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Christmas candies & the dolphin dream.

Dream Diary: I have no idea where this one came from, but it feels like it had to have some special meaning that some dream dictionary will be able to explain to me. Apparently, I had purchased, or inherited, or otherwise obtained...a live dolphin. A huge motherfucking dolphin, more gregarious than Flipper, shinier than silver, who swam to and fro in this big manmade ditch in front of my old house. I loved this dolphin. Because of the nature of dreams and how the relativity of positions and whatnot didn't apply, whatever that means, I was able to chill out with my dolphin as he swam around, but never actually get wet myself. Then someone -- I don't know who, but someone official -- told me that the watery ditch wasn't proper for the dolphin, and that I'd either have to give him up or spend the cash needed for an adequate tank. Realizing that I didn't have that kind of money, I looked at the dolphin and realized that he had to go. Then I woke up. Whenever the fun gets spoiled in my dreams, I wake up. I guess that's okay.

I'm digging this. Christmas Christmas, everywhere, and I've managed to keep myself in check. I'm not blowing my wad with overexcitement before December, and for me, this is a major triumph. Phase 2 of the plan entails me making sure I spread out my remaining vacation days from work adequately enough to not lose the season in a sea of God damned Dora commercials. That said, it's been nice. The Christmas music's been nice. Going to Best Buy and seeing the little special area for holiday-related DVDs has been nice. Thinking about how the apartment we're moving into soon will enable us to have a real dining room for next Christmas is nice. As I write this, Nat's Chestnuts came on the Jukebox. That's nice, too.

I'm also digging all of the new candy, which in some cases isn't so much "new" as it is "back for another shot," but whatever, it's candy with snowflake-drenched packaging, and I'll never fall out of love with that. Shown above are just four of the many things I've picked up recently, including medallion-shaped Nestle Crunch and Butterfinger bars, marked with Santa Claus Is Coming To Town graphics, not just on the packaging, but also on the chocolate discs. York's Peppermint Snowflake just feels right, as nobody has ever eaten a Peppermint Patty in the history of Peppermint Patties and not thought of snow. Finally, Russell Stover's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Jingle Bell is good, but not good enough to warrant a name that takes 45 seconds to type. Click here to see the candies opened and mutilated.

Survey: What are some of your more personal holiday traditions? I know you eat dinner with your family, I know you get presents, I know you try to watch Charlie Brown and your local tree lighting ceremony. But what's some of the more personal ones? One of mine is the Christmas season Sunday newspaper scouring, a ritual that begins the first weekend of November. I just scour the circulars that come with the Sunday papers for anything Christmassy, from Target catalogues with a bunch of red ribbon graphics to one-page offers for ceramic angels with "HOLIDAY" etched over their asses. Your turn.

For more information about dung beetles, click here.

Posted by Matt on 11/16/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 233 comments

I went down to my local grocery store and instantly found two things that I will lust over untill I have them, and both are made by Kinder:

1. Kinder Christmas Kugel: Basically a GIANT (about the size of a large softball) Kinder Egg, filled with random Sponge Bob or Christmas toys.

2. Kinder Advents Calender!: Filled with 6 Kinder Eggs, 6 Happy Hippos, and random other Kinder chocolate. That almost makes up for the fact that it’s butt cold, and people think I’m crazy (not like, "Gee, your silly and foolish" crazy, but "Gudrun, call the police, there’s an escape mental patient" crazy) when I ware shorts and a t-shirt. Sucks, but at least there’s chocolate!

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 11/19/2005 8:27 AM

Melissa Y –
We totally had matching pajamas as well, though never Alf. I broke away the year I got my New Kids on the Block nightgown.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/19/2005 9:21 AM

I wrap presents while watching wrestling tapes

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 11/19/2005 10:43 AM

My mom drank pina coladas while putting up the christmas tree in the seventies and eighties.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/19/2005 1:35 PM

Wow, when was the last time a blog got over 200 comments?

I was readiong the Spiderman Reviews Crayons part 1 again earlier this week and that had almost 300, but it was spanning over from august to at least october or so before Matt finally closed it. This one got over 200 in just 4 days.

