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12/23/2005: Holiday Lucky Charms …From 1994!

It’s Christmastime. Actually, it’s just about Christmas as I write this, and man, the holiday sure was sneaky this year, creeping right up on me from out of nowhere as I scramble through my gift checklist and my dirty clothes and my Advent and Advert Calendars and wonder how the entire season seemed to fly by without much noise. Oh well — at least I’ll have my Christmas Story marathon and my stupid presents and that big wheel of sushi my sister buys every year.

As I’ve mentioned a thousand times, we’re in the long process of moving to a different apartment, which is an amazingly difficult task for such packrats. Finally got up to grouping and boxing together my insanely vast collection of cereal prizes, and while it on one hand reminds me that I really want to start that subsection up again, it also presented a dilemma, as there’s no way I could let the Christmas season slip by without covering the beauty shown above — a sealed CANISTER of Holiday Lucky Charms cereal, from 1994. If I used forums and forum administrators told me to pick an avatar that best describes my soul as a whole, I’m pretty sure this big log of Christmas cereal would get nod. The cylindrical containers popped up every so often, with the crayon tip-shaped top making them double nicely as coin banks when you were done plowing through breakfast.

While Lucky couldn’t go through with actually calling this a “Christmas” cereal even back then, there can be no doubt that that’s what it is. Look at those pretty lights — there’s only one “holiday” that gets those pretty lights. What served only as a month-long promotion could’ve been a bit more than that, because if I had seen this particular package of Lucky Charms cereal under the tree on Christmas morning, I wouldn’t have felt at all ripped off. I’m not saying it could take the place of a new bicycle or a video game system, but had my parents placed this particular package of Lucky Charms next to the “big gift,” I’m honestly not sure which of the two I’d have paid more attention to. On one hand, I wouldn’t have gone back to school the following week and brag about the cereal I got, but on the flip, I probably would’ve let it slip and get punched in the gut over it anyway.

As is customary for any Lucky Charms cereal meant to celebrate a specific event, the marshmallows have been updated to reflect the holiday at hand. Check out the six hot entries, including candy canes, snowmen, presents, bells, stocking and Christmas trees. Oh you damn right — Christmas trees. Because the cereal baggie was sealed, inside a heavystock cylinder that was also sealed, it all looks and smells so fresh that I’m tempted to go find some ten-year-old milk and have myself a bowl of merry. But I won’t. Because I’m chicken.

The arguable best part of the deal? This particular package of Holiday Lucky Charms came with not one, but two cereal prizes, tucked neatly away in the special plastic topper. And they weren’t junky prizes either, no sir. First up was a small tub of Sparkling Play-Doh, which is quite literally regular Play-Doh rolled around in sparkles. Just to make it all tie together, the Play-Doh was Christmas green. While the second prize didn’t associate with Christmas by color, it’s tough to look at a sealed package of Life Savers “Gummi Savers” and not think it’s the 25th of December. I’m in love with this cereal. It’s nice to have a little romance going during the holidays.

Love the advent this year…it’s about time Kuse gets some tail. Good luck to him.

Is fruity pebbles the only cereal to actually call itself christmas something or other?

"Ten-year-old milk"? Who are you trying to kid, Matt? We all know you eat your cereal dry.

Hey, love the subvert calendar!!! Keep up the goodly work.
I wanted to flag to you that today is that holiest of days: Corey Haim’s birthday. ima bust out my copy of "Fever Lake" to celebrate!!!

"And, in a sudden bout of confusion, caused no doubt by the unexpected disovery, Mr, Caracappa molded a Pokemon out of the Gummi Savers and ate the sparkly Play-Doh. Then, he ate the Gummi Pokemon anyway. Back to you, Shellie."
"Thanks, Jeff. After the break, Corking your Crotch Bat: Does it really add distance to your drives? And, did everything just taste purple for a second?"

I’m stuck working today too. I just got this job in October, so I don’t get vacation or sick time until April. But my boss is being cool, so I get to go home at noon - with pay! Then it’s off to Toys R Us for one final Christmas shopping ordeal.

Love the calendars. I can live vicariously through Kuse as he gets some of that sweet Mare poon.

