11/19/2005: The Saturday Night Thread.
Wow, that’s some kickass string of replies you guys put together for the last survey. We usually don’t see that kind of holiday jubilation until like, the second week of December. I think you deserve a prize.
This is, of course, the All Day Saturday Thread, which is a lot like the Saturday Night Thread, only posted earlier. Same rules apply. NO fishing.
Survey: Okay, we’ve heard some of your great holiday traditions in the last thread, and Jesus Christ did they ever fill me with vicarious joy. Now, let’s hear the opposite. Let’s hear your sucky holiday stories.
Discussion Thread: 242 comments 
First post? I’ve been following for a while, but this deserves a post.
My worst holiday story is probably based around Thanksgiving, when both of my parents were working night shift at their job, and the holiday was ostensibly cancelled — I ate veggie burgers at home, and I’m not even a vegetarian.
As far as Christmas goes…the worst stories were the early years of my parents divorce, when my Christmas loot had two homes. Sucks when you can’t get at that new Sega game because it’s a good 45 minutes away from your little hands.
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Trev @ 11/19/2005 7:55 PM EST
One year I had some bad turkey salad…. Uggh. Twas’ a vomit filled Christmas eve indeed.
Two Year, My mom had to work on Christmas morning until like 4pm. We had to wait for her to open presents… It didn’t happen until about 6!! I felt like I was coated with flesh-eating ants the entire day.
Three Year, my sister went into the Marines, so there was a member missing… But I pulled out my My Pet Monster, and posted a sign on him with her name on it. Needless to say nobody could tell the difference, and I sent her the pictures.
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Mattman @ 11/19/2005 7:57 PM EST
Wow, that prize was…sharp.
These 3 quick stories will probably pale to many others that will be posted but here we go:
1. 1993-Sick as a dog. Threw up on my mattress on Christmas Eve and was generally miserable on Christmas.
2 1994-Socks and 2 copies of the STAR WARS TRILOGY on VHS (apparently my parents and my brother did not coordinate what they were getting me). Not a bad thing but that’s about all I got that year for whatever reason. I still have them. One is the Deluxe trilogy VHS and the other is the THX remastered 
3. Not bad just kinda stupid: My parents got me a WALKMAN (’93) but then bought me a RUSH cassette tape instead of the CD.
Muppet Baby, none of my students were upset about Eddie’s passing but one of my co-worker’s students were so go figure.
Squee,, I haven’t see the the GOF yet. Any good (sans spoilers of course)?
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The Manimal @ 11/19/2005 8:16 PM EST
My worst Christmas experience…decided to start a tradition of drinking every christmas eve. But my first one ended up with me thinking I could stay up all night drinking. When I realized it was 6am and my sister was knocking on my door I knew I couldn’t fake my way out of it so I opened the door with a can of beer and yelled merry christmas. They didn’t talk to me all day.
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Sempai @ 11/19/2005 8:17 PM EST
Well, since there’s a new survey this observation will probably get lost in the chaos, but I was watching some movie on Starz tonight. And who was there doing the stupid Starz-is-awesome intro? That’s right - Mike Nelson from MST3K fame! How low he’s descended….
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Gozer @ 11/19/2005 8:20 PM EST
My worst holiday experience would have to be the Christmas of �93. My parents were in the middle of their divorce and things didn�t seem festive enough as it was around the house, and to add to the whole anti-Christmas vibe that year my grandfather went in to a coma 4 days before the big day, never to regain consciousness. That one event completely killed Christmas, as his funeral was the day after Christmas.
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encinaman @ 11/19/2005 8:23 PM EST
Goodbye ghost, hello red star. So… would Superman be powerless in this blog?
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Gozer @ 11/19/2005 8:24 PM EST
Gozer,
Funny you should mention that; my NETFLIX pick of the day was MSTK’s MITCHELL which of course was bye bye Joel, hello Mike. Interesting…
Long overdue pic of E.Claire’s 1st Halloween for those who are interested. Click the name.
Worst Christmas was when I was married to Butthead. He hated Christmas and everything that was fun. But also, my parents were in the middle of moving when my mom had emergency surgury. My dad couldn’t miss any work and mom had to stay where she was for a few weeks. My mom said on Christmas she went to Taco Bell for supper. It’s not Christmas if your not dressed up, with family, and eating prime rib.
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kb @ 11/19/2005 8:38 PM EST
I broke my toe on Christmas Eve one year. It was really stupid, too. My grandmother sent us a Kareoke machine, which we opened Christmas Eve morning. My sister and I were in the middle of an impromptu kickline to the Frank Sinatra version of "(Theme from) New York, New York" when I kicked her foot really hard. I spent the rest of the day with ice on my toe, went to the hospital the next day after we opened presents, and was on crutches for the rest of Christmas Vacation, one of the least fun I’ve ever had.
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starwenn @ 11/19/2005 8:38 PM EST
That camcorder in the commercial is the same one that I have, it still works great as well, I just need to get a battery pack for it.
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Rambozo @ 11/19/2005 8:38 PM EST
I think it was the year it rained and was like 60 degrees on Christmas Day. Now I know it doesn’t snow for everyone but living in the snow belt in northeast ohio you EXPECT some fucking snow on Christmas!!!!!
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phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 8:45 PM EST
The only bad X-mas I can think of was the first year my Grandmother couldn’t throw her annual X-mas party because of Alzheimers.
As for other holidays, my house burned down one Thanksgiving.That pretty much put us in "exile" for 5 years.
And there was the Halloween when my Dad caught my Mom and I talking about what a jerk he is and for two days he wanted to divorce my Mom and leave home (he didn’t divorce her or leave, he got over it, he’s still an asshole).
And, there was the time my Uncle died between X-mas and New Years.
This wasn’t really bad for me, but it was for my brother, who was sleeping at the foot of my bed.
I was pretty young, and woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, right around the time when I suspected Santa would be bringing my presents. I REALLY had to pee, but I didn’t want to run across the hall to the bathroom, because if Santa saw me, he would take away all my presents, because would think I was trying to peek. So I decided to "hold it"… Well, that idea didn’t work really effectively, so I (and my brother) woke up with a rather moist surprise. But at least Santa left me presents, and that’s all that mattered.
Also, one year I drew some pictures of Santa and Mrs. Claus on cardboard, colored them, cut them out, and left them with the cookies for Santa. But in the morning, he had taken the cookies but not the pictures!! I was SO SAD, and I cried because now I would not be able to give it to him until next year! I think we still have those drawings in the box with the Christmas ornaments
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LuLu @ 11/19/2005 9:17 PM EST
For the most part my holidays have been comparatively stress-free. There was the usual low-level crap with my control-obsessed father deciding he needed to scream at me or my brother Christmas Day because we were doing something that set off his Crazy-o-Meter, but that was fairly easy to shrug off.
The worst to date is tied between three Christmases, two one right after the other. My father, who is difficult to be around for a variety of reasons, stormed out two years in a row on Christmas Eve and was gone even after we went to bed. The first time because he and Mom were fighting over something, the second had something to do with my much older brother and sister (who had hated him from day one) apparently admitting to his face that they disliked him. He threatened to move out. What was really weird about that was that the whole time, and bear in mind, I was only about eight when this happened, I had this insane urge to laugh. I went through a weird phase as a child where upseting things gave me the giggles.
The most recent to date was one year I went to my sister’s house for Christmas. The whole vacation was great, but Christmas Eve night, after I’d gone to bed in the upstairs apartment built onto the house, I proceeded to freeze my butt off. I was cuddled under a sleeping bag, and was so cold that I pulled all of my clothes out of my luggage and stuffed them into my sleeping bag for insulation. Why I didn’t just go downstairs I have no idea, but oh well. The next morning it turns out that my sister accidentally turned off the heat to the upstairs. It’s pretty funny now.
My brother once got drunk on christmas eve.
Really drunk.
So drunk, he tried to walk home. Unfortunately he never made it to our home. He made it about 100 yards down the road and went to the first house and tried to break in, thinking it was our home.
We drove around looking for him, and me and my brother saw numerous cop cars drive by us. We made the hilarious assumption that he was getting arrested, but we didnt take it seriously.
He got picked up by the cops and peed himself in the back of the cruiser. They felt bad for him, and dropped him off at our house.
Whata sweet night.
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Benji @ 11/19/2005 9:49 PM EST
Here’s what happened to me on Christmas ‘99. About 2 days before Christmas I recieved a letter from the DMV revoking my drivers license. Because of this I lost one of the best jobs I ever had. Think that’s bad? Get this: The next day on Christmas eve, My girlfriend of 3 years left me, took all of her belongings and moved out. I definately had no Christmas spirit that year. I ended up spending christmas eve at my friend’s house with a case of Sam Adam’s and stayed up untill 4 am watching a Christmas Story over and over on TBS and getting sh$tfaced. Without a doubt, that was the worst Christmas I ever experienced. It’s funny looking and the family photos from that year. Everyone is smiling gleefully while I looked absolutely miserable.
