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My nephew’s letter to Santa…

Advent & Advert Calendars are up to date. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon with news on the holiday junk food everyone must go out and buy immediately. So get clairvoyant and try to figure out what I'm talking about before tomorrow afternoon, otherwise you'll fail at buying it immediately. Meantime, click "more" to see my nephew's letter to Santa Claus, and I swear to God he wrote it. I could not possibly write something this awesome myself...

Posted by Matt on 12/12/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 159 comments

I love the name "Donkey Konga"!

Chestnuts roasted by Al @ 12/13/2005 1:14 AM

My mother’s secret disguise for writing Santa’s script- use her left hand when signing his name rather than her normal right. My parents had my brother and I absolutely convinced in the reality of Santa one year with this simple little ploy- we went out late Christmas Eve to drive around and look at lights or something, and when we got home oh wow oh wow the presents were already there under the tree! My parents calmy explained how Santa must have started in our area on his delivery, and just visited a bit early. Or course at age 10 it was beyond my ablity to conceive of the vast complex scheme with which they left a house key with our neighbor, complete with instructions of where to find the gifts under the house’s crawl-space. Heh, kids are so gulible.

Chestnuts roasted by TheKraken @ 12/13/2005 7:52 AM

i don’t really remember believing in santa, but i don’t remember why i didn’t anymore. one year my dad decided to put the presents from santa under the tree a few days early. boy was mom pissed!

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 12/13/2005 8:27 AM

oops, that was supposed to say "i DO remember why i didn’t anymore". i’m still traumatized by that Christmas apparently.

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 12/13/2005 8:29 AM

The TV lied to me…The Grinch wasn’t on last night, and not only that, but it was Cartoon Network that supposedly was showing it. Sorry if anyone tried to tune in based on my advice. I heard from a reputable source, too. Stupid magazines.

I remember believing in Santa, though I don’t remember when I stopped. Probably some snot-nosed punk told me in school. I don’t remember writing him letters, but I probably did. I do remember looking for his sleigh and the reindeer on Christmas Eve when we drove back from my dad’s parents’ house. We always left cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. My parents still put presents from Santa under the tree, even though my brother is 18 and I’m 23. He and I always just roll our eyes and Mom always says, "Ooh, what’d you get from Santa?" It’s kinda cute, in a stupid way.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 12/13/2005 9:54 AM

Nicole
It was on at 630, not 700 the tv guide lied. I didn’t have the popcorn ready in time.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 12/13/2005 10:06 AM

Nicole, The Grinch was on Cartoon Network last night. I should have listened to the commercial I saw for it, not the TiVo, tho. It was on at 7:30, not 8.

I did catch the last 10 minutes or so of it anyway, when we got home.

Cartoon Network must fiddle with their schedule a lot or something, because I’ve noticed things picked up on that channel on TiVo often are not actually what I wanted to record/ what the schedule said it was supposed to be. It’s the only channel where I’ve had that problem.

Chestnuts roasted by mags @ 12/13/2005 10:07 AM

Damn, that looks pretty close to my Christmas lists as a kid (and even now, I’ll admit it): mostly game-related stuff. None of that nice sweater and electric shaver shit for me, thanks. Give me games.

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 12/13/2005 10:38 AM

I stopped believing in santa too young to remember exactly when it was or why. I remember when I was actually told though. I had this super strong theory that Santa = Mom and Dad, so to see what she said, I started complaining about one of the gifts that Santa brought me. I started talking about how Santa must not have understood that I wanted a real dollhouse and not some tiny plastic thing with out of scale furniture. That’s when Mom confided that Santa didn’t exist and they didn’t buy a good dollhouse because they couldn’t afford it. Now that I think about it, that was a crappy thing for me to do. I want to apologize to my mom right now.

