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11/19/2005: The Saturday Night Thread.

Wow, that’s some kickass string of replies you guys put together for the last survey. We usually don’t see that kind of holiday jubilation until like, the second week of December. I think you deserve a prize.

This is, of course, the All Day Saturday Thread, which is a lot like the Saturday Night Thread, only posted earlier. Same rules apply. NO fishing.

Survey: Okay, we’ve heard some of your great holiday traditions in the last thread, and Jesus Christ did they ever fill me with vicarious joy. Now, let’s hear the opposite. Let’s hear your sucky holiday stories.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 242 comments

When I was a kid I had a december like in "A Christmas Story". I wanted that BB gun so bad. But my mom said no becuase "Id kill something or hurt myself" I begged for about a month for it, and on christmas day I didnt get it.
But the next week I payed the clerk an extra $20 to let me buy it even though I was under 18. So I ended up getting it anyway. But Christmas still sucked.

Another sucky christmas was the one where all that year since november it was snowing everyday. And then when christmas came, from the 23-26 a big warm front hit the state and it went up to 70 degrees, melting all ths now just long enough for christmas.

Ghosted by Chris @ 11/20/2005 6:37 PM EST

Yeah, I’m bummed Rome is ending tonight too. At least Deadwood will be coming back in a few months, and maybe they’ll finally get around to releasing Oz season 6 in the new year… I love you HBO, don’t ever leave me.

To tie Rome to Christmas, (shut up, I can do it) Kevin McKidd was great as one of the guest stars in the Father Ted episode "A Christmassy Ted". A bunch of priests get into a tricky situation, and he plays the fresh-faced young priest who snaps under the pressure.

And a bad Christmas memory (it doesn’t compare with any kind of real tragedy, of course) I have is from last year, when my mother who means well but is clueless, got me… shares of stock. Turns out that last October we once had a conversation about good business models, and I said I love the store Trader Joe’s, and they also seem to be a fair and honest company. So if I ever wanted to buy stock, I might get some of theirs. I didn’t give it another thought, but she looked into it and found out TJ’s isn’t publicly traded. So she decided to get me $100 of shares in the company I work for, who I feel pretty neutral about, but I think of them as a big faceless corporation who’d crush the little guy under their heel without a second thought. So I didn’t want any stock in the first place, didn’t get stock in a company I wanted it from, and ended up with stock I could have bought myself at an employee discount. I know it’s selfish, but I couldn’t even feign gratefulness.

On the plus side, my birthday is December 27th and she made it up to me with chocolate cake and some books I really wanted.

Ghosted by HerronBird @ 11/20/2005 7:54 PM EST

I’m suprised with a december 27th birthday you don’t get screwed into a "double christmas." Myself and others I know with christmas close birthdays get our celebrations bunched up with Jesus’ birthday and we all get royally screwed in the gift department compared to our siblings with birthdays that take place during months when people have money to spare.

It sounds terrible but I’ve found out it isn’t just me who got this feeling.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 8:02 PM EST

The Vincent Price Thanksgiving Special 1958 on SNL was hysterical last night! I loved how "Judy Garland" screamed "GEOOOOOOOOOOORGE!" the entire time!!! Reminds me of Will Forte’s character that screams "OHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!" the entire skit. "Update" is the most consistent thing for me now. I still miss the Dennis Miller days. Actually, I miss his trademark mullet–that hair-do cracks me up–I could almost watch Update segments just to see what length his crazy hair is going to be.

My grandma has Early Stage 2 Alzheimer’s this year–she was diagnosed with dementia in May 2003 (2 days before Mother’s Day). She’s in a nursing home and go visit her often (it’s in my town). She doesn’t carry a conversation and falls asleep easily. She’s really healthy though. She shuffles when she walks, but for some apparent reason (we’re baffled by this), she starting running and fell…on her hip. No, she only bruised it. She hadn’t been the same since my grandpa died (October 2000). the first Christmas w/o him was sad, but we haven’t had any bad Christmases. I’m actually kind of sad reading these stories.

Matt, that Sharp commercial was a nice reward. Yea!!! Let’s all be happy!

Ghosted by Allison @ 11/20/2005 8:04 PM EST

Oh man, I just remembered another bad Xmas memory. Many years back when we had a big family gathering at my Aunt’s House for Xmas. My grandmother made some smartass comment about me in front of the whole family to the effect of, "Maybe if you lost some weight you could get yourself a boyfriend." Seriously, I don’t think I was older than 13 at the time. But the rest of the family at least realized how fucking rude of a comment it was. Nasty bitch.

