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02/24/2006: Spicy Hawaiian Sauce.

I'm not terribly fond of eating shit food during the week, because I don't want to feel shitty eating shit food during the shitty weekend when I shittin' need it. That said, when I get off the bus after the commute home, the short walk to my car involves strolling past a Wendy's, and yesterday, I couldn't help noticing much signage with pictures of fried chicken strips and the word "AWESOME."

The "AWESOME" notations weren't for the fried chicken strips, because they've already been well established as awesome for some time, and thus are in no need of further promotion budgeting for those ends. Instead, I was being told of the new "AWESOME" sauces for said strips, including Wild Buffalo Ranch and the holiest sauce of all, Sweet & Spicy Hawaiian. It's the latter of those two that brings me here tonight, because with full knowledge that Wendy's Spicy Hawaiian sauce will not last for long no matter how "AWESOME" it is, I felt it was my duty to archive and celebrate its great existence.

There are two special things about Spicy Hawaiian sauce that make it worth this tribute. First, the name. "Spicy Hawaiian." You can turn down a hot chick when you're married and you can avoid stealing a car even if it'd be really easy to do so. As we grow we develop a strong sense of resistance and where it needs to apply. With "Spicy Hawaiian," you're sold Continental American, 100%, you can not turn down/deflect/say no to/avoid a sauce named after the only state in our great nation that is inhabited solely by people in raffia skirts and flower crowns. Two, the seeds. Spicy Hawaiian sauce is essentially regular sweet and sour sauce with a different color additive, but they've also included paper-thin peppercorn spices to turn what would've been an everyday sauce into a Hawaiian fire dance in your mouth to appease the gods of your throat. I don't know. I like-a the sauce-a.

I write this on a Friday night, and I'd like to wish the week that was a hearty FUCK YOU, because the week that was sucked. I'm becoming a broken record about that and I'm starting to think it's time to stop wasting time and just hit the damn Win For Life scratch-off jackpot already. I know I'm prone to complain about anything that needs me for something, but we're getting to a breaking point that can only result in me growing a really long beard, renaming myself "George" and moving to Utah under the guise of a shoemaker. I hope the Wendy's restaurants in Utah have Spicy Hawaiian sauce.

hubba hub-ba now THAT is a spicy hawain!

I love Wendy's chicken nuggets, they're probably my favorite fast food item. The first time I went to lunch with a friend I got them, opened the box and proclaimed, "Mmmm… mutated chicken bits!" She was apparently quite amused by this and now we always refer to chicken nuggets as mutated chicken bits.

My new job isn't going too bad. Today was dead, I think I took like 45 calls. Only got yelled at by like 1 person so all in all a decent day.

Dude, what on Earth could be wrong with working for Nickelodeon? How many other jobs would result in your getting 7,000 free EXO-FORCE toys?

Today I watched the 70s movie "Diry Mary and Crazy Larry". Has anyone else seen this with it's horrible twist ending? *is traumatized*

That would be the McNuggets Shanghai. From what I remember, you got a big fancy box full of 20-some nuggets that, I guess, you were supposed to eat with the chopsticks.

Alas, it remains a mystery to me as to how the folks at Mickey D's came up the idea of associating Chicken McNuggets with Chinese food.

Wendy's Chickie Nuggets rock, though I'm not much of a sauce person. Never have been. Ketchup makes me wretch.

Matt, dude, I hear ya on the rough week. It was a tall cans night on the train, and then I watched the worst hockey game known to man tonight. Still so pissed about it I can't sleep.

Wendy's nuggets are a lot better than their new strips–sometimes overprocessed IS preferred.
Overall, Wendy's food tastes the best out of any other major fast-food company.

I just got my Masterpiece edition of the Rick Hunter Veritech from Robotech Macross. It ROCKS! I spent far too much on it, but I think it was worth it.

Matt, how come we never see you do anything about Robotech? It's a bit more obscure than Transformers, but it was every bit as good.

I went to Wendy's last week and was UTTERLY DISMAYED to find out they're not serving the bacon and cheese baked potatoes any more (I'm still angry at Carl's Jr for getting rid of the potato outright). I loved going to Wendy's on a lazy afternoon and getting a potato and a couple of bucks worth of crispy chicken nugs.
"I'd like to wish the week that was a hearty FUCK YOU, because the week that was sucked." Pure poetry. I don't mind-a the broken record thing, but it sure does seem like something's gotta give if you're contemplating all these wilderness scenarios. That's life, I guess.

