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Over the ground, there’s a blah blah of white…

God, I've been so busy that I haven't even been able to officially welcome everyone to X-E's 2005 Christmas Season Extravabloganza, starring Knacks and Kuse and a ton of old holiday commercials. The light at the end of my own personal tunnel is the fact that I get to use up all my vacaca days during the last half of December. That is, unless they suddenly decide that I'm so valuable that even a week out of the office would be enough to crumble Viacom. Let's hope not, because Jesus, they're really treating us this year with the amount of Christmas specials airing on television and I'm getting pretty sick of missing them. Granted, it's happening mostly on cable, but a channel is a channel and so long as those channels are part of my cable plan, I've got a reason to plow through giant cartons of red and green Goldfish crackers in single TV sittings.

The Advent Calendar has been updated for Monday, and shit's really starting to heat up. You must believe me when I say that your guess is as good as mine -- I have no idea where this thing's headed. The Advert Calendar celebrates Christmas the only way it knows how -- with an old commercial featuring Santa Claus doing a pitch for Mattel's handheld electronic games, oh hell yes. While we are still tweaking the 2005 version of the Christmas Jukebox, there's no harm in satiating your Yuletide music appetite with last year's. Thank you Chairy. Here's a breakdown of what we've got so far...

Advent Calendar, 2005
December 1: Knacks and Kuse accept a job offer from Santa Claus.
December 2: A mysterious elf extends a mysterious invitation.
December 3: Knacks and Kuse visit Santa's house.
December 4: An ancient evil rears its ugly squiddy head.
December 5: Wouldn't you like to know.

It's worth noting that you'll have a lot less trouble making sense of this year's Advent Calendar if you read the features from 2003 and 2004.

Advert Calendar, 2005
December 1: The original Post Pebbles Christmas ad.
December 2: Have yourself a merry little Milkbone.
December 3: Suzanne Somers and Santa, BFF.
December 4: You don't just eat, you Underoos.
December 5: Football helmet? What's a football helmet?

It snowed last night. Big, nice snow, too. Yay.

Picked this up a few weeks ago. It still hasn't lost its appeal. Apparently, "Projector Pops" have been around for a while, and they've been popular enough to warrant new holiday-themed editions, including this, the evil infrared death snowman. Works like dees: The top half is a very fruit-scented lollipop, but the bottom half includes this tiiiiiny little window that -- at the push of a button -- shoots sweet Christmas sights on any wall or ceiling. Works in the day, works better at night. Best part is how the lollipop portion lights up all evil like, letting you dine on candy that feels closer to an energon cube.

Survey: What's the one thing you want most for Christmas/whatever this year, and don't be poetic. In related news, I'm whoring it up with my Amazon wishlist.

Posted by Matt on 12/04/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 161 comments

Haha yeah right. I want season one of He-Man and Thundercats on DVD and seasons 2 and 3 of Charmed. And Jem. And a bunch of books.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 12/05/2005 1:29 AM

The mystery! The intrigue! I love Knacks and Kuse at Christmas. Especially since Christmas kind of blows this year, and this X-E Advent/Advert business is getting me through it! Though that seems to be a popular theme among we that post…

Let’s see, what do I want for Christmas? A new down comforter, some better headphones for my iPod, and a digital camera. Checks and all major credit cards also accepted.

Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 12/05/2005 1:29 AM

The Advent Calendar is really looking interesting. Seeing as characters from previous years are coming back more and more, is it possible that you could put up links to the all the back files? It’s no big deal, but having the opportunity to review would be great.

Other than that, I still haven’t figured out what to ask for for Christmas. At a bit of a crossroads right now, so it’s not an easy subject.

Chestnuts roasted by Charlie @ 12/05/2005 1:29 AM

Don’t waste your time with Mario Pinball Land. It’s the most boring Mario adventure I’ve ever played, and half the time, it loses my save data.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 12/05/2005 1:49 AM

If I not mistaken, the person playing Santa in that Mattel commercial, was Hal Smith. He’s the guy that played the town drunk Otis on the Andy Griffith Show.

