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11/19/2005: The Saturday Night Thread.

Wow, that’s some kickass string of replies you guys put together for the last survey. We usually don’t see that kind of holiday jubilation until like, the second week of December. I think you deserve a prize.

This is, of course, the All Day Saturday Thread, which is a lot like the Saturday Night Thread, only posted earlier. Same rules apply. NO fishing.

Survey: Okay, we’ve heard some of your great holiday traditions in the last thread, and Jesus Christ did they ever fill me with vicarious joy. Now, let’s hear the opposite. Let’s hear your sucky holiday stories.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 242 comments

1 2 3 ... 5 Next »

First post? I’ve been following for a while, but this deserves a post.

My worst holiday story is probably based around Thanksgiving, when both of my parents were working night shift at their job, and the holiday was ostensibly cancelled — I ate veggie burgers at home, and I’m not even a vegetarian.

As far as Christmas goes…the worst stories were the early years of my parents divorce, when my Christmas loot had two homes. Sucks when you can’t get at that new Sega game because it’s a good 45 minutes away from your little hands.

Ghosted by Trev @ 11/19/2005 7:55 PM EST

One year I had some bad turkey salad…. Uggh. Twas’ a vomit filled Christmas eve indeed.

Two Year, My mom had to work on Christmas morning until like 4pm. We had to wait for her to open presents… It didn’t happen until about 6!! I felt like I was coated with flesh-eating ants the entire day.

Three Year, my sister went into the Marines, so there was a member missing… But I pulled out my My Pet Monster, and posted a sign on him with her name on it. Needless to say nobody could tell the difference, and I sent her the pictures.

Ghosted by Mattman @ 11/19/2005 7:57 PM EST

Wow, that prize was…sharp.
These 3 quick stories will probably pale to many others that will be posted but here we go:
1. 1993-Sick as a dog. Threw up on my mattress on Christmas Eve and was generally miserable on Christmas.
2 1994-Socks and 2 copies of the STAR WARS TRILOGY on VHS (apparently my parents and my brother did not coordinate what they were getting me). Not a bad thing but that’s about all I got that year for whatever reason. I still have them. One is the Deluxe trilogy VHS and the other is the THX remastered
3. Not bad just kinda stupid: My parents got me a WALKMAN (’93) but then bought me a RUSH cassette tape instead of the CD.

Muppet Baby, none of my students were upset about Eddie’s passing but one of my co-worker’s students were so go figure.

Squee,, I haven’t see the the GOF yet. Any good (sans spoilers of course)?

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/19/2005 8:16 PM EST

My worst Christmas experience…decided to start a tradition of drinking every christmas eve. But my first one ended up with me thinking I could stay up all night drinking. When I realized it was 6am and my sister was knocking on my door I knew I couldn’t fake my way out of it so I opened the door with a can of beer and yelled merry christmas. They didn’t talk to me all day.

Ghosted by Sempai @ 11/19/2005 8:17 PM EST

Well, since there’s a new survey this observation will probably get lost in the chaos, but I was watching some movie on Starz tonight. And who was there doing the stupid Starz-is-awesome intro? That’s right – Mike Nelson from MST3K fame! How low he’s descended….

Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/19/2005 8:20 PM EST

My worst holiday experience would have to be the Christmas of ï¿½93. My parents were in the middle of their divorce and things didnï¿½t seem festive enough as it was around the house, and to add to the whole anti-Christmas vibe that year my grandfather went in to a coma 4 days before the big day, never to regain consciousness. That one event completely killed Christmas, as his funeral was the day after Christmas.

Ghosted by encinaman @ 11/19/2005 8:23 PM EST

Goodbye ghost, hello red star. So… would Superman be powerless in this blog?

Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/19/2005 8:24 PM EST

Gozer,
Funny you should mention that; my NETFLIX pick of the day was MSTK’s MITCHELL which of course was bye bye Joel, hello Mike. Interesting…

Long overdue pic of E.Claire’s 1st Halloween for those who are interested. Click the name.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/19/2005 8:27 PM EST

Worst Christmas was when I was married to Butthead. He hated Christmas and everything that was fun. But also, my parents were in the middle of moving when my mom had emergency surgury. My dad couldn’t miss any work and mom had to stay where she was for a few weeks. My mom said on Christmas she went to Taco Bell for supper. It’s not Christmas if your not dressed up, with family, and eating prime rib.