Thank goodness its Saturday and the Night Thread will be up soon…I hope.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/19/2005 2:18 PM

Jessica Marie,
GASP! We had New Kids nightgowns too!!! We got them for Easter one year though! :) I also had regular New Kids pajamas too…I was an obsessed fan…still love them!!

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y @ 11/19/2005 2:31 PM

Melissa – that’s awesome. You and your sister must be closer in age than we were. I was born in 81 and she was in 85, so when New Kids came around she was still too young.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/19/2005 2:56 PM

Of course the big-Big-BIG tradition is that last-minute shopping trip. Rushing the stores, sword blazing, gun slinging, teeth bared, fur flying, wreaking havoc and bloody knees as I square off against other late shoppers and old ladies.
"No! I claim the GI Joe commemerative Wild Night in Bangkok set! Your Geriatric Biddy style is excellent, but let’s see if you can withstand my BUFFALO-BLINDSIDE!!!"

(that was my most humiliating x-mas defeat ever.)

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/19/2005 3:20 PM

I wish more people would be sympathetic towards those who have to have artificial trees. They are a lifesaver for those of us that like to decorate and have them glowing in our homes but cannot tolerate the real live thing. Unfortunately a "real live tree" in someones home is like the death knell for me. I am terribly allergic and cannot be in the same room with them. :( Tho I love them so. O Christmas Tree.

Ah my family had many traditions, thinking back. Five years ago I skipped from the no snow ever south to the snow drenched north…leaving my family behind for a fiancee. We haven’t really formed many traditions because for three years in a row I was either sick or extremely preggers. This year I’m again, not too well but am determined to atleast have a tree, bake Christmas cookies and go holiday shopping in atleast one mall. Those are my goals.

Back in the day though… it started before Thanksgiving… our tiny village community would have a town lighting ceremony. All the businesses would buy lights and dress up their stores for this big lighting extravaganza. There would be live music in the square and my father would usually be the one to MC the celebration and air it over his radio station. This happens usually the Friday after Thanksgiving but preparations start way before.

Then there was the Ducks Unlimited Banquet, with tons of food. The station Christmas party, with tons of food. The Bass Club banquet: with tons of food. The list goes on and on. It was like a neverending parade of eating and nights out on the town, primping up in your Xmas-y best.

The putting up of the tree was a big affair. My father put the tree together and then my mother and I would spend the night decorating it with zillions of ornaments ranging from Hallmark ones to shiatty homemade ones I made in Bible School when I was like four, to even more treasured items like my baby booties or a My Little Pony with Christmas ribbons. Xmas music would play and we’d take breaks to eat Chocolate chip muffins with frozen glasses of milk.

The decorating of the yard was a big deal, we had all these wood cutout ornaments including Santa, his sleigh and five reindeer, candy canes and more. I would paint the windows with Xmas scenes and the whole house and all the foliage would get draped in their lighted Xmas best. Our house freakin’ glowed once the lightup Frosties and candles were set out. It was a gorgeous display of Christmas, especially the years my father laid out a tree design on the roof with the Chrissy lights.

Christmas itself was a three day affair. Xmas Eve we would go to my Grandmas for what was basically a holiday themed family reunion. Relatives I never saw the rest of the year would be there and the kids that lived there would open their presents, making you feel a little lame because they were getting tons of loot and I was lucky to get maybe a gift from my grandma. Some years we would have a name exchange program, others it was a free for all. There was so much food involved – it was ridiculous. Everything from traditional red velvet cakes to an assortment of fresh killed game… Us kids would hole up in one of the kids bedrooms and play Nintendo or Sega Genesis or whatever was hot that year. They usually had some crappy games but we’d make-do. Lots of talk and catching up with cousins you haven’t seen in forever was nice. When we got older the adults would lure us out to mingle with them for awhile but anyone under the age of 25 would end up crammed into that back room. This tradition ended when my Grandma died when I was about 16.

Oh and of course the Great Last Minute (literally) shopping trip. The Walmart employees would joke that it wasnt officially the end of the holiday rush til my father closed the store down. :) We always had to run for last minute items to finish the holiday dinner or wrapping… great memories there.