Man, I’d kill for some sparkly Play-Doh right now. Work’s unbelivably slow today since no one wants to do anything but gorge on goodies, so I could have some fun making Christmas trees and such. Wee!

Since I feel like taking a nap right now from all the sugar and probably will forget to come here before the end of the day, I just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and say thanks for making this place my favorite spot on the Web. You guys all rock and I’m looking forward to another fun-filled year with y’all.

And to Matt, our fearless leader: thanks for making Christmas not suck. I hope you enjoy the gifts I sent and that you get all kinds of awesome goodies that we can read about in sordid detail next week. Thank you for being our gracious host and for just being all-around kickass.

Everybody: enjoy your holiday, eat too much, play with cool toys, etc. etc. See you guys on Tuesday.

Hallmark nearly went under during its early days if it wasn’t for its wrapping paper.

Yet another useless fact I learned while earning a history credit taking "Holidays in American Culture."

Oh yeah Matt, I hope you have something special planned for tomorrow night. Checking X-E before I head to bed on Christmas Eve has become a fun tradition.

It ruined the drama and suspense, but at least I didn’t piss the walls with excitement thinking I was getting a Super Nintendo when all I was getting was Trivial Pursuit: The In-A-Box-Shaped-Like-An-SNES-Box Edition.

I dunno. I think Knacks deserves Mare more. Kuse is such a jerk, in my opinion. Knacks always gets the short end of the stick. Why do nice guys always finish last? Why, I ask you–WHY?!?!?!

Today’s Advert makes me wonder if Matt has been laying on the Eggnog a little too much this Christmas!

If I could marry a container of cereal, I would make that canister of Holiday Lucky Charms my bride.

Also, Matt, thanks for the amazing Advent/vert calanders! They’ve brightened up the season quite a bit.

I don’t know what it will consist of yet, but I swear that one day I will create a website devoted to the "Pain for Spain Campaign."

A rain of pain for Spain is a campaign mainly in Matt’s domain, Wayne. Although Zane and Jane may abstain…..
(sound of big wooden spoon hitting kingklash)
"gOriLLa!" *thud*

gerv, good call on the "Corey Matthews" identification. The fuzzy head gives him away every time!

On the subject of Kong, I agree with Mare, except when it comes to dinosaur-kicking. Oh man, when dinosaur took a foot to the head…beautiful stuff. However, not even that could compare to that one thing during the Kong/Rex fight. If you’ve seen it you know what I mean. That really crazy part. I don’t often cheer at movies, but that single part ensured that I won’t be forgeting this movie too soon. Otherwise, meh.

I should really read these things BEFORE posting. I’m missing a "that" and a comma.

The kid in the Hallmark commercial is definitely Ben Savage–that’s a given. And upon close examination and listening to the voice, the little girl in the Little Debbie commercial is little brunette Sarah Michelle Gellar. I recognize the face and voice from the old Burger King commercial she was sued over.

That reminds me of the year I got a gift in a little velvet box from my then-boyfriend (now husband). I just knew it was a ring! I knew it! Inside was two mini mugs from Ingle’s Nook with our names on them. That’s possibly the biggest gift letdown in history. Not that I didn’t appreciate the sentiment, but…you know. Don’t ever put anything in a jewelry box that isn’t jewelry. And that’s one to grow on.

Actually, I recently read a book wirtten by Dan O’Keefe called The Real Festivus, the Seinfeld writer who inspired the Festivus subplot in the episode "The Strike" and he wrote about the truth of Festivus.

2) There is no Festivus Pole nor a Feats of Strenght. The holiday does mostly involves an Airing of Grievances, but spoken into a cassette recorder. Instead, the main symbol of Festivus is an alarm clock and a bag (which explains how that was written into another Seinfeld episode where George steals his girlfriend’s clock and confronts her with it inside a bag)

3) The dinner itself was either Turkey or some kind of animal that was brutally killed in the process before eating it. There were silly homemade hats as well as play-doh for every table setting.

4) Music is involved, usually by playing records from a genre Dan calls "Irish Death Music", also acceptable are Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits CD and a certain album by Willie Nelson (forgot which one)

I’m shocked at Kuse and Mare getting together as well. But it’s for the best. Knacks is too naive for Mare. Mare NEEDS an asshole like Kuse (although personally i dig Kuse more too) so then she won’t feel like as big of a bitch for screwing him over in the end, because she will, because she’s Mare. Nice guys like Knacks always finish last. Believe it.