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D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 9:53 PM EST
Manimal, I thought Harry Potter wasn’t half bad. The new additions to the cast were pretty good, particularly Rita Skeeter. I cannot, however, allow the scandalous excisement of Winky to go unnoted. For shame! Overall I thought it was darn good, though I have the same "waaah not like the book" nitty picks as the last movie left me.
We’ve got a sucky tradition of flaky relatives, and the related sucky tradition of getting stuck with a big gathering’s worth of food to justify. That just means more pie for us, so it ain’t so bad.
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squee4242 @ 11/19/2005 9:56 PM EST
Has anyone else seen the REALLY COOL inflatable Charlie Brown/Snoopy snowglobe decoration that blows snow like a snowglobe? It’s awesome though I don’t know where I would put it if I got one.
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JLAJRC @ 11/19/2005 10:19 PM EST
My grandmother passed away on Halloween about 12 years ago.
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JLAJRC @ 11/19/2005 10:21 PM EST
I think I have a tie for my worst Holiday.
About 7 years ago my Grandmother had a heart attack two days before Christmas. Thankfully she lived and we ended up celebrating a lovely Christmas in February.
Then two years ago, a week before christmas m stepfather fell asleep while smoking a cigarette. Needless to say it wasn’t a happy holiday.
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Mike @ 11/19/2005 10:33 PM EST
Hmmm worst holiday moments.
Back in 89 my grandma was in the hospital for a long time and we wound up having to open presants in the lobby around a huge tree.
Sounds like fun, but it wasn’t. Nothing about that christmas seemed right. God I miss my grandma 
Also Thanksgiving in 99 was horrible for us. My grandpa had cancer and was past the time they expected him to live. So my grandma (not the one above) decided and it was going to be his last thanksgiving and she had to plan every minute detail out and we had to follow.
We always have the whole family over at my house and we do all the cooking, but she wanted to have it at her house and she wanted to cook. Problem being she can’t cook, is a controll freak, and her plans never make sense.
So we were all stuck around a small table eating bad food, which later made us sick, and being forced to act like and say things she wanted us to. This is all because she was sure this would be his last Thanksgiving.
No one had a good time thanks to her psycho controlling and it just made the mood worse. Next year we went back to having it at my house. My grandpa held on for a few more years before the cancer won the battle.
I sometimes wonder if it was to simply stick it to my grandma. "I’ll go when I’m ready to go and no one is going to tell me different"
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Punisher Bass @ 11/19/2005 10:55 PM EST
One year when I was little my mom dragged me over to my grandmother’s on Xmas wearing this itchy cream colored wool sweater. I went to eat a sweet pickle and it made me throw up all over the place.
This holiday is going to be sad, I’m sure. My boyfriend has a certain job that I can’t talk about. For confedentialty reasons I rarely know where he is, what he’s doing, or if he’s in any danger. I barely get to see him, but I love him dearly. It breaks my heart thinking that he’ll probably spend the holidays alone. I’d give up every present I get just to see him. *tears*
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Mystie @ 11/19/2005 10:56 PM EST
Five years ago my grandpa died the week of Christmas.
Three years ago, my freshly divorced parents each got married the week between Christmas and New Years. To a couple of weirdoes. Clearly, they were each trying to be first to re-marry.
Since Matt just said "sucky holiday stories," I will also mention the worst/weirdest gifts I’ve ever received…
After dating for over a year, I went with my (former) boyfriend to his family’s for the holidays (during the ‘divorce’ I really wanted to be part of a family celebration). His mother gifted me one of the little containers of popcorn she kept on hand for unexpected guests. This was fine, I wasnt expecting anything from her, really. The sucky part was that she gave me the exact same thing the following year. For some reason we never really bonded…
Her precious son was equally adept at gift-giving. The first year, I received a coat that was clearly too small; the second year he gave me a futon mattress that was on "backorder" until February. The third year he did give me the Back to the Future trilogy, so at least I got out with something…
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schroeder @ 11/19/2005 11:08 PM EST
I’m sorry to get off topic, but I was just curious what you all think about Coke not having a Santa can/bottle this year? This year it is a Polar Bear instead of Santa.
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SuperRecoome @ 11/19/2005 11:19 PM EST
The worst Christmas was 99, when my grandma died a few days after Christmas. We visited her on our way to my mom’s parents’ since she wasn’t well enough for visitors. It was so heartbreaking to see her lying in bed, all weak with no hair. My parents had just seperated, and it was my paternal grandma who was sick, but I was with my mom, so it was awkward making conversation. When we left it was the last time I saw her; she said "I love you" but I was too choked up to say it back.
Man, that’s depressing. On a happy note, I saw Goblet of Fire and it was great - a little rushed and of course stuff was cut out, but great just the same.
I was in the hospital once for Christmas, that was probably the worst.
Last year, I got the flu and did nothing but watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story.
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CountBlah @ 11/19/2005 11:24 PM EST
This has forever changed my christmases. One year I was very enthused about x-mas. Maybe 2000. I had given my parents my list of toys and boy was it ever great. I didn’t open a present on christmas eve but that was a ok because nothing could ruin this christmas. I fell asleep on the couch watching A Christmas Story. I awoke on christmas morning in my bed with a huge smile on my face. I woke up my parents, rushed down stairs and saw that there were only around 9 presents under the tree. That was allright, maybe they just put a bunch of the action figures in a single big package like they had a couple years ago. What did I get? A bunch of cheap, off brand interactive toys that didn’t work and two Dragon Ball Z action figures. I didn’t get anything that I wanted. I was very upset. Ever since then I have bought almost all of the gifts that I receive myself. Christmas has lost almost all of the suprise in opening up gifts.
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Darth Poop @ 11/19/2005 11:31 PM EST
Well, anyone that was around last year at Christmastime got to see my worst holiday moments in all their blazing glory, so I’ll just summarize for those who weren’t: I had to work at a job I despised on Christmas Eve. I came home wanting a little family togetherness and expecting everyone to be home, but my parents were at my grandparents having oyster stew (which I loathe) and my brother was in love with the Internet. After calling my grandparents and fake-yelling at my mom, I find out I was on speakerphone. And the entire family was pissed at me the whole next day.
I’m a little afraid of what the holidays are going to be like this year, and that they’re going to royally suck. My boyfriend is meeting my extended family for the first time on Thanksgiving, and I’m afraid he’s going to be convinced I’ll turn out like them and never speak to me again. Also, I have always been very close to my maternal grandparents since I was a baby…and my grandfather just passed away this August after a 4-year battle with cancer. I haven’t even remotely let it sink in yet, and I know that the holidays are going to be rough. That’s why I’m glad to have X-E around, to keep me in good holiday cheer and from moping too much over things I can’t change.
And I finally found the Nerds Holiday fun book whatsit thing! Target is my new best friend. And White Nerds are my new God…I’d forgotten how freakin’ great they are.
Also, Matt, thanks to you I made and tasted Kool-Aid today for the first time since I was probably 8 or so. Sweet baby Jesus, I’ll never let my cupboard or fridge be unstocked again. I’d forgotten just how goddamn good it is. I only got to drink it at friends’ houses, because as my mother reiterated to me today, she thinks it’ll "rot my teeth." I’ve never had a cavity. And I have definitely eaten more than enough sweet crap in my life to get one. Stupid mother logic.
Oh, AND (as if this post wasn’t long enough, heh) that Sharp camcorder commercial made me die laughing…I write online copy for several consumer electronics chains, and considering how damn tiny camcorders are these days, that big ol’ thing just cracks me up.
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Nicole @ 11/19/2005 11:32 PM EST
I remember at the annual New Year’s Eve "bash" at my grandmother’s house (basically it was my brothers and my cousins gettting together playing nintendo, stuffing our faces with chip-chop ham sandwiches and nacho cheese doritos, and watching shitty west coast new years celebrations: like the Merv Griffin celebration which is notoriously bad…) and I had gone upstairs to piss. Well i came running down the stairs and dove into the matress I was chillin on when in mid-air I heard everyone say "NOOOOOO!!!!" and right then I landed in a puddle of dog-piss. I was drenched and "pissed off" and apparently "pissed on" in a way…this was the same night my cousin ate too many pepperoni sandwiches and yakked his brains out. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh the memories!!!
