X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

01/03/2006: My Bleeding Eyes.

Everything seemed fine when I got back to work this morning. This being the first day back after a two-week vacation that felt like an eight-month vacation, my natural paranoia had seeped in just after Christmas. I knew I hadn’t “tidied up” my projects as well as I could have prior to the vacation, and what’s more, I knew I’d left my desk looking like a bomb hit it. There was no real reason to suspect it, but that didn’t keep me from thinking that someone, somewhere was going to give me a stern talking to today. Didn’t happen. Everything was just as I left it — except for the eighteen Christmas presents from various people and facilities I’ve worked with, including champagne, flash drives and two gift certificates that have made me one DS game and a King Kong DVD 3-pk richer. Fuck yeah man.

And then it happened. “Dude, what’s with your eye?”

That’s what the girl I sit next to said, and that’s what the girl I sit next to meant. Apparently, my poor eyes, victims of dirty contact lenses and the residual effects of a weeklong cold, had gone from their normal white to a shade closer to candy apple. Keep in mind, my eyes are always a little red. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t stop it. But this…this was no normal red. My eyes felt absolutely fine, but they looked like they were absolutely bleeding.

So began an hours-long adventure in trying to hide my eyes from the office. Look, they were really red. The kind of red that nobody could just “deal with.” If I struck up a conversation with anyone, there was no way they’d be able to make it through without bringing up this newfound eye trauma. Then again, it wasn’t so much them mentioning my bleeding eyes that concerned me — I just didn’t want anyone seeing ‘em. I didn’t and don’t want to be known as the “guy with the freaky alien bleeding eyes.” I don’t want people calling other people over to look at the “guy with the freaky alien bleeding eyes.”

And the more I write about my eyes, the more they’re starting to hurt. Think I’ll cash out early. Don’t tell anyone I left.

2006 is gonna rock if this keeps up.

Damn Matt, that’s a shame about your eyes. Hope they feel better. I have contacts too, and that happens to me with allergies and related stuff.

I started out my new year with pinkeye, a bad cold, and no voice. I’m avoiding contact with people because I’d be tempted to share my wealth with them to punish them for not being sick like me.

Mystie beat me, but that’s ok, b/c she found that lost closing logo that I was in search of (thanks a million, Mystie, but I’ve thanked you many times over for that scary logo!).

I’m still waiting to see if my two job leads paid off–I’m supposed to know something this week. I hope I don’t get one of those horrible rejection letters in the mail again. I hate those "We liked you, BUT…" letters. And the line at the end about keeping the resume on file for 6 months is bullshit. I swear they don’t keep it–they laugh maniacally while they put it in the shredder.

Devi–I started 2005 with bronchitis and a sinus infection and laryngitis (literally–I was in an urgent care office on January 1st last year). Bad enough–I had to work at the video store that day, and was so tired from having trouble breathing that almost everything after 5:15 pm January 1, 2005 is a blur. I think I slept most of the night during the times that didn’t involve forcing myself to eat dinner, or the couple of times my boyfriend called to check on me (whatta guy!).

The next day, my boyfriend came here to spend the day with me (I was still tired and without a voice, but feeling somewhat better). He came armed with two bags of cough drops. He said they were the best tasting ones–they were Halls Defense in berry flavors–and they were great. Whatta guy!

My mom has pinkeye this week. Too bad it’s not Halloween or y’all would be set.

I’m currently going toe-to-toe with a head cold that manifested New Year’s Eve. I should be able to beat it into submission by this weekend. I’ll give it some hope, then down the remaining cold medicines I bought yesterday, pop in a Hallowe’en CD, and have a nice night’s sleep. Meanwhile, I think Matt’s turned into a zombie, and he don’t know it. Just don’t let him bite anyone.

Hope you get better, but hey, at least you got out of work early. Sounds like a good start to the year to me. You should eat some cheetos and chill.

I hope your eyes are feeling better soon! Maybe it’s just sleep deprivation and a nice long nap will help. Maybe freaky alien bleeding eyes could become like a cool schtick of yours or something.

Since I missed the Christmas Fallout b/c of my delayed train back home, maybe I’ll take this time to share…
I got exactly what I wanted and then some - a flask with my name on it AND liquor, FOUR toblerone bars and This Book Will Change Your Life. Yesterday’s task was to pretend that everyone you encounter could be the love of your life and to act accordingly. I totally freaked out this guy in the grocery store by winking at him near the meat display. HA.
Happy new year, everyone!!