So, if a Playmobile woman and a Lego man had a kid together, what exactly would they produce?

Aww, no kids? But little Winninghams with Stormtrooper helmets would be so neat. And poor Knacks, the nice guys deserve lovin’ too.

I made elves from plastic modelling compound. They have no mouths. The relatives had better like ‘em.

Bring on tomorrow ['Cause it's christmas eve here. GMT+12, yo], with its many shiny toys. Mother dearest was attempting to wrap my loose Air Attack Optimus Primal when she triggered his sounds. "GRAAARGH!" *vroo vroo vroo vroo* Now that just screams Christmas Memory.

Christmas is getting boring. Maybe next year I should celebrate Chanukah or Festivus… or maybe all three. That would make it FestaChanuMas.

I’ve loved your page so far, and the advert and advent calendars are great, but I would like to request that you postpone blowing up Spain at least until the 27th, since that is where I am currently stuck for Christmas. I am not sure what YOUR reasons for hating Spain are, but I can certainly tell you that today it is not the highest my list of favorite countries either. I am stuck here alone at Christmas time in a country that doesn’t believe in gingerbread, candy canes, hot cider, and DEFINITELY not in DVD releases of the He-Man and She-ra Christmas Special. Oh well.
Your site has helped me get into a much more festive mood over here and I especially appreciate the streaming Christmas songs you put up.
Anyway, please remember not to blow up Spain since you have at least one fan over here right now. Thank you, and Feliz Navidad.

"So, if a Playmobile woman and a Lego man had a kid together, what exactly would they produce?"

I have this mental image of dozens, nay, hundreds of coin bank worthy items littering Matt’s childhood, each one with somewhere between $0.07 and $0.35 inside.

I don’t really have much to say except thank you to everyone in this thread. You’ve kept me laughing for at least ten minutes and made me periodically forget about having to work tomorrow (Christmas Eve). At least it’s time and a half. Also, thanks again Matt for a great holiday season and I look forward to another year of laughs!

I’m glad we’re at the home stretch. This has been an exhausting holiday. Running here there and everywhere to get one family member’s presents for another family member. Wrapping presents, baking, being turned every which way through the masses of Christmas shoppers. And of course, the constant badgering by my mother about my not having a real job and how I never should have gone into web design at college because it’ll never be profitable for me. I’ve started just nodding in agreement to that one. No point in trying to explain anything to her….

The word Duplo may be in competition with the word Nintendo for the most awesome word title.

Today’s my birthday. Got 40 Year Old Virgin and Sin City Recut for DVD. I’m happy.

I wonder if the Calendar will take a Star Wars like turn. After all, it was lost love that made Darth Vader

Is it just me, or does that snowman marshmellow look like a white testicles/penis with a green head?

Nope, I’m up too. I just reviewed Home Alone 2 on my blog. Yeah…I’m bored.

JLAJRC- Happy Birthday! I’m waiting until after X-mas to get the Sin City recut.

Speaking of which, have you guys heard that Quentin Tarantino is going to recut Kill Bill into one long film and re-release it and THEN release a dvd version with all the bells and whistles.

I hate these multiple version DVDs. I really hate them. Not that I have to have every last bonus feature of my favorite movies, but entirely new cuts? Damn it! I blame George Lucas.

Dammit. My connection freaked out and posted that comment 100 times (yeah-it was the connection, not my error). Feel free to delete.

That Holiday Lucky Charms is pretty sweet… and I don’t even eat Lucky Charms.

Maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t feel like Christmas yet. The calendars help a lot, but I guess I need snow, which came earlier this month but probably won’t return. Rain isn’t that festive.

There is one xmas special that bears mentioning, make that 2. The night they saved Christmas, starring Art Carney as Santa, and Jacklyn Smith as the wife of an oil tycoon who wants to drill for oil in the N orth Pole. My husbands favorite xmas memory and dam near impossible to find except on ebay for 4O bucks (guess what his xmas present is) The other is Emmett Otters Jugband christmas. A wonderful Jim Henson project narrated by Kermit, now readily available at all retail stores for 15 bucks

Seasoned Greetings, the lot o’ you. It’ll be christmas here in about quarter of an hour. See you all on the flipside.

