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Christmas candies & the dolphin dream.

Dream Diary: I have no idea where this one came from, but it feels like it had to have some special meaning that some dream dictionary will be able to explain to me. Apparently, I had purchased, or inherited, or otherwise obtained...a live dolphin. A huge motherfucking dolphin, more gregarious than Flipper, shinier than silver, who swam to and fro in this big manmade ditch in front of my old house. I loved this dolphin. Because of the nature of dreams and how the relativity of positions and whatnot didn't apply, whatever that means, I was able to chill out with my dolphin as he swam around, but never actually get wet myself. Then someone -- I don't know who, but someone official -- told me that the watery ditch wasn't proper for the dolphin, and that I'd either have to give him up or spend the cash needed for an adequate tank. Realizing that I didn't have that kind of money, I looked at the dolphin and realized that he had to go. Then I woke up. Whenever the fun gets spoiled in my dreams, I wake up. I guess that's okay.

I'm digging this. Christmas Christmas, everywhere, and I've managed to keep myself in check. I'm not blowing my wad with overexcitement before December, and for me, this is a major triumph. Phase 2 of the plan entails me making sure I spread out my remaining vacation days from work adequately enough to not lose the season in a sea of God damned Dora commercials. That said, it's been nice. The Christmas music's been nice. Going to Best Buy and seeing the little special area for holiday-related DVDs has been nice. Thinking about how the apartment we're moving into soon will enable us to have a real dining room for next Christmas is nice. As I write this, Nat's Chestnuts came on the Jukebox. That's nice, too.

I'm also digging all of the new candy, which in some cases isn't so much "new" as it is "back for another shot," but whatever, it's candy with snowflake-drenched packaging, and I'll never fall out of love with that. Shown above are just four of the many things I've picked up recently, including medallion-shaped Nestle Crunch and Butterfinger bars, marked with Santa Claus Is Coming To Town graphics, not just on the packaging, but also on the chocolate discs. York's Peppermint Snowflake just feels right, as nobody has ever eaten a Peppermint Patty in the history of Peppermint Patties and not thought of snow. Finally, Russell Stover's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Jingle Bell is good, but not good enough to warrant a name that takes 45 seconds to type. Click here to see the candies opened and mutilated.

Survey: What are some of your more personal holiday traditions? I know you eat dinner with your family, I know you get presents, I know you try to watch Charlie Brown and your local tree lighting ceremony. But what's some of the more personal ones? One of mine is the Christmas season Sunday newspaper scouring, a ritual that begins the first weekend of November. I just scour the circulars that come with the Sunday papers for anything Christmassy, from Target catalogues with a bunch of red ribbon graphics to one-page offers for ceramic angels with "HOLIDAY" etched over their asses. Your turn.

For more information about dung beetles, click here.

Posted by Matt on 11/16/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 233 comments
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1st. Sweet!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by T.J> @ 11/16/2005 8:20 PM

My husband daughter and I load up in the car, buy hot chocolate and popcorn and drive around for about 4 hours looking at decorated homes. We listen to christmas music while we do this, then we stop at an all night diner and have a bite to eat. My husband and I have done this since we married 8 years ago… its my favoriite part of christmas!

Chestnuts roasted by bloodybrilliantme @ 11/16/2005 8:26 PM

If you ask me, I like to walk around my neighborhood and beyond on Christmas Eve just looking at Christmas lights. It’s lonely albiet, but then again…I’m a very lonely person…pity…

Chestnuts roasted by Laughingboy69 @ 11/16/2005 8:27 PM

I still play with my toys as if I was still 6, except I have better plotlines now. Well every christmas eve I get to open one gift. Then I turn on A Christmas Story on tbs or whatever channel that it’s on. I play with my toys and watch the best Christmas movie ever! Yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/16/2005 8:29 PM

The day after thanksgiving, I eat all remaining halloween candy, look at christmas ads, and watch some of those Rankin-Bass animated specials that I have taped.
I try to jump start myself into the season.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 11/16/2005 8:33 PM

Every year, my family busts out a terribly embarassing video of all of us dressed in tie-dyed red longjohns dancing and singing to a cassette we had just gotten: The Simpsons Sing the Blues. I was 7 or so, so my little sister and I can be forgiven, but my brother playing guitar on a dog bone, and my dad’s ass coming into the shot every so often cannot. However, I did the lamest white boy dance ever (somewhere between the running man, and the accidentally-stumbled-into-Soul-Train shimmy). Not many people have seen that video, but it’s always been a tradition in my house.

This year, I’m going to make the drinking of the Jones sodas a tradition. Wish me luck!

