X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

01/04/2006: New Article: Book Reports. Plus Turtle Comms!

If you can believe the rumors, there might be a new, normal, regular X-E article up. Book Reports is its name, and its game is reviewing five different children’s books that for one reason or another manage to make me turn glee into a verb and glee my way to Happyland. Everything from the Berenstain Bears to the Jolly Green Giant to God and dinosaurs, all in one space, with yummy parchment background. Enjoy.

In other news, I received a package the other day from my editor at Box Office Magazine, and assumed it was just another in a long line of “generic” gifts companies send to their clients and cohorts. This would’ve been fine by me: A gift is a gift. But something tells me that vintage TMNT Turtle Comms aren’t something companies send in mass to their contacts…

As it turns out, my editor had this baby and figured I might like it, and I figure she’s right, because I somehow never landed myself a Turtle Comm toy in all my years of Turtleing. It’s neat. Comes with all of these character cards with specific Morse codes that let you contact them, or at least, let you pretend you’re in contact with ‘em. I can’t believe I now have the means to play Walkie Talkie with Usagi Yojimbo, and this is definitely the kind of gift that’ll get me to lower my rate on articles written at 3 AM the night before a 9 AM deadline. Thanks, C!

She even included a note saying that she liked the 2005 Advent Calendar, which is my perfect segue into answering the question of a few who asked: Yes, it’s been archived, and it can be found here. Will put the archive on the headlines list on the main page as soon as I write up the descriptions.

3 Stupid Things I’m Currently Into:
1) King Kong lore. Bit by the bug after seeing the remake (which was excellent), I’ve been immersing myself in All Things Kong. I’m really fascinated with the many interpretations of what goes on on Skull Island, and that’s reason enough to see virtually all Kong-related films ever made. Next on my list is Son of Kong, and from what I’ve read, I think this will be one to review on the site.

2) Metroid Prime Pinball, for the Nintendo DS. Bought this baby with a Christmas gift certificate, because the holidays are the only time my video game library ever grows. This is one addictive little bitch. I’m a sucker for virtually every pinball game I’ve ever played, and this one doesn’t disappoint. The Metroid theme is in more than just music and graphics, too. Heck, you don’t shoot a ball, you shoot a rolled-up Samus who occassionally spreads out ot shoot demon bats with high energy beams. Between this and Mario Kart, I have found my offerings to the gods of procrastination.

3) The Secret Life of Lobsters. I’m really not sure where this book is going yet. It’s obstensibly about the lobsters of Maine, but I may have been tricked into reading a novel about fisherman and scientists trying to find common ground. Not really sure yet, but they dangle the big claws often enough to keep me interested.

I had one of these as a kid. My god I had forgotten all about it… um… I wonder where I put it…

I found a few of the character cards at the bottom of a drawer while cleaning recently and I couldn’t remember what they were a part of. Now I remember.

I want that Turtle Comm. My brother and I always played with Ninja Turtles at a young and innocent age (we wereeither 6 or 7 the year they were unleashed on the world). Yeah!!! Remember the talking ones with the cord you put through the slots on the shell, and when you pulled the cord through really quickly, they would talk, but it wasn’t really clear, but kind of cool to hear the Turtles talk outside of voices you made up…ok, so maybe you weren’t me and my brother. Or maybe you were. Then again, we used to act like Wayne and Garth when we were 9.

On one last note–Leonardo looks like he’s constipated in that picture. “Must…squeeze…harder…stomach…tied…in…knots…must go…to…bathroom…”

Wow- very jealous- a REAL Turtle Com! Good stuff. Speaking of addictive video games…

I got a NAMCO Plug N Play for Xmas- the Mrs. Pacman one, that comes with 4 other games, including Mappy.

I originally wanted it for the ability to plug a controller directly into the TV and then be able to play Mrs. PacMan…then I got addicted to MAPPY! I used to HATE that f**king little mouse when I was a kid, and now my hands resemble the lobster claws Matt has been reading about!

That Berenstain Bears book always made the junk food look so shiny and appealing. Out of curiousity, isn’t it Choco Chums?

Just saw the article- THE BERENSTEIN BEARS AND TOO MUCH JUNK FOOD?!! My absolute favorite of them all! Yes! Thank you, Matt- and yeah, the junk food in that book looked so damn GOOD.
JessicaMarie- I think is IS Choco Chums…I remember because I always wanted to find them in stores.

I still have my turtle comm and I ocasionally find the little pictures in boxes of junk and uderneath various items in the basement. I never really played with mine though. If it wasn’t an action figure then I wouldn’t bother wasting my time.

I can’t remember if it was myself or my friends that had a ShellCell, but I certainly don’t remember the character cards. I had to make up Morse code addresses for the Turtles, and lemme tell ya, that Baxter Stockman does not like it when you call him looking for Ralph at three in the morning.

Metroid Prime Pinball is so freaking fun. I got it for Christmas and I’ve been playing non-stop. Now if only I could figure out how to beat Meta-Ridley. :/

<3 <3 <3 Berenstein bears. Me and my cousin used to take 10 of them, stick them all within each other, and make a super-long book. Yeah we were stupid.

Too Much Junk Food was not just one of the Berenstain Bears books I owned. It was the first one I ever owned. The books were good though I didn’t like it how the way Papa Bear was depicted, he made Homer Simpson look like a Mensa member.

Besides the pink popcorn, I myself wondered about those green and orange striped cubes pictured in the title to make up the word "junk food". What were those? Hard candies? Bubble gum? Expired Jello cubes? Anyone out there know?

I like the one where Sister Bear goes all rebel-without-a-cause and starts wearing a green jumper instead of pink. I also like Berenstain Bear Land, which was torn down some years ago and replaced with Camp Snoopy.

I am confused about one thing. If you love Dinosaurs and Berenstein Bears wouldn’t the logical book selection have been Berenstein Bears and the Missing Dinosaur Bone?

The only thing cooler than owning a Turtle Comunicator toy would be modding a cell phone into one.

You see, my friend and I were going to play Ninja Turtles. Not with action figures, for when we said "play Ninja Turtles" we meant we would beat the holy hell out of each other with whatever wooden sticks we could find, until one of us got pissed or started bleeding.

This was par for the course. My Turtle Comm was fairly new, and I decided that since I had just gotten it, I got to be the Turtle, and my friend was going to be Krang.

We argued, we shoved, and ultimately we fell to the ground and wrestled on concrete. And in the fight…My shiny Turtle Comm was crushed beyond repair.

"there might be a new, normal, regular X-E article up." Right? I knew some one who had one of those Turtle Comms and I did not have one so of course to this day I hate him.

Mother Brain living parasitically inside Brother Bear is the most frightening image I have ever seen on the entire internet.

Out of all the Berenstain bears books out there, I just happened to buy my niece the junk food book for Christmas, due to her diet consisting of nothing but cookies. It makes for a good read for adults as well. Good choice there, Matt.