Ghosted by kb @ 11/19/2005 8:38 PM EST

I broke my toe on Christmas Eve one year. It was really stupid, too. My grandmother sent us a Kareoke machine, which we opened Christmas Eve morning. My sister and I were in the middle of an impromptu kickline to the Frank Sinatra version of "(Theme from) New York, New York" when I kicked her foot really hard. I spent the rest of the day with ice on my toe, went to the hospital the next day after we opened presents, and was on crutches for the rest of Christmas Vacation, one of the least fun I’ve ever had.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 11/19/2005 8:38 PM EST

That camcorder in the commercial is the same one that I have, it still works great as well, I just need to get a battery pack for it.

Ghosted by Rambozo @ 11/19/2005 8:38 PM EST

I think it was the year it rained and was like 60 degrees on Christmas Day. Now I know it doesn’t snow for everyone but living in the snow belt in northeast ohio you EXPECT some fucking snow on Christmas!!!!!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 8:45 PM EST

The only bad X-mas I can think of was the first year my Grandmother couldn’t throw her annual X-mas party because of Alzheimers.

As for other holidays, my house burned down one Thanksgiving.That pretty much put us in "exile" for 5 years.

And there was the Halloween when my Dad caught my Mom and I talking about what a jerk he is and for two days he wanted to divorce my Mom and leave home (he didn’t divorce her or leave, he got over it, he’s still an asshole).

And, there was the time my Uncle died between X-mas and New Years.

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/19/2005 9:04 PM EST

This wasn’t really bad for me, but it was for my brother, who was sleeping at the foot of my bed.

I was pretty young, and woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, right around the time when I suspected Santa would be bringing my presents. I REALLY had to pee, but I didn’t want to run across the hall to the bathroom, because if Santa saw me, he would take away all my presents, because would think I was trying to peek. So I decided to "hold it"… Well, that idea didn’t work really effectively, so I (and my brother) woke up with a rather moist surprise. But at least Santa left me presents, and that’s all that mattered.

Also, one year I drew some pictures of Santa and Mrs. Claus on cardboard, colored them, cut them out, and left them with the cookies for Santa. But in the morning, he had taken the cookies but not the pictures!! I was SO SAD, and I cried because now I would not be able to give it to him until next year! I think we still have those drawings in the box with the Christmas ornaments

Ghosted by LuLu @ 11/19/2005 9:17 PM EST

For the most part my holidays have been comparatively stress-free. There was the usual low-level crap with my control-obsessed father deciding he needed to scream at me or my brother Christmas Day because we were doing something that set off his Crazy-o-Meter, but that was fairly easy to shrug off.

The worst to date is tied between three Christmases, two one right after the other. My father, who is difficult to be around for a variety of reasons, stormed out two years in a row on Christmas Eve and was gone even after we went to bed. The first time because he and Mom were fighting over something, the second had something to do with my much older brother and sister (who had hated him from day one) apparently admitting to his face that they disliked him. He threatened to move out. What was really weird about that was that the whole time, and bear in mind, I was only about eight when this happened, I had this insane urge to laugh. I went through a weird phase as a child where upseting things gave me the giggles.

The most recent to date was one year I went to my sister’s house for Christmas. The whole vacation was great, but Christmas Eve night, after I’d gone to bed in the upstairs apartment built onto the house, I proceeded to freeze my butt off. I was cuddled under a sleeping bag, and was so cold that I pulled all of my clothes out of my luggage and stuffed them into my sleeping bag for insulation. Why I didn’t just go downstairs I have no idea, but oh well. The next morning it turns out that my sister accidentally turned off the heat to the upstairs. It’s pretty funny now.

Ghosted by LemonWitch @ 11/19/2005 9:38 PM EST

My brother once got drunk on christmas eve.
Really drunk.