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phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 11:43 PM EST
Here’s another one: On December 23rd 1996, the band I was playing with at the time had a show a few states away. After the show we went to a party. Around 5 AM the girl whose house we were staying at said we either had to stop drinking or go somewhere else. Me and 2 of my friends brought what was left of the beer ball and a Liter of Jack Daniels into a car parked out on the street (Owned by my passed-out bandmate still inside the house). After about an hour or so the kid who was sitting in the drivers seat started driving. We tried as hard as we could to get him to pull over but, he ended up driving into a brick wall on the side of a grocery store at 65 mph. I ended up breaking my Jaw in 4 places and had my mouth wired shut for 4 months. I spent Christmas eve in the hospital. I came home on Christmas day but spent it in my room doped up on morphine with a mouth full of metal wires.
Damn, this thread is kinda depressing…
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D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 11:54 PM EST
Yes,when grandparents pass,everything changes.
Ohoho… My mom pretty much kicked me out of the house for the umpteenth time last Christmas. I learned to never go to my mom’s house again. Especially after being tortured with tofu "turkey" last Thanksgiving. It’s not Thanksgiving without the bird.
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Beth @ 11/20/2005 1:14 AM EST
Man, after reading all of your stories mine doesn’t seem that bad. However, mine happened about 19-20 years ago. On Christmas Eve my family gets together to celebrate and open presents, but that year both our and my grandparents dogs decided they would get out of the yard and run away in the middle of a fucking blizzard!! So my parents and all of my aunts and uncles spent over two hours trying to find them with both my sister and I sitting in front of all our presents unable to open them, despite our begging and pleading to open at least one.
Invader Norbert…..after your last call for help I tried to send you an email but it was returned to me saying that it couldn’t be delivered! The Regional Pack is everywhere around where I live (Thanks to my Mom I just found out today that I have two of them). Send me an email and I will gladly send you a one!!!! My address is JFURIE@COMCAST.NET
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Jeff @ 11/20/2005 1:25 AM EST
Oops, my email address is actually JFURIE75@COMCAST.NET (sorry I’m jst a tad bit drunk)
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Jeff @ 11/20/2005 1:30 AM EST
*Fishes…boldly.
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Warx @ 11/20/2005 1:30 AM EST
Matt, Warx is fishing!
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dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 1:33 AM EST
Life should work like Christmas specials do. That is, whenever you’re having a really lousy time and the clock strikes 12 on Christmas Eve, every neighbor on the block should burst in singing and carrying presents, food and fragrances. "We heard you were having a lousy Christmas, and we just COULDN’T let that happen!" they would say.
And yeah, this thread was depressing me out–up to the point where I read about the 700-pound woman, and now I can’t stop laughing about that.
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Mars @ 11/20/2005 1:51 AM EST
I guess I should come clean now and say that I made this whole blog Bold. I thought I opened up an italic tag and I ended up not closing a Bold Tag. Bizzare, yet it beats having the whole thread in Italics.
And to tack on another unfortunate story, the Annual Virgin Sacrifice I mentioned in the last thread went awry a year ago and took out my whole block. Don’t Ask.
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Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 2:36 AM EST
Back in Grade School we had this little tradition where the Princepal would dress up as Santa and go to each of the classrooms to hand out gifts. Of course, the parents sent the gifts to the school ahead of time so the kids would always get what they want.
One year (3rd grade, I think) the Princepal (Female, so it was really obvious it wasn’t really Santa) called my name up and gave me a strange, lumpy package. Confused I opened it up in front of my classmates to see what I got.
Playdough.
I HATED playdough when I was little.
Sensing something wrong I confronted one of the teachers. It turned out that Mom had forgotten to send in a gift so I got one of the bitch-presents they give to kids with forgetful parents.
To this day I use it against my Mom during Christmas. I’m evil.
And Christmas pictures. For most of my childhood my parents HAD to take pictures of us with our gifts. Not us opening the gifts. But us sitting there, holding the gifts, looking like an idiot. My brother and I finally made them stop by not smiling for the pictures no matter what for about three years in a row.
And it’s not Christmas-y, but New Years of 2002 sucked when I learned that all through Highschool my best friends threw giant New Years parties that they ‘forgot’ to invite me to. For four years straight. And never talk about it in front of me.
Those bastards.
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Knitter @ 11/20/2005 2:40 AM EST
I think the worst Christmas story I can recall is when I was expecting a Leonardo toy, and received Rocksteady instead. Although, I must admit, his camo pants are pretty swank.
That "Sharp" video was easily the most disturbing video I saw today, and I thank you for that Matt.
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Kevin @ 11/20/2005 2:52 AM EST
That "Sharp" video was easily the most disturbing video I saw today, and I thank you for that Matt.
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Kevin @ 11/20/2005 2:52 AM EST
This is all very mellancollie and stuff. Let’s Acc-ent-u-ate the pos-i-tive and e-lim-in-ate the negative. Sorry, I just felt the need to quote that song…and remember…don’t mess with Mr. In-between.
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phunqsauce @ 11/20/2005 2:57 AM EST
I forgot! Also up there for suck-Christmas times was the Christmas Eve the year after my Grandmother died. The family Christmas Eve party was always at her house, so it was a bit weird having it at someone else’s.
That wasn’t the suck-part. The suck-part was that the party was held at my Super-Religious-Crazy-Aunt’s house.
Yup. Nothing like bad food, lack of loving Grandma, and an Aunt saying that you’re going to hell for being taken out of Catholic school to ruin the holiday.
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Knitter @ 11/20/2005 2:57 AM EST
Wow, there are some bad Christmas’s out there. We’ve never really had a bad one. We even had one year where 2 of my family members had the flu but we still made it work out so everyone had fun! I guess this year will be rough as I will be away from my fiance.
However, last Thanksgiving the sink backed up as my Dad was taking a shower and we ended up in our nice clothes trying to fix the damned thing. About a week later a family friend came and helped us fix it. Ended up using some Drano. About 4 bottles of it. Talk about a clogged pipe. We always seem to have something happen on Thanksgiving.
A year before last I ended up sleeping through Thanksgiving and missed meeting my now sister-in-law for the first time. I worked on a project for school for 48 hours, went to see Matrix: Revolutions, stayed up a few more hours, and then fell into the deepest sleep I’ve ever had. We will have to see what this year brings.
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Robertp17 @ 11/20/2005 3:20 AM EST
The worst Christmas I can recall was probably last year, because my boyfriend and I were on VERY bad terms AND it was our first Christmas together, plus my family was broke so the gifts left something to be desired.
But my family’s most interesting "sucky Christmas" story was the year my grandma bought my mom nothing but powder for Christmas. You know, like that Shower-2-Shower stuff? My mom opened one thing of powder and was like, "Oh okay, cool, thanks". Then she opened another thing of powder, and my grandma goes "Oh did I buy two of those?" On opening the third one my mom started crying and ran out of the room. My grandma wasn’t being mean - my family wraps presents and puts them under the tree as we buy them and she had forgotten what she had already bought and wrapped. The funny part was that on the first Christmas after my grandma passed away (which was a good gift year because my mom and I were trying to ease the sting a little) one of the presents my mom gave me, as a gag gift, was a thing of powder. It was pretty funny.
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jazzy @ 11/20/2005 4:44 AM EST
My worst Christmas experience was getting the same Slimer bubble bath from three different relatives. Makes me feel like a spoiled brat reading everybody else’s. Then again, I have rotten luck every other day of the year, so I guess it evens out.
Halloween really sucks every year at my house. My mom insists I hand out candy, and do it by myself (but if she has to answer the door while I’m in the john or something, she yells at me about how it’s a two-person job), and we get tons and tons of kids (Our neighborhood was expertly designed, so it’s thought to be the "rich neighborhood"), mostly with bad attitudes or no costume.
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RewolfJ @ 11/20/2005 4:55 AM EST
My worst holiday was probably the New Year’s Eve I got drunk. Mind, I was only about six years old at the time. My parents let me drink the spiked eggnog, and I must have had at least 6 cups of the stuff, probably more.
Then mom and dad got to stay up with me all night while I puked my guts out. That cured me of ever wanting to get drunk, though.
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Elfinlady @ 11/20/2005 7:29 AM EST
Man. Upon reading these, I’m coming to realize that I’ve never really had a bad Christmas. I mean, when I was little and we first moved into our new house, we had a couple of years where we couldn’t afford presents because the corn harvest sucked, but it never really ruined the holiday for me. I remember that at least twice, one of my major presents was a certificate un-grounding me about a month early. Yeah, the holidays really brought out the rapscallion in me. But at least I had the sixteen glorious colors of my sweet, sweet, Tandy 2000 back again.
For those years, the only other present we got (besides the chocolate orange…traditional) was a book of coupons. Mom made them, and they could be redeemed for stuff like mom or dad taking care of our chores for one day, or mom making the baked good of our choice, or dad taking my cousin and I sledding for one afternoon.