Never saw those books before. However, I have driven by the "real" Jolly Green Giant several times on road trips in Minnesota. It’s just kinda sitting there in the middle of a field, where he belongs.
I’m glad there’s others out there who had a daily appointment with The Price is Right. I loved plinko. I have a garage door that has no auto-opener, so I get out of the car and shut it. When I do, it helps to imagine it’s The Big Wheel.

I loved that Junk Food book as a kid, and like you I spent most of the time dreaming of how delicious those candy items looked, and how cooley packaged they were. I mean, WE never have nondescript multicolored ball candies in large acrylic boxes.

Ah, there’s nothing to take the stress out of an upcoming long and hellish weekend like coming to X-E and finding an update. Starting tomorrow, I cart 23 years’ worth of junk out of my parents’ house and into my very first apartment. Here’s hoping I don’t kill the boyfriend or any family members in the process. At least I’ll have a computer available to me on weekends that I don’t need to kill my little brother to use for five minutes.

Matt, I’m 23 and I still pick up children’s books all the time. And my favorite place to get any books is at thrift stores. From the time I was a small child, my mother would drag me along with her in her quest to find cheap clothes and whatever other crap she could, and I’d be just fine being left at the book section for as many hours as it took. I still go there these days, usually with my mom, and browse for forgoten Gothic novels and mostly for old children’s books I had as a kid. Recently I picked up several picture books about kittens, the Pink Panther and Lamb Chops. And you’re totally right about books there being cheap…about the only time I have to shell out more than a buck is if I fall in love with a hardcover book. Though everything else has indeed gone up. My best thrift store find was a Rio (of Jem fame) outfit still on the card, granted missing a shoe and on a rather destroyed card, for 99 cents. I sold it on ebay for about $20, I think. Dammit, now I’m pining to make a trip to some of the thrift stores around here and see what I can dig up…

I LOVED the Berenstein Bears ever so much. I had Too Much Junk Food and I too was completely hypnotized by all the pretty yummies. I’ve got to find all the old books I had as a kid…they’ve got to be lying around in storage somewhere.

If you’re looking for pink popcorn, you can go here. It’s not exactly pink, but they do have rainbow oooooo.

I loved this book report article! One of my favorites in a long time! OK, so it’s one of the only in a long time, but that doesn’t diminish it’s greatness. I’m 26 and I still buy and read old children’s books all the time!

Also, you can get pink popcorn at Salem Willows (fake amusement type park) here in Salem, MA. It’s Wintergreen flavored!

Wow, I totally forgot about Berenstein Bear’s Too Much Junk Food! It was definitely one of my favorites…along with the one where they get the Gimme Gimmes. I was obsessed with the food pictures too. I’m so glad you reviewed it.

mmm, I had a whole bunch of Berenstein Bears books, and I remember the candy, and the Gimme Gimme’s.

It’s sad that one of them died, but to tell you the truth, I didn’t even know they were alive at all!

Allison:
Shingles is actually an illness common of the elderly and those w/compromised immune systems (due to cancer or various illnesses).
just off the top of your head, how common is it for immuno-suppressed people? Because that doesn’t sound like something I would enjoy at all.

Great book reports, Matt! I was thrilled to see the Berenstein Bears on there. I liked that one a lot and the Too Much T.V. book. We had a lot of them as kids or I took them out of the library and was very sad to hear that Stan Berenstein passed away recently. thanks for the trip down memory lane and hope your eyes are better and back to their natural color!!

I had one of those ninja turtle comm things when i was a kid but never knew what it was because i had gotten it at a neighborhood garage sale, and the morse code sticker was ripped off. To me it was just a turtle shaped ball that made a dieing baby seal noise and lit up some dim lights when you pressed a button. Thank you oh so much! Everything in the world has come together now.

Kidneyboy–you’re ok as long as you don’t become exposed to chicken pox. That seems to run rampant during the summer. I had an ear infection two weeks before I got the shingles, and in that time I may have been exposed to chicken pox. Not sure who though. Just be careful, especially during the summer–are you immuno-compromised b/c of ur kidney transplant??? You’re eligible for the vaccination I think.

Yes, a new vaccination for the shingles was approved last year–I don’t think I can get the vaccination b/c I had it already, but once you have had it you’re not likely to get it again. I’ve had relatives who had it, and they never had it again. *Knocks on wood*.

Nice book report. I was always fond of the Gremlins storybooks that came with the little seven inch records. Sure, the left out some of the more PG-13 parts of the movie, but they were great additions to one’s Gremlins collection.

First, Matt, Troll Book Club, holy crap that brought back memories. Sometimes I would buy books for the sake of handing in that cool order form.

Second, Too Much Junk Food, is also my fav BB book. The junk food looked so wonderful. I always wanted my junk to look that delectable.

They actually made a fifteen minute episode of Too Much Junk Food on the BB T.V. Show which I saw recently. Obviously they didn’t make an episode of Too Much T.V.
Remeber that one where they come up with the chore list? That was totally unfair. I hate Mama Bear, she’s a terrible mother and Papa should leave her.

I always loved children’s books that had maps in them. What sticks out in my mind right now is (are?) the Sweet Pickles books. It showed the whole neighborhood and where everyone lived. I can’t remember what any of the books were about, but I loved that map. I used to look at it and imagine driving down the imaginary streets and which streets I would take to get from one place to another. There’s no way I can justify it and make it sound like I wasn’t a weird kid. I was. Now I’m just a weird adult.

Sweet Pickles books were MY FAVORITE! They had a different animal for each letter of the alphabet, I think. God, i hadnt thought about that forever…click my name, it lists them all…but sadly, none of the psychedelic pictures.

holy hell, that makes me want to just track them all down and re-buy them. i bet they were still in my parents attic till like 3 years ago when they sold their house. sick.

does anyone (in their late 20’s) remember a set of books that had semi-biographical stories about famous people, but each person had a little imaginary sidekick that personified a character trait? yes, you are probably thinking WTF if you dont know what I’m talking about. there was a whole set of them. i remember there was one about marie curie and i think her sidekick was a little guy shaped like a test tube. they were about people like abraham lincoln, albert schweitzer, harriet tubman, etc.

I had that Berenstein Bear book in my youth and I too fantasized over what the fucking hell was that junk food. It must be good, the kids and that oaf father are eating it by the truckloads! I too went to catholic school, except on tuesday nights, which is waaayyy worse than saturday mornings I tell you.

Schroeder- YES! I do remember those, although I can’t help you with the name of them. It was a great way for kids to read about boring people and learn things- I read the Marie Curie one, and also one about Louis Pasteur, the milk pasturization guy.

I loved The Berenstein Bears books. Other series I enjoyed were Ramona, Curious George, and DEFINATELY Encycopedia Brown. Are Golden Books even made today? They made plenty though. Also had a Turtlecom. It was cool for about ten minutes before boredom set in.

Always wanted a Teddy Ruxpin but never got one. Surprised it hasn’t made a nostalgic comeback, although obviously technology has grown so Teddy wouldn’t stand a chance today.

I loved Press Your Luck when USA Network showed gameshows. This is probably the only time when I actually rooted for contestants to lose because the Whammies were so damn cool. The new version wasn’t bad, but lacked that spark of the original.