Dude, mandy, I recently got Emmett Otter for the tender price of $5 after mail-in rebate.

I’m up early, but I don’t know if I should pump out any more reviews. I imagine I could, between the stuff I downloaded off MySpleen.net and my collection there’s a ton of Christmas Specials to be watched. I encoded like 10 onto a compilation DVD and sent them out to my friends with their Xmas cards. Lavie’s gonna go apeshit when she finds out I sent her The Christmas Raccoons. Bwa ha ha ha ha…

Mandy I *LOVE* The Night They Saved Christmas. Oh yes, I do heart it so very much. It’s such a wonderfully awful movie, and I have such great memories of watching it growing up. Always wanted that cool robot they got at the end…

Speaking of which, have you guys heard that Quentin Tarantino is going to recut Kill Bill into one long film and re-release it and THEN release a dvd version with all the bells and whistles.

It’s a good thing I don’t like Kill Bill or else hearing this 4 times would really make me want this.

woah my godit’s totaly christmas right now where i am ^^ i wouldnt usualy give a shit butive been up for
around 26 hr reading that bitner epic and just spent the day eating chokolate hehehehehee. i like
rice *plooooo

Christmas Eve here. Still haven’t gotten all the presents….Time for a shopping spree. Have to go to church tonight and in the morning, too. We’ll open our presents after church. So much for the magical morning rush….

I just wanted to say thanks for doing the Advert and Advent calendars again, Matt…they really are part of my Christmas traditions now…I hope you realize how many people you made happy this Christmas through silly Playmobil and Lego fun.

Karen: Mare, the playmobile woman, don’t want to have children (She also don’t want to get fat)

Ok, I had a long day at work (and I am working tomorrow) and am the defintion of tired, so I’m just going to take the time to say I can’t wait to find out how Mare and Kuse’s new relationship goes…and just who DOES end up delivering the presents on the big night…

Merry Eve, all!
I’m kinda bummed…I don’t have many presents under the tree, basically just the one from my sis since Mom and I are going in on a new laptop and we haven’t picked it yet. Last night I had a terrible premonition that whatever my sister had sent was a DVD set I already had, so I made my homeslice open it and of course I turned out to be right (Lost season one, though I was actually thinking it was going to be MST3K). So now I’ve got no gifties, but better to know now than tomorrow morning, I guess.
Thank God for the Advent and Advert and everything Matt does all year and all bloggers around the world. Dunno what I’d do without ya.

Lori, if you get a chance to read this far, i totally understand. i’ve kinda been waiting for a ring too. me and the man opened our presents last night, and he told me he still had one more to give me, but i would "have to pick it out." i tried to be casual, as i asked what else he was getting me…

as you can see, learning how to bold was one of the best presents i got this year. thanks, rosella, for having the balls to ask how, i always felt too dumb.

and yes, i echo everyone else when i say, thanks so much, matt, for making this year’s christmas rock. i only found you a few months ago when looking for pictures from the great pumpkin, so this is my first year of extreme christmas joy, and advent calendars, and mare, and all… but it’s been a major highlight for me. you are the coolest person i’ve never met. lori and lisa marie are a close second, but i cant get all crazy with people that just comment on a blog. i have a real life to live too.

merry christmas to everyone and i hope none of you get any new "worst christmas ever" stories this year. love you all!

Merry Xmas Eve, all! I wanted to tell all bloggers that I think of you guys on this day, and for the entire Xmas season- XE has become a holiday tradition, as opposed to just "that website I read everyday!"
I am off to eat an insane amount, watch "Christmas Story" and "National Lampoon’s Xmas Vacation", drive around to look at lights and then go to bed to wait for Santa. Yup, I am glad things don’t change at my parents’ house and that I am not in Korea for Xmas this year!
Have a very merry one!

Dude, those presents rock. Presents you get in cereal boxes today are so crappy.

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This entry was posted on Friday, December 23rd, 2005 at 1:02 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.