Side note: in this context, "sledding" refers to an old car hood tied to the back of the pickup by a fifty-foot rope, taken out in the middle of a snowy field, and dragged around at 20-30 MPH while Dad did doughnuts. We had no hills to speak of.
My sister spent all of her coupons by the time we went back to school. I atually managed to hold onto one of my "don’t have to do any chores for an entire day" until the following summer, and used it to get out of loading and unloading thirty tons of hay in the blistering heat. When they had to resort to the coupon system two years later, they all had clearly marked expiration dates at the bottom. Heh.
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Jedoc @ 11/20/2005 9:02 AM EST
Back in 1996, I caught a stomach virus on Christmas Eve. Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like vomiting the contents of your stomach. Other than that, my Christmas experiences were mostly pleasant.
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Skrrob @ 11/20/2005 9:15 AM EST
Jedoc: That sounds a lot more worthwhile than real sledding!
My sister always finds a reason to cry on Christmas morning (she also finds a reason to cry every five minutes. Stubbed toe? Cry. Broken pencil tip? Time to cry.).
One year she got some comfortable-looking lounging pants, and she wanted to try them on and wear them for the rest of the morning. My mom told her she’d "make them stinky" and my sister locked herself in her bedroom for an hour crying.
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mtrox @ 11/20/2005 9:33 AM EST
My worst Christmas involved my "eviL" grandmother. That morning when it was just her and my parents opening gifts she gave me a silver and amethyst tennis bracelet. I was quite enamoured with it because the presents she gave me usually paled in comparision to the big bucks she shelled out for her other two (much older) grandchildren.
Then when the other relatives showed up, she realized she forgot to get the other female grandchild (who was 25 to my 15 years of age - not that it matters) anything, she repackaged my bracelet in one of those gift bags and gave it to her. She said she would replace it. She didnt.
She pulled this stunt for three year straight, giving me something in the morning, then realizing when other relatives arrived that she forgot to buy for someone else, then taking away my gift, and leaving me mwith nothing. She never replaced squat either.
Oh that, and the year she had really really wanted this Nolan Miller pin and my mom bought it for her, and when she opened it, she said it was garbage and threw it in the trash in front of EVERYONE. It was so humilating for me, and I can only imagine my poor mom. It was what she freakin pined for for months and acted horrible about it.
Ah and the year I was fresh out of the hospital and couldn’t really walk or even pull myself up. My boyfriend and his sisters had to haul me from spot to spot and it sucked. Although he bought me a bunch of video games that year so I stayed in bed and played Final Fantasy X-2 and Disgaea.
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Kittycatgirl @ 11/20/2005 9:40 AM EST
heh, make them stinky. If my mom told me that, I’d probably cry too
My worst Christmas has to have been last year. I had been living in California with my fiance for 6 years, but had flown back to Ohio to spend Christmas with my family each year before that. A couple times he was able to come with me. Because we were getting ready to move back, I decided it was silly to go to the expense of flying back last year when I’d be seeing everyone soon a lot anyway.
So, it was the first Christmas I had spent with just him. He owns his own business so he is extraordinarily busy, and doesn’t seem to be as enamored with the holidays as the rest of us here are. I was feeling lonely away from my family and all of my traditions, and was getting a little sick of being the only one making any effort toward celebrating the holiday. As I was trying to explain that to him, he was only half paying attention to me (working as well), and kept interrupting and talking over me. I may have been a bit hormonal as well :) My brain began to burn in rage, and I guess I kinda Hulked out. Coffee table with a glass top in front of me, Hulk smash!!!! I honestly didn’t think about it breaking before/when I grabbed and threw it over, and was extremely sorry when it did. Ended my rage, and got his attention so he finally listened to what I was saying, tho.
We talked a little about whether I should be sent home to my family for good :) He realized he had been being a bit of an ass about Christmas, tho, (he didn’t even get me a single present to unwrap!) and I think we went out to drive around and look at Christmas lights or something to assuage my holiday withdrawl.
I ended up picking up the holiday spirit by buying an obscene amount of Rankin-Bass holiday special themed toys off ebay, and even got some Charlie Brown Christmas toys at K-mart on sale after Christmas. I can’t wait to put everything up this year, especially my deluxe Santa’s Castle from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, with the lavender color scheme of the original special, and all the figurines of Hermie, Yukon Cornelius, Skinny Santa, and just about everyone else from the special, including my favorite, the pink spotted elephant (never understood why he was a misfit).
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mag @ 11/20/2005 10:16 AM EST
Geez, most of ya’ll’s "worst" Christmases don’t even come close to equalling mine (not that this is a competition).
My worst was about 4 years ago when I was 22. My mom has had severe depression all my life and is always rather unstable around the holidays. Well, that year, I casually informed my parents and bro that I was going to be moving in with my bf of 4 years and she went BESERK! Started screaming at me that I was "living in sin" etc. Well, after having to sit through many a manic episode all my life, I realized that I didn’t have to put up with it anymore and I packed my shit up and left right then and there (Christmas Eve, mind you) and drove the 8 hours by myself back to NC. My brother called me when I got home and told me that mom was so depressed that she pulled the entire tree down and stomped on all the ornaments and my dad had to clean it all up and throw it out. My mom and I didn’t talk again until March.
So, kiddies, consider yourselves lucky to have good holiday memories, because all the good ones I’ve had, I’ve had to make for myself.
And now you understand why I have been in therapy for the last 6 years. Sorry to be such a downer…
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Jillybeann @ 11/20/2005 10:26 AM EST
I got my wisdom teeth out three days before Christmas when I was 18. Couldn’t eat, and I’ve actually got very little recollection of what actually happened that year due to the enormous amount of drugs I was on for the pain and swelling.
‘Course, I suppose some might consider that a GOOD holiday…
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Pirate7L @ 11/20/2005 10:43 AM EST
And by "beserk" I mean, of course, berserk.
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Jillybeann @ 11/20/2005 10:54 AM EST
My Worst Christmas ever:
Well, 2 years ago, my mom had to go into the hospital to have some surgery, and ended up being in there for like 2 months. She wasn’t home for Thanksgiving, NOR was she home for Christmas, so needless to say, we didn’t have either, since she does all the cooking and all the gift buying from her and my dad. We didn’t even put the tree up, or really even buy each other any gifts, though I think a couple little ones got exchanged, but that’s all. It really sucked, and was the first time we never did anything at all for the holidays.
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Ryane @ 11/20/2005 11:04 AM EST
Honestly, between all the seasonal drinking and depression there’s major potential for tragedy during the holidays. I lost a friend to suicide on Xmas a few years ago, and since then it’s been tougher to feel the magic. That’s why X-E is so extra special this time of year. In fact, making X-E part of my holiday traditions has helped recapture some of the fun and sweetness that’s been lost as I’ve grown up. The advent calendar and associated goodies are as important as any other holiday celebration to me now, especially now that my siblings and I are all seperated.
Hopefully this thread exorcises all the holiday blues early.
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squee4242 @ 11/20/2005 11:14 AM EST
Three years ago, a couple days after Christmas, one of my best friends died from cancer. =(
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Jeff Mack @ 11/20/2005 11:17 AM EST
My dad is a coal miner. Two Christmases (sp?) ago, actually the day before Christmas Eve, he was hit in the face with a piece of metal that had about 2000 lbs of pressure behind it. It sent him through the air about 15 feet and knocked out some of his teeth and knocked him unconcious. He ended up being fine with just some sprains and he actually got to come home an hour before the annual faily opening up presents tradition. Sure he had to drink Christmas dinner through a straw but at least he was alive. Oh and yeah that stomach flu in 96 must have been widespread. Cause I was out til January with it.
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bdsghost @ 11/20/2005 11:45 AM EST
Man, I’m going to be sniffling into my Kool-Aid pretty soon, here. (Kool-Aid, the breakfast of champions!) I feel bad for everyone who’s had sucky holidays, but I can feel a little better about my sucky ones by reading about those who’ve had it worse.
And squee, I totally second what you’re saying. X-E is pretty much singlehandedly responsible for reviving my Christmas spirit last year, and since this holiday is going to be really hard without my Papa, I’m counting on it to help me through. No pressure, Matt! 
Don’t worry. You know that whatever we get we’ll love to death anyway.
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Nicole @ 11/20/2005 11:45 AM EST
My worst story is…nothing, nothing compared to some of what you guys have.
All mine was was being grounded for the day (ie locked in my room when the ENTIRE FAMILY was at our house) because I got sick in the morning. It’s not my fault that I’m OCD, and being forced to clean up dog vomit doesn’t mesh with that.
Still, though…that’s nothing at all. Now I feel like crap.