Scrhoeder- I also sorta remember those things. I don’t remember the sidekick part, but I did read one on Dr. Seuss and the teacher who died in the original Challenger explosion.

Does anyone remember Zoobooks? Those were great. They still get pimped on tv occaisionally. The Troll Book Club ruled.

BTW, CCD stands for Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. I had to go on Wednesday nights. Boo.

Somewhere in the basement is a whole stack of old Berenstein Bear books, including the four released exclusively to McDonalds at the time: Life with Papa, the one where they get rude beaver neighbors, and two others I don’t remember.

There WAS a point in the early 90’s when Stan and Jan tried Bear books for an older audience. Brother Bear was faced with drug pushers. I’m serious.

Sorry to threadjack…but I came acros your posts from a few months ago detailing your sadness at Paul Deanno’s departure from Philly.

I worked at CBS3 during the time you interned (I was Bob Kelly’s producer) until their traffic service, Metro, laid me off at the end of September. And Paul was always one of my favorite people there…he ruled in every way possible. Once he made a reference to "Transformers" on the air I knew he was kickass.

I can’t wait until he gets situated in Miami; he’s getting an email from me the second it becomes available on the website. So far nothing yet. I’ve already told my friend Dan’s mom, who was relocated to Miami 3 years ago, to start watching NBC6.

Oh my god!! Mike! I remember you! How are you?! How did you know it was me? That is really cool. Where you at now? I’m attempting to get an advertising job right now–got a few leads going. Trying to get into the creative end of advertising. fun fun fun.

BTW, everyone–I got an interview on Monday in Center City Philly at an ad agency! Apparently, they got my resume 5 months ago when I emailed it.

J, I had CCD on Thursday nights– first grade through 8th. In 7th and 8th, CCD was taught at people’s houses b/c there wasn’t enough room in the church basement. My dad taught it in 7th and 8th grades.

Schroeder, those books you’re talking about are the Value Tales. I used to have three of them about Abe Lincoln, Louis Pasteur, and Cochise.

Lucky, the book with Mama Bear punishing everyone with chores was "Forget Their Manners". I wonder how she enforced those rules anyway. Maybe when we weren’t looking, she threatened her family with a 10-gauge for non-compliance.

Congrats on the interview! And here I always thought that when a company told you that they "kept your resume on file", they really just burned it.

I’m working at Traffic.com now, which has CBS3 as a client, although I am no longer producing for Bob. Instead, I’m gathering traffic info for Denver, CO (but doing it from their Phila. office).

The non-compete contract I was forced to sign to get the job at metro in the first place prevents me from directly competing with them for a year.

Yeah, in other words, they not only laid me off, but also said that I couldn’t work Philly traffic at Traffic.com because I’d be competing against them. I was never important enough to get full-time pay or, after September, even keep employed…yet if I wanted to hone the talents I learned elsewhere after THEY made the decision to terminate my employment…then all of a sudden I can’t do such a thing.

My elementary school did the Troll Book Club/Fair as well. I used to LOVE buying the books from the form–my mom always let me get 4 books at a time. I always loved those order forms–and I still read alot. My parents got me "The World According to Mr. Rogers" for my graduation. I love stuff like that! My mom bought it though–it was definitely her personal touch.

My favorite books are pop culture stuff–my favorites are "Jump the Shark," 2 SNL books–the uncensored tell-all expose of "Saturday Night Live," "Saturday Night Live: Equal Opportunity Offender," by former NBC Censor William Clotworthy, and all five of Dennis Miller’s Rants series. The fifth is an audiobook, which I downloaded onto my iPod from iTunes.

Did anyone here ever read "Disclosure"??? I read it in 12th grade, and my mom REFUSED to let me take it to school–I was already a geeky kid–she said an 18-year old taking a sexually explicit book to study hall wouldn’t be appropriate. So, I had to read it at home. That’s fine–I didn’t feel like hearing everyone making fun of my sophisticated reading material.

Isn’t that technically illegal on their part, Mike? They’re basically not allowing you to work. But, I guess if you’re working, that’s all that matters, right?

I’m one of those theorists that says that when they claim to keep your resume on file, they actually shred it while they laugh hysterically at your horrible misfortune. Wow, that sounded dramatic.

That really sucks about what they did, making you sign a no-compete and all, but maybe after a year they will give you Philly traffic.

Yeah, technically it was illegal. And, minus Metro of course, all sides agreed that Metro would have gotten laughed out of court had it come to that.

Problem is, none of the companies involved that could have gotten me producing Philly traffic under a different umbrella than Metro felt like going to court. Would have been much easier for them to just assign a new producer already in-house than hire someone who comes with "baggage" and spent money/time in court.

But yeah, what counts is that I didn’t completely scare off Traffic.com…I’m still able to work for them, doing any job in any city…except Phila.

Besides, Traffic.com rules in the sense that it’s giving me full-time and benefits…something Metro never did…yet I (and everyone else who was ever employed and laid off by them) signed the Non compete under the (false) pretenses that our jobs WOULD turn into fulltime.

Yeah, to anyone else who’s reading this, go to http://www.traffic.com for your traffic information; they produce up-to-date traffic reports for every city in the country and give you the info for free.

I can’t remember most of the books I used to read as a kid. There were a LOT of them, I was a big reader.

I do remember I really liked The Very Hungry Caterpillar for many years past the point where I should get that enthused about a counting book.

But, most of the ones I remember are the ghost story books. One in particular that I owned and read again and again was Grandpa’s Ghost Stories. Each chapter, the little boy ends up in a new predicament with different monsters. At one point, which I remember best, he is carried off by a giant disembodied hand, and taken to a furry house. I always loved the illustrations in that one.

Another series, that I took out of the library over and over were the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. The stories in them weren’t particularly frightening to me, because I was a pretty macabre kid, watching B-horror movies on TV with my mom before I started school. What really got me were the illustrations. They were these weird pen and ink and watercolor drawings that looked like something from your semiconcious. They would be clearly representative of something, but would trail off in places to allow your imagination to fill in. Awful, hairy, creepy, dark things seemed to be just beyond what you could see. My favorite illustration was for a story about the fatal prom dress (a girl rents a dress, ends up passing out and dying at the dance, the dress was from a dead girl, embalming fluid from it seeped into the renter’s skin as she sweated at the dance). The picture was ostensibly of a dress on a hanger, but it gave the impression of someone in it, that it was half decaying at the bottom, and there was a half-seen leg coming down from the bottom. Creeped me out. I always was a little scared to be home alone whenever I had one of those books out.

Years later, when I was in college, I saw the complilation of all the Scary Stories books (including one that came out after I had stopped reading them) and I bought it. I ended up taking it to my parents house, because having it in my room at college was creeping me out. I couldn’t sleep well knowing it was sitting on my shelf.

Yep, that book still can creep me out. I loaned it out to my cousin’s ten-year-old daughter. I haven’t had a chance to ask her if it is keeping her from sleeping.

Honestly, I wish no permanent ill will towards Metro or anyone else…I guess they just did what they had to do.

