Another Christmas has come and gone, and from reading and hearing and spying on everyone else, I think it's safe to say that the 2005 holiday season was a strange one for most, for all sorts of reasons. Much of my past few days has been spent trying to heal one of our cats who got clawed in the eye by another cat, which then led to the worst experience I've ever had at a veterinarian, which then led to feeling guilty all throughout the Christmas celebrations as I had four cats locked in a room at home so the injured cat could have as much room and as much safety as possible while we were out. For the cats in my life, it hasn't been a particularly merry Christmas.
The big family shindigs were fun, full of liquor and seafood and red sweaters. Now I'm in that post-Christmas lull -- I wouldn't really classify it as the typical post-Christmas depression or anything; I just want to stop the clock for a few weeks so I don't have to rush right back to reality. It's too early to focus on real stuff. Just wanna look at all the pretty lights till people stop bothering to plug 'em in at night. Speaking of which, a few nights back we stopped by a nearby house's insane Christmas village...
And it was just what the doctor ordered. I'd spent the season too busy to enjoy it, but ten minutes at this place put me right back into the spirit proper. A couple of houses all owned by the same guy were dolled up in every which way, with some of the strangest decorations I've ever seen. I have no idea where one could actually purchase most of the stuff on display -- some of it was obviously made at home, but other elements seem to have been bought from old traveling carnivals and whatnot. Consisting of three big front lawns and a few side nooks, the junk was just piled left and right without rhyme or reason. It was just so gloriously screwball. Example: They had this huge Disney train full of animatronic characters, and one of the cars had a gigantic, soaking wet stuffed shark on top of it. It wasn't thematic. The shark was just "there." Everything was just so random that I'm not even sure how to write anything cohesive about it (I'm trying now and failing), so just check out the gallery below if you want that last minute bit of Christmas cheer before you start making your New Year's plans.
About to complete the Calendars -- come back in a little bit. You won't see Mare again for heelevahn months, sniff. As is customary in our yearly Christmas Fallout thread, it's time to see the goods. It's been a strange Christmas as mentioned, but on the gift side, Santa did not let me down. Check it out...
The Complete Calvin & Hobbes. Oh God yes. And unlike The Far Side's version, this one is split across three books, meaning they're a bit slimmer, meaning they can actually be read without the aid of heavy machinery.
Awesome coffee machine that whips up hot cups of you-know-what in thirty seconds flat.
NECA's Gremlins 2 "Mohawk" figure, which I've been waiting to own for at least a year now.
Many sweaters. All are black, mostly black or very close to black. Not pictured: Jeans. They are not black.
Mario Kart DS. Those bus rides into work are going to go a whole lot quicker.
Roaring King Kong plush doll, giant rubber shark and a Star Wars book. I consider these three items my Emergency Fun Kit.
Kickass Diesel watch in uplifting colors.
Electric blanket, because I'm always freezing.
One of my faves -- a boxed F13 action figure set including sackhead Jason, Pamela Voorhees and the shrine with Pamela's rotted head. I love this thing to death.
A book about lobsters, the ol' disappearing ink gag, and GUMMY BEARS. If this was a perfect world, I'd be starting to read that book right about now and not stopping until there was no more book to be read.
DVDs, though some of the ones shown above were from me to the woman.
A liquor carousel that shifts me into the upper class all by itself.
Cologne, so I can stop smelling like shit.
Dartboard with LCD scoring thing from my godson, Christmas book, cocktails book, Kroft DVD, Mr. Show S3 DVD and a 75.00 gift certificate to my fave local sushi joint.
ELECTRONIC KONG ARMS! OOH OOH AH AHHHHHHHHH
Dancing Slimer, which is the greatest thing anyone has ever made. Must be seen to be believed. I won't write more about it here -- this one deserves its own tribute.
Kids Is Kids VHS, including my favorite Disney cartoons ever.
More clothes, sunglasses, SOCKS.
From me to the woman -- box of Gloworm-related things and Fob puppets from Teddy Ruxpin. She was excited. The dolls were dusty.
Set of glasses with alien color stripe powers.
Gift cards to all over the place.
Dunno what this is. The woman "won" it in our family's big "White Elephant" game. Everyone buys a gift (must cost between 15-20 bucks), everyone draws numbers, everyone picks a gift, everyone has a chance to steal gifts...I don't know. She "stole" whatever that thing above it from my brother, who ended up going home with some lame blueberry candle. Me? I got a bird.
I got that bird.
Previous Christmas Fallout Threads: 2003! 2004!
Your turn -- what'd ya get?
Posted by Matt on 12/26/2005. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
(I feel for you having had to live on the Westside. My dad used to live there and everyone I met was either on crack or didn’t wash. But then my dad tends to hang around trashy people anyway.)
Jazzy, (who is quite popular on this thread I might add)I am a Jacksonville native. Former Westside trash.