and Paul Bearer’s) autograph when they came here a few times. I also have autographs of Shawn Michaels, Sunny, Headbangers, and Tatanka.

I still watch wrestling now, but not with the ethusiasm as before. TNA is ok, but isn’t exactly thrilling to me. WWE has sorta been stagnant for awhile.

Off-topic: If you watched Food Network’s "Ham on the Street" tonite, they blew up a bunch of Peeps in a microwave. NOT a pretty site.

VH1’s I Love Toys has been pretty cool so far. Although putting Smurfs on the list seems like padding.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 03/08/2006 11:48 PM EST

Apparently Kamala didn’t design this himself, he hired PROFESSIONALS:

"Site design by Great Looking Designs"

I’ll be coming to them for my next website!

Ghosted by Shii @ 03/09/2006 10:00 AM EST

aw man, Wesley Willis! I actually cried when I heard that he had passed away. His music was part of the soundtrack for my HIGH school years.

Besides "Rock and Roll McDonalds" I love "Ply the Donkey with a Whip" and "I Kicked Batman’s Ass" and "KMFDM" the best.

Wheaties, Breakfast of Champions.
Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 03/09/2006 10:13 AM EST

oh, and markoff, Wesley was from Chicago. Not NYC. Yeah, that’s right, a "performance artist" from somewhere besides New York. And he didn’t do it to be a "performance artist" either. He was writing music, and put out more albums than God.

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 03/09/2006 10:38 AM EST

Well, I know this is off topic (I never really have everseen any of Pro Wrestling in its prime, being thirteen and all, or any pro wrestling ever come to think of it), but that comment about the fact thjatt sometimes you can’t get motivated to do an article, is that why I’ve been waiting for over a year for that SUperNaturals article (Or was that cancelled?)? ALso, when you mentioned that Madballs had no chance in hell of coming back, guess what? THEY"RE BACK: http://70.85.44.56/forum/index.php?showtopic=1752&pid=30021&st=0&#entry30021

Ghosted by TOM @ 03/09/2006 2:45 PM EST

kidneyboy wrote: aw man, Wesley Willis! I actually cried when I heard that he had passed away. His music was part of the soundtrack for my HIGH school years.

Besides "Rock and Roll McDonalds" I love "Ply the Donkey with a Whip" and "I Kicked Batman’s Ass" and "KMFDM" the best.

And it’s just not the holidays in my house with "Kris Kringle is a Car Thief".

Ghosted by LemurCat @ 03/09/2006 4:12 PM EST

Great! Now you have me googling George the Animal Steel.

He used eat the turn buckle pads.

Ghosted by Jed @ 03/09/2006 4:26 PM EST

Wow, Matt actually updates mid-week and I didn’t have time to read it. I actually had to print out all 9 pages of the Kamala story and read it on my break at work today. @_@

I actually do remember Kamala when he was in WWF. Weird shit. I also recall that particular confrentation with Undertaker, though part of that may be attributed to my scanning through my old wrestling tapes a few weeks back. Undertaker was as ginourmous in person and his hair was as stringy and dripping with grease as I’d ever imagined. Very Frankenstein like in his appearance.

And yeah, I did go to a few WWF events in Allentown back in the day.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 03/09/2006 6:28 PM EST

This is bizarre. Today at work (I work for Wal-Mart, blah…). I was walking the aisles, and talking to a friend who was working, and which action figure do I see? Kamala. Staring at me with his frightening gaze. It’s odd how this is suddenly on the site…

Ghosted by Wookiee @ 03/09/2006 11:32 PM EST

Lest we forget…

I AM A REAL AMERICAN
FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS OF EVERY MAN

YEEEEEEAH, BROTHER!!!!!

Ghosted by Another Matt @ 03/10/2006 12:13 PM EST

1 2 Next »

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 at 11:58 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.