Christmas Eve night/Xmas Morning: are you kidding? Who could sleep? My mom would be up wrapping presents til 4 in the morning and I would be up at 5 just sitting in front of the tree, waiting… we didnt open gifts until my father came back from work around 8:30am, so my cousin Steve would usually come down around 6ish and we would play video games and ponder about what we would get that year until my father would arrive.

Then he would play Santa and hand out the gifts, torn into with glee. The best present was never under the tree, it was always hidden behind the curtain or "forgotten" in the car. It was always something special too, like a Nintendo or a rainbow unicorn bicycle (when I was 6), a CD changer, one year I recieved a 19" TV and thought I was "teh hot". :)

Christmas breakfast was next, and it was always either orange or cinnamon rolls and lots of milk. The perfect starter to get you going before the "big meal" later on. One year my father burned them and we ended up having like cereal or something instead. LOL

then VH-1 would have Christmas videos on all day. We’d switch between that and CMT and help prepare the XMas dinner. Another batch of relatives would show up which meant another round of present opening and then a GIGANTIC Christmas lunch that had so much food it took us a week to finish it. Christmas night we would watch a holiday movie, like Home Alone or National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and I would have to see either the Peanuts Christmas special, Frosty or Rudolph. Rudolph is a classic!

The day after was a day of soaking in all the goodies we got and visiting even more relatives that we didn’t see the first two days. That’s what happens when most of your family either lives in town or on the outskirts or shows up just for the special occasion.

Now that I am no longer near any of these people, things are different. There’s still presents handed out at my fiancee’s mother’s house but it was never treated as such a big ritualistic deal that my family gave Christmas. Their house would look like something from Martha Stewart’s Xmas dreams, while my B/F’s family has like…a tree. No giant 5 foot tall stuffed reindeer or a dining table decked out with a Christmas village. I loved setting up the Xmas village….

Now that I have a daughter, Xmas is going to be a bigger deal as time goes on. I want her to have fond memories of Xmas like I do. With Christmas baking and early shopping and trying to find the right presents for everyone… lots of Christmas carols and good food with friends and family. Light-looking and blaring Trans Siberian Orchestra’s "First Snow" when we recieve "the first snow"…

Ahh sorry for the excessive nature of the post here. Reading all 200+ comments and your memories of Christmases come and gone kind of made me pine for those olden days and rekindled my fire for wanting to start new traditions and reinstant those of old. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 11/19/2005 4:08 PM

Not a fan, but I also had the NKOTB jammies. And I feel your "allergic to da pinies" pain, Kittycat.
As a kid I had a series of similar aquatic mammal dreams, involving an orca living in my family’s pool, but I always just chalked it up to too much Free Willy.
Any time there’s a great survey the comments hit 100+ quick but this one’s really been afire.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/19/2005 4:14 PM

Kittycatgirl, that was epic! Still, interesting stuff.

I need to find a way to get off of work on Saturday nights. Judging by the responses on the last two threads, this SNT is going to be gi-normous. Unfortunately, I’ll be selling popcorn and tickets to little kids wearing stupid wizard-hats, big dumb glasses, and probably some sort of enchanted smocks.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/19/2005 4:20 PM

Wow, mtrox, sounds like those Platoon fan club parties get really wild.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/19/2005 5:47 PM

I’ll be one of those little kids…oKay, I won’t be dressed up, but I’m going and I’m geeked for Harry Potter.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/19/2005 5:54 PM

mtrox has found the holy grail…….

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 6:02 PM

I’ve never read a Harry Potter book or seen any of the movies. I must stay loyal to the Lord of the Rings. I’m going to miss tonights thread because I’m going to a party! Whoo!

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/19/2005 6:05 PM

I found the teenage girls a bigger annoyance than the kiddies when I went, but I think that’s just true for me at movies in general. As far as the movie itself (Goblet of Fire), it was okay. I’d call it the second best of the four so far (Chamber being first, Sorceror’s Stone the last).