Is it just me or did today’s update have the feel of a film noir / private eye story? Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Sin City.

Congratulations, you earned a ticket to this wonderful world I call "The Land Of Those Who Have Fucked Up Eyes"…

My problem two problems are way too many hours infront a PC screen and infinite lack of sleep (4-5 hours a day) which has developed an eye-state as if I was rubbing them with sand paper.

My sight is 100% correct (I could even hunt bunnies if I learnt how to fly) but still I’ll have to wear glasses to protect them from screen radiation and get a hundred sheep to try to sleep more hours…

Wow, that sounds awful. You gonna go to the Doctor Matt? Oh yeah, 12th yall! Booyah! (I’ve consigned myself to never getting first, so this is it.). Any word on when the advent calendar will be archived? I was telling my friend all about it and he wants to read it.

Aw, poor Matt. I feel your pain, buddy…I don’t have alien bleeding eyes, but I do have chronic eye problems stemming from my blepharitis, which is a fancy way of saying that the skin of my bottom eyelids likes to flake off and cause stys and even a cyst that I had to go to the doctor to get lanced (I pretty much had a nervous breakdown and am now even more permanently scarred).

You should get lots of rest, and maybe some Visine or something, and lie around with a washcloth over your eyes. Cool or warm, whichever feels better. You poor thing.

PS: thanks for the email, it was sweet of you to reply, and I’m glad you liked your goodies! I forsee a Wookie Cookie article in X-E’s future.

I had a vile roommate my sophomore year in college who would have coughing fits so severe and so violent that the blood-vessels in his eyes would rupture and his eyes would end up looking fire-engine red for days at a time. I hated the miserable cocksucker, so I find it difficult even today to muster any sympathy for him. Sucks for you though, Matt.

My eyes are typically pretty red. It comes from smoking the whoopee weed, folks. But I have a feeling that Matt’s red eyes were even worse than that.

Personally, this New Years was pretty good. Forced my friends to do a way too drunk Jones Soda Holiday Pack taste test. My God. The Salmon Pate Soda literally made me gag and it was A Dick Clark’s New Years’ Rockin’ Eve Miracle that I didn’t puke the nasty crap all over the place.

The actually New Year, I was pretty hung over, so I just stayed in and watched some movies I got from Netflix. Creep (a British horror movie that is pretty much lifted from Mimic) and Cry Wolf, an above average teen horror flick that gets extra points for not being entirely lame.

Buck up, Matt. Worse comes to worse you can get some of those crazy black plastic glasses and start calling yourself Daredevil.

This can’t be good for that beta testing you did last holloween for those creepy contacts.

If my post from the last one was a littbel bit a the bottom, I spent New Years Eve going out to a diner with 2 of my friends, then went to see The Producers (funny as hell). Then for the bib moment it was choosing between the lesser of 2 Evils of Regis singing Christmas Carols or Ryan Seacrest being a total asshole while giving a MAXIMUM time of about 8 minutes to Dick Clarkbot. Of course, I went with the Android/Asshole duo.

But what of the 25th Advert????? For days I was pondering on what It could be and then the calendars dissappeared a few days ago!

Poor guy! Feel betters.
I’m only just starting to beat the lingering cough haunting me from a beaten cold (don’t smoke kiddos)…I spent most of Xmas day in a Vicks Vapo induced coma.

Hey, it could be worse, my hubby got bleach in his eye when he was a teenager, hes very very lucky that there was no damage. I hope your eye looks better soon Matt, I hate it when lots of ppl ask the same damn question over and over again.

Ive had a pretty busy new year so far, my 3 month old son and I are helping to take care of my cousins newborn twins, after she had her babies she found out she has cancer so shes been real sick. Shes in good sprits so thats good, and her babies are so cute and small, I enjoy helping out.

I’m a fellow contact/red-eye sufferer (is that a word?) My eyes are always a bit red and sometimes when my contacts act up my eyes go full on bloody, but as the doctor says, it’s not pink-eye it’s just severe irritation, and it happens to me once every couple months and it’s gone the next day.
I think you can find who your true friends are when your eyes are bleeding. Ever notice how the majority of the public will stay at least 10 feet away from you if they even suspect you have pink eye?
Plus with constantly reddish/bloodshot eyes it’s a pain in the ass convincing people i didn’t just smoke a joint.