I think Matt either uploaded a commercial dealing with that Chinese McNugget thing, or he found an old pack of one of the sauces.

Providential. That is the only word that applies.
I am awake at 3 AM due to E.Claire (who hasn't had a case of the night cries in a LONG time) and thought I would stop by. We had Wendy's for dinner tonight and at first they forgot to give me 2 sodas. I had to do the "hey, I was just here and I am not really ordering" drive-thru drive. The worst drive there is (besides with Miss Daisy).
THEN, I get home only to find they forgot Mrs. Manimal's chipotle sauce for her chicken strips. She was livid since the sauce in her mind is the strips raison d'etre.
The second reason this post is providential is because I taught the annexation of Hawaii this past week!!
To sum up: Wendy's + Imperialism + a crying baby = X-E blog gold.

Actually that sauce tastes suprisingly good on the burgers. Well, the junior bacon cheese burger. 100% more tasty.

Oh snap! I'm a condiment whore. Time to make a trip. I don't care if Wendy's doesn't open for a few hours–I'm waiting at their door like a Star Wars geek.

Monte: The McDonald's execs, after a three-day cocaine bender, came up with the idea of McNuggets Shanghai to subtly taunt the public, since the McNuggets of the mid-80s were 23% stray cats by volume.

What is that girl doing in that picture? She looks like she's playing crab soccer in 3rd grade gym class.

I actually went to Wendy's yesterday for lunch, and since I hate hate hate chicken fingers I begged my lunching partner to get them, with spicy hawaiian sauce, so I could try it. But she didn't.

I remember the (short) era of the Shanghai McNuggets. I wanted to try them so badly but, being a kid, I didn't want to go without my Happy Meal prize. I asked if I could get my Happy Meal McNuggets as Shangai McNuggets and the lady said no. Looking back, I don't understand why she couldn't be a little more cooperative. What I mainly wanted was the sauce and she could have given me that as easily as she gave me honey. I'd be curious to know if it was a tie-in to the ill-fated "Shanghai Surprise".

I laughed at your comment, mtrox, because I can totally relate. I love condiments (especially sauces) and salivate at trying something my tastebuds have never experienced before. There are some food items I buy strictly for the sauce that comes with them (ex: The Chick-fil-A club, which tastes 1,000 times more amazing with the packet of Honey Roasted BBQ on it.) In fact, I have to say that CFA gets my vote for best fast food restaurant, but Wendy's is right behind it. In my opinion, the Big Bacon Classic is the best fast food burger money can buy. [sigh] I can't believe how much I love fast food.

That was the last photo of the young lady taken before a shark poured sauce on her and gulped her down in one bite.

Ok, earlier tonight at my college I attended a production of the stage adaptation for Dead Man Walking. First time seeing anything community theater-like (that, and it was required to see for one of my classes and one of the 3 Professors teaching it was in it), and I have to say, It was VERY interesting to say the least.

I re-read that first sentence way too many times and now my head is spinning. But I finally got it. I just need sleep.

Man, Matt, I give you credit. I'm not a huge fast-food fan, I HATE chicken nuggets or any breaded meat, period…and you STILL make me want to try these.

I love Wendys Chicken Strips, and the thought of Spicy Hawainn Sauce ON Wendys Chicken Strips makes me want to drop everything and run full-speed to my nearest Wendys. In fact, thats what I'll probably do right now.

Matt, you fuck. The UK doesn't have Wendy's and now I'm fucking craving some Wendy's.

This Wendy's thing reminds me of something of an old McDonald's commercial from the 80s I got on tape somewhere.

They ran a promotion where they also had crazy sauces with their McNuggets. Teriyaki, Hot Mustard, and Sweet and Sour among them. I don't know why but it also came with chopsticks and a fortune cookie also. Chinese New Year maybe? Although the woman in the commercial isn't Chinese at all.

yo! matt!
i dig your site/column in newsjournal even though they wont print the word "fuck"…..
so im a fan…
and as a fan, i thought it fair to tell you/beat you to the punch on something….
"garbage pail kids the movie" is now out on dvd, and i know i own it before you, because you would have gone off on a 3 page tangent about it…
course, i think you did do a review once….
bleh…..
- dudziak….
newark delaware

Lol, you're way behind on the Garbage Pail DVD thing. I think we mentioned that weeks and possibly months ago. Everyone probably has that now. Even I have it. Anyone who's got $7.50 and lives near a Wal-Mart has it.