Oh wow, I’d totally forgotten about so many of these books from my childhood! I liked the Berenstein Bears alot, probably because my grandparents always had kids books that enforced manners, like Richard Scarry’s Best Books of Please & Thank-You Ever, or something. Nothing against Richard Scarry, he’s totally my favourite.

I also loved those Jolly Postman books, with all the envelopes and stuff? And of course, "junior novelizations" of random movies and cheap tv shows - always a classic. With eight colour photos!

My parents still have all of our Berenstein Bears and most of our Golden Books at their house. We’ve been getting Berenstein Bear books for at least 20 years. Mom wrote mine and my sisters’ full names on the inside front cover of one of the oldest books (I think it’s "In the Dark"), and according to it, I was 6 when the book was purchased, one sister was 5, and the other was so little, her age isn’t listed. Yes, we had "Junk Food"; it wasn’t my favorite (I thought "Vacation" was hilarious), but it was cute, especially since I’ve had similar problems with weight battles.

Like Matt, I still read children’s books quite frequently; unlike Matt, I’m a big reader, mostly mysteries and adventure stories. I collect "American Girls" books and will still occasionally read Nancy Drew when I’m feeling nostalgic.

I do remember the Turtle Comn, but we never had it. We loved the Turtle cartoons and movies, but we never had the toys (Mom might have said we were too old by then or we just were more into the cartoons and movie).

I remember those old Berenstein Bears books, I had lots of them when I was a kid. I also had lots of those Peanuts Encyclopedia things where they have facts on science and other stuff with Peanuts characters doing things. But I always liked the Where’s Waldo ones best.

Mama Bear looks like that old woman in those Tom and Jerry cartoons that tells her Thomas to sto pbeing a bad cat. You never see anything above her waist, but the clothes are somewhat similar.

I found the comment on pee-wee’s playhouse funny because I had a friend who stopped showing up to CCD in second grade. When we questioned her as to why she stopped coming, she told us that she could not attend because she was missing pee-wee’s playhouse. She’s going to hell, and Pee-Wee will be right beside her.

I stopped going to church when Nickelodeon had the Sunday morning line up of Rugrats, Ren and Stimpy and Rocko’s Modern Life….good times.

Allison, I had CCD with Sister Mary Ruth who used to grab my very long hair and tell me she was going to cut it off "because only harlots had long hair"… I had to deal with her from 3rd - 6th grade. Wow CCD was awesome!

I stopped going to church after that time Lonnie threw my shoe out the window so I kicked him in the balls. Ah, sweet retribution….

Currently, a Teddy Ruxpin comeback is planned! Teddyruxpin.com has a preorder up…supposed to be available for Christmas, but delayed till Feb. DVD;s of the cartoon available this month! yay!!

I too had one of those Turtle Comms. I adored the thing, and I remember irritating my entire family with the loud-ass ‘morse code’ beeper.

I got one of those for one of my firends on his B-day. Back then, we were so stupid that we were actually expecting that you could really speak with the likes of Leonardo and the others. Kids may be able to kick our asses, but they’re still fantasy-believing idiots.

It’s a rare occasion that I actually owned one of the ole school toys around here, but I had the hell out of that Turle Comm. I can hear that morse beep right now.
I just finished a semester of Language Arts in early childhood ed, which meant lots of children’s books. Lots and lots of children’s books. For my final project I got to read Curious George Rides a Bike to the class using a monkey puppet I named Coconut. Oh yeah.
I’m way into Kong since seeing the current incarnation as well. I went into it expecting cool in the form of Jables rocking it 30’s style and nifty CGI but it walked out all weepy and heart warmed and devoted. I guess I wasn’t counting on my predisposion to love gorillas in all forms, especially vaudeville loving ice skating ones. I have the original version sitting on the Teefaux, just waiting for the right evening…got The Frighteners sitting on there too for the additional Peter Jackson-age.

I love the CCD memories. CCD was so totally random/bizarre, based on the stories I’ve heard talking about it with my friends who suffered through it as well.

Here is what we did in CCD, which met on Sunday mornings for preschool-6th grade, Wednesday mornings for 7th grade on:

–Watch a really bad series of videos called McGee and Me
–Watch a really bad video every year called Camp Sacrament
–Make patron saint t-shirts with puffy paint
–have sex ed night in eighth grade
–had a "celebration of reconciliation" in which we were handed an ancient, mimeographed examination of conscience in which "writing in textbooks" and "throwing food in the cafeteria" were both listed as sins you could sort of check off on a little list (other notable entries: "smoking" and "making a sibling cry")

and now for the truly bizarre…
–my seventh grade ccd teacher told us to prepare for a "special" night in which we brought snacks and she would share something very special iwth us. what she did was hang six pack pop rings from the ceiling (a bunch of them all tied together, this is hard to describe) and light them on fire so they sort of slowly burned WHILE PLAYING JOHN LENNON’S "Imagine"

I was wondering what the hell the Troll Book Club was, but reading the comments….DAAAAAAAAMN!!! Now I remember! I ordered many a book from there, and went to several a Book Fair (even when it changed over to Scholastic Book Fair/Club)

I don’t really remember Too Much Junk Food, but I probably have read it at some point in my childhood. I DO remember Too Much TV, as well as the one where Sister Bear develops the habit of chewing her nails. (a habit which has sadly come full circle to me in the past year) Speaking of which, why on earth did Mama & Papa name Brother Bear "Brother"? Did they know they were gonna do the Horizontal Monster Mash again in the near future?

I DID have a Teddy Ruxpin, and not once did I catch a "Chucky" vibe from it. (that honor went to this stuffed gorilla that was owned by my mom that she put in my Toy Chest. I couldn’t sleep for 6 years in fear that it would come to life and kill me in the middle of the night. Then it got sold at a garage sale and I’ve been a lazy ass ever since.)

Invader Norbert: In the first book, "The Berenstein Bears and the New Baby," Sister Bear is born and until she is, Brother Bear is called "Baby Bear."

Also, I too am an escapee of CCD, and I’ve had it both on Saturday Mornings AND Weeknights (I forget which one). It had its shares of ups and downs, with the Saturday one being that I had ot get up early as well as missing Saturday Morning TV (Pee Wee’s Playhouse was long gone when I went in). And weeknights were crap because even though both classes dragged on and on and on…and on, that I couldn’t finish my homework on that night.

Okay, maybe it is the lack of sleep talking, but I laughed harder than I have in years at your review of TOO MUCH JUNK FOOD.

It’s good to see I’m not the only person reading and collecting children’s books. I actually own a tapeless Sprout’s Valley Adventure too, and I laughed my ass off all through it. My greatest recent finds are four ALF kids books… oh yea. And my fav Bernstein Bear book is the when they Get the Gimmes. Awesome stuff.

Even if that Tarzan guy is supposed to be Noah’s son, that doesn’t explain why he’s dressed like that.

Oh man, Too Much Junk Food’s art reminds me of the jelly beans from this Muppet Babies book I had. They looked so damn good. Enough to make me chomp down every red jelly bean I saw, even though they were most likely cinna-satan flavor.

gonna be off topic. . .
anyone watch The Office last night? I am starting to look forward to it as though it’s a soap opera. Dwight steering the boat at the end was priceless.