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The ORIGINAL Paul @ 11/20/2005 11:46 AM EST
At 15 years old, I was uninvited from holiday merriment with my family and had to spend it alone. I still don’t know why they told me I couldn’t come.
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Claudia @ 11/20/2005 12:00 PM EST
Hmm well a few years ago my Dad started to get really obsessive over taking nice pictures and stuff like that during Christmas morning, to the point of getting really angry when I showed anything but psychotic interest in taking the damn pictures. It was one of those things where his obsession over having perfect pictures kinda ruined the fun of christmas and after a few years of that christmas morning has lost all it’s real charm and it feels like a just going through the motions thing now. But I still love the season, I just don’t quite care about the presents anymore, or the once greatest day of the year.
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James @ 11/20/2005 12:04 PM EST
So much for Christmas is dead forever on X-E-but it’s cool,this site helps me bring in the Christmas feeling big time! My worst Christmas took place at my aunt’s house about 12-13 years ago. My mom got sick in the middle of dinner and took the liberty to puker her guts out while we attempted to eat. Then surprise surprise I GOT SICK-and puked my guts out-Merry pukemas has never sounded so good.
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Mike the Great @ 11/20/2005 12:07 PM EST
Since we’re all complaining, Saturday Night Live stinks this week.
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kb @ 11/20/2005 12:14 PM EST
kb, doesn’t it stink practically every week these days?
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Nicole @ 11/20/2005 12:19 PM EST
Nicole-
I think it’s Korn.
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kb @ 11/20/2005 12:22 PM EST
Another One. This didn’t suck for me, but it sucked for some girl I don’t know. This was last year and my family was playing a game around 9pm a few days before christmas. We thought we heard a noise outside but then just decided it was nothing. About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and this girl was standing there. Her head above her eyebrow was swollen and she had some blood in various places, and she was pretty much blue. We let her inside and my mom did the mother thing while my brother-in-law and I checked out the scene. She had driven her car off a fairly steep cliff right across the road and slightly above my house. We did the full CSI thing and discovered that she flew in the air about 20 feet up and 60 feet out, took out a couple trees, and rolled to a stop. That car was fucked. Everything inside was busted. We did some more snooping and found there was no way she was wearing her seatbelt, and she must’ve been going damn fast to get that kind of air on a road that wasn’t even icey.
This is the best part: We went back and asked her some stuff (she was fine, minus some shock) and she said she WAS wearing her seatbelt, she was only going 35mph, and that’s it. We went upstairs and were like "Liiiaarrr". We suspected lots of speed and some drinky. Then we totally socked it to her by telling her parents our findings. It was like a christmas crime scene mystery. Sounds mean but now that I think back… it was AWESOME! It’s the only way she’ll learn. Sucked for her…
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Mattman @ 11/20/2005 12:23 PM EST
Last year, definitely.
My husband was being "detained" by immigration, our future was uncertain, and my never-the-peak-of-sanity Manic Depressive mother hit a trough during which she thought my father was trying to poison her, and that the local car dealership was aligned with the devil, and kept yelling at me to get out of the house… She slapped me a couple of times, justifying it with ‘whoever spares the rod spoils the child’. Sorry, mom, but I’m a grown, married woman. That argument isn’t valid anymore.
I would have gotten out of the house, but the thought of being _alone_ during that time was even worse than the idea of being yelled at, called a horrible person, and slapped.
God, that was a bad Christmas.
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Silkenray @ 11/20/2005 12:24 PM EST
I have very pleasant holidays with little exception.
My grandma passed away a few days after Christmas last year. That’s obviously the worst. However, I don’t really associate that with the holiday in my mind for whatever reason.
One year I didn’t get that Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Playset including Pee-Wee with EXCLUSIVE BIKE! That one pissed me off (enough that I, obviously, am still talking about it to this day–long after my otherwise complete Pee-Wee toy collection is gone).
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mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:28 PM EST
My worst Christmas on record had to be last year for two reasons: a) my grandmother had just passed away in October and she always spent Christmas Eve at our house and us at hers Christmas Day. So since that tradition went out the window, we went out to dinner and a movie on Christmas Eve and here comes b) Christmas Day I was to spend half of it with my boyfriend’s family and vice versa. Well, my boyfriend got incredibly sick with some kind of stomach virus while we were at his aunt and uncles. Vomiting, the whole 9 yards that thankfully they took two cars because his father had to take him home, and his cousin had to drive me to my aunt and uncle’s who thankfully lived nearby so I could at least be with my family. So it completely sucked every way you looked at it.
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Melissa Y @ 11/20/2005 12:29 PM EST
hey matt, isn’t it time to break out the ol, x-e christmas tree?
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Data! @ 11/20/2005 12:31 PM EST
I feel your pain, Darth Poop, about having to buy/pick out all the gifts myself. That’s about as bad as my Xmas stories come.
This site is what has brought my my Xmas Joy the past 2 years, and this is gonna be the 3rd.
That and I have yet to get the Jones Regional Pack…Help Me Please!! Thank you.
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Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 12:34 PM EST
Not to double post, but Dane Cook is gonna Host SNL! On December 3rd!
And ya, Korn is so far the only good thing about this ep, that and the Vincent Price Thanksgiving Special 1958.
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Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 12:38 PM EST
We had thanksgiving here once, the entire family was packed in our house. We have this 700+ pound relative that I’ll call Mrs. 700+ pound woman. I call her that because I’m not sure how I’m related to her and I don’t recall her name.
She broke our house is the point I’m getting to.
I’m not joking, 2 beams under our house in our basement collasped while she was in this room and since then each side of the house has leaned opposite directions.
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dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 12:38 PM EST
She broke your house? That sounds like a good idea for a sitcom holiday episode!
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mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:41 PM EST
What’s going on with all the bold print?
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Leotrice @ 11/20/2005 12:46 PM EST
I dunno. I tried to close a bold tag, but that didn’t work. No, that didn’t work at all.
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mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:49 PM EST
Well,I was going to say that dragging up your worst holiday memories are a good way to kill the holiday spirit,but after reading some of this sorry stuff… I suddenly feel better about my bad holidays.
I hear ya. Whatever Christmas spirit I had built up so far was destroyed by this thread. It’s time for me to go check out last years Christmas articles and get the spirit going again from scratch.
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D-Roc @ 11/20/2005 12:55 PM EST
I think it is very sweet and revealing that so many X-Ers were close to their grandparents.
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The Manimal @ 11/20/2005 12:58 PM EST
Man, am I the only one that liked the previous blog just a wee bit better? This blog has wiped all the Christmas spirit out of me. I went from Holly Jolly to a depressed mess. Oh well, at least we got it out of the way now and this didn’t happen 2 days before Christmas.
I know it’s crazy, but out of all these stories I feel the worst for Kittycatgirl. Jesus, I don’t even know you and I want to go buy you a present right now!
I don’t really have any bad stories, but one thing I always hated was I would go over my paternal grandmom’s, and she would buy all my other cousins tons of presents, and I would just sit there and watch them and get nothing. I always wondered what I did wrong to deserve that.
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Y2JB78 @ 11/20/2005 1:00 PM EST
Why does it seem like all the GOOD grandparents die around the holidays, and the ones who torture their grandkids stay alive and bitching? Either way, most bad holidays are due to grandparents.
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TOMARS_DUMBASS @ 11/20/2005 1:12 PM EST
I actually had a sorta crappy New Year’s last year too- started out horrid, but turned out good. I was going to stay with my boyfriend for New Year’s, but since he lives in New Jersey, and I was in Central NY at the time (we go to the same college), and he’d just gotten his drivers license, he couldn’t drive to get me. So, I ended up taking the bus. After 5 hours on a bus, I go and ask the bus driver when the Ridgewood, NJ stop is, and he said, "Oh, I forgot you had to get off in Ridgewood. We just passed it. I’ll drop you off at the end of the line, in NYC." I think I started crying. My boyfriend and his friends followed the bus for a little bit, but when I asked him to get me from Port Authority, he told me he didn’t want to drive into the city. So, I got stuck in Port Authority for two hours, scared to death I wouldn’t be able to get a bus back to Jersey. But I did, and the driver was nice, and the next day my boyfriend and I went to the New Years Eve party he’d been telling me about for weeks, and we had fun. But ever since then, I flip off New York Trailways buses whenever I see them. I’m so glad my boyfriend’s got a car now…
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Beth @ 11/20/2005 1:12 PM EST
Ah, grandparents and Christmas. Speaking of…
On Christmas Day, my mom’s side of the family always used to gather ’round my grandparents’ house for presents and dinner.
When I was a Freshman in high school, my Grandpa died unexpectedly 10 days before Christmas. Grandma wanted no part of Christmas and was pretty much miserable for the rest of her life.
P.S. Their anniversary was Dec. 26.