Chestnuts roasted by Quartalchondriac @ 11/16/2005 8:34 PM

Don’t worry Matt, I’ve got some FUBAR’d dreams m’self.

Being in Radio and loving Christmas, I started a tradition a couple years ago of reading "’Twas The Night Before Christmas" on, you guessed it, Christmas Eve. Since I do the night show, I usually run it about 9pm. I always pre-record it so I don’t screw up, then I’ll just turn up the studio monitors real, real loud and stand at the big picture windows and look out over northwest Oklahoma City whilst drinking hot cocoa. We usually play a couple Christmas songs afterwards, one of which is Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas since it’s one of my favorite Christmas songs. It’s actually really nice and I’m lucky to have a boss that allowed me to start that tradition.

The only other thing would be that my fiance and I always make a much bigger deal out of our stockings than other presents. We stuff those things so full they usually have to sit on the ground because the nails in the apartment walls won’t sustain any longer.

Chestnuts roasted by Frito @ 11/16/2005 8:38 PM

Putting the ceramic ornament featuring Snoopy’s pal Woodstock driving a firetruck while donning a Santa cap on the Christmas tree…I used to get so pissed when my brothers or my parents would try to put it on the tree…

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/16/2005 8:40 PM

Usually a week before Halloween I start scouring the Home Shopping Network to see if they’ve started to sell their cheap mini-light encrusted wreaths and topiaries. I also keep a lookout for those Time Life Christmas album commercials that seem to have become increasingly scarce in the last couple of years. Every night up until Christmas Eve I watch every one the Christmas specials I’ve accumulated over the years…A Very Brady Christmas, the Saved by the Bell Christmas special, Flintstones Christmas(the one from the origianl series), Christmas Eve on Sesame St., an X-men Christmas, the Grinch and Charlie Brown, and my personal all time favorite A Muppet Family Christmas. Oh… I also absolutly cannot miss the yearly broadcast of Toronto’s Santa Claus Parade (Canada’s equivalent to Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade). Something about that constant barage of marching bads playing Frosty the Snowman while people dressed up as upside-down clowns dancing around the Mother Goose float always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s on this weekend!

Chestnuts roasted by dysalizar @ 11/16/2005 8:51 PM

When the Christmas season begins…the real Christmas season, when it’s actually cold and people put up their lights, not the "season" that begins on June 15th with everybody in the world trying to sell you Christmas crap…
Yeah, screw it, that set of ellipses just got completely out of hand. Start over.
When the Christmas season begins, I like to go to the park over by the mall. There, they have a massive set of Christmas decorations, huge sculptures made of wire and tiny flashing lights. It’s beautiful, and where else are you going to find a four-block-square Christmas display called "Festival of Lights" without even a hint of irony or shame? Anyhow, I’ve done it every year since I came to college here. The day before I go home for the holidays, I go to the Festival of Lights *snicker* without any of my friends, about an hour before it closes, when hardly anyone is there. Then I just walk around and look at the lights. It sounds trite, but at this point it is quite possibly my favorite part of Christmas, above and beyond all the family and fellowship and crap.
That probably says something rather unattractive about me as a person.
Anyway, I think this year I’m gonna go quite a bit earlier, when the place is still full of families and people. Then I’m gonna whip snowballs at all the kids till the cops drag me away. "You little peckers! I’m still eating three packets of candy corn a day because none of you bothered to knock on my door for Halloween! Eat slush and die!"
Ahh. Christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 11/16/2005 8:51 PM

Well, last Christmas I had the flu so there was a lot of "not leaving my bed" and "carrying a bucket" around. I think those’re some good traditions to keep.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 11/16/2005 8:53 PM

Since my parents are English (though I was raised here in the U.S.)we always have Christmas crackers with dinner on Christmas Eve. Our personal tradition is that everyone wears their Christmas cracker paper hat all evening, and if someone gets sick of wearing it and takes their hat off, you can punch them in the arm.

Another tradition we started is that on Christmas morning the youngest family member puts on a santa hat and picks a present from under the tree, eyes closed. If it’s for them, they have to put it back; if not, they give it to the recipient, who opens it and everyone gets to see what they got. Then that person puts on the hat and goes to get another present, and so on. It’s a great way to make gift time last longer.