So drunk, he tried to walk home. Unfortunately he never made it to our home. He made it about 100 yards down the road and went to the first house and tried to break in, thinking it was our home.

We drove around looking for him, and me and my brother saw numerous cop cars drive by us. We made the hilarious assumption that he was getting arrested, but we didnt take it seriously.

He got picked up by the cops and peed himself in the back of the cruiser. They felt bad for him, and dropped him off at our house.

Whata sweet night.

Ghosted by Benji @ 11/19/2005 9:49 PM EST

Here’s what happened to me on Christmas ‘99. About 2 days before Christmas I recieved a letter from the DMV revoking my drivers license. Because of this I lost one of the best jobs I ever had. Think that’s bad? Get this: The next day on Christmas eve, My girlfriend of 3 years left me, took all of her belongings and moved out. I definately had no Christmas spirit that year. I ended up spending christmas eve at my friend’s house with a case of Sam Adam’s and stayed up untill 4 am watching a Christmas Story over and over on TBS and getting sh$tfaced. Without a doubt, that was the worst Christmas I ever experienced. It’s funny looking and the family photos from that year. Everyone is smiling gleefully while I looked absolutely miserable.

Ghosted by D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 9:53 PM EST

Manimal, I thought Harry Potter wasn’t half bad. The new additions to the cast were pretty good, particularly Rita Skeeter. I cannot, however, allow the scandalous excisement of Winky to go unnoted. For shame! Overall I thought it was darn good, though I have the same "waaah not like the book" nitty picks as the last movie left me.
We’ve got a sucky tradition of flaky relatives, and the related sucky tradition of getting stuck with a big gathering’s worth of food to justify. That just means more pie for us, so it ain’t so bad.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 11/19/2005 9:56 PM EST

Has anyone else seen the REALLY COOL inflatable Charlie Brown/Snoopy snowglobe decoration that blows snow like a snowglobe? It’s awesome though I don’t know where I would put it if I got one.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 11/19/2005 10:19 PM EST

My grandmother passed away on Halloween about 12 years ago.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 11/19/2005 10:21 PM EST

I think I have a tie for my worst Holiday.

About 7 years ago my Grandmother had a heart attack two days before Christmas. Thankfully she lived and we ended up celebrating a lovely Christmas in February.

Then two years ago, a week before christmas m stepfather fell asleep while smoking a cigarette. Needless to say it wasn’t a happy holiday.

Ghosted by Mike @ 11/19/2005 10:33 PM EST

Hmmm worst holiday moments.
Back in 89 my grandma was in the hospital for a long time and we wound up having to open presants in the lobby around a huge tree.

Sounds like fun, but it wasn’t. Nothing about that christmas seemed right. God I miss my grandma

Also Thanksgiving in 99 was horrible for us. My grandpa had cancer and was past the time they expected him to live. So my grandma (not the one above) decided and it was going to be his last thanksgiving and she had to plan every minute detail out and we had to follow.

We always have the whole family over at my house and we do all the cooking, but she wanted to have it at her house and she wanted to cook. Problem being she can’t cook, is a controll freak, and her plans never make sense.

So we were all stuck around a small table eating bad food, which later made us sick, and being forced to act like and say things she wanted us to. This is all because she was sure this would be his last Thanksgiving.

No one had a good time thanks to her psycho controlling and it just made the mood worse. Next year we went back to having it at my house. My grandpa held on for a few more years before the cancer won the battle.

I sometimes wonder if it was to simply stick it to my grandma. "I’ll go when I’m ready to go and no one is going to tell me different"

Ghosted by Punisher Bass @ 11/19/2005 10:55 PM EST

One year when I was little my mom dragged me over to my grandmother’s on Xmas wearing this itchy cream colored wool sweater. I went to eat a sweet pickle and it made me throw up all over the place.

This holiday is going to be sad, I’m sure. My boyfriend has a certain job that I can’t talk about. For confedentialty reasons I rarely know where he is, what he’s doing, or if he’s in any danger. I barely get to see him, but I love him dearly. It breaks my heart thinking that he’ll probably spend the holidays alone. I’d give up every present I get just to see him. *tears*

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/19/2005 10:56 PM EST

Five years ago my grandpa died the week of Christmas.

