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11/24/2005: The 1989 Parade & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

And here you thought I forgot about you. I totally did not — I just had zero time and hated every second of having zero time, but the review is done, at the zero hour. Get your Turkey Day Hooray on with the two page review of the 1989 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, starring ALF! The Joker! Spider-Man! Ronald McDonald! MELBA MOORE! Yayyyayy!

Fessing up, the review was originally intended to be much longer, but time wasn’t on my side, and it got to the point tonight of either having to trim the turkey fat or do my big blogpology post about how woe is me and how I wasn’t going to provide a parade review this year. I think you’d rather have the two pages. They’re a good two pages, full of fun and video clips, and did I mention ALF? I’ve included a few downloads of commercials that aired during the parade in the review, but here’s a few more…

Fruit of the Loom, starring giant fruit people.
A Back To The Future Part 2 ad, starring smaller Marty people.
The Typhoon Hovercraft toy, you so wish you had one.
The “Mickey Look,” a toy that looks like Mickey!
Lost ‘N Founds dolls, which were almost vaguely popular!

I don’t know how many of you are around this Thanksgiving, but if you’re here, have a good one, and if you live somewhere that isn’t celebrating anything today, whooooops. I’m thankful for many things this year, and that very much includes the lot of you who choose to make this site a stop, to read and to join in the discussions, to have and to hold, yadda. You’re all great, unless it’s the wine and coffee and need for sleep talking. I leave you with this:

It’s gonna be a good Thanksgiving.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 132 comments

When Black Friday comes,
I won’t go to the store
To watch early shoppers fight on the retail foor.
Won’t buy no discounted toys.
Won’t buy no shoes or clothes.
I don’t want to risk getting a punch in the nose.
When Black Friday comes,
Guess where I’ll be?
Posting on ol’ X-E.

Ghosted by kingklash, with apologies to Steely Dan @ 11/25/2005 1:17 PM EST

Ahhhhh! Just got done my 12 hour shift at TRU. Wasn’t as bad as last year, I don’t think, but it was still pretty damn bad. People wanted everything, so I wouldn’t really say there was a HUGE demand for any one thing in particular. Though the buy 1 get 1 free on Magnetics went like hotcakes. The Bratz Styling Heads for 10 bucks also went faster than lightning. We never got in anymore LEGO X-Wing Fighters, so that was wonderful.

No fights broke out, but people always bitch when they realize they are in the wrong line. Was funny seeing the line wrap the entire way around the store and re-wrap back up around itself. :D Everyone kept saying "OH this line is rediculous!" Umm, hello? It’s BLACK FRIDAY IN A TOY STORE! Idiots…

Ghosted by Ryane @ 11/25/2005 1:59 PM EST

Cameron T: 63 degrees? Ridiculous. It’s been snowing here all morning. It’s been a while since I did a lot of driving in the snow, so here’s hoping I get used to it before I end up in a ditch. My car’s supposed to be good in snow though (’93 Mercury Topaz – I know you’re jealous).

Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/25/2005 2:09 PM EST

Feel free to send the snow and cold down here…Hasn’t snowed here in two years.

You can keep the car, though… :)

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/25/2005 2:13 PM EST

Double G: That is so sad, he will always wax on wax off in my heart :(

Ghosted by IHAQ @ 11/25/2005 2:16 PM EST

Speaking of parades, I was watching Super Password on GSN earlier, and at the end of the show, Bert Convy advertised his hosting of the Macy’s Parade with Pat Sajak. I had to chuckle, because all I could think of was "baggies."

Ghosted by Chad Mosher @ 11/25/2005 2:54 PM EST

Double G: I blame the Cobra Kais, or at least the real Pat from Happy Days. I kept confusing the 2.

Ryane: Everyone kept saying "OH this line is ridiculous!" Umm, hello? It’s BLACK FRIDAY IN A TOY STORE! Idiots…

The exact thing happened in my KB Toys store earlier today (worked from 4:30-9am and I have to go back at 5pm and work till 9:30ish), and the store was smaller than yours to boot. The real line went down the first aisle while everyone else was wrapping around the front of the other 3 aisles, and when I told them they had to move, they didn’t move for 5 minutes and then they did move, they all bitched. At 6am, this was the funniest thing ever. And when I got home at 9:30, I slept till 2:30. Nothing like a power nap. :D

And if Jeff is out there, I missed getting your package and it’s at the post office now…at a town that I don’t live near.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/25/2005 3:17 PM EST

On a totally random topic, my roommate got a nice new TV so he ordered this fireplace/aquarium DVD that just shows, well, a burning fire or an aquarium. It came in the mail today but he’s home for Thanksgiving and won’t be back until Sunday. I’m really tempted to open it up and watch it now. You get three choices of fire too: a beach bonfire, a colonial fireplace or a campfire!

Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/25/2005 3:39 PM EST

Sounds very tempting, Gozer. If I ever get a big screen, I might put my Hallwe’en sights and sounds DVD on and leave it on for no reason. Hasbro is coming out with a video projector for 300 bucks next year, so I might save up for that.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/25/2005 4:23 PM EST

Gozer-
I found your car, click on my name.

Ghosted by kb @ 11/25/2005 7:14 PM EST

Matt, the article was short but great, and the video clips kicked ass! I can’t get enough of those old McDonald’s ads, they were classics. Shame they don’t make them like that anymore.

Ghosted by Destro @ 11/25/2005 7:59 PM EST

Kittycatgirl: Thanks, it was good. Like I said, Mom’s been feeding minor armies for years and has cooking big meals down to a science. I’ve barely eaten anything today, because I ate it all yesterday.

Damn, it’s cold here, too, at least 20-something. Thank goodness though it’s been predicted on and off, no snow yet in Southern New Jersey. I’m not ready. We don’t usually get white stuff until January, if at all.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 11/25/2005 8:02 PM EST

Well you’ve done an awesome job, yet again. It was like going through my very ovn flash back sequence!

Thanks :)

Ghosted by Lex @ 11/26/2005 9:40 PM EST

Dear Guys:

This is incredible. Does anyone remember the 1988 or 1990 year when the Jets did the Rescue Rangers theme song? Does anyone have it recorded? If so, please email me at
carolyn@dia.net

Ghosted by James Smith III @ 11/27/2005 6:07 AM EST

I gotta admit, I had one of those Typhoons and it waddndat cool… although I was pretty pissed when one of the fans broke.

Ghosted by Kuribos Boots @ 11/27/2005 1:02 PM EST

Didn’t see the Looney Tunes clip, but it can be nowhere near the blot on their reputation that Loonatics is now.

People above covered Fred Travelena, but I’ll add that if you really want to get acquainted with him, watch Game Show Ne…I mean, GSN, The Network for Games. He was a regular on many ’80s game shows, usually Match Game.

Wanna see Willard as Ronald? http://www.thejoyboys.com/ronald.htm

Dig the cardboard costume. And "I know you’re not supposed to talk to strangers, but I’m Ronald McDonald!" must have inspired the Gacys of the world.

re: Charlie Brown, whatever we got, it was better than previous airings on ABC apparently were…according to the Peanuts Animation list (web.mit.edu/smcguire/www/peanuts-animation.html), they previously deleted Snoopy and Woodstock swerving the rest of the gang and having their own turkey and all…and wouldn’t that be cannibalism for Woodstock?

Ghosted by James Fabiano @ 11/27/2005 3:09 PM EST

Nice article. ALF cracked me up.

Ghosted by Jord @ 11/28/2005 6:02 AM EST

BTW that Fred dude was the WORST Elvis ever.

Ghosted by Jord @ 11/28/2005 6:04 AM EST

BTW that Fred dude was the WORST Elvis ever. Even a show as stupid as the Mario Bros Super Show should have it’s limits.

Ghosted by Jord @ 11/28/2005 6:04 AM EST

That Sebastian ornament still sits on top of the tree every year, right next to baby Jesus and Joe Namath.

Ghosted by Branded_Artist @ 11/28/2005 10:32 AM EST

Well, nothing like coming late to the party…

My Thanksgiving was…surreal. I don’t know if it was the absence of my late grandfather, which we all actually handled rather well, or the stress of my boyfriend meeting my extended family for the first time, or the fact that we ate dinner later than usual because my aunt is an idiot and can’t get anywhere on time and therefore we were all starving and finished eating in like fifteen minutes, or what…but the whole holiday was just weird. Though topping off the face-stuffing with a heart-warming CSI episode about a man’s stomach basically exploding was nice. Dammit, I missed Charlie Brown…I haven’t seen that in years.

Speaking of face-stuffing, here’s what we had, if I can remember correctly:
- Turkey (of course)
- Ham (yuck)
- Homemade stuffing
- Sweet potatoes (yuck)
- Can-shaped cranberry goo (yuck)
- Mashed potatoes and gravy
- Cheese ball and crackers
- Ambrosia-like fruit salad
- 2 apple pies, orange pie, vanilla cream pie, pumpkin pie (yuck)
And I think that was it. And pretty much all the leftovers are gone by now, sigh.

Another great parade review, Matt! I wish I could watch the damn video here at work, grumble. I need to take my computer to get it fixed, if only for the sole purpose of the Advert Calendar.

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/28/2005 10:50 AM EST

I had one of those Lost and Found dolls. I think it was a rabbit.