I remember the book clubs, but I went to private Christian elementary school, so the noah book may have been on the list. I always wondered why the Catholic kids went to church so often. I guess now I know. Kinda.

kb, I was jonesing for that new Office ep like mad. Now that I’m familiar with the storylines from the UK version I was a bit concerned about where they were going to be heading with Pam and Jim but they seem to be taking it in a little bit different direction. Actually the new ep wasn’t as overwhelmingly hilarious as some others have been but the bit where Jim tries to work up his nerve was worth the wait. All verklempt and whatnot.
Back on the Kong topic: Am I the only one rocking catchphrases from the movie? Mr. Hayes’s impassioned cries of "Jimmy!" have totally worked their way into my vocab…I also shout "Koooooong!" at what I judge to be appropriate moments.

I think that book clubs contributed to my love of online shopping. I remember them passing out those small paper catalogs. I’d decide what I wanted and, if I was lucky enough to have money that month (or mom was having a good day and able to be talked into paying), I’d actually place an order. Then there’d be that glorious day when you’d walk into class and your gear would be waiting at your desk. It’s the same thrill I still get when I’m waiting for something cool and I see that UPS box at the front door.

By the way, did anyone have RIF (Reading Is Fundamental) books? That was the coolest day of the year. At my school, they’d take you into the library and everyone could have one free (usually very thin) paperback book. I think it was a federal program, but I don’t remember. I still have my copy of Freaky Friday. What a great book. I’m in the mood to read it right now, actually.

kb - I never miss The Office! The only thing that sucks is that now I have to tape it. I only have two favorite shows and it seems completely unfair that the programming gods have seen fit to schedule them at the same time. How scheduling The Office against the most-watched show in America (CSI) is supposed to save it, I don’t know. I’m glad it’s found it’s own niche though. Those first season episodes that were direct copies of the BBC ones just drew unflattering comparisons. The feel of the shows is too different for that. I loved the British version, but once you stop comparing them, you can enjoy the American one so much more.

"gonna be off topic. . .
anyone watch The Office last night? I am starting to look forward to it as though it’s a soap opera. Dwight steering the boat at the end was priceless. "

I watched it, I never miss it. Yeah, they are adding some drama. My girlfriend and I feel really bad for Jim. I doubt Jim and Pam will ever actually get together. Jim was really pissed and upset. I loved the whole scene when the captain asked someone to hold the limbo stick. Dwight insisted holding it. The captain told dwight usually a woman holds it and dwight responded, yea but I’m stronger. ha.

Lori I totally agree with you that it’s much more enjoyable if you dont try to compare the two Offices. I absolutely love the BBC version and I absolutely love the US version, but for totally different reasons. I’m glad the plots are starting to diverge from eachother, but I will be pissed if Jim and Pam dont end up together in the end like Tim and Dawn did.

Lori, it’s not NBC trying to save The Office, it’s NBC hoping The Office can save them. They’re banking on it helping them win back Thursdays…I didn’t know it was up against CSI though…that doesn’t seem like a great thing to go up against for any fledgling show.
Anybody read The Great Brain series as a kid?

squee
was that with encyclopedia Brown? I read those ones.
I remember reading books where in the end of the book the solutions were backwards. **fuzzy memories**

Busy blog today! Love it.
I avoided UK Office for a long time since I was really excited about the HHGTTG movie and didn’t want to see Martin Freeman as anyone but Arthur. That movie sucked, so my priorities were totally off.
Great Brain was about Catholic kids living in predominantly Morman Utah. Not sure the time period, but they were the first family in their town to get an "indoor water closet". Illustrations were by Mercer Mayer. I loved Encyclopedia B too.

Hitchiker’s Guide was a huge disappointment for me too. Dont even think I finished watching it.

I used to read all kinds of books in school. Except the "icky girl books." Anyone ever read "Arrow To The Sun" in elementery? That is one of my favorite all-time books. I had great reading skills as a kid, so I was already into Clarke, Bradbury, and Asimov by the time I got into junior high. Even now, I still recommend "The Fun They Had" to my young nieces and nephews.

off subject, kinda of, everyone is talking about ccd and stuff and religion kids books.

I collect records(for sampling, so the odder the better)I picked up soley because of the cover. I had a weird cartoon robot and cartoon kids on the front. I didn’t really take notice of the title. I go home and play it. During the first track the kids go to a mad doctor’s house. When they get there, he presents to the kids a robot. A robot created to teach the kids songs about god and Dejesus. I take a look at the cover and the title reads something like, Johnny (5) the robot sings songs of joy.

When I was little I had a record called "The Music Machine" and it started with a skit where two little kids met a magical machine that played songs about jesus. They would stick an object in the machine and it would make up a jesus song related to the object.

I’m protestant, and I was so jealous when my best friend had her first communion and got all kinds of presents.

Hate to post all over the place but. . .
**schroeder** did you also have "Bullfrogs and Butterflies"? I think every church going family in the 80’s had that record. I also remember a SUPER freaky blue guy called Psalty the singing songbook.

YES! I’m choking on my flashbacks! The trauma of being a cynical, rebellious little girl trapped in a super happy christian world was just too much to bear sometimes. All my friends wanted to BE those kids on those albums, and I wanted to kick them in the head and go home.

KB: Are you talking about the various "Choose Your Adventure" or "Clue" books with the multiple endings? Those were fun.

Anoher series of books I enjoyed were "Ms. Piggley Wiggley." It was basically about a bunch of brats who had something happened to them: Ex: If you were constantly angry, you turned red. Jealous? Got turned into a frog. They were then taught a lesson and Piggley Wiggley turned them back to normal.

There were a series of "mystery" books about a dog, a cat, and I believe a rabbit that got into Scooby-Doo like adventures.

My favorite Troll Books: The Puppy Nobody Wanted. Great drawing of a sad puppy on the front. Obviously it ends happily. Also, 101 Mummy Facts. I used that for a diarama in one of my middle school classes later.

Those childrens books sure do bring back memories. I had the Berenstein Bears Junk Food book and the Dinosaur one. I still like to read childrens books and get to often now with a one year old. She has sooo many books because I cant resist the pretty artwork… Golden Books still exist and they just recently rereleased some of the old favorites like the Pokey Little Puppy and The Color Kittens (still cant find this one…GRrrr). I still read alot, mostly fantasy/sci fi books.

I loved Book Fairs andd the Scholastic Book Club. My parents would usually give me money for the fairs and sometimes would show up to go with me when parents could come. They were awesome because they had books with stickers. Books with stickerse rock.

Does anyone remember the name of a book series for children that was focused around a unicorn? She had all these animal friends and the books came with stickers… I cant remember the name of them which is a shame because my daughter would like them.

