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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Bleh.

The bad news is that I miss being around to write more than just what I've promised, and that I've been too busy to take advantage of a very Christmas-heavy television schedule. The good news is that I have next week off and you'll be hearing a lot more from me than you have. I hope you think that's good news, at least.

Use this space to talk about some of the highlights and lowlights of your 2005 holiday season, because God knows I could sure use some people to live through vicariously this year. Advent's updated, Advert's not. You'll get two of those tomorrow.

Posted by Matt on 12/15/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 126 comments

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That insane music on the Andre commercial make me question everything I thought I knew and believed in. What in the hell WAS that?!

Chestnuts roasted by Bludge @ 12/16/2005 8:20 PM


Or "made" me question it. See, it even screwed up my tenses!

Chestnuts roasted by Bludge @ 12/16/2005 8:23 PM


Chris that is quite the story!

I love the music on that Andre ad, it sounded like a music/jewelery box song that you wind up. I can just picture that little chick in her tu tu spining around.

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 12/16/2005 8:28 PM


The music in that commercial is awful. It’s so freakin’ repetitive–take Andre home (cling) take Andre home (cling). It’s like a subliminal message that isn’t subtle enough. Won’t you take Andre home? Hell no! Great ad though–nice and classic.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 12/16/2005 9:21 PM


That is definitely quite a story, Chris.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 12/16/2005 9:22 PM


That’s one helluva story Chris. I wonder if any of those men are her baby daddies? Anyway tomorrow is the highlight of my holiday season, I celebrate the day my daughter was born. Tomorrow my sweet 7 yr old becomes an obnoxious 8 yr old, thank God she still believes in Santa. Happy holidays to all!

Chestnuts roasted by bloodybrilliantme @ 12/16/2005 9:40 PM


Matt, please write/produce an homage commercial to that Andre one. I miss slideshow-inspired television production.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 12/16/2005 9:49 PM


I just made the saddest discovery. I snuck out of work early today to go hang out at Paradise Island, one of the few real video arcades/amusement centers here in Sacramento, only to find that it is now out of business. Arcades are a dying entertainment venue. This is why I want to go to Japan where arcades are alive and well. I am soooo sad that I’m spending time with a bottle of rum. Practically all I have left is Chuck E. Cheese, and looking at what that place has become…well…we don’t wanna go there. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/17/2005 12:45 PM


Ugh, how did that ad ever pass inspection? Even for the early 80′s, which was stuffed with off-key synthesizer music, that’s some seriously OFF-KEY synthesizer music…

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 12/17/2005 1:30 AM


HOLY COW: You guys lost interest before I could reveal that I am, in fact, a talking cow.

I don’t want this to end. Ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars again @ 12/17/2005 4:26 AM


What is that imprint on the back of mare’s head?

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 12/17/2005 7:43 AM


Nate, that made me think of the last time I went to a Chuck E. Cheese. I went with my very pregnant cousin (she actually started leaking amniotic fluid sometime that day, and delivered over the weekend) and my other cousin, the pregnant one’s older sister. The pregnant one was the first of our generation in my family to have a baby, so we all were pretty excited about the soon to be kid.

We walked in the door, and this approximately 16 year old employee looked at us really funny and said "you know this is a place for kids, right?" It was like he thought us three women, one of us pregnant, were going to bust up the place.

It would have been so much funnier if she had gone into labor and had the baby in the middle of Chuck E. Cheese! But you said it was a place for kids!

Chestnuts roasted by mags @ 12/17/2005 8:42 AM


I’m a long time lurker just making myself known…..

-Vlad

Chestnuts roasted by Vlad @ 12/17/2005 10:40 AM


I just remembered meeting a guy that did professional slideshows for a living almost a decade ago. He must hate PowerPoint.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 12/17/2005 11:18 AM


Mags,

The last time I went to Chuck E. Cheese’s was with my friend about a year ago. At the front you have to have all the kids in your group go through what is rather like a coat check service so that nobody but you can leave with the kids that you came with. They were surprised to find that we didn’t have any kids amongst us.

Since it wasn’t anything like how we remembered it as children, back when it was much cooler and had way more video games and a guy in a Chucky suit would actually come out and meet everybody, we decided to go to the very arcade/amusement center that I had mentioned in my previous post. It was much more fun. Too bad it’s closed for good now. I miss real, genuine, traditional arcades.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/17/2005 12:34 PM


I think Holy Cow just replaced Spider-Man as my #1 favorite hero.

The Andre music is a scuzzy arrangement of "Carol of the Bells."
Zing zinga-zing *clink*
Zing zinga-zing *clink*
Sometimes, I imagine Andre the Giant knocking heads together in time to that music.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/17/2005 1:52 PM


Mars
HOLY COW: You guys lost interest before I could reveal that I am, in fact, a talking cow.

I don’t want this to end. Ever.

1) awesome ending to that part

2) Am I the only one who thought the lego guys were gonna turn into the Chia Plot guys?

3) UPDATE!!!!!

That is all…for now :D

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/17/2005 2:08 PM


Well I’m off to my hometown where I will be without a computer, so an early merry christmas, happy holidays and best wishes in the new year for you all! Matt, you rock. Alot.
Enjoy the festive madness! xxoo

Chestnuts roasted by Lizzy @ 12/17/2005 2:08 PM


Have a great one, Lizzy. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/17/2005 2:10 PM


OK, I have got one – this week I am making a trip to the US of A, which is a 10-hour drive for me, to get me some Jones. If I succeed, it will be an incredible highlight. But if they are, God forbid, sold out, it will be one of the biggest disappointments evah. I’m not going to give up easily, though – if I’ve already driven 10 hours for this I’m gonna scour the whole damn state before I give up!

Chestnuts roasted by Sparkly @ 12/17/2005 4:21 PM


Highlight – getting an Ipod video for an early Christmas present.

Lowlight – Losing it on The Incredible Hulk Rollercoaster 5 days later.

Chestnuts roasted by Brett @ 12/17/2005 5:32 PM


Kingklash, good for you…and I thank you, on behalf of all women, for having the brains to pay attention to your fellow man. I think, even as a girl, I would’ve had no problem hanging around and seeing what I could do to help/defuse the situation, just like you. Of course, I’m Texan (NOT Southern), so I may look and act like the embodiment of Peter-Pan-collar-sweetness-and-light, but as soon as a man starts his white trash sheepfucker shit on another woman, I will be the first lady in line to put my very dainty, sweet-smelling, patent leather boot up his ass.

Chestnuts roasted by emily @ 12/17/2005 6:03 PM


Please excuse my language, everyone. I do apologize.

Mele Kalikimaka, y’all!

Chestnuts roasted by emily @ 12/17/2005 6:04 PM


new lowlight – some fucking numbnuts broke into my car and stole all my shit out of the boot, or trunk for all you non English folks out there :-) at the weekend!!

Chestnuts roasted by Stoner @ 12/19/2005 8:25 AM


YES! I got the Jones holiday pack!

Chestnuts roasted by Sparkly @ 12/23/2005 2:34 PM


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