Three years ago, my freshly divorced parents each got married the week between Christmas and New Years. To a couple of weirdoes. Clearly, they were each trying to be first to re-marry.

Since Matt just said "sucky holiday stories," I will also mention the worst/weirdest gifts I’ve ever received…

After dating for over a year, I went with my (former) boyfriend to his family’s for the holidays (during the ‘divorce’ I really wanted to be part of a family celebration). His mother gifted me one of the little containers of popcorn she kept on hand for unexpected guests. This was fine, I wasnt expecting anything from her, really. The sucky part was that she gave me the exact same thing the following year. For some reason we never really bonded…

Her precious son was equally adept at gift-giving. The first year, I received a coat that was clearly too small; the second year he gave me a futon mattress that was on "backorder" until February. The third year he did give me the Back to the Future trilogy, so at least I got out with something…

Ghosted by schroeder @ 11/19/2005 11:08 PM EST

I’m sorry to get off topic, but I was just curious what you all think about Coke not having a Santa can/bottle this year? This year it is a Polar Bear instead of Santa.

Ghosted by SuperRecoome @ 11/19/2005 11:19 PM EST

The worst Christmas was 99, when my grandma died a few days after Christmas. We visited her on our way to my mom’s parents’ since she wasn’t well enough for visitors. It was so heartbreaking to see her lying in bed, all weak with no hair. My parents had just seperated, and it was my paternal grandma who was sick, but I was with my mom, so it was awkward making conversation. When we left it was the last time I saw her; she said "I love you" but I was too choked up to say it back.
Man, that’s depressing. On a happy note, I saw Goblet of Fire and it was great – a little rushed and of course stuff was cut out, but great just the same.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/19/2005 11:21 PM EST

I was in the hospital once for Christmas, that was probably the worst.

Last year, I got the flu and did nothing but watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story.

Ghosted by CountBlah @ 11/19/2005 11:24 PM EST

This has forever changed my christmases. One year I was very enthused about x-mas. Maybe 2000. I had given my parents my list of toys and boy was it ever great. I didn’t open a present on christmas eve but that was a ok because nothing could ruin this christmas. I fell asleep on the couch watching A Christmas Story. I awoke on christmas morning in my bed with a huge smile on my face. I woke up my parents, rushed down stairs and saw that there were only around 9 presents under the tree. That was allright, maybe they just put a bunch of the action figures in a single big package like they had a couple years ago. What did I get? A bunch of cheap, off brand interactive toys that didn’t work and two Dragon Ball Z action figures. I didn’t get anything that I wanted. I was very upset. Ever since then I have bought almost all of the gifts that I receive myself. Christmas has lost almost all of the suprise in opening up gifts.

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 11/19/2005 11:31 PM EST

Well, anyone that was around last year at Christmastime got to see my worst holiday moments in all their blazing glory, so I’ll just summarize for those who weren’t: I had to work at a job I despised on Christmas Eve. I came home wanting a little family togetherness and expecting everyone to be home, but my parents were at my grandparents having oyster stew (which I loathe) and my brother was in love with the Internet. After calling my grandparents and fake-yelling at my mom, I find out I was on speakerphone. And the entire family was pissed at me the whole next day.

I’m a little afraid of what the holidays are going to be like this year, and that they’re going to royally suck. My boyfriend is meeting my extended family for the first time on Thanksgiving, and I’m afraid he’s going to be convinced I’ll turn out like them and never speak to me again. Also, I have always been very close to my maternal grandparents since I was a baby…and my grandfather just passed away this August after a 4-year battle with cancer. I haven’t even remotely let it sink in yet, and I know that the holidays are going to be rough. That’s why I’m glad to have X-E around, to keep me in good holiday cheer and from moping too much over things I can’t change.

And I finally found the Nerds Holiday fun book whatsit thing! Target is my new best friend. And White Nerds are my new God…I’d forgotten how freakin’ great they are.