I posted this on the old thread grr….
I just had a late christmas present. I was out of koolaid, (somebody took it!! I swear they did I had two fruit punches and one orange) and my sister (I am living with her to get back on my feet, I have a job but it’s not much yet) takes out this small tupperware retro tub and she offers these packets from the stoneage! And guess what I found GHOULAID!! It was sweet, it’s sitting in a ziplock packet in the closet now, with some mountain twist cranberry raspberry. Is that just as rare? the art looked very simple. I am keeping it though, and I made up a batch of lemonade tea ice T kind. I am sitting on my high horse now cause that’s my fave. I think Ghoulaid would be better, but it’s so rare I am just going to keep it.

Kittycatgirl - I totally had The Colour Kittens too! With the record that you played along with it! And at the end they knocked over all the paint cans and made a rainbow…sigh.
Did anyone else have those books that came with records? Mine were all hand me downs from my older sister, all my friends at the time had books with tapes.

I loved Arrow to the Sun. Mainly because the art and various kivas made it look like a videogame.

I was such a nerd, I entered a horor book of the month club, where every month, a stupid plastic bag with handles that snapped together would come to my house, complete with a bunch of random horror books.

I remember there usually being this little pocket sized book about a specific topic like Vampires or Ghosts too.

It was actually quite sweet, and I kept in the club for months until I got one of those Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books. One picture of a girl with spiders coming out her face. Yeah, that gave me nightmares for weeks and I cancelled it.

JLJARC
I think it was maybe the Clue books, not sure. I do remember Mrs Piggle Wiggle though. I wanted to go to her house SO BAD. Remember the Slow-Eater-Tiny-Bite-Taker? It was like a pre-teen girl with an eating disorder.

I remember one of those Scary Stories books, but my overactive imagination causes me to get frightened…easily.

Also, there’s still no 25th Advert! When will we see the final piece of the X-E Xmas Puzzle??

KB: That name does sound familiar, but it’s been years since I’ve read them. Haven’t been to Elementary school in 15 years.

Speaking of horror books, I’m suprised no ones mentioned the Goosebumps books that were megapopular back then. Those were fun.

I read tons of the icky girl books…Little House, American Girls, Bobsey Twins, Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley Twins, Babysitter’s Club, etc. Does Boxcar Children count?

Baby-sitters Club was awesome. I have a bunch of the TV show on VHS too and they’re hysterical.

Lizzy: I had several books that came with records, mostly Disney ones. Side One usually "read" the story and side two would have songs from the movie it was based on. I clearly remember Bambi, which came with a giant book and the old "painterly" looking artwork, Dumbo, and 101 Dalmations.

They were hand-me downs from my older cousins. I also vividly remember the books on tape craze and even though I tried to get into it I never did.

I had a book with various scary tales in it. The one that scared the crap out of me was one about a girl who always wore a ribbon around her neck. When it finally got taken off, her head rolled to the floor. The story itself didn’t bother me but it was a picture book and that, that just disturbed me. My favorite Berenstein Bears book was the one about brother bear wanting to go see a movie but his parents wouldn’t let him so he went by himself and it scared him to no end. I never really cared about the movie but I cared about the action figures that the movie was based on. Early in the book brother bear was playing with all of these awsome toys. There was a huge castle playset. It was awsome.

"The Berenstein Bears Go Into Hibernation"
It would be just 26 pages of them sleeping.
I’d buy it.

There’s a short animated film based on "Arrow…" that is really cool to watch. There’s even one based on the Author’s other book, the African folk-tale "The Magic Tree."

Off topic but I’m a rebel, my mom just handed me a King Kong toy called the Creatures of Skull Island. It has 3 different giant bugs, two natives, and one white guy whose head fits perfectly into one of the bug’s mouth. T’was beauty that killed the beast.
Oh, and did anyone read the animorphs books?

Anybody remember the My Teacher is an ALien series of books? It was about an Alien pretending to be a teacher and some kids find out about it.

Or how aobut the Mr. books. THey were a bunch of books titled Mr. Neat or Mr. Topsy-turvy.

Just got back from King Kong. Great movie. Although I know it’s a classic line, the beauty killed the beast line was kind of chessy to me. Otherwise, Great film.

Noah: I do remember those Mr. books, those were fun. Also, remember the alien teacher series even though I never read them. Cool covers mostly.

Those book clubs were notorious though for bringing fads to the front. Books/posters for every music group/teen idol of the time, movie adaption novels, character bookmarks, etc.

Darth Poop
That sounds like it’s from one of the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books I mentioned earlier. I remember that story (a man marries a woman who always wears a velvet choker, and it starts to get to him that she never takes it off. He finally takes matters into his own hands and removes it one night while she sleeps), but now I can’t check for sure if it’s in the book. "You’d be sorry if I did, so I won’t!"

Man, I wish I hadn’t loaned the book out, now I have a really strong urge to creep myself out by staring at the illustrations.

One time I took one of the books to Girl Scout sleepaway camp, I was so excited about the chance to read my favorite scary stories to the other girls, out in the deep dark woods. Unfortunately, I didn’t even get through a single one. A couple paragraphs into the first story, one of the girls and I both heard something weird outside the tent. We were discussing what we thought it might have been, a couple of the other girls got all freaked out and shrieky, and the counselor came to see what was up. She blamed the whole thing on the fact I had been reading the book (even though I hadn’t even gotten far enough to scare anyone), and I was ordered to put it in my trunk the rest of the week.

"…. And, the 25th advert entry went out to look for the conclusion of the Chia Plot, and was never seen again! Pleasant dreams, children."

I also had "Tiny Dinosaurs" as a child. It’s the book that made Deinonychus my favourite Dinosaur and years later the source of my screen name.

Did anyone else participate in the Pizza Hut Book It program at school? You’d read a couple of books and then they’d give you a coupon for a free personal pizza. It was so rad. I loved those little pizzas. I bet now I could eat like 5 of them in one sitting. Course all the grease would probably land me half-way to a heart attack, but hey! Pizza!

Mystie- I remember the Book It program. I always got a rush when my mom would hand the guy at the counter the coupon.Those little pizzas were awsome and I still have one from time to time but the pizza hut where I went to exchange a crappy piece of paper for cheesy goodness recently closed.

Speaking as an elementary school teacher, I am very familiar with the Troll and Scholastic Book Orders. It was a delicious high when I was young and we would walk past the school office and see a large box on the counter with "Troll" stamped on it. We were so anxious to receive the latest Hardy Boys: Case Files book or something written from My Little Pony’s point of view.

But now, man, those things are a bitch!! Parents who write out checks for incorrect amounts, white envelopes filled with change, special over-the-summer-vacation orders that require a separate coupon…
Well, at least the teacher bonus points make it all worthwhile.

I read so many books as a kid, I could have fed my family on Book-It. Great program, and the pins got better every year.

The "My Teacher is an Alien" series was rather odd. I believe in the last one the aliens decided to destroy Earth; does anyone know if they succeeded?

Yeah, Eddie, I was thinking the same thing. That’s 2 weeks in a row. But we actually got an article this week and that probably exerted all Matt’s energy for X-E for a while.

This was in the only book in the series I read. They wanted to blow up the Earth because it’s full of jerk-offs (Even though murdering an entire planet with extremely limited space travel doesn’t seem very nice to me :/). So the main kid’s like "Oh come on! Give us time! We’ll be good!"
Aliens: "Ehhh…"
Kid: "COME OOON!"
Aliens: "Okay."