Ouch, Matt, I hope your eyes clear up soon! My New Year’s was absolutely unexciting - watched football with my parents, then hung around online before going to bed shortly after midnight. My friend who spent the last three New Year’s with me couldn’t come down because I worked too late for us to spend any decent time together.

My holiday’s over. I got all the Christmas stuff taken down and packed into new plastic containers (the boxes they were in were falling apart) and set in my room, ready to move with me when I get to my new home about 5 minutes from Philadelphia (on the New Jersey side).

Wow, lots of eye trouble in the room. I myself, usually wear the two week contact lenses for about 4-6 months. Cause I’m cheap. But when you crack open a new pair of fresh ones they just feel so great.
I am loving 2006 so far. I hope it keeps up. I think I may enjoy the mid winter lulltime this year.

I wear Night and Day contacts that are allegedly good for thirty days of continuous wear and they normally stay in my eyes for a few months at a time. Blinking is usually an excuciating experience for me.

Allison - yeesh! What an awful new year for you! Reminding me that I shouldn’t complain so much

Eddie Lightning Frog - pinkeye would be such an easy Halloween costume, too. And you could just go around touching other people’s candy and they’d give it all to you. Hm…

Dylan - my eye doctor wouldn’t let me get those contacts because of the problems they can cause. But even the ones designed to keep eyes from drying out make my eyes dry out. This doctor won’t let me get lazer surgery yet, either. He’s dooming me to glasses.

One time I was watching a computer generated video about laser eye sugery and became ill. That’s my eye story. I like Matt’s story better too.

One time I was relaxing in my bedroom, then a zombie punched through the door! I was scared needless to say, so I put my dress up against the door, but then the zombie grabbed my head and pulled me slower towards a wood splinter! Oh no! Then the zombie poked my eye out with it. That’s my eye story. I like matt’s better.

Hey wait couldn’t you just accent them with those crazy styled contacts you bought awhile back?

Oh yeah, well one time I saw a man eating a pickle while crossing the street but he didn’t look both ways and then a radioactive truck him and he morphed into a pickle man. When I went to help him out he pushed me and said that the meant to do that. Before I could escape he shot pickle juice from his hands into my eyes AND I STILL like Matt’s story better.

I don’t have an eye story. That kind of makes me feel like an outcast. Still, I posted a comment. A completely pointless comment.

You know Matt, (and please don’t place an evil spell on me for this) last night I was just thinking of the article where you tried on all those weird different contact lens….and now you have some sort of eye infection. Shoot man! I hope I don’t get some kind of karma backlash for this one, brother!

Hey at least alien bleeding eyes give you a cool story later on, and an opportunity to frighten people who look at you funny on the bus.

My new year has started out horribly. Today my boyfriend got laid off, I found out I might be dropped from my upcoming classes due to a financial aid problem, I found out my dad has a mass on his lung and has to be on oxygen 24/7 AND has an electric wheelchair, and I found out that my four year old stepbrother has been placed in a foster home because my family was unable to control him. The kid managed to seriously injure my dad by attacking him, and on another occasion nearly killed himself by eating one of those blue toilet cleaning tablets. My stepbrother has always had behavior problems but obviously it has gotten worse since they moved, and now HRS wants to put him in a children’s hospital for observation. Apparently he even threw the social worker’s cell phone against a wall and broke it. It wasn’t just a case of it being inconvenient for my family to care for him, either - he literally was hurting himself and other people, and there was nothing they could do to stop him. (And if you’re thinking he should be easy to control because he’s only four, you’re wrong - he is over 50 lbs and will kick you HARD if you try to pick him up.)

And then tonight my dog got out and tried to attack the neighbor’s Dachshund - these are the same neighbors who are going to be giving us a puppy. Luckily the little dog didn’t get hurt, but I’m worried about what my dog is gonna do when we get the puppy.

Hopefully, everyone else’s new year is going better than mine. And now back to your regularly scheduled eye discussion.