But, even after that, we still kept pretending that Santa was coming. It was all part of the fun and anticipation of Christmas Eve. We always left a note next to some snacks (rarely cookies since we didn’t keep those around. We justified it by saying that Santa was sick of cookies anyway.) Santa would often write back. I remember one year in particular, my dad put his hand in the fireplace ashes and left sooty fingerprints all over the note. I thought that was the cutest thing, and a commendable effort for two kids he knew didn’t believe in Santa anymore.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 12/13/2005 10:50 AM

I, too, am among those who can’t remember exactly when they stopped believing in Santa. I do clearly remember one year, though, that I knew for sure what happened:

As is tradition in my family, the all-day home-cooked feast of Christmas is prefaced by eating out on Christmas Eve. One year, my mother and step-father said "Why don’t you kids run on out to the car and we’ll be right behind you in a moment?" So we did, and after having to wait 10 minutes for them to finally come out, I was totally not surprised to see that "Santa" had visited almost 12 hours early, and it just happened to be while we were gone to eat! OMFG! :) We did keep up the tradition for a few more years, though, as I’m not sure whether my younger brother had figured it out yet or not.

I do remember having a discussion with my mom about Santa, though, specifically about if they were going to wrap everything, or hold some back to put out as "Santa" gifts overnight, because I wasn’t sure if my brother was wise to the ploy. Obviously, this was a year or two after my other story.

Chestnuts roasted by ZiZak @ 12/13/2005 11:15 AM

"My parents still put presents from Santa under the tree, even though my brother is 18 and I’m 23. He and I always just roll our eyes and Mom always says, "Ooh, what’d you get from Santa?"

My mom does that too. And my brother is 18 too and I just turned 24. I don’t mind though its funny.

I stopped believing in santa after my 3rd grade christmas. My dad had a video camera and he video taped everything, so a few weeks after christmas I wanted to watch newly produced family christmas tape. Well, instead of the first few minutes being of my brother and I opening gifts it was of christmas eve. My dad had taped my mom and himself putting out the gifts. I was like whaaaaaaaaaaat! Maybe it was their subtle way to say, "Geoff its about time you knew the truth." It was cool though because my brother still believed for serveral more years. I think I had more fun believing for my brother after I knew what the deal was.

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 12/13/2005 11:19 AM

Obviously I’ve stopped believing in Santa Claus, but my parents maintained the tradition of decorating the tree and putting gifts under it while we’re sleeping. There’s still a magical feeling going down on Christmas morning and seeing the tree and the gifts in full splendor for the first time.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 12/13/2005 11:19 AM

I kind of figured out Santa didn’t exist when I heard him curse in Spanish after "he" dropped the GI Joe Aircraft carrier on his foot while coming up the stairs. Actually, the cursing woke me up, not the dropping of the box.
I still carried on that I believed in him for another 2 years as my middle brother was 2 years younger than me, and I have a youngest that is 6 years younger. However, by the time my middle brother and I knew, we were still able to milk it since we had the youngest one to keep convinced. We still wrote letters and received presents, you know, to keep the spirit alive in the youngest one. Worked out great for us…

Funny thing is, my parents still leave presents at the foot of our beds every Christmas. Or sofas, or wherever we fall asleep since we usually spend Christmas Eve at their home, and stay over. If I ever get married, I’m seriously going to miss that. Damn, I don’t even want to think about it….

You know what? I think this year, I’m going to leave them presents at the foot of their bed.

Chestnuts roasted by Galvatron @ 12/13/2005 11:26 AM

aww, galvatron, that’s so sweet! i still get presents from Santa from my grandma, maybe she’ll get one from Santa this year too! she used to tell my older brother and i that Santa found those presents on his sleigh after he stopped at our house and he gave them to her to give to us. i can remember thinking "wow, grandma knows Santa!"

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 12/13/2005 12:19 PM

I dont know how old I was, but I remember when I figured out Santa wasn’t real. My mom and dad had put out the presents and the next morning as my dad is handing them out to us, he picks up a small bag and says "this is from us" and my mom goes "No, it’s not, that’s from Santa" well my name was written on the bag in big letters in my moms handwriting and my dad must have just seen that and went with the us instead of reading the tag and after that… I thought about it and then looked at all the tags and they all had my mom’s handwriting. The cat was out of the bag and I could never put it back in. I didn’t say anything tho because I still had 2 younger brothers and then eventually 2 younger sisters. But that was a sad year indeed.