Crap, I meant to mark spoilers for the book, but it turned into an HTML tag… I doubt anyone will be upset though…

Or how aobut the Mr. books. THey were a bunch of books titled Mr. Neat or Mr. Topsy-turvy.

Damn, I was gonna say something about them earlier. Yes, I have and read a lot of those, including the sister "Little Miss" books. And like most of you, I acquired them via a garage sale.

And I believe there were some cartoons based on the books. I’ve seen a couple of them, and I don’t know how many of them were made.

I remember Book=It, and the holographic pins, but you had to be careful with the stickers on the pins, cause they could fall off and then you would be screwed.

I’m a guy, and I read like 70-odd Babysitter’s Club books, plus Super-Specials, Super-Scary Specials, and Mysterys. Never got into the Little Sisters series.
My sisters belonged to the monthly thing where they got like 3 new BSC books every month, and they came in one of the snap=handle bags that someone else was talking about.

I remember on of the my teacher is an Alien book the alien wnated to destroy earth but the kids convinced them not to. And in another one, one of the kids went with the alien to his spaceship and was traveling aorund the galaxy with him.

Holy crap. I forgot about the holo pin for book it. For the past several years I always thought that there was a coupon that you would get. The sad thing is that my book it pin has been in plain view and I didn’t realize it. How many other memories have been corrupted? Damn those aliens in my head! Damn them!
In the My Teacher is an Alien series didn’t the kids get teleported to a riot at some point. The aliens wanted to make them feel like they deserved to die. While going through the boxes full of kids books in my basement a few months ago I found a Full House poster. I and my Mom have no idea where it came from but it appears to be from Troll or Scholastic. Anyone ever get posters from a book club?
Here’s another thing in this crazy post. I remember when the Scholastic books stopped being interesting to me. Around third or fourth grade I stopped placing orders. It was a sad realization for me at the time that all the books that they were selling sucked. I had grown out of the dinosaur phase so that eliminated most of the books that would have interested me. I think that the last books that I ordered were two little books about the Greeks and the Romans. The teachers kept handing out order catalogs until high school. In seventh grade I don’t remember anyone placing an order and in eighth grade we just crumpled up the catalogs and through them at each other while our mentally handicapped English teacher, Mrs. Wiley, would read every book description to us. We hated her so much. She couldn’t even pronounce kindling correctly and ignored the class when we corrected her. Good times.

Son of Kong wounded me. Somewhere around the monkey + Poodle dancing scene my brain started to melt and didn’t stop until the tape ran out.
-jared

I read all the Teacher is an Alien books, but can’t remember any of the storylines specifically. Well, I remember something about a rubber arm and a false fire alarm, but that’s from like, what, 5 books?
BBC America showed a marathon of Office last night, but I guess I’m a bit late with that hot tip :/
I don’t recall getting any Book It pins but my mom was a teacher so once a week or so she’d just bust out a set of coupons from work and that would be supper for the night. I feel odd admitting that even now 10 years later, but we were big readers so it really wasn’t cheating or anything, I swear.

Another program my elementary school did was if you read a certain amount of books, your name would put on different colored laminated cars that were then taped to the wall. The more books your read, the different colored car you got. It was sort of a race and was fun to watch.

"My seventh grade CCD teacher told us to prepare for a "special" night in which we brought snacks and she would share something very special with us. What she did was hang six pack pop rings from the ceiling (a bunch of them all tied together, this is hard to describe) and light them on fire so they sort of slowly burned WHILE PLAYING JOHN LENNON’S ‘Imagine’." - Kate

"During the first track the kids go to a mad doctor’s house. When they get there, he presents to the kids a robot. A robot created to teach the kids songs about God and Jesus." - Geoffinsanity

I can’t decide which of these two would have messed me up more as a lass. The strangest thing I recall from CCD was when we listened to a band that I don’t think was Creed but sounded almost exactly like them. (shrugs)

KittyCatGirl - That’s "Whisper the Winged Unicorn"! There was some Troll book club deal where you could get a not-at-all-inspired-by-My Little Pony plush toy Whisper. I still have her.

It hasn’t been mentioned yet, so my choice for the single greatest Berenstein Bear book is "The Too Much Birthday". Way ahead of it’s time.

Also, all I can remember from "Book It" was that stupid poster with the damned terrifying robot French maid girl from "Small Wonder" on it. (Brr!)

(Although Pizza Hut redeemed themselves with those kick-butt "Land Before Time" toys later on.)

Bunnicula! The dog was always my favorite. I remember when he stole candy from the dad. I believe that the candy was very spicy, hotcha motcha! I always liked the books that had animals that could talk, whether it be to humans or each other. Stuart Little, Run Away Ralph, and the Bunnicula series were some of my favorites. I always knew that animals could speak to each other, plotting, scheming, and yearning. I know for a fact that it was a couple squirrels on the grassy knoll that shot Kennedy.

There’s another book that I can’t remember the name of. It was about a mouse whose husband had died and one of her daughters was sick so she went off to get medicine. She finds a city of rats under a rosebush, the rats had escaped from a lab and they could read and write, and her husband had been one of these rats.

Poop, that’s the The Rats of Nimh.
I was a big fan of all Beverly Cleary’s stuff, but especially Ramona.

I remember reading ridiculous books like "I Left My Sneakers in Dimension X" and loving the hell out of it. I think it was part of a franchise too. I also remember reading a book "Faith and the Electric Dogs" about a girl and her spanish speaking dog.

Also, I remember totally lying in Book It to get free pizzas. I’d read like 1/6 of the books I said I did just to get myself a Personal Pan Pepperoni Pizza. Well, that or Bacon.

Also, this is unrelated, but I totally remember when the X-Men Animated Show was big and Pizza Hut had those tapes with an episode or two and had a roundtable with the creators beforehand.

Speaking of book posters. My high school still has those "READ!" posters with celebrities on them. From Shaq to Whoopi to WWF wrestlers sitting chairs holding a generic book.

I don’t know how your book-it programs worked, but we had to do book reports on every one for proof to earn those pizzas.

Most DECEIVING book title EVER: "The 2,000 Pound Goldfish." It’s really about a girl whose parents are divorcing or some serious subject. Not a hint of the goldfish. I was ticked.

Someone way up above mentioned Psalty the singing hymn book. I had the Psalty Bible as a kid with his entire family teaching Bible lessons and had different songs to sing. Didn’t bother me much as a kid but I found it a few years ago and it kinda freaked me out. Psalty’s wife freaked me out the most, I don’t know why.

I loved the Ramona books. As well as the Goosebumps, and the "big kids" goosebumps, can’t remember what it was called. Loved the Babysitters Club, made me want to be a babysitter for a while till I realized I didn’t much like kids. Read the Little Sister series too. And the Boxcar Kids and all the different Sweet Valley High’s. Even started my own Unicorn club in 5th grade. I read so much as a kid, and sadly they all got thrown out last spring. If I had thought, I probably could’ve gotten good money for all those books.