Chestnuts roasted by HerronBird @ 11/16/2005 8:53 PM

I son’t do anything out of the ordinary, but I have to watch every christmas special… EVER. Christmas Eve on Sesame Street is reserved for Christmas Eve, along with anything else muppet related. Cartoon Network always has a crazy marathon, and I even dig into the untraditional christmas films like Edward Scissorhands and Gremlins. If it happened around Christmas time, it must be watched…

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 11/16/2005 8:53 PM

One thing that I can always, always remember doing as a kid was getting up at like, oh, 3 a.m. and sneaking out to the living room with my trusty flashlight to check out the haul. If the Christmas tree wasn’t on, I’d plug it in, because nothing is better than that moment where it’s still dark out and the only light is the multicolored tree lights and all the glorious, glorious wonders are wrapped up under the tree.

I’d usually check out who, between me and my little brother, got the most presents, and who got the biggest present. I’d see how many presents I got from Santa vs. my parents. Plus, I’d take every everliving thing out of my stocking and try to figure out what they were. And then check on my parents every ten minutes until they FINALLY woke up (at like, 6-7 am) so we could open stuff.

My little brother is five years younger than me, so once he got to be old enough to not cry like a bitch if I woke him up, he’d join me and we’d whisper away, trying to figure out what we got and fake-fighting over who got the most/biggest presents.

Now that we’re older (he’s almost 18, I’m 23), he and I usually do the once-over real quick at some early hour and then go back to sleep till it’s a more reasonable time to wake the parents up. It’s not the same, but it’s keeping up the tradition in some form.

Another thing we do that isn’t exactly a tradition but happens every year just the same is the grand family fight that occurs whenever we put up the Christmas tree. Dad’s already pissed off from having to untagle 900 million feet of lights, my brother’s smart mouth is getting him into trouble, Mom’s running around screaming that we CAN’T have two RED bulbs next to each other, and do we really need to put EVERY single ornament back on the tree, and I’m trying to stay out of it but getting dragged in anyway. It usually ends up with Dad getting royally pissed off and someone’s feeling’s getting hurt. Ah, good times. Good thing my family’s dysfunctional like that and we don’t stay mad at each other long.

I love Christmas and I love you, Matt, for reminding me time and again of that fact. I’m really, really looking forward to X-E’s festivities this year.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/16/2005 8:56 PM

Herronbird – I like that way of giving out gifts on Christmas morning. Every year my brother and I always manage to bitch about who has to pass out presents (mostly because we’re lazy and don’t like to keep bending over and picking up packages). We might have to try that this year.

Chestnuts roasted by Frito @ 11/16/2005 8:58 PM

My parents still humor my little brothers and I by continuing the Santa business of filling stockings and leaving out unwrapped presents mysteriously in the night. I am now 24! My brothers and I religiously wake up at 4am and rendezvous in the back room for a "mission briefing". We wait for the right moment, then sneak into the living room using command tactics and liberate presents one by one, as though they were our buddies trapped behind enemy lines. The stockings are always first. The challenge is not waking the parents, as their room is adjacent to the living room. Also, working in pitch-blackness adds a great deal of excitement. Just what is this book-shaped thing I am holding anyhow!?

Chestnuts roasted by Snogurt @ 11/16/2005 8:58 PM

Hey Snogurt, how come we do just about the same thing but yours sounded more fun? :)

Oh, and Matt…I’m getting you something for Christmas this year. Don’t worry, it can be sent through e-mail. You’ll just have to wait till Dec. 25th to find out what it is. :D

(And apparently I can’t spell untangle, if anyone’s keeping score.)

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/16/2005 9:02 PM

Pittsburgh has an event in late November called Light-Up Night. Everyone within a fifty-mile radius goes downtown and to walk around and listen to bands play Christmas songs, hear choirs singing, look at the department store windows, see a nativity, and see the entries in the gingerbread house contest, among other things. The best part is they set up an ice-skating rink in the middle of PPG Place (a courtyard area) with a huge Christmas tree in the middle sponsored by the local electric company, and some kid gets to plug it in. I. love. it.

I also invite my friends over to my house to watch the old Christmas specials with commercials – there’s nothing quite like nostalgia to add to the warm, comforting feeling of Christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/16/2005 9:05 PM

Oh, and P.S. – we just moved into our first apartment with a dining room and it’s awesome. Have fun with that, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/16/2005 9:09 PM

Right. So I just spent some time wading through some truly atrocious web design, and I think I have your dream more or less pinned down. For the main part of your dream, I found this:

"These amusing, intelligent mammals are a sign of advancement through your own mental vigor, but other details of your dream should also be considered, such as the condition of the water, the location and/or action of the dolphin, etc."

Alternatively:

"To dream of a dolphin, indicates your liability to come under a new government. It is not a very good dream."