My father-in-law is my optometrist, and the first time I had a check-up (this past summer, my eyes are fine) he did that whole glaucoma thing and afterwards I almost passed out and felt sick for like 15 minutes. Embarassing way to spend a vacation with people you barely know.

I don’t have any eye stories, either. I’ve only been wearing contacts a few months and the only problems I’ve had is I’ve noticed I get tired easier with them in.

I didn’t have much New Years trauma. I stayed at home and rested because I’d of felt guilty going out on account of my man being off on military business. I saw he read my last email which means he’s still alive, so I’m happy about that. I did get rejected for my billionth job interview and my cat has some sort of infection on his belly. I’m going to have to beg my mom for money so I can take him to the vet. I hope whatever it is isn’t transferrable to humans because he’s been laying on top of me and my bed a lot lately.

Don’t worry about what others think. If they mention it, they’re probably just showing concern. Get some Visine or something, and avoid watching TV, videos, or computer screens. LOL. I suppose that last one is a bit tough to carry out, considering your evening job and all. But just do your best to take care of that eye bro.

Sorry to hear about that Matt, I once had an eye infection so bad, that my eye doctor said it was the worst one she had ever seen…she had graduated like two months before from the University of Houston!!!

Red eyes…that’s nothing. I think I am doomed to get a tumor in my body somewhere after watching my beloved Penn State football team squeak out a 3-OT win against Florida State in the Orange Bowl.

it’s a crappy webcam pic from like 4 years ago but that’s me wearing a red "wildfire" i think contact while having pink eye. so yeah it’s a shitty webcam but you get the pic

Hey Matt, this is a really really off topic comment and I don’t know why it’s just popped into my head, but I was wondering if you still had those ASL liscense plates that you got awhile back.

and does anyone have a link to the article about the contacts? it would be mucho appreciatado

jazzy Sorry to hear about all that, especially your dad. Hopefully things will turn up.

Matt, the same thing happened to the guy in the cube across from me right before Christmas. He came in and his eyes were beet red. He ended up going to the emergency room and they told him he got an infection from wearing his contacts too much. They made him get new glasses and told him to wear them periodically. He had antibiotic eye drops and everything. He was the same way though. He stayed in his cube so no one would see him. People really are stupid sometimes. Every person has to say "hey, did you know your eyes were red"? No, really, I didn’t notice. Wow!

When I was in college, I had a similar thing happen. After a short bout with pinkeye (which was at near-epidemic proportions on campus), I woke up looking like the troll guy in the TheraFlu commercial. The swelling ultimately went down, but my eyes stayed red. Turns out I rubbed my eyes really hard in my sleep (and drank too much while in this condition) and burst a blood vessel or two. Not fun. I walked around with one-and-a-half beet red eyes for three months, and NO ONE would look at me. I wound up buying and befriending a Home Depot housplant. I named him Earnest.

Not to be discouraging, but I woke up that way once and it ended up being the infection that wouldn’t die. My eyes cleared up (or so I thought) a couple of days later. As it happened, I was a couple of weeks away from my annual eye exam. I was expecting my usual "everything’s fine", but instead I was told I had an infection (my contact lens was actually acting as a band-aid that kept me from feeling the discomfort.) The worst part was that I wasn’t supposed to wear my contacts anymore and I hadn’t updated my glasses in years, so they were hardly any good (I have 20/400 vision, so I NEED corrective eyewear.) I couldn’t even update my glasses because, apparently, the infection was affecting my vision (I had just figured I needed to update my perscription.) Long story sho…um, not so long, it took me about five months to kick it for good. It would go away for about a week and come back (luckily I had time in there to update my glasses. I was having to be driven around like Miss Daisy.)

After that little nightmare, I went back to being good about cleaning my contacts. I still hate taking them out every night, but it beats getting that infection again. I also wear my glasses more than I did to give my eyes a rest. Plus, my doctor put me on monthly disposables (I was wearing the old school 1 pair=1 year kind.) The curse of those with imperfect vision.

Damn, I read some of these post last night, and with all the talk of being sick and getting a cold I woke up this morning with a damn cold! Damn internet germs.

I have a eye story. About a month ago I had an eyelash, in my right eye, pretty much grow backwards. It grew towards the eye. For like 3 days that damn lash was scratching the corner of my eye, very irritating, inturn, that was red as balls. I had made an eye appointment but I was able to get the thing out myself.