Also, Matt, thanks to you I made and tasted Kool-Aid today for the first time since I was probably 8 or so. Sweet baby Jesus, I’ll never let my cupboard or fridge be unstocked again. I’d forgotten just how goddamn good it is. I only got to drink it at friends’ houses, because as my mother reiterated to me today, she thinks it’ll "rot my teeth." I’ve never had a cavity. And I have definitely eaten more than enough sweet crap in my life to get one. Stupid mother logic.

Oh, AND (as if this post wasn’t long enough, heh) that Sharp camcorder commercial made me die laughing…I write online copy for several consumer electronics chains, and considering how damn tiny camcorders are these days, that big ol’ thing just cracks me up.

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/19/2005 11:32 PM EST

I remember at the annual New Year’s Eve "bash" at my grandmother’s house (basically it was my brothers and my cousins gettting together playing nintendo, stuffing our faces with chip-chop ham sandwiches and nacho cheese doritos, and watching shitty west coast new years celebrations: like the Merv Griffin celebration which is notoriously bad…) and I had gone upstairs to piss. Well i came running down the stairs and dove into the matress I was chillin on when in mid-air I heard everyone say "NOOOOOO!!!!" and right then I landed in a puddle of dog-piss. I was drenched and "pissed off" and apparently "pissed on" in a way…this was the same night my cousin ate too many pepperoni sandwiches and yakked his brains out. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh the memories!!!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 11:43 PM EST

Here’s another one: On December 23rd 1996, the band I was playing with at the time had a show a few states away. After the show we went to a party. Around 5 AM the girl whose house we were staying at said we either had to stop drinking or go somewhere else. Me and 2 of my friends brought what was left of the beer ball and a Liter of Jack Daniels into a car parked out on the street (Owned by my passed-out bandmate still inside the house). After about an hour or so the kid who was sitting in the drivers seat started driving. We tried as hard as we could to get him to pull over but, he ended up driving into a brick wall on the side of a grocery store at 65 mph. I ended up breaking my Jaw in 4 places and had my mouth wired shut for 4 months. I spent Christmas eve in the hospital. I came home on Christmas day but spent it in my room doped up on morphine with a mouth full of metal wires.
Damn, this thread is kinda depressing…

Ghosted by D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 11:54 PM EST

At 15 years old, I was uninvited from holiday merriment with my family and had to spend it alone. I still don’t know why they told me I couldn’t come.

Ghosted by Claudia @ 11/20/2005 12:00 PM EST

Hmm well a few years ago my Dad started to get really obsessive over taking nice pictures and stuff like that during Christmas morning, to the point of getting really angry when I showed anything but psychotic interest in taking the damn pictures. It was one of those things where his obsession over having perfect pictures kinda ruined the fun of christmas and after a few years of that christmas morning has lost all it’s real charm and it feels like a just going through the motions thing now. But I still love the season, I just don’t quite care about the presents anymore, or the once greatest day of the year.

Ghosted by James @ 11/20/2005 12:04 PM EST

So much for Christmas is dead forever on X-E-but it’s cool,this site helps me bring in the Christmas feeling big time! My worst Christmas took place at my aunt’s house about 12-13 years ago. My mom got sick in the middle of dinner and took the liberty to puker her guts out while we attempted to eat. Then surprise surprise I GOT SICK-and puked my guts out-Merry pukemas has never sounded so good.

Ghosted by Mike the Great @ 11/20/2005 12:07 PM EST

Since we’re all complaining, Saturday Night Live stinks this week.

Ghosted by kb @ 11/20/2005 12:14 PM EST

kb, doesn’t it stink practically every week these days?

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/20/2005 12:19 PM EST

Nicole-
I think it’s Korn.