Ghosted by Allison @ 11/28/2005 8:24 PM EST

Better late than never, I guess. It’s updates like these that make me so determined make sure that once I get my own place and start my career (graduating in less than a month) I get a good internet connection, so that I can read these the day they go up, rather than waiting to be back on campus (lousy connection at home).

Still an excellent job on the review, like always. But I am hoping that you go back and do the 1988 parade at some point. We hadn’t been living in our new house for a month yet when that was on TV so all I remember is sitting in front of a very static-filled screen trying desperately to hear Willard Scott describe the balloons which I basically couldn’t see.

Ghosted by Charlie @ 11/28/2005 11:59 PM EST

The white queen was awesome on the marvel float. Never knew she had the power to kick buildings that had fallen down back into shape. Happy Holidays everyone

Ghosted by Ryan @ 11/29/2005 6:52 PM EST

Hey, I’m too lazy to read anyone elses stuff, but i thoughty i would talk about the Regional Holiday Pack.

I just finished drinking all of the Jones Sonda REgional Holiday Pack. I almost kille d my self trying to find it, but i did, so yaaaaaay.

so the reviews.

Turkey and Gravey – Same exact as the National Holiday pack, but in a different box. Tasted like shit, and stilll pprobably my least favorite of all of the Holiday Flavors. I still gag everytime i try this stuff.

Corn on the Cob – Smelled like Vanilla Pudding, tasted like Vanilla Puddig that has been fermenting in a hole for the past fifteen years, but not that bad. Let’s put it this way. I didn’t gag.

Smoked Salmon Pate – This is the one i had been afraid of. Snoked Salmon Pate is good stuff, but I though that I would throw up the throw up of a million sick kiddlings with Bird Flu. We did the pre-smell, and all fo my friend’s were gagging and saying it smelled terrible, but it just smelled like Black Olive Juice. I still didn’t want to drink, it didn’t smell that bad, ut as i have leanred with these things, the smell can be decieving. What’s wierd is that it isnt that bad. Not somethig I would drink if i could have Code Red or something, but still i Didn’t puke. It tasted like Salmon, not at first, but the after taste, it was just like Salmon.

Green Bean Casserole – After Slmon not being bad, i applied my knowledge from the National Holiday Pack. I really excpected to gag while openeing this, but i didn’t. I thought i would gag as i smelled it up close, but i didn;t. I gagged as i drank this, but i could keep it down.

Pecan Pie – The worst in the pack, i Don’t know why,m but this one actually got me to throw up. That’s about it. Yea.

Ghosted by Betterthanfew @ 11/30/2005 11:27 AM EST

Who is Fred Travelena?
According to IMDB.com he’s basically a d-list celebrity who only does voices for cartoons and one epsiode characters on sitcoms.

Ghosted by The Adamantium Elbow @ 11/30/2005 6:04 PM EST

Dude! I just found this site two hours ago and I haven’t left yet. This is now my new favorite website. Complete with video clips and everything. Man, when that guy in the McRib commercial says "Chomp!", I get flashbacks. That was the hook and it got me.

Ghosted by Scott @ 12/09/2005 9:48 PM EST

That bugs bunny segment is hilarious! And they managed to get arguably the ugliest singer/dancer/actors to do it too. Wow. I miss 1989.

Ghosted by Al @ 12/13/2005 12:54 PM EST

The Marvel Comics Superhero float killed, I was laughing myself blue watching the superheroes prance so gingerly around the float…safety first gang. Melba Moore should’ve been singing she needs an agent! First thing she probably said after her mouth thawed: "Morty you’re fired!"

Ghosted by Neil McLaughlin @ 12/15/2005 2:23 AM EST

Oh wow. That NKOTB float brings back memories. (Jordan was a skanky ho! Pass it on!) They had a cabbage-patch doll line and a cartoon show, and when I was twelve my fantasies included beating the crap out of them with a cane! I preferred the Gummi Bears. Still do. Donnie was my favourite; I’m a good judge ‘cos he’s the only one with some small career left (cf the Sixth Sense). And they probably still own half of lower Manhattan between them. Life ain’t fair.

Wow, Matt, this post-Greymatter world is lush. Thanks so much! *This* one’s “for the children of the world”! Now we can comment on all your old reviews and comment on old comments…

Ghosted by arete @ 08/24/2006 5:52 AM EDT

I still have my original Tyco Typhoon Hovercraft along with its original box in excellent condition. What a great toy it was! However, I want to use it again, but the original rubber air-bag skirt is all dry rotted. I can’t seem to locate anyone that might have a replacement for this. Anyone out there know of anybody or company that might have these things? Website? I don’t want to throw this thing away. Thanks

Ghosted by Lioneltrainnut1 @ 12/29/2006 5:39 PM EST

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