"What’s wrong?"
"Pink…. Eye!"
"I’ll just prescribe some topical ointment for you. That should clear it up."

I’m usually not one to condone such behavior, but I think I found the cause of and/or solution to Matt’s condition:
http://www.rathergood.com/first_drink/
There’s monkeys in it! Just watching monkeys can cure a lot of things.

Well, once when I had "permanent" contacts (not the 2-week ones), I overused them and wore them despite feeling a small irritation in one eye one day. So, it broke apart in my eye. I found half of the jagged contact but could not find the other half; I wasn’t sure if it just fell to the floor and got lost or anything. Anyway, like 6 hours later I tried cleaning out my eye again, and sure enough it was logged up in my ocular cavity the whole time. Whoops.

Owww, Gozer–that happened to me too, except I kept looking for it until I found out–it was only 10 minutes later, thank goodness!

Having worn contacts since I was 13, over half my life now, I have several eye stories.

The first year I had my contacts, when I was still wearing the expensive non-disposables, I went to an amusement park when I was at sleep-away camp. There was an observation deck for a water ride, if you stood on it when the ride went down a hill, you got absolutely soaked. We did. The water hit my face so hard, even though my eyes were shut as tightly as I could, one of my contacts was hit and folded up, shooting up above my eyeball. I thought I lost it and was going to have to wear my damn glasses the rest of the week. Fortunately it reappeared.

Another time, I had a bunch of irritation in one eye after putting in my contacts. I couldn’t find any crap on the contact or in my eye, so I just lived with it. The next day, I noticed a small hair at the corner of my eye, where the junk collects at night. I got a hold of it, and pulled, and it kept coming and coming. A whole hair from my head had gotten up in the top of my eyeball, and was all covered in eye junk.

People who have had contacts as long as I have, did you use to use a little "washing machine" type contact case that had a catalyst at the bottom that caused the fluid in the case to bubble, and after a few hours, turn to saline? Remember how much that stuff burned if you tried to put your contacts in too early during the process, or if, god forbid, you picked it up instead of saline accidently and shot some directly in your eye? Let’s just say a certain product of "adult" interaction hurts just about as much if it gets in your eye. In my eye, anyway. Only let that happen once, let me tell you.

mags, my mom had that "washing machine"!!!!! I just asked her what it was–she said it was a sterilizer!

I’ve been wearing mine since I was 13 (I got mine in January 1996–10 years ago this month!).

I wear bifocal lenses–I need reading glasses because I get headaches from doing upclose work, and the bifocals help alot. Believe it or not, the lenses may be beneficial to my eyesight–my perscription has improved in my last two eye doctor’s visits (2004 and 2005)!

When I was in 9th grade, I remember my eye hurt all day–turns out my lense tore in my eye during the day. My eye was fine–I trashed the lenses (they were due to be changed in a few days anyway), and put some Visine in the eye. Good as new.

I remember those little vials where you put the lense in with the saline and the tiny enzyme tablets. If you didn’t rinse the lense enough after the enzyme was done, it burned like hell. I used to be lazy, so I would do it every other week and use 2 enzymes per vial. I was so happy when ReNu came out with the No-Rub solution, and you no longer had to do enzymes, because it did all the work in one bottle. Anyone remember enzymes????

I have a bit too severe a case of astigmatism (not to mention The O.C. Disorder) to be able to handle contacts…it’s not that I haven’t tried, but the combo of constantly flippy flopping lenses and the fact that you CANT EVER GET THAT LAST PIECE OF LINT OFF OMG DONT PUT THAT IN MY EYES AUUUGH has gotten in the way.
I hope someone gets that Arrested Development ref…saveourbluths.org!

Hey Erik (and everyone else) this is a really funny picture I found about "Nathan Bitner."

Did you guys know that the singles (herpes zoster virus–not to be confused with the STD herpes) can affect your eyes if it spreads to your face (in severe cases)? It’s true.

I had a mild case of the shingles during the summer of 2004–when I was 21. Shingles is actually an illness common of the elderly and those w/compromised immune systems (due to cancer or various illnesses). It mainly affects people over the age of 50 (but more common among those 60-65 and older). For older patients, it can be debilitating and dangerous–for someone my age, its not usually a problem unless it gets on your face. In that case, it can cause blindness or other eye damage.