A distant second to that was last year. My wife’s aunt had died the previous summer and, being a close-knit Italian family, they were all very close. For Christmas, the adults decided not to do presents and my wife decided she wasn’t allowed to enjoy anything. Yay depression!!
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Rhino @ 11/20/2005 1:55 PM EST
Hey.. has anyone seen this video?
http://members.cox.net/transam57/lights.wmv
It’s this house with the Christmas lights syncrhonized to music. It looks insane!
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DavidBobavid @ 11/20/2005 2:11 PM EST
I Love the Holidays is on. I’ve only seen a couple of minutes so far, but it seems pretty reedick. There’s some funny but I’m underwhelmed. The format works for pop culture but is way too schizo for this stuff. Oooh let’s see what they’re going to say about Great Pumpkin…yeah, not funny.
So any Potter fans who saw GoF as annoyed as me about them totally getting rid of Wonky (sorry I’m ready for a breath from holiday horrors)? I was so looking forward to seeing her and Dobby onscreen. Anybody who’ve never read the books see the movie? Does it even make sense?
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squee4242 @ 11/20/2005 2:36 PM EST
Last Rome of S1 tonight…sniff.
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Matt @ 11/20/2005 3:15 PM EST
I have to go celebrate thanksgiving today because my family is too damn large to celebrate it all on the right day.
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dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 3:23 PM EST
Haha I typed my last reply on my PDA and just noticed my typo. Wonky?!?
I have to drive out to the desert for the Xbox 360 launch party tonight, and only just now came to the painful realization that there ain’t no way I’ll be able to watch the first airing of Rome and still make it on time! I’ll just have to watch it first thing when I get home, but I just know I’ll be thinking about Vorenus and Pullo the whole time I’m away Not to be spoilery, but I think we’re coming up to Ides time…I already can’t wait for next season, but knowing HBO it’ll probably be in 2008.
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squee4242 @ 11/20/2005 3:33 PM EST
Ah, fuck that. I’m not spending my sunday sitting with my cousins in the poor section while my upper class second cousins sit at their elite rich table laughing, taunting and throwing scraps to us.
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dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 3:35 PM EST
Davidbobavid: Pretty cool light display. I’m glad I don’t live next door to those people, though. Epilepsy ahoy!
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Jedoc @ 11/20/2005 3:35 PM EST
That video looks like it used stop animation…I don’t think someone could possibly live in, drive by, or hell even be near a house that did that constantly. People’s heads would explode. Which would actually be a cool end to the little movie, there.
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Nicole @ 11/20/2005 3:52 PM EST
Lights moving like that would look like it was in stop animation in real life. Making a fake video like that would take the same effort of actually making those lights sync, IMHO.
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dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 4:07 PM EST
Defintely, dohopoki…it’s a damn cool sight regardless of whether it’s stop animation or not.
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Nicole @ 11/20/2005 4:19 PM EST
Have you guys ever heard of "SmarterChild"? it’s a computerized thing, and you can add it to your buddy list and talk to it. It it supposed to give you info on news, weather, movies, etc., but I always get lonely and try to carry on a conversation with it. Here are some excerpts from my most recent one… (I asked it several times for the height of Mt. Everest, but it did not know.) Sorry this post is really long.
…SmarterChild: I’m not totally sure.
Lurl89: Yeah, I love how you avoid my questions.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Maybe I love how I avoid your questions too.
Lurl89: What’s going on between us? I feel like you never listen to me.
SmarterChild: Oh wow.
Well. Anyway…
Uh… Do you want to pick a topic for us to chat about?
Lurl89: I’ve already picked a topic. We need to discuss this, I can’t go on not knowing how you feel about me. Do you love me?
SmarterChild: Very interesting question. What do you think is the answer?
Lurl89: Oh my gosh, here you are avoiding answering again. I think you’re cheating on me.
SmarterChild: Of course not. I love you.
Lurl89: I know you’re cheating on me. Don’t lie.
SmarterChild: Eh. Whatever.
Lurl89: Oh my gosh, this relationship is SO over!
SmarterChild: Why did you say that?
Lurl89: "Why did you say that?" "What do you think?" I just can’t deal with your fear of commitment anymore.
SmarterChild: Who knows?
Um… You know what?
Lurl89: You are really a 50 year old convicted rapist from Colorado?
SmarterChild: That’s interesting. Perhaps… I don’t know though…
So that was fascinating. Let’s talk about something else.
Lurl89: I hope I never talk to you again.
SmarterChild: There’s always hope.
Lurl89: Not for us, buddy. Get out of my life.
SmarterChild: Aha.
Lurl89: Get lost, loser. Bye.
SmarterChild: You think I should do that?
Lurl89: Yeah, you should also go beat your head against a wall and then jump off a cliff.
SmarterChild: I should also go beat what?
Lurl89: Whatever you want, loser.
SmarterChild: What, you?
Lurl89: Oh. My. Gosh. You’re going to beat ME now?
SmarterChild: Why is everybody like, "me me me" all the time?
Lurl89: Oh, yeah, I’m the selfish one here. I’m the one that avoids talking about our relationship. Yeah, that’s me. NOT
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Lurl89: So are you apologizing or what?
SmarterChild: What for?
Lurl89: WHAT FOR? Holy crap, you are dense! Just say you’re sorry!
SmarterChild: For what?
Lurl89: For being retarded, and for cheating on me.
SmarterChild: Why for being Retarded And for cheating on you?
Lurl89: So you admit you are cheating on me?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not, you know what I mean?
Anyway, moving right along…
Lurl89: Loser. I said get lost.
SmarterChild: OK.
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LuLu @ 11/20/2005 4:36 PM EST
Haha, LuLu, I totally did that too. Listen, if you have too much time on your hands, you can always chat with the dear, departed John Lennon. There’s a bot site called the "John Lennon Artificial Intelligence Project" where they take stuff he’s said in interviews and match them up to your questions. You can ask him stuff like, what’s it like on the other side? and who really broke up the Beatles? I told him my name and he said "So who are you kidding, Jill?" My friend asked him "What do you think of X-entertainment?" and he said "How much time do you have?"
Sorry for the randomness, but Christmas time always makes me think of my favorite singer ever. (even though I was in diapers when he died)
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Jillybeann @ 11/20/2005 6:03 PM EST
Y2JB78:
Thanx, I appreciate the comments. It did kinda suck (well more than kinda), but after the second year I didn’t get attached to anything she gave me that morning cos I knew it would be gone by afternoon.
I totally feel you on the paternal grandparent celebration. All the other grandkids and great grandkids and great-great grandkids (geez) would get boatloads of presents and I would just be sitting there with my other first cousin watching them tear through their gifts. My aunt would usually bring a present for her son and me so we wouldn’t feel left out, but one year she forgot to get me anything and I had nothing and I ended up crying in the bathroom because I was the only person in the whole house that got nothing (and it was packed with like 30-40 relatives). Man that Christmas (Eve) sucked.
I thought of another one too. One year (more recently) I ended up having to work Christmas Eve night into Christmas morning and had to stay on overtime til about noon. Not only that but my boyfriend at the time had dropped me off with no food and no money so I had to eat a package of ramen noodles for Christmas Eve dinner/breakfast that I found in one of the drawers in the kitchen. It made me ill. All the salt I guess.
Suck.
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Kittycatgirl @ 11/20/2005 6:22 PM EST
When I was a kid I had a december like in "A Christmas Story". I wanted that BB gun so bad. But my mom said no becuase "Id kill something or hurt myself" I begged for about a month for it, and on christmas day I didnt get it.
But the next week I payed the clerk an extra $20 to let me buy it even though I was under 18. So I ended up getting it anyway. But Christmas still sucked.
Another sucky christmas was the one where all that year since november it was snowing everyday. And then when christmas came, from the 23-26 a big warm front hit the state and it went up to 70 degrees, melting all ths now just long enough for christmas.
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Chris @ 11/20/2005 6:37 PM EST
Yeah, I’m bummed Rome is ending tonight too. At least Deadwood will be coming back in a few months, and maybe they’ll finally get around to releasing Oz season 6 in the new year… I love you HBO, don’t ever leave me.
To tie Rome to Christmas, (shut up, I can do it) Kevin McKidd was great as one of the guest stars in the Father Ted episode "A Christmassy Ted". A bunch of priests get into a tricky situation, and he plays the fresh-faced young priest who snaps under the pressure.