I live in Ohio and tried the Wild Buffalo Ranch last week. It's okay, but I prefer to make my own buffalo-ranch combination. Lots of hot sauce, a little ranch, to procure that awesomely orange-cream color. Mmm.

I'll agree with the pro-Wendy's statements made here. That's my regular stop for lunch, and I'm usually a straight dollar menu customer, but Sweet & Spicy Hawaiian sauce does sound tempting, I'll admit. I'll see if they have it there the next time I go.

I love Wendy's Chicken strips, but I still prefer KFC's Crispy Strips over them. Off topic, I just bought a King Kong toy-a Foetodon, at Target. It includes 2 Islanders and 4 Filmmakers.

Hey. I'm working on a show at a local community college and I'm pirating off the school's network. So now I, too, am getting paid to check the blog. And it feels awesome.

On an unrelated note, make with the name clicking to see what I do in my spare time.

About 2 weeks after I said I needed to get it done, I FINALLY got my Financial Aid application done. Me and the wifey went swimming today for the first time in a long time. It was nice. I would probably mame, not quite kill, but mame for some chicken strips. There are only McDonalds and Burger Kings in Germany. Mickey D's isn't wonderful and I've had a personal thing against BK for most of my life. They do have d�ners here, though. That almost makes up for it.
Now, it's time for bed.

Great. The nearest Wendy's is a frigging 2 HOUR drive away…and it's in the next province. I hate, hate, hate living in this rural wasteland.

I need to quit my job and get out of here! The nearest McDonald's is 175 KM away, and the nearest movie theater is a 1 hour drive…(and it is a run down dump with only one screen, and has diseased seats with no cup holders.)

Speaking of chicken nuggets and strips, McDonald's Chicken Selects are some fo the shittiest stuff you'll have. It's 75% breading and 20% chicken.

and i'd like to go on record saying the garbage pail kids movie was even worse/weirder than i had remembered, they show it on cable every once in a while, and WOW. between that and "flesh gordon and the cosmic cheerleaders" (a soft porn that was neither sexy nor porn, discuss..) i really wonder how much coke everybody in the biz was doing back then, i mean why were 80s movies so weird?

those sauces make me wish there was a wendy's in finland. Hot damn do those look delicious :'(!

i live in Hawaii. It's awesome, but not what you would expect. I bet the sauce sucks. The local food in Hawaii is yummy though.

I went to Wendy's for lunch the other day. Don't bother with the Chicken Strips Meal, because it seems like kind of a ripoff to me (3 friggin strips!? What kind of crap is that? What happened to America's disgustingly large portions?!), but I ordered some chicken nuggets and requested the Spicy Hawaiian sauce to go with them.

And the dirty bastards were OUT of the sauce! There was very nearly violence, I tell you.

Hey, does the Garbage Pail Kids Movie DVD still contain the Basic Instinct moment in it?

I've tried the sauce, too–it's really good! However, I'm so broke that I had to dip Zesta crackers with pepperjack cheese on them into it; I couldn't afford the chicken!

I'm a vegetarian now, but when I did eat chicken nuggets, I couldn't stand to eat them with anything other than honey. Is that weird?

My favorite fast food dipin' sauce has to be Burger Kings "Zesty Onion Ring Sauce" the nameless sauce will add zing to your Onion rings and your indigestion!

My favorite fast food dipin' sauce has to be Burger Kings' "Zesty Onion Ring Sauce" the nameless sauce will add zing to your Onion rings and your indigestion!

hey Xeno, I know you like the sauce, and it's also added zing to your mouse clickin; finger!
The secret goodness in the BK sauce is the horseradish. It's zesty zingy ringy dingy!

The GPK movie is out on DVD now. My local Best Buy has it. I always wanted to see it, but just couldn't ring myself to waste $10 on it. Matt has given his opinion of course in his review of the movie, but did anyone actually like it? (as a bad movie of course) Is it worth $10?

The GPK cartoon hasn't been released, a few torrents exist of foreign airings (in English) of it.

I just tried the Wendy's sweet and spicy hawaiian sauce tonight after being taunted with a slew of commercials every time I turned on the tv. I gotta say, I was a little disappointed. It tasted like Wendy's original sweet and sour sauce with italian salad dressing mixed in. I asked for the buffalo ranch sauce too, but I'll be damned if I didn't look in the bag when I got home to see that they had forgotten it. A piece of me died then; a small, dipping sauce-loving piece.

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 24th, 2006 at 11:17 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.