Ghosted by kb @ 11/20/2005 12:22 PM EST

Another One. This didn’t suck for me, but it sucked for some girl I don’t know. This was last year and my family was playing a game around 9pm a few days before christmas. We thought we heard a noise outside but then just decided it was nothing. About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and this girl was standing there. Her head above her eyebrow was swollen and she had some blood in various places, and she was pretty much blue. We let her inside and my mom did the mother thing while my brother-in-law and I checked out the scene. She had driven her car off a fairly steep cliff right across the road and slightly above my house. We did the full CSI thing and discovered that she flew in the air about 20 feet up and 60 feet out, took out a couple trees, and rolled to a stop. That car was fucked. Everything inside was busted. We did some more snooping and found there was no way she was wearing her seatbelt, and she must’ve been going damn fast to get that kind of air on a road that wasn’t even icey.
This is the best part: We went back and asked her some stuff (she was fine, minus some shock) and she said she WAS wearing her seatbelt, she was only going 35mph, and that’s it. We went upstairs and were like "Liiiaarrr". We suspected lots of speed and some drinky. Then we totally socked it to her by telling her parents our findings. It was like a christmas crime scene mystery. Sounds mean but now that I think back… it was AWESOME! It’s the only way she’ll learn. Sucked for her…

Ghosted by Mattman @ 11/20/2005 12:23 PM EST

Last year, definitely.

My husband was being "detained" by immigration, our future was uncertain, and my never-the-peak-of-sanity Manic Depressive mother hit a trough during which she thought my father was trying to poison her, and that the local car dealership was aligned with the devil, and kept yelling at me to get out of the house… She slapped me a couple of times, justifying it with ‘whoever spares the rod spoils the child’. Sorry, mom, but I’m a grown, married woman. That argument isn’t valid anymore.

I would have gotten out of the house, but the thought of being _alone_ during that time was even worse than the idea of being yelled at, called a horrible person, and slapped.

God, that was a bad Christmas.

Ghosted by Silkenray @ 11/20/2005 12:24 PM EST

I have very pleasant holidays with little exception.

My grandma passed away a few days after Christmas last year. That’s obviously the worst. However, I don’t really associate that with the holiday in my mind for whatever reason.

One year I didn’t get that Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Playset including Pee-Wee with EXCLUSIVE BIKE! That one pissed me off (enough that I, obviously, am still talking about it to this day–long after my otherwise complete Pee-Wee toy collection is gone).

Ghosted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:28 PM EST

I feel your pain, Darth Poop, about having to buy/pick out all the gifts myself. That’s about as bad as my Xmas stories come.

This site is what has brought my my Xmas Joy the past 2 years, and this is gonna be the 3rd.

That and I have yet to get the Jones Regional Pack…Help Me Please!! Thank you.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 12:34 PM EST

Not to double post, but Dane Cook is gonna Host SNL! On December 3rd!

And ya, Korn is so far the only good thing about this ep, that and the Vincent Price Thanksgiving Special 1958.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 12:38 PM EST

We had thanksgiving here once, the entire family was packed in our house. We have this 700+ pound relative that I’ll call Mrs. 700+ pound woman. I call her that because I’m not sure how I’m related to her and I don’t recall her name.

She broke our house is the point I’m getting to.

I’m not joking, 2 beams under our house in our basement collasped while she was in this room and since then each side of the house has leaned opposite directions.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 12:38 PM EST

She broke your house? That sounds like a good idea for a sitcom holiday episode!

Ghosted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:41 PM EST

What’s going on with all the bold print?

Ghosted by Leotrice @ 11/20/2005 12:46 PM EST

I dunno. I tried to close a bold tag, but that didn’t work. No, that didn’t work at all.

Ghosted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:49 PM EST

Well,I was going to say that dragging up your worst holiday memories are a good way to kill the holiday spirit,but after reading some of this sorry stuff… I suddenly feel better about my bad holidays.

Ghosted by TOMARS_DUMBASS @ 11/20/2005 12:51 PM EST

I hear ya. Whatever Christmas spirit I had built up so far was destroyed by this thread. It’s time for me to go check out last years Christmas articles and get the spirit going again from scratch.

Ghosted by D-Roc @ 11/20/2005 12:55 PM EST

I think it is very sweet and revealing that so many X-Ers were close to their grandparents.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/20/2005 12:58 PM EST

Yes,when grandparents pass,everything changes.

Ghosted by TOMARS_DUMBASS @ 11/20/2005 1:08 AM EST

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