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Weirdass TMNT Combo Platter #4.

In what's by far the strangest event since the resurgence of the Ninja Toitles began, giant-sized action figures are being packaged with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III DVDs in neat windows boxes, sold at the radical discount rate of 13.99. There really aren't any good explanations for this, and every time I look at it, fifty more questions pop in my head and make my head go all ninja hurtles. The film came out in 1993; TMNT's current crop of fans (we do not count) can't possibly share its age demo. Even so, TMNT III is nothing for anyone with a vested interest in the current franchise to be proud of, and I can't imagine any bigwigs at Playmates sitting around giant oak tables shaped like miniature golf courses saying, "A good way to make today's kids love today's Turtles is by showing them the single most critically shat-upon aspect of yesterday's Turtles." Only they wouldn't say it like that. They'd say it more dumberly.

Being one of the fortunate losers who can say that they enjoy both Old Turtles and New Turtles, this mashing of eras serves me big plates of delight that figuratively taste like awesome Cool Whip. I've always tried to keep my nerd level in check when it comes to not opening things that would look better opened because they'll be worth trillions of bling clams someday, but no, you absolutely CANNOT open this set, because the sum is worth a hundred times more than its parts. The figure is cool, but there's a million of them, and the DVD is kind of cool, but you can buy it from any gas station with a TigerMart for 2.99. Only together are their strengths fully realized. Only together can they be worth writing about at 11:30 on a Tuesday night.

Some attempt was made to make sense of the madness. It's the "Movie Action Set," including a "Mutant Movie Star" -- a "Box Office Brawler." I am so close to meaning it when I say I'm cracking up right now. And now that I've noticed the movie popcorn graphics all over the box, I really do mean it. This one's for the books. The tubular books.

Posted by Matt on 01/31/2006. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 164 comments

Chuck Norris was torn from the thigh of Zeus. Afterward, Chuck then proceeded to kick Zeus in the face and build his own home-gym on Mount Olympus.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 02/03/2006 4:23 PM

Hail to lord Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/03/2006 7:37 PM

Yeah, but with Misty then everyone thinks I’m some kind of crazy Pokemon freak. Although I suppose a lot of people think that already… partially due to the "POKEMON ARE COMING!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!" speech I gave in high school back in ’98. I don’t think I’m ever going to live down squeeling like a fangirl and huggling Pikachu in front of my classmates. I don’t even remember why the fuck I was giving a speech about Pokemon in the first place! Watching the seizure episode must have screwed with my mind. o.O

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/03/2006 8:30 PM

Mystie- Bizaro Darth Poop suggested the name change, not me, the one and only true lord of the shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/03/2006 8:46 PM

Conan O’Brien is on now, and its a great lineup!

Stephen Colbert
Rick Moranis (hes gonna sing)
Sarah Vowell

I wish I was at that taping…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 02/04/2006 12:43 PM

I have so much love for those movies. Ahhh childhood.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 02/04/2006 2:58 AM

I have so much love for those movies. Ahhh childhood.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 02/04/2006 2:59 AM

Back in ’98? Mystie was on the BALL.

Actually, I discovered Pokemon early too, thanks to my being a devoted Nintendo fan. I remember getting the Blue cart the week it came out, and looking at the stupid Furbies and thinking, "Kids need to get into something better, like this." I would come to regret that thought.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/04/2006 3:45 AM

Look Mom, I’m on the Internet! So, I was able to refrain myself from turning into a drooling, slobbering mess when the cable guy came (who was thankfully neither Larry nor Jim Carrey)…but just barely. Now I have a shiny new Internet connection and The Fairly Oddparents are on the TV. I’m never leaving my apartment (except for work) again!!

In other news, I love what I’ve seen of Invader Zim; unfortunately, I haven’t seen too much, but now that I have full control of a digital cable box I should be able to catch some eps on one of the other Nick stations. I’m a big fan of JTHM, even if I only read the collection a couple of months ago. Just my kind of twisted humor.

And I too was one of the few, the proud, the Pokemon fans. I watched it in high school and loved the games…I even bought the special Pokemon edition of the Game Boy Color, which I still have. If I could have followed the show, I’d still be watching it. Pikachu’s that cute.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 02/04/2006 10:43 AM

I’m watching "Hook" this morning on TNT. Heaven help me…I’m really enjoying it.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 02/04/2006 10:54 AM

Hook gets a bad rap. I enjoyed it as a kid, and looking again, it’s not bad. It doesn’t hurt that it includes one of John Williams’s greatest film scores (I’m a huge film score buff, what can I say?).

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/04/2006 10:59 AM

Also, any movie with Phil Collins in it can’t be that bad (I’m only half joking here!).

Chestnuts roasted by Bludge @ 02/04/2006 11:16 AM

OMG I was a total Pokefreak around 97/98. Yes, I was in High School (sad but true) and watched Pokemon, religiously. In fact, I bought most of the first season on VHS tape. I collected the keychains (most of them from Japan off ebay), stuffed toys (my fav was the talking Pikachu with the light up cheeks and a giant plush n pillowy Dragonite, oh and Dratini! I loved my lil Dratini!)

I drew Pokemon, sent Pokemon Christmas cards (they had them at EB and Babbages, holographic even with Pikachu in a Santa hat), wore Pikachu shirts (still have that) and saved my money for weeks to buy a Gameboy Color for the impending release of Pokemon Blue.