Hate to be off-topic, but has anyone seen the site Gametap.com? You can play a lot of old classic Nintendo and Atari games. One of the best features is that they actually have classic commercials for some of the games. I got to see the original spot for Kaboom! The sucky part is that it’s $14.95 a month to play, but they have a 2 weeks free trial.

I remember when Goosebumps tried to get a resurgence and started that GOOSEBUMPS: SERIES 2000 shtick.

This isn’t the original Psalty, but close enough. Click on my name to see the freaky thing.

The chocolate touch, or something like that. It’s about a boy who really likes chocolate and he ends up being able to turn anything he touches into chocolate. What a fatty. And Goosebumps rocked! I had every single one up until the Series 2000, which had foil covers I believe. I didn’t even have to pay for most of em’ because my cousin Matt gave me all of his.

Darth Poop and Squee4242- Ever see the movie, "The Secret of Nimh"? Man, I LOVED that movie as a kid! Never got to read the book, though. English kids in Quebec do NOT have many books to choose from at the library! (unless you can read la francais…)

Great article. Didn’t read all the comments, but does anyone else recall a series of books called "Nate the Great." They were like Encyclopedia Brown books, but for young kids.

I don’t remember Goosebumps 2000 (of course I was just starting college). What I do remember is that after the first series of Goosebump books ended, Stein then went on to write another short-lived series of horror books aimed at the slightly older kids called "Nightmare Street" or something. There was even a VERY short-lived Kids WB show based on them. This was after the Goosebumps show ended also.

Another book I also had as a kid. You’d think Stan and Jan Berenstain would’ve tried to make the junk food look more…disgusting, since they were trying to convince to eat less of it. Maybe they could’ve have made it more blobby and slimy and greasy-looking, or something, rather than delicious and brightly colored with artificial pigments, making kids hanker for more.

And is it just me, or did you always think the Berenstain Bears looked more like monkeys than bears?

I know I’m a bit late with this, but I had posters that I got from book orders. I had one on the back of my bedroom door for the longest time that was a stuffed animal with a lunch box. It said "Time for Lunch" or something. I distinctly remember that you’d get that free if you bought a certain amount of merchandise. No way would I have paid for that. Still, it was on my door for the longest time - next to my Fred Savage poster from Bop. (I loved me some Kevin Arnold.) When I was at my grandmother’s house around Christmas, my parents had found a box in her attic of some of my stuff and we were going through it. There was a "Kid’s Bill of Rights" poster I’d bought from Scholastic. My favorite part was where I reserved the right to not have to accompany my little sister to the bathroom anymore. Seriously, you have no idea how important it was to me to not have to do that anymore.

Lori- I LOVED Fred Savage. Get this- I wrote him a fan letter when I was 10 (the first line read, "Fred Savage, you are DYNAMITE!") When I was 13- 3 YEARS later…he wrote back! With an autographed photo! WAY off topic, but had to share.

I used to order "Dynamite" and "Bananas" magazines from book clubs way back in elementary school. Those days, we would get excited when we would get a square, cardboard record in a magazine, or on the back of a cereal box. We were easily amused at that age, in that age. But those were also the days of Melting Grimace ads and Brady Kids cartoons, so it’s all kind of a blurr.

I once wrote to Mister Rogers and he sent me an autographed photo and everything too. I think I still have it somewhere back home too.

I am lovin’ this book conversation. I remember a ton of the books you guys are talking about. Scary Stories illustrations scared the bejesus out of me, too, though some of the stories I liked and wasn’t that scared of. I remember the one about the people who picked up a Mexican dog that turned out to be a giant sewer rat. Though the one about the girl who had spiders hatch out of her face absolutely killed me. I’m deathly afraid of spiders…maybe that’s why! And I loved Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle! I remember the Mr. and Little Miss books, too.

Stacey: I think you’re talking about Fear Street? I loved those. Those were my first dive into horror and they used to scare the crap out of me. I bought one at a thrift store recently, read it in like half an hour and was severely disappointed to see that it wasn’t all that great. Ah well…

Bright Noah et al: The guy who wrote the My Teacher is an Alien books, Bruce Coville, is actually the son of a family friend. I read all of them too, and all I remember is the part where the kid notices that the teacher is staring directly at the sun. It’s gotta be in the first book. I don’t know why, but I still remember that part. It’s too bad that Bruce Coville is a jerk, though…my mom and I went to see him speak on a small panel I think when I was a senior in HS and figured he’d actually talk to us since we know his father and stepmother and we’re from the same town (though he doesn’t live there anymore)…he acted alternately like he’d rather be banging his head up against the wall and that he was way too important to talk to us. And that pissed me off. Dick.

But speaking of books and stuff…I remember these books that we got in kidnergarten to teach us the alphabet…each letter had a little weird guy or girl to go along with them, and I think they were called like Mr. X or Miss Z or whatever…at least some of them came with an inflatable doll of the Mr. or Miss thing, and I think it might have been a different little toy like that every time. Does anyone have any clue what I’m talking about? It’s been bothering me on and off for years and I just now remembered it again.

I have the Berenstain Bears and Too Much Junk Food book! It was also one of my favorite books in the series when I was a child, and I actually reread it recently.

Oh yeah, well *I* once wrote to Jim Davis, and I still have the letter tucked away in a drawer currently in arm’s reach. I didn’t get a photograph, but I got a typed personal note on Garfield stationary with an autograph on it. You can tell it’s real and not printed by the way it bleeds through the paper. Plus the paper is watermarked.

Shoulda mentioned this a week earlier, but one guy thanking you for the link to the advent calendar reminded me…

Happy New Year, Matt! Looking forward to more retro comedy and digging up the not-too-distant past from you! Sigh, 2006 already. In not too long, today’s kids will be cynical adolescents and college kids reminiscing about Dora the Explorer and the bastardized English version of Yu-Gi-Oh or whatever the deuce it is the young ones are interested in these days.

And BTW, I too felt the illustrations of the Scary Stories books were the creepiest part of them. Scariest illustrations I can think of, especially the guy’s control over a pen and realistically rendered black-and-white watercolors. I can’t think of much more haunting (so to speak) pics of rotting zombies, bloodstained objects, and ghosts straight from the bowels of hell.

Hey everyone! So who here listened to Howard Stern on Sirius this morning? What did everybody think?!

Personally…I loved it! I can’t believe they got George Takei! And he’s so open about being gay, not to mention genuinely funny and quick…well I think he’s perfect for the show.

I’m curious to see what my fellow X-E fans thought of it, and the hype surrounding the whole thing. I realize this is not a Howard Stern bbs, but this is the only one I check or give a shit about. X-E readers are a bright bunch, and I think I remember reading somewhere that Matt is a Stern fan, so…anyway, what did you think?!

Now that you mention it, I totally remember those from kindergarten! How weird. Yeah, there was a whole bunch of crap for each letter, games and stuff to play. I still remember each of us having to come up with something that started with that letter and paste it to a piece of paper. When "F" came around, we all had pictures of Farrah Fawcett.

Funny that they still used those when you were in school! They must have had a tight budget. (I went to kindergarten in 1980.)