Chestnuts roasted by Dude McGuy @ 12/05/2005 2:20 AM

Miami Vice Season 2 on DVD. Everything else is gravy.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 12/05/2005 2:28 AM

I really want a new digi cam..old one is still in working condition but it’s just slow as all get out and eats batteries like crazy. My ‘zon wishlist is mostly DVD sets and books…I’d like the new Blue Gender, Pete and Pete and MST3K sets especially.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/05/2005 2:39 AM

I really want a new digi cam..old one is still in working condition but it’s just slow as all get out and eats batteries like crazy. My ‘zon wishlist is mostly DVD sets and books…I’d like the new Blue Gender, Pete and Pete and MST3K sets especially.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/05/2005 2:41 AM

For Christmas I just want to be able to see my boyfriend. *sigh*

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 12/05/2005 4:15 AM

Me ? I want a hula hoop.
I woke up today feeling all christmassy and that hasn’t happened in many many years. The only reason I can think for this are the return of the X-E calendars and the christmas jukebox. Thank you Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by iivuli @ 12/05/2005 4:40 AM

Since both my parents have passed on and I suck and am single I have to buy myself presents. So I got myself an iMac G5 computer with a gig of ram, and some games to play on it.

Sigh.

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodcat @ 12/05/2005 5:19 AM

I want a Nintendo DS. I could easily afford one if I saved money for about 2 minutes but I’ll never buy one for myself.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 12/05/2005 6:11 AM

Matt, Playmobil has to be making their Advent Calendars with your countdowns in mind. Why else would they feature a random four-day cat streak? To piss off poor Knacks, that’s why.

Nothing overly original on my list. The first season of The Muppet Show on DVD, the new Simpsons episode guide, We Heart Katamari for the PS2…

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 12/05/2005 6:46 AM

You know, this may be the first year that I don’t want any particular thingymabob. I’ve been away from family and friends for three months (…in the dire deserts of England!) and just wanna sit with a purring cat and watch the Griswolds, and all that good stuff.

Aww. This post smells like cinnamon.

Actually, go ahead and replace my crappy camera. Everyone wants a camera. Me too.

Chestnuts roasted by mr.skeleton @ 12/05/2005 7:36 AM

I’ve already told my family there’s only three things I want this year. A flask with my name on it, a toblerone bar and a copy of This Book Will Change Your Life.

Chestnuts roasted by Lizzy @ 12/05/2005 7:51 AM

All I really wanted for Christmas was to have my traditional Christmas Eve party at my grandparents’ house with the rest of my family, playing hand and foot (a card game) and eating Chef Boyardee pizza. That last part is a tradition started by my aunt and mom when they were still in high school. It’s an important tradition, especially for me this year, since I have moved back near my family after 6 years away, and Grandpa had an episode where he ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery a couple months ago, we weren’t sure he was going to survive. It’s also been at least a 30 year tradition that we all get together at my grandparents’ house on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day is the day for individual families and/or the men’s families- the generation before mine and mine are both all female.

Then I found out on Thanksgiving from my sister that our two cousins had more or less cancelled Christmas eve, rescheduling the family gift-giving for another as yet unstated time the week after Christmas, actually listening to my Grandma’s repeated admonition "we’re not having Christmas Eve here this year!" (the rest of us took this with a grain of salt, because she tends to fixate on things after her stroke- about the only thing to remind us of it anymore, and Grandpa still wanted us to have it, even after the fiasco last year that I still maintain only happened because I didn’t come home, if I had been there a lot of the crap wouldn’t have happened), because it suited their needs with their kids, and heaven forbid the whole damn family not be able to spoil their precious children with that many more presents.

The morning after Thanksgiving, I woke up early and cried for awhile feeling like a loser, because I had basically found out my cousins cancelled the thing I was most looking forward to, without consulting me or even TELLING ME ABOUT IT!!!