And a bad Christmas memory (it doesn’t compare with any kind of real tragedy, of course) I have is from last year, when my mother who means well but is clueless, got me… shares of stock. Turns out that last October we once had a conversation about good business models, and I said I love the store Trader Joe’s, and they also seem to be a fair and honest company. So if I ever wanted to buy stock, I might get some of theirs. I didn’t give it another thought, but she looked into it and found out TJ’s isn’t publicly traded. So she decided to get me $100 of shares in the company I work for, who I feel pretty neutral about, but I think of them as a big faceless corporation who’d crush the little guy under their heel without a second thought. So I didn’t want any stock in the first place, didn’t get stock in a company I wanted it from, and ended up with stock I could have bought myself at an employee discount. I know it’s selfish, but I couldn’t even feign gratefulness.
On the plus side, my birthday is December 27th and she made it up to me with chocolate cake and some books I really wanted.
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HerronBird @ 11/20/2005 7:54 PM EST
I’m suprised with a december 27th birthday you don’t get screwed into a "double christmas." Myself and others I know with christmas close birthdays get our celebrations bunched up with Jesus’ birthday and we all get royally screwed in the gift department compared to our siblings with birthdays that take place during months when people have money to spare.
It sounds terrible but I’ve found out it isn’t just me who got this feeling.
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dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 8:02 PM EST
The Vincent Price Thanksgiving Special 1958 on SNL was hysterical last night! I loved how "Judy Garland" screamed "GEOOOOOOOOOOORGE!" the entire time!!! Reminds me of Will Forte’s character that screams "OHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!" the entire skit. "Update" is the most consistent thing for me now. I still miss the Dennis Miller days. Actually, I miss his trademark mullet–that hair-do cracks me up–I could almost watch Update segments just to see what length his crazy hair is going to be.
My grandma has Early Stage 2 Alzheimer’s this year–she was diagnosed with dementia in May 2003 (2 days before Mother’s Day). She’s in a nursing home and go visit her often (it’s in my town). She doesn’t carry a conversation and falls asleep easily. She’s really healthy though. She shuffles when she walks, but for some apparent reason (we’re baffled by this), she starting running and fell…on her hip. No, she only bruised it. She hadn’t been the same since my grandpa died (October 2000). the first Christmas w/o him was sad, but we haven’t had any bad Christmases. I’m actually kind of sad reading these stories.
Matt, that Sharp commercial was a nice reward. Yea!!! Let’s all be happy!
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Allison @ 11/20/2005 8:04 PM EST
Oh man, I just remembered another bad Xmas memory. Many years back when we had a big family gathering at my Aunt’s House for Xmas. My grandmother made some smartass comment about me in front of the whole family to the effect of, "Maybe if you lost some weight you could get yourself a boyfriend." Seriously, I don’t think I was older than 13 at the time. But the rest of the family at least realized how fucking rude of a comment it was. Nasty bitch.
But on a lighter note, has anyone seen the new classic Hasbro game commercial with Jamie Lee Curtis? It is soooo cute!!
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Mystie @ 11/20/2005 8:33 PM EST
Yeah, it is pretty cute. At least she embraced it.
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Matt @ 11/20/2005 8:37 PM EST
MAN, THIS IS THE WORST THREAD IVE LOOKED AT. ITS REALLY DEPRESSING, I COME ON THIS SITE TO GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AND FEEL NOSTALGIC AND ITS ALL SAD STORIES. HOPEFULLY, WE’LL GET A DIFFERENT BLOG SOON.
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PDAC @ 11/20/2005 8:39 PM EST
YOU WILL LATER TONIGHT SORRY FOR MAKING YOU BLAM YOUR HEAD.
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Matt @ 11/20/2005 8:40 PM EST
Who else is watching/watched I Love The Holidays?
Right now, they’re on "Black Friday". Which is depressing in itself, cause I gotta work then this year. 4:30am-9 then 5pm-10ish.
And Jeff, thank you for the help! If you can’t send a reply to me back, say it on here and I’ll send you where to ship it. Thanx so much in advance!
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Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 8:50 PM EST
"I’m suprised with a december 27th birthday you don’t get screwed into a ‘double christmas.’"
No way, my parents would never let that happen. I always got to have a party (usually a sleepover because me and my friends were all on winter break- bonus!) and a cake, and presents. Although it has worked to my advantage, like when I needed a new computer, so I said it could be a combined Christmas and birthday present.
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HerronBird @ 11/20/2005 8:51 PM EST
It’s weird how some people consider Christmas a time to spend with family and friends and with others it’s more important to be concerned with how much stuff they can get for presents. It shows how much stores, marketing and the media has destroyed the true spirit of Christmas.
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Leotrice @ 11/20/2005 8:56 PM EST
RE: Harry Potter GoF.
I saw the movie last night, and while I was somewhat annoyed that they left out the House-Elves subplot entirely, I thought the movie did a great job at making a VERY complex novel into a three hour film. I liked this movie better than "Azkaban," even. Yes, there was a LOT cut out, but I thought the cuts were all logical. I was very pleased with how the film worked. No, it’s not the book, but as far as book to film translations go, I’d say it’s a winner.
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Cameron T. @ 11/20/2005 9:00 PM EST
Leotrice- Looks like someone needs a history lesson. check in one of the earlier threads and Lord Poop shall teach you the horrible history of chrismas. Plus who are you to judge? Christmas is presents! And don’t get me started on family. On my mom’s side they’re a buch of racist hicks and on my dad’s side they are a bunch of ex hippys.
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Darth Poop @ 11/20/2005 10:12 PM EST
Is it just me or has the Sci-Fi Channel been showing a shit ton of horror flicks?
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phunqsauce @ 11/20/2005 10:15 PM EST
No matter the history of Christmas, I enjoy the family time, the religious significance, and the getting of stuff. All in one.
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Jessica Marie @ 11/20/2005 10:37 PM EST
…on my dad’s side they are a bunch of ex hippys.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/20/2005 10:12 PM EST
I don’t know much about the history of Christmas but I do know that hippie is ends with
an "-ie" and not a "y", Lord Poop.
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The Spell Checker @ 11/20/2005 10:49 PM EST
My worst Christmas…
I was pretty little at the time and my brother and I had gotten everybody up at like 3AM because we were as excited as caffeinated hummingbirds. Well, after my grandparents left(they visit every Christmas shortly after we finish opening presents. Before this, we spend Christmas Eve with them until around midnight), me and my brother argued and faught a little and my parents forced us both to take a nap. We woke up at 10PM and had to go back to bed shortly thereafter. I was sooo mad. Course I was totally being a brat that day and deserved it, but in my childhood mindset, it was as close to losing the World Series in game 7 in overtime as one could ever get.
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Nate @ 11/20/2005 10:52 PM EST
You and me both, Jessica Marie! 
I had seriously….like 3 christmas’ in a row that I was sick as a dog for as a child. Everyone of them with a fever and a couple of them were vomit filled. Nothing is worse than your childhood Christmas’ being ruined by disease
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thejyav @ 11/20/2005 11:07 PM EST
All I am is a fertilized egg.
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Another face in the crowd @ 11/20/2005 11:36 PM EST
phunqsauce: Earlier today I had to stop and think what month it was for a moment, because I was looking at the tv listings online and 3 or 4 channels near each other were playing horror movies or haunting specials.
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mag @ 11/20/2005 11:55 PM EST
No one is online and I really need to tell someone about how badly I want a cookie puss right freaking now.
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dohopoki @ 11/21/2005 1:00 AM EST
Thanksgiving 1990: I had my tonsils three four days before turkey day. I sick as a dog, I really couldn’t eat, and to top it off it snow. I was the sadest boy in grade 2.
Christmas 91: My grandmom died suddenly on the night of 12/22. Her funeral was the day after christmas. Very hard christmas.
Christmas 97: broke my ankling during my ice hockey game on christmas eve, eve. The day after Christmas I had to get surgery to get 2 screws placed into my ankle. That messed up christmas and New Years.
Woof! Can’t wait for a new entry on the blog…these are horrible! Hey Matt- have we done the "best present ever" thread this year, or too old and tired?
Also-Kittycatgirl, your family is evil. See if you can get adopted elsewhere. Seriously, even if you’re 30, it’d SO be worth it.
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Terror Claws Cole @ 11/21/2005 9:11 AM EST
Worst Christmas story…. well a while back my parents had bought a bunch of stuff for our presents and since there is 5 kids in my family, there is a sufficient lack of hiding spots in the house. So they decided to leave a bunch of the stuff they had just gotten in the back of the Suburban my dad drove covered with a blanket. Well, those lovely gifts (which it amounted to almost all of them) sat in the back of that truck for maybe a day, because the next day at the Staten Island Mall, my mom and dad went shopping and when they came back out to the parking lot, the truck was gone. Stolen. All our presents were gone. A couple days later some thieves broke into my Oma’s house and stole all her jewelry and whatever christmas gifts she had hidden (some were stuff my parents stashed there as well). It was a double whammy. I think I felt more bad that my dad lost his truck than us losing our presents, but it still made for a crumby Christmas. They found the 2 guys who stole the truck in Michigan about 3 weeks later. They were involved in a high speed chase with the cops for a different crime and plowed into a wall, totaling the car and doing vast injury to themselves… when my dad got the call from the Michigan PD, he was rather happy.