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 12/13/2005 12:20 PM

It’s not wrong to believe in Santa, or at least what he represents. When a kid asks how Santa gets ’round the world, tell them that he is the Patron Saint of Children. And that not all countries have their Christmas-type celebrations at the same time. Or, have Santa bringing loot. For example, the Hopi have Kachinas that come down from a sacred mesa and bless new households, then the other families, and you leave gifts out for them to take to another home. Kinda like a Pueblo UPS. Us Kiowas are groovy with Santa zipping around on X-Mas Eve, we just want to eat the reindeer. MMmmm… enchanted venison.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash, pulled by eight tiny buffalo. @ 12/13/2005 12:39 PM

That letter is the cutest thing ever. He even took the time to ask Santa hows he doing and drew a picture. Priceless.

Chestnuts roasted by MissKitty @ 12/13/2005 12:41 PM

Double G You should’ve said something… I’m sure your parents would’ve had some explanation. I had a similar experience when I noticed my parents used the same wrapping paper as Santa. I spoke up and my Mom explained that Santa was a very busy man and didn’t have time to wrap everyone’s presents so Mommy’s and Daddy’s do that part for him. I totally bought that line and continued believing in Santa for a few more years.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 12/13/2005 12:45 PM

I caught on to the handwriting thing, too, but my mom was quick thinking and admitted that she tagged the presents in her own hand for Santa since he was so busy. I can’t believe it, but I bought that line for another year or two!

I need help that you XE-ers might be able to give. What is the name of the GI Joe dune buggy thing from the 80s, and did it have a specific driver it came with? Thanks!

Chestnuts roasted by Jimbalaya @ 12/13/2005 12:45 PM

Carrie I did say something to her like a day or two later, but I didn’t buy her excuse. It’s all good tho, I still believed in the essence and spirit of Santa. Just knew my mom and dad were the ones behind it then. :P

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 12/13/2005 12:50 PM

Jimbalaya I’m pretty sure you’re thinking about the VAMP and it came with Clutch. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 12/13/2005 12:52 PM

Thanks, kb and mags…at least The Grinch was on, even if they don’t know what the hell they’re doing with the scheduling. I think it’s on a bunch more times before Christmas, though, so I hope I catch it again.

Geoffinsanity, it IS funny about the presents from Santa, because my mom is so insistent that she has no idea what the presents are or how they got there. My brother and I are like, come on, we know it’s you guys already, but she’s always like, "OOH LOOK! IT’S A DVD!!" *shakes head*

My parents do still do the whole setting stuff out after us kids go to bed thing. ‘Cause it wouldn’t be Christmas without the early AM discussion between my brother and me over who got the most/biggest presents. Ahh, good times.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 12/13/2005 1:23 PM

Double G Thanks for your help. I looked up the VAMP and it’s more of a standard Jeep. Somehow that got me to think of AWE, though, so I searched for that. The vehicle is the AWE Striker and came with Crankcase. Thanks.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimbalaya @ 12/13/2005 1:46 PM

Jimbalaya Riiight! The AWE! Totally forgot about that one!! Good deal. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 12/13/2005 1:52 PM

I just got around to catching up on the Advert from over the weekend, and I had to say…Matt, you totally have us My Little Pony collectors pegged. I go nuts over the exclusives. I don’t care if I think the pony’s hideous, I have to have it because IT’S EXCLUSIVE AND I MAY NEVER SEE IT AGAIN!!! I laughed my ass off at that.

Oh, and I too think it’s sacrilege to not have everything homemade at the holidays. My grandmother and grandfather have ALWAYS done all the cooking for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter every year of my life. This Thanksgiving, it was just my grandmother’s job since my grandfather died this August, and she still did awesome. The woman is 71, almost 72 actually, and she cooked the entire Thanksgiving feast by herself. My hero. My mother and her sister better learn what she does pretty fast, because if we have to have Stove Top at the holidays I will throw a bigger fit than the one I’ll throw when they get an artificial tree.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 12/13/2005 1:56 PM

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