But on a lighter note, has anyone seen the new classic Hasbro game commercial with Jamie Lee Curtis? It is soooo cute!!

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/20/2005 8:33 PM EST

Yeah, it is pretty cute. At least she embraced it. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/20/2005 8:37 PM EST

MAN, THIS IS THE WORST THREAD IVE LOOKED AT. ITS REALLY DEPRESSING, I COME ON THIS SITE TO GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AND FEEL NOSTALGIC AND ITS ALL SAD STORIES. HOPEFULLY, WE’LL GET A DIFFERENT BLOG SOON.

Ghosted by PDAC @ 11/20/2005 8:39 PM EST

YOU WILL LATER TONIGHT SORRY FOR MAKING YOU BLAM YOUR HEAD.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/20/2005 8:40 PM EST

Who else is watching/watched I Love The Holidays?

Right now, they’re on "Black Friday". Which is depressing in itself, cause I gotta work then this year. 4:30am-9 then 5pm-10ish.

And Jeff, thank you for the help! If you can’t send a reply to me back, say it on here and I’ll send you where to ship it. Thanx so much in advance!

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 8:50 PM EST

"I’m suprised with a december 27th birthday you don’t get screwed into a ‘double christmas.’"

No way, my parents would never let that happen. I always got to have a party (usually a sleepover because me and my friends were all on winter break- bonus!) and a cake, and presents. Although it has worked to my advantage, like when I needed a new computer, so I said it could be a combined Christmas and birthday present.

Ghosted by HerronBird @ 11/20/2005 8:51 PM EST

It’s weird how some people consider Christmas a time to spend with family and friends and with others it’s more important to be concerned with how much stuff they can get for presents. It shows how much stores, marketing and the media has destroyed the true spirit of Christmas.

Ghosted by Leotrice @ 11/20/2005 8:56 PM EST

RE: Harry Potter GoF.

I saw the movie last night, and while I was somewhat annoyed that they left out the House-Elves subplot entirely, I thought the movie did a great job at making a VERY complex novel into a three hour film. I liked this movie better than "Azkaban," even. Yes, there was a LOT cut out, but I thought the cuts were all logical. I was very pleased with how the film worked. No, it’s not the book, but as far as book to film translations go, I’d say it’s a winner.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/20/2005 9:00 PM EST

Leotrice- Looks like someone needs a history lesson. check in one of the earlier threads and Lord Poop shall teach you the horrible history of chrismas. Plus who are you to judge? Christmas is presents! And don’t get me started on family. On my mom’s side they’re a buch of racist hicks and on my dad’s side they are a bunch of ex hippys.

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 11/20/2005 10:12 PM EST

Is it just me or has the Sci-Fi Channel been showing a shit ton of horror flicks?

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/20/2005 10:15 PM EST

No matter the history of Christmas, I enjoy the family time, the religious significance, and the getting of stuff. All in one.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/20/2005 10:37 PM EST

…on my dad’s side they are a bunch of ex hippys.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/20/2005 10:12 PM EST

I don’t know much about the history of Christmas but I do know that hippie is ends with
an "-ie" and not a "y", Lord Poop.

Ghosted by The Spell Checker @ 11/20/2005 10:49 PM EST

My worst Christmas…

I was pretty little at the time and my brother and I had gotten everybody up at like 3AM because we were as excited as caffeinated hummingbirds. Well, after my grandparents left(they visit every Christmas shortly after we finish opening presents. Before this, we spend Christmas Eve with them until around midnight), me and my brother argued and faught a little and my parents forced us both to take a nap. We woke up at 10PM and had to go back to bed shortly thereafter. I was sooo mad. Course I was totally being a brat that day and deserved it, but in my childhood mindset, it was as close to losing the World Series in game 7 in overtime as one could ever get.

Ghosted by Nate @ 11/20/2005 10:52 PM EST

You and me both, Jessica Marie! :D

Ghosted by LemonWitch @ 11/20/2005 11:06 PM EST

I had seriously….like 3 christmas’ in a row that I was sick as a dog for as a child. Everyone of them with a fever and a couple of them were vomit filled. Nothing is worse than your childhood Christmas’ being ruined by disease

Ghosted by thejyav @ 11/20/2005 11:07 PM EST

All I am is a fertilized egg.