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/19/2005 6:31 PM

I’m with Darth on this one. I can’t stand Harry Potter (LOTR all the way!). For some reason it just seems too childish. The only thing more ridiculous than Harry Potter in my mind are the people who dress up like wizards. (cosplay weirdos)

Chestnuts roasted by D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 6:39 PM

I don’t like Harry Potter nor LOTR. I’m also the one on here who said I hated Halloween and Christmas. I fit right in!

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/19/2005 6:56 PM

I just hate movies in general, at least current movies…

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 7:11 PM

SNT where art thou????

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 7:28 PM

Well, for years in my family, we went down to New Castle, PA to have christmas at my grandma’s house, going to the house of my grandad on my father’s side for the night before festivities.

Before we’d go down there, we’d have our own little christmas up here in NY, to get all of our presents out of the way so we wouldn’t have to pack them. On the night before out christmas, we’d enjoy a great meal, consisting of shrimp, brie, champagne, and other goodies, while watching a movie, and then the day after, when the presents were opened, we’d order take out.

On the night before the actual christmas, we’d head over to Grandad’s place, and enjoy another nice meal, made of sandwiches, shrimp, beef stick, and chips, with margaritas and other drinks, while one of my dad’s relatives would drop by with a wide assortment of amazing christmas cookies made by my Aunt Sandy.

Then on christmas day, we’d head over to Grandad’s house again, to begin the opening of the presents, as well as have some pastries and hot cocoa for breakfast. Then we’d go back to grandma’s house on my mother’s side, and open all our presents there, before having both turkey and ham for dinner.

We’d then spend the day after over in Boardman Ohio, where you can see movies in great theaters at reasonable to ubelievably low prices.

We only skipped this in 1991, when my mother was 9 months pregnant with my sister. It was also the year i got my Sega Genesis, so it was good anyway.

But, we’ll have to start a new tradition this year…my grandmother has moved up here to an apartment near us, her health now in a slow decline, needing constant visits to the doctor. I’ve inherited her car, took over the payments, since she’s too weak to use it now.

But she’s holding firm, and I’m hopeful this christmas will be another good one that we can enjoy with her around. As for Grandad, we’re going to drive down and see him sometime in January.

Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 11/20/2005 10:31 PM

It’s just not X-mas without my Nana getting a tin of Quality Street to share, and eating Ferero Rocher. Yep X-mas isall about the food XD

Chestnuts roasted by Blue @ 11/21/2005 11:51 AM

Any adults in the house get absolutely wasted while wrapping presents from Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, after the kiddos go to bed, of course.
It makes for a wonderful Christmas morning, hangover and all!

Chestnuts roasted by curvy @ 11/21/2005 1:55 PM

our family has an actual festivus. Like the costanza holiday on seinfeld but we were doing it long before the series stole our brainiac idea. The airing of the greivances takes place immediately after the present opening when my mother starts complaining about all the hard work she put into the breakfast. which is an egg casserole and some of those orange frosted rolls from pillsbury. After we laugh and make fun of her martyrdom we commence to the feats of strength. Since we live on the side of a mountain it can get pretty creative. The first year i brought my fiance to visit he sledded into the foundation of a house and broke his uh, coccyx, and spent the rest of the holiday sitting on a donut while we all laughed at him. "put some snow on it" was the general remark. Most recently there wasn’t any snow on the ground, so we piled up all the christmas wrapping paper and carboard and lit a big bonfire and rode a red rider wagon through it at top speed. It was truly the best festivus ever. This year we are planning something with a "ring of fire" and "blazing snow fort" i’ll keep you posted

Chestnuts roasted by Alikatz @ 11/21/2005 3:22 PM

Every year for the last four or five years, I would throw a Toys for Tots party. All my friends would gather at my apartment and everyone would bring one (or more often than not much more) toy or book for charity. Had to bring a toy or you couldn’t hang.

We would then proceed to exchange gifts amongst ourselves, watch bad movies, play bad video games and get royally drunk.

Later, I would take all the gifts to a local Toys For Tots, or some such charity.

Good times

Chestnuts roasted by gantbobo @ 11/21/2005 6:44 PM

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