Pokemon Snap, Pokemon Stadium, Pokemon this and Pokemon that… then one day…

I realized the series was not as good as it used to be. The show was still cute but was getting very repetitive. The games were repeating themselves too much and were not evolving as I had hoped. The Pokemon designs begin to get uglier and stranger and I started to lose interest. By the time Pokemon Silver came out my Pokecraze had peaked and after finishing the game and trying a few that came afterward and realizing it was just the same thing all over again… I just moved on.

Pikachu is still adorable and *if* they ever did a proper Pokemon RPG for the Gamecube (or revolution or DS) I would buy it… but… after seeing so many other anime I realize how quaint and simplistic it was.

But oh how I loved it at the time.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 02/04/2006 11:24 AM

I have the Pokemon Pinball game for GB, and still haven’t caught all of them yet. As long as it’s in a pinball setting, i play it. If I have one favorite Pokemon, it Meowth. The one who hangs out with Team Rocket. He’s sneaky, goofy, and loyal beyond all reason. If I pass by the show, I stop long enough to watch Meowth get all sarcastic, then move on.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/04/2006 11:36 AM

Ok, first off let me say this up front: I hate trendy/popular things. For example, when The West Wing was at the height of its popularity, I wouldn’t watch it. Now it is one of my favorite shows. Needless to say, Pokemon is something I wouldn’t go near. But I find myself curious, after all these years, as to what all the fuss was about. Should I go back and play one of the original Pokemon games? I just don’t know.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 02/04/2006 12:29 PM

I once had a deck of cards shaped like Pokeballs that let you play any regular games but also had this awesome version of Rummy based on the evolution stages…so much fun.
Thanks for the heads up on Hook, it’s starting right now! I’m seeing now that I enjoy it for the same reason I liked Wicked and read too much fan fiction (any is too much ;) )
Any fellow Vasquez fans have thoughts to share about Everything Can Be Beaten (preferably spoiler free please)? I haven’t been able to pick it up as of yet but it’s been out so long somebody out there’s got to have read it.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/04/2006 1:19 PM

I, too was a Pokemon fan back in the day. Hell, I was a fan before it was cool. (before it was even released in the US)

Like you guys, I had it all: the games (Red, Silver, both Stadiums, Pokemon Snap, Pinball, Pokemon Puzzle League, and "Hey You, Pikachu", which was the worst game ever), I had the original Pikachu tamagotchi-like thing, and was obessed with collecting the cards (I still have all of mine, and I have some pretty rare ones like the japanese Mew from the Fossil set that I pulled from a pack). I have a lot of the stuffed pokemon, especially Pikachu and Poliwhirl (yes, they made one of that).

But I think I can top you all: I have a pet snake named Pikachu. 7 1/2 years old and I got him about 2 weeks before the original Red/Blue games were released.

I can basically pinpoint the exact moment I was no longer into pokemon: It was early July of 2001, I was looking in a collectible shop on my vacation in Florida, and saw a promo card I didn’t have. I tried to grab it and buy it, but something inside me said "It’s just not worth it anymore." I really don’t know if this was before or after Pokemon Gold/Silver came out, but that was at least the point I stopped collecting the cards, anyways.

Then I heard about Pokemon Crystal and then the Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald games, not to mention the rehashed Red/Green ones, then I said "screw it, It’s just not worth it anymore."

I hope there’s actually a SNT tonight…

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 02/04/2006 2:17 PM

Back when Pokemon first started airing on a local Fox station, I was a fan. Then it got popular. My nephew now has all of my Pokemon stuff. I was the same way with anime. Robotech got me hooked. Then it got popular and they started importing a lot more shows, shows that were meant for eight year olds in Japan but because of strong language and violence they got billed here in the U.S. as adult programming. Needless to say I never watch adult swim on Saturdays and the only anime that I watch are Robotech aka Super Dimensional Fortress Macross, and Akira. Not that watching anime is bad; I’m just not into it.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/04/2006 2:53 PM

Though Robotech is a kids show in Japan and, thanks to crafty editing, here in the U.S.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/04/2006 2:55 PM

8 hours 25 minutes till Steve Martin. I am so stoked, forgive me.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 02/04/2006 3:11 PM

Edited from Maceoss:
quick nudity
lots of blood

Kept in Robotech:
heavy storylines
interracial (and interspecies) romance
blowing up of huge amounts of property

Despite the soap opera-ish tendencies, I cheered when Rick Hunter chose Lisa Hayes over that ditz Lyn Minmay.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/04/2006 4:20 PM

kingklash- Right on man, right on.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/04/2006 4:30 PM

I’m always on the ball. It sucked in school, though, because I was always getting shit on for liking anime and such. One time my best friend and I went to class freshman year in our RHPS t-shirts and some asshole actually told us that Rocky Horror is a stupid movie about lesbians. I think it disturbed everyone in my little town that I actually had a personality and my interests weren’t limited to "hanging out and shopping."

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/04/2006 4:30 PM

Mystie- You sound bitter about this. Want to tell me about it?

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/04/2006 4:33 PM

I’m bitter about a lot of things. High school, the job market, my stupid ex who even though says he wants to sell all his material possessions and move to a hippy commune had NO DAMN RIGHT SELLING OUR LUPIN III PACHINKO MACHINE BECAUSE I PAID FOR HALF OF IT!!!

*growl**snap**bite**bite*

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/04/2006 4:53 PM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 at 11:42 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.