Ghosted by Another face in the crowd @ 11/20/2005 11:36 PM EST

phunqsauce: Earlier today I had to stop and think what month it was for a moment, because I was looking at the tv listings online and 3 or 4 channels near each other were playing horror movies or haunting specials.

Ghosted by mag @ 11/20/2005 11:55 PM EST

I’m glad there was no Winky! Glad you hear me! BWAHAHA!

Anyway.

I just wanted to say that working in the Day Care I heard the best idea ever for children born around Christmas. Instead the parents celebrate the child’s ‘Half’ birthday, so the kid gets presents a good six months later.

I thought it was cool.

Ghosted by Knitter @ 11/21/2005 12:02 PM EST

No one is online and I really need to tell someone about how badly I want a cookie puss right freaking now.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/21/2005 1:00 AM EST

Woof! Can’t wait for a new entry on the blog…these are horrible! Hey Matt- have we done the "best present ever" thread this year, or too old and tired?

Also-Kittycatgirl, your family is evil. See if you can get adopted elsewhere. Seriously, even if you’re 30, it’d SO be worth it.

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 11/21/2005 9:11 AM EST

Worst Christmas story…. well a while back my parents had bought a bunch of stuff for our presents and since there is 5 kids in my family, there is a sufficient lack of hiding spots in the house. So they decided to leave a bunch of the stuff they had just gotten in the back of the Suburban my dad drove covered with a blanket. Well, those lovely gifts (which it amounted to almost all of them) sat in the back of that truck for maybe a day, because the next day at the Staten Island Mall, my mom and dad went shopping and when they came back out to the parking lot, the truck was gone. Stolen. All our presents were gone. A couple days later some thieves broke into my Oma’s house and stole all her jewelry and whatever christmas gifts she had hidden (some were stuff my parents stashed there as well). It was a double whammy. I think I felt more bad that my dad lost his truck than us losing our presents, but it still made for a crumby Christmas. They found the 2 guys who stole the truck in Michigan about 3 weeks later. They were involved in a high speed chase with the cops for a different crime and plowed into a wall, totaling the car and doing vast injury to themselves… when my dad got the call from the Michigan PD, he was rather happy. :P

Ghosted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 9:14 AM EST

And thanks for the prize Matt! Who’s Zooming Who Indeed!

Ghosted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 9:29 AM EST

Off-topic (like anyone cares), but did anyone catch Family Guy last night? With a Back to the Future and a Transformers reference, I couldn’t help but think of my fellow X-E’rs. God that show is hilarious. It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/21/2005 9:44 AM EST

my worst christmas wasn’t all that bad. i had to work christmas morning, thus fouling up my family’s holiday plans. and i had to work at the very movie theater that was the scene of the shooting a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh. it’s been years since i worked there, but that still made me sad

Ghosted by bitchpants @ 11/21/2005 10:37 AM EST

This one isn’t really so much "bad" as just embarassing. While opening presents at my mom and dad’s house during Christmas a couple of years ago, I accepted by dad’s invitation to have some beers while we were enjoying the festivities. Well, my mom and dad live at nearly 10,000 feet, and alcohol hits you pretty fast. I think I only had a few beers, but they hit me hard, and I was tipsy really quickly. I spent the evening kind of loudly slurring about the gifts and weaving around the living room. I just remember the uncomfortable look on my sister’s face as I was obviously drunk in front of her little kid. I believe it was all caught on tape, as well. Ugh.

Ghosted by tanta07 @ 11/21/2005 10:45 AM EST

Is it just me or does anyone else see faces in the wood paneling wallpaper on this page? it’s like im being watched……

Ghosted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 11:30 AM EST

GG- yes, by pigs and aliens

Ghosted by kb @ 11/21/2005 11:35 AM EST

kb- whew, glad im not the only one. im still scared.

Ghosted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 11:42 AM EST

That was a corny ass tv spot! Thanks!

Ghosted by Eddie @ 11/21/2005 11:46 AM EST

All my holidays have been great except one. Christmas of 1999 my brother got really drunk in front of the family and went into a depressed rage on Christmas Eve. He had a gun in his car and took it out into the woods in the dark and didn’t come back for 30 minutes. We found out about the gun when we went to disable his car (so he wouldn’t try to drive it while drunk and angry) and we saw the empty case. We were all listening for a shot and that half hour seemed to last forever. Instead he came back in the house still raging, now because he tried to drive off but his car wouldn’t start. We didn’t know where the gun was and he threatened to kill us all. I’ve never been so scared in my life. Then he stormed off into the very cold night. I guess he walked like 8 miles to his apartment. No one in the family spoke to him for over 5 years. This year he’s back.