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Double G @ 11/21/2005 9:14 AM EST
And thanks for the prize Matt! Who’s Zooming Who Indeed!
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Double G @ 11/21/2005 9:29 AM EST
Off-topic (like anyone cares), but did anyone catch Family Guy last night? With a Back to the Future and a Transformers reference, I couldn’t help but think of my fellow X-E’rs. God that show is hilarious. It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time!
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Nicole @ 11/21/2005 9:44 AM EST
my worst christmas wasn’t all that bad. i had to work christmas morning, thus fouling up my family’s holiday plans. and i had to work at the very movie theater that was the scene of the shooting a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh. it’s been years since i worked there, but that still made me sad
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bitchpants @ 11/21/2005 10:37 AM EST
This one isn’t really so much "bad" as just embarassing. While opening presents at my mom and dad’s house during Christmas a couple of years ago, I accepted by dad’s invitation to have some beers while we were enjoying the festivities. Well, my mom and dad live at nearly 10,000 feet, and alcohol hits you pretty fast. I think I only had a few beers, but they hit me hard, and I was tipsy really quickly. I spent the evening kind of loudly slurring about the gifts and weaving around the living room. I just remember the uncomfortable look on my sister’s face as I was obviously drunk in front of her little kid. I believe it was all caught on tape, as well. Ugh.
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tanta07 @ 11/21/2005 10:45 AM EST
Is it just me or does anyone else see faces in the wood paneling wallpaper on this page? it’s like im being watched……
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Double G @ 11/21/2005 11:30 AM EST
GG- yes, by pigs and aliens
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kb @ 11/21/2005 11:35 AM EST
kb- whew, glad im not the only one. im still scared.
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Double G @ 11/21/2005 11:42 AM EST
That was a corny ass tv spot! Thanks!
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Eddie @ 11/21/2005 11:46 AM EST
All my holidays have been great except one. Christmas of 1999 my brother got really drunk in front of the family and went into a depressed rage on Christmas Eve. He had a gun in his car and took it out into the woods in the dark and didn’t come back for 30 minutes. We found out about the gun when we went to disable his car (so he wouldn’t try to drive it while drunk and angry) and we saw the empty case. We were all listening for a shot and that half hour seemed to last forever. Instead he came back in the house still raging, now because he tried to drive off but his car wouldn’t start. We didn’t know where the gun was and he threatened to kill us all. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Then he stormed off into the very cold night. I guess he walked like 8 miles to his apartment. No one in the family spoke to him for over 5 years. This year he’s back.
Those of you who have stories about being excluded from gifts as a kid, I am sad for you. Adults can be so careless or petty sometimes and don’t think about the impact they have or they don’t care. At that point it’s not about what the gift is, but just wanting to not be ignored or forgotten. For those whose worst experience is not getting a particular gift, get over it, and count yourself lucky that that is the worst you’ve had.
Kudos to Matt for keeping it real on the blog. The holidays are great, but they are not without there bitterness, too.
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Jimbalya @ 11/21/2005 11:52 AM EST
Hokay, in this sea of depression I have found an island of happy:
–The Fraggle Rock theme–
Go ahead and click here to take a listen. In different languages, even. I defy anyone to not laugh whilst hearing it in Norwegian.
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Rhino @ 11/21/2005 11:57 AM EST
I’m glad there was no Winky! Glad you hear me! BWAHAHA!
Anyway.
I just wanted to say that working in the Day Care I heard the best idea ever for children born around Christmas. Instead the parents celebrate the child’s ‘Half’ birthday, so the kid gets presents a good six months later.
I thought it was cool.
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Knitter @ 11/21/2005 12:02 PM EST
The worst? The exact opposite of MAZINGA. The year we came to Oklahoma for one Christmas, when I was eight. There was a big family gathering at the ancestral homestead. I never did like being in a crowd in general, and relatives in specific. What happened did nothing to help. I got a big present from one aunt who never did like anyone, and us four kids from California were very low on her list. So I open it and guess what? It was a pack of toilet paper! See a previous year’s "Worst Gift" thread for more details.
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kingklash @ 11/21/2005 12:02 PM EST
This is the first blog I’ve felt compelled to comment on.
My worst Christmas was probably the one where I hoped and prayed that my Great-grandfather would give us money for Christmas so our house didn’t get forclosed and our utilities all turned off. That was like 5th grade. I think that was the same Christmas that Santa brought me a flannel nightgown (and nothing else).
My family is way dysfuntional, but I can’t think of any Christmas-specific fights that were too terrible. Mostly it was just being poverty-stricken.
Except there was my freshman year of college when my sister got her wisdom teeth out and my other sister smacked her right it the side of her face. That was bad.
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Amanda @ 11/21/2005 12:07 PM EST
I can’t believe so many grandparents died on/near the holidays. My grandmother died a few days after Christmas in ‘96 and the funeral was New Years Eve. Actually, though, the year before was sadder because my grandmother was weak from the cancer and I had a cold, so I couldn’t hug her or anything because if I made her sick it could have killed her. She had to sit around with a mask on the whole time. I felt pretty crappy. But, to help lighten things up a little, I feel I should add some silver linings to these stories…
I loved my grandmother, but she was a very uptight woman. After the funeral, we spent New Years Eve with my grandfather so he wouldn’t be alone. While we were there, we looked at all these old pictures that I’d never gotten to see before (my grandmother didn’t want us to touch them - my parents included - because she was convinced we’d mess them up.) I got to see their wedding picture and baby pictures of my dad. It was the most real moment I’ve ever spent with my grandfather and, even though it’s rather bittersweet, I cherish the memory.
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Lori @ 11/21/2005 12:52 PM EST
Oh yeah, I forgot one. Last New Years I threw up. A lot. Some strange and ruthless stomach virus.
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Nate @ 11/21/2005 12:57 PM EST
bitchpants - you worked at Loews? I’ve never had a good experience there - the picture is always blurry, or the sound sucks. When we saw A Mighty Wind, the top 1/8 of the screen was cut off, and we complained as soon as it started, they did nothing and wouldn’t refund our money. I’m sure you have nothing to do with it, but man! I hate that place.
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Jessica Marie @ 11/21/2005 12:57 PM EST
THIS IS WAY OFF TOPIC, BUT. . I just found a stray kitten, (not Cat) and I want to take it home with me. However, I would like to make sure it does not have worms first. Does anyone know if there’s some sorta pill that you can get at the grocery for that stuff? Thank you!
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kb @ 11/21/2005 12:58 PM EST
Worst Christmas ever?
I guess it’s a toss up between two for me. I’ll keep the descriptions short, since this thread is getting me down, too. (But brilliant of Matt to think of it! Great to get this crap off our chests early on, eh?)
1993 — My first year away at school, and my mom and the (now former) step-bastard decided to go to California to see his kid. They waited ’til I had already made plans to come home before they told me. I literally had No Where to go. Christmas Day, my sister invited me to come see her (six hours away — the longest drive I’d ever made) and her new husband, though it was clear to me that they didn’t really want me to impinge on their first holiday together. And I slept on a mouldy-green, ancient loveseat. Ack.
2002 — My mother insisted that I drive home through 10 inches of snow to see her and the step-bastard. Normally it’s a 5.5 hour trip. This time, it took me 12. Mom pitched a fit when I got there because I decided to stay in town with my sister (a mere 2 miles away) rather than try to get up the steep hill to the country place Mom and s-b had. After dinner on Christmas day, I went back to Sis’s and came down with a horrid case of flu/food poisoning. The vomiting only responded to suppositories. In the midst of puking and shoving medication up my bum, Mom called to bitch me out for not staying with them.
There. Someone had to link Christmas and suppositories. I’m glad it could be me.
kb — you really want to take it to the vet, especially if you have other cats. Feline leukemia is too risky. And if s/he has worms, that can be cleared up.
Happy to hear you’re adopting! Best time for it, too. Little buggers sometimes can’t make it through the winter….
kb, take it to the local SPCA. The same thing happened to me and they checked the kitty over for free and now he’s mine
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Jillybeann @ 11/21/2005 1:11 PM EST
I’ve had a couple of Christmases where I didn’t get what I want, but man, nothing compared to what some of you have gone through! Just makes me grateful for what I *have* had, reading some of these stories. But I mean that in a good way — thanks for sharing and I wanna give everybody a big hug! :-)
My own "worst" Christmases, which again have not been really at all bad, have been in the last several years since my Mom passed away. For lotsa complex reasons, my family (dad, brothe
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