I got over myself, and last week, after the grandparents got back from their Thanksgiving trip to visit one of my traitors… er cousins, I called them up. You have to understand Grandma has been saying she wasn’t having Christmas Eve this year, all year. When I called, I asked whether she and Grandpa had any plans for Christmas Eve. She said she didn’t, so I asked if it would be alright if my boyfriend and I came up that night to play some hand and foot. She thought that sounded nice. My aunt, who was there too, asked if she was invited, and I said sure! Since then my parents and my sister and her boyfriend have also decided to come. So now, it’s what I wanted, only the traitors aren’t coming, one because she has other plans, and the other because she isn’t driving up till the week after.

Turns out Grandma’s stroke hangup was only against the /concept/ of a Christmas Eve party, not the actual thing. She seems pretty excited about the whole thing, now that it’s just being referred to as a get-together to play cards.

So, I’m getting what I want for Christmas! I think I might just skip the party the week after. I’ll pretend I had other plans they didn’t know about because they never bothered to ask.

Chestnuts roasted by mag @ 12/05/2005 8:13 AM

Cash. We just bought a house and are worried about becoming "house poor". Sigh, I’m getting old.

Chestnuts roasted by jolie @ 12/05/2005 8:39 AM

What I really want is the Adobe Creative Suite Professional. But since it’s $1000, there’s no way in Hell anyone’s buying it for me.

Oh, and peace on earth, good will to men, and all that.

And a job. And a place to live that isn’t my in-laws’.

Chestnuts roasted by Silkenray @ 12/05/2005 8:44 AM

Aw, man Knacks is killing me with his gifts. I laughed out loud when he got his two new cats.

On to the question: I remember wanting N64 really bad, and my dreams came true. Earlier christmases I always wanted random turtles’ stuff and one year I wanted, I needed, marble madness. And I always wanted hockey gear or anything related to hockey.

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 12/05/2005 9:14 AM

More than anything, I want an engagement ring! And Scrubs Season 2 on DVD.

Chestnuts roasted by Merry @ 12/05/2005 9:15 AM

The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, the new Sin City dvd and (because I’m a poor bastard who still hasn’t gotten it) The Complete Far Side.

Chestnuts roasted by TheFatboy @ 12/05/2005 9:17 AM

edit (i wish there was an edit button): I didn’t realize it was wanted I wanted this year. I thought it was past christmases.

Well this year I really want a Powerbook, a 4 track reel-to-reel and a 8 track digital recorder. And new needles for my turntables. One more thing adult swim action figures.

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 12/05/2005 9:21 AM

Hey Matt,

King Kong vs. Godzilla fucking kicks ass! The cheesier the better! I’m waiting for Rhino to put some Godzilla movies on the MST3K sets.

Can you buy that 2-pack in stores?

Chestnuts roasted by Jackie @ 12/05/2005 9:38 AM

I want the same thing every Christmas…

… to try to take over the world!

Chestnuts roasted by Brain @ 12/05/2005 9:40 AM

Hmm, I haven’t given much thought to what I actually want this year. The boyfriend and I already did our gift exchange…we use Amazon, and since I have like ten different wishlists with hundreds of items on each (what can I say, I’m a Leo), there wasn’t much thought required in picking out whatever struck my fancy as "most wanted" at the time and putting them into another list for him to choose from.

I doubt I’ll be getting much of anything from the family this year, as my parents are poorer than ever. I’ll probably ask for some cheap things, like new My Little Ponies, a few books or some cheap DVDs.

What I really need is a new computer, as I got official word on Friday night that the motherboard on my old one is shot, which is why it wouldn’t work. But I’m going to have to save up for that myself, which is going to be hard since I’ll be living in my own place come Jan. Le sigh.

I don’t really care how crappy (presents-wise) Christmas Morn turns out to be at my house, though, because I’m going to be doing tons of shopping for the apartment after Christmas and in early Jan. so that’ll do nicely.

Oh, and Matt…I totally have to buy you something from your wishlist now, on top of the other little thing I’m e-mailing you. You should keep a link to your wishlist up year-round. We all love you and we should be able to express that materialistically all year! :)

Now, off to catch up on the Calendars!!

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 12/05/2005 9:49 AM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, December 4th, 2005 at 10:12 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.