Those of you who have stories about being excluded from gifts as a kid, I am sad for you. Adults can be so careless or petty sometimes and don’t think about the impact they have or they don’t care. At that point it’s not about what the gift is, but just wanting to not be ignored or forgotten. For those whose worst experience is not getting a particular gift, get over it, and count yourself lucky that that is the worst you’ve had.

Kudos to Matt for keeping it real on the blog. The holidays are great, but they are not without there bitterness, too.

Ghosted by Jimbalya @ 11/21/2005 11:52 AM EST

Hokay, in this sea of depression I have found an island of happy:
–The Fraggle Rock theme–
Go ahead and click here to take a listen. In different languages, even. I defy anyone to not laugh whilst hearing it in Norwegian.

Ghosted by Rhino @ 11/21/2005 11:57 AM EST

The worst? The exact opposite of MAZINGA. The year we came to Oklahoma for one Christmas, when I was eight. There was a big family gathering at the ancestral homestead. I never did like being in a crowd in general, and relatives in specific. What happened did nothing to help. I got a big present from one aunt who never did like anyone, and us four kids from California were very low on her list. So I open it and guess what? It was a pack of toilet paper! See a previous year’s "Worst Gift" thread for more details.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/21/2005 12:02 PM EST

This is the first blog I’ve felt compelled to comment on.

My worst Christmas was probably the one where I hoped and prayed that my Great-grandfather would give us money for Christmas so our house didn’t get forclosed and our utilities all turned off. That was like 5th grade. I think that was the same Christmas that Santa brought me a flannel nightgown (and nothing else).

My family is way dysfuntional, but I can’t think of any Christmas-specific fights that were too terrible. Mostly it was just being poverty-stricken.

Except there was my freshman year of college when my sister got her wisdom teeth out and my other sister smacked her right it the side of her face. That was bad.

Ghosted by Amanda @ 11/21/2005 12:07 PM EST

I can’t believe so many grandparents died on/near the holidays. My grandmother died a few days after Christmas in ‘96 and the funeral was New Years Eve. Actually, though, the year before was sadder because my grandmother was weak from the cancer and I had a cold, so I couldn’t hug her or anything because if I made her sick it could have killed her. She had to sit around with a mask on the whole time. I felt pretty crappy. But, to help lighten things up a little, I feel I should add some silver linings to these stories…

I loved my grandmother, but she was a very uptight woman. After the funeral, we spent New Years Eve with my grandfather so he wouldn’t be alone. While we were there, we looked at all these old pictures that I’d never gotten to see before (my grandmother didn’t want us to touch them – my parents included – because she was convinced we’d mess them up.) I got to see their wedding picture and baby pictures of my dad. It was the most real moment I’ve ever spent with my grandfather and, even though it’s rather bittersweet, I cherish the memory.

Ghosted by Lori @ 11/21/2005 12:52 PM EST

Oh yeah, I forgot one. Last New Years I threw up. A lot. Some strange and ruthless stomach virus.

Ghosted by Nate @ 11/21/2005 12:57 PM EST

bitchpants – you worked at Loews? I’ve never had a good experience there – the picture is always blurry, or the sound sucks. When we saw A Mighty Wind, the top 1/8 of the screen was cut off, and we complained as soon as it started, they did nothing and wouldn’t refund our money. I’m sure you have nothing to do with it, but man! I hate that place.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/21/2005 12:57 PM EST

THIS IS WAY OFF TOPIC, BUT. . I just found a stray kitten, (not Cat) and I want to take it home with me. However, I would like to make sure it does not have worms first. Does anyone know if there’s some sorta pill that you can get at the grocery for that stuff? Thank you!

Ghosted by kb @ 11/21/2005 12:58 PM EST

Worst Christmas ever?

I guess it’s a toss up between two for me. I’ll keep the descriptions short, since this thread is getting me down, too. (But brilliant of Matt to think of it! Great to get this crap off our chests early on, eh?)

1993 — My first year away at school, and my mom and the (now former) step-bastard decided to go to California to see his kid. They waited ’til I had already made plans to come home before they told me. I literally had No Where to go. Christmas Day, my sister invited me to come see her (six hours away — the longest drive I’d ever made) and her new husband, though it was clear to me that they didn’t really want me to impinge on their first holiday together. And I slept on a mouldy-green, ancient loveseat. Ack.