The illness affects your nerves, causing raised bumps on the skin in a red rash that spreads in a localized band on one part of the upper body. It looks like chicken pox, except its not itchy–it’s horribly painful. I had my case on my upper left back, where my bra strap was, and it wrapped around on my ribcage under my left arm and on the left side of my chest, resting on my ribs and my–ahem–left bossom (I’d rather not use certain words here). Sounds bad huh? It’s extremely painful.

The rash was always a dull ache, but every hour–oh my god–it would hurt horribly. I felt like someone was punching my skin and pinching my nerves. It also affected my left arm, sending shooting pains up and down my arm, wrist, and hand. I had a hard time writing and typing. I also had chills, a severe headache, and a swollen lymph node in my left arm pit (which was all swelled up and in pain).

I was misdiagnosed as having an allergic reaction (when it first presented itself it didnt hurt) early in the week, but ended up in urgent care on a Saturday morning in pain. I had a really hot doctor (think George Clooney any year or Noah Wyle circa 1994 and you’ll get my drift) who said I was the youngest case he treated (the nurse in the room said it was her second youngest–the youngest was 13!!!!, but mine was worse).

I had to take Famvir (an expensive and strong anti-viral–thankfully insurance covered it, but my dad had to co-pay $35 for it–most companies don’t cover it) and Zostrix, an arthritis cream that is made from the same component used to make pepper spray. It burns your skin–I needed help from my mom putting it on my back because I couldn’t reach it, and she had to wash her hands really good–the doctor told us some funny horror stories of men using it and touching…well…you know. On top of that, my medication made me EXTREMELY fatigued, and it took me twice as long to get ready for work or just to complete my normal morning routine. I slept late the first full day I was on it, and took a nap 3 hours after I got up. I even broke out in a cold sweat trying to dry my hair. It was summer, and I laid around and watched ALOT of Quantum Leap (I watched most of the season 1 DVDs I bought a week earlier).

Needless to say, I recouperated nicely, and within a few days of starting my medication I was myself again, with some considerable pain. I milked it with my co-workers, who felt bad when they found out I had it. I still have some pain, especially when I’m stressed, upset, or the weather changes.

But, I remembered it can cause eye problems, so I figured I’d mention it. Didn’t mean to disturb anyone with the gory details.

Nothing has ever made my eyes burn more than when I read the entire Nathan Bitner saga here on XE…it made me stay up way late and NOT study for an exam, but hey- here I am, now a devoted XE-er!

I feel your pain, Matt- not so much about the eyes (that sucks, man) but about the dreaded ‘going back to work after a long vacation’. I left my desk in disary too, and did not do all the holiday work I was supposed to, so I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow! The holiday seemed so long, but in the end, it is always too short. I am sure Matt and some of you would agree- this Xmas went by WAY too fast! *sniff*

It (Christmas/New Years) went way too fast!! And I’m not in school anymore, the first time I didn’t have that 4-week long college winter break. I’m also waiting to hear about the job interviews I was on–nothing yet, gang. They said sometime this week.

Did anyone ever see this video? It’s so funny!!! I found it on–where else?–ebaumsworld.com

Can I have your Mario Kart friend code? I’m sure you’ll destroy my ass though.

I once got one of my friends one of these, and we were dumb enough to believe that you could actually converse with tthe likes of Leonardo and the others.

I just had a late christmas present. I was out of koolaid, (somebody took it!! I swear they did I had two fruit punches and one orange) and my sister (I am living with her to get back on my feet, I have a job but it’s not much yet) takes out this small tupperware retro tub and she offers these packets from the stoneage! And guess what I found GHOULAID!! It was sweet, it’s sitting in a ziplock packet in the closet now, with some mountain twist cranberry raspberry. Is that just as rare? the art looked very simple. I am keeping it though, and I made up a batch of lemonade tea ice T kind. I am sitting on my high horse now cause that’s my fave. I think Ghoulaid would be better, but it’s so rare I am just going to keep it.

I’m watching this stupid Book of Daniel show and it’s a rehash of everything "controversial" ever done on Family Guy, American Dad, South Park, The Simpsons and Roseanne, with a neat 7th Heaven wrapper.

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