2002 — My mother insisted that I drive home through 10 inches of snow to see her and the step-bastard. Normally it’s a 5.5 hour trip. This time, it took me 12. Mom pitched a fit when I got there because I decided to stay in town with my sister (a mere 2 miles away) rather than try to get up the steep hill to the country place Mom and s-b had. After dinner on Christmas day, I went back to Sis’s and came down with a horrid case of flu/food poisoning. The vomiting only responded to suppositories. In the midst of puking and shoving medication up my bum, Mom called to bitch me out for not staying with them.

There. Someone had to link Christmas and suppositories. I’m glad it could be me.

Ghosted by Lisa Marie @ 11/21/2005 1:04 PM EST

kb — you really want to take it to the vet, especially if you have other cats. Feline leukemia is too risky. And if s/he has worms, that can be cleared up.

Happy to hear you’re adopting! Best time for it, too. Little buggers sometimes can’t make it through the winter….

Ghosted by Lisa Marie @ 11/21/2005 1:10 PM EST

kb, take it to the local SPCA. The same thing happened to me and they checked the kitty over for free and now he’s mine :)

Ghosted by Jillybeann @ 11/21/2005 1:11 PM EST

I’ve had a couple of Christmases where I didn’t get what I want, but man, nothing compared to what some of you have gone through! Just makes me grateful for what I *have* had, reading some of these stories. But I mean that in a good way — thanks for sharing and I wanna give everybody a big hug! :-)

My own "worst" Christmases, which again have not been really at all bad, have been in the last several years since my Mom passed away. For lotsa complex reasons, my family (dad, brother, sister, me) fragmented quite a bit after that; my sister and father no longer talk to each other, and my brother has moved far away due to his own family and job. We used to *always* get together somehow around Christmas, and now we don’t. So it’s a bittersweet feeling now at Christmas time, I had such great Christmases for so many years that I just get kinda sad at this time of year, for all the things that are gone now. We (my wife and I) spend Christmas now with her family and they’re great but you know it’s not the same, plus they do something totally alien to me — they open their presents on Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day!!!

Nothing against those who open gifts early, but it just feels so … wrong to me! ;-) Besides, then I have nothing to look forward to on Christmas morning and I know I’m being petty, but it bums me out a bit.

But I try not to let these get me too down! I really appreciate what I *do* have, And, oddly, reading your sad stories makes me feel closer to you guys and I know I’m not alone (you”ve all had it worse!), and I’m looking forward to the XE Christmas Countdown and reading more from everybody. Thanks! :-)

Ghosted by Ozymango @ 11/21/2005 2:24 PM EST

This thread really does help you appreciate things more. Really good topic Matt.

Ghosted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 2:33 PM EST

quick off-thread about Family Guy:
Mr. Herbert singing "Someplace That’s Green" from Little Shop was both creepy and depressing. Even his dog seems to be a perv.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/21/2005 2:42 PM EST

My Christmases all rule, I also buy my own gifts for redistribution to me so there are no fowl ups, like the one my mom just pulled by buying me the wrong game as I’ve been told by my brother yesterday. OK though, I already have the correct game which I will switch Christmas morning. My wife thinks I’m spoiled.

My wife on the other hand had some bad Christmases. When she was little her family made ALOT of money and they always got rockin’ amounts of gifts then her Mom lost the good job and her Dad wasn’t working at the time. She was too young to know this all she knew was that when she woke up for Christmas morning expecting her usual big haul there was nothing…but….a…muffin tin wrapped up. They were that way up until she met me and now I make up for it by buying her bitchin’ gifts including toys from the 80’s she never got but wanted like Rainbow Brights dolls, and Carebears, and my little pony’s etc.

Ghosted by Funky Boo Berry the Ghost of 70's Christmas @ 11/21/2005 2:42 PM EST

Weeeelll, mine’s ridiculous compared to everyone else’s. One year I worked at Braums in High School, and I had to work half of Christmas Eve. Annoyed beyond belief that people would actually come in this day (the day my family opens presents), I finally get off work and have to WALK home in the freezing cold (no car). Then, I go home alone, take a bath (because grease don’t just shower off when you work at a burger joint), change into my normal clothes, and go exhausted to my Grandma’s house. I was really, really tired that year, but drank enough pop to keep awake. Basically mildly annoying really. Well, or as we say in Oklahoma, Whelp, guess that’s it.

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 11/21/2005 3:16 PM EST

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