Also, dreaming of somebody diving into water apparently denotes the consumation of happy dreams and passionate love. A ditch indicates degradation and wrong-doing. Unless you jumped over the ditch, in which case you will live down any suspicion of wrong-doing. Seeing official figures in your mind (the ones who wanted to take flipper) is a sure and certain sign that the government is trying to hack into your brain. Don’t bother with the tinfoil hat, they’re http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/" target=blank>bullcrap.
So obviously, based on the elements of your dream, you want to have sex with a dolphin. And yet you know it’s terribly, terribly wrong. Unless you jumped over the ditch, in which case you’re golden. And the government wants you to stop, I guess. But wait! Since the secondary super bonus meaning of the dolphin is "liability to come under a new government," it’s not your current government who is trying to hack into your brain. Obviously, you’re well within range of the CN Tower, so it’s the Canadians who are trying to break in. And, as we all know, all Canadians are 100% bang alongside bestiality. So they were there to convince you to move to Canada and pursue your deviant lifestyle, free of legal entanglements.
See? Dreams are perfectly simple and straghtforward, if you have the right tools. Along those lines, it’s really amazing how often the right tools are found on free webhosting.
Incidentally, I didn’t make any of those interpretations up. They’re all from various "dream dictionaries" scattered around the net. Well, except the part about the government trying to hack into your mind. That’s just common sense.

Now, if I got the gist of most of those sites, I’m pretty sure you owe me ten bucks now. Mon.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 11/16/2005 9:10 PM

I hate threadjacking my own thread because this is a great one so far, but Jedoc, to continue with your detective skills, I’ve narrowed down my dream to three buzzwords: dolphin, money and loss.

Dolphin: "To see a dolphin in your dream, symbolizes spiritual guidance, your intellect, mental attributes and emotional trust. Utilize your mind to its capacity and you will move upward in life. Alternatively, it suggests that a line of communication has been established between the conscious and unconscious aspects of yourself. Dolphins represent your willingness and ability to explore and navigate through your emotions."

Money: "To dream that you lose money, signifies temporary unhappiness in the home and a few setbacks in your affairs. You may be feeling weak, vulnerable, and out of control in your waking life. Additionally, you may be lacking ambition, power and self-esteem. "

Loss: "To dream that you lose something may mean that you really have misplaced something that you had not realized yet. It may also be a signal for you to clean out and reorganize your life. You have become overwhelmed and distracted with the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life."

Holy friggin’ accurate. Especially for a dream that happened after the day I had yesterday. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/16/2005 9:22 PM

I love coming up with fun holiday traditions. I like to watch "It’s a Wonderful Life" every Christmas Eve. I wasn’t able to secure a room in my parents’ house to do that last year, but I might see if I can try again this year.

I go shopping with a girlfriend from college around the middle of the month. We meet at one of the local malls, exchange gifts, and get our presents for our families together. We were roommates in college, but we live in different parts of the state now and don’t see each other nearly as much as we’d like.

We used to open one present each on Christmas Eve when we were younger. I wouldn’t be surprised if we revived that tradition when my nephew gets old enough to be really excited about the holidays. Dad always makes this huge, artery-blocking breakfast after all seven of us open gifts. Later, after everyone’s rested and played with their new stuff (including the adults), Mom and Dad take us all out to one of the fancier places in Cape May for Christmas Dinner.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/16/2005 9:23 PM

My family has a tendency to end up eating McD’s for breakfast.

Also, I got a regional Jones Soda Holiday Pack. woot!

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 11/16/2005 9:32 PM

Before I participate with the survey, I have 2 things to say. 1st-Thanks for another jukebox.
2nd-On one of the other blogs people were discussing Matt being apart of the I LOVE THE 80′s shows. Fair enough but NOW VH1 HAS GONE TOO FAR AND ARE RIPPING OFF X-E DIRECTLY WITH:I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS. I know Matt doesn’t have the market cornered on the holidays (yet…) but c’mon!! Anyone else feel my rage?

Christmas traditions: Used to go to Hardee’s before we got our tree when I was a kid. Lately though, Mrs. Manimal are trying to get our own feel. E.Claire will probably help out a lot. VERY EXCITIED!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 11/16/2005 9:39 PM

Oh, I see. So given two equally viable interpretations of the same dream, you just automatically gravitate towards the one that suggests that you’re not sexually attracted to aquatic mammals? Awfully convenient, if you ask me.

Getting back on topic, reading some of these entries reminded me that some people actually open all their presents on Christmas day. In my family, starting when I was about eight years old, we always open one present apiece every Sunday of Advent. Then on Christmas, we open our "Santa" presents, as well as whatever’s left in our stockings. Like chocolate oranges. Because, you know, our parents are brats who can’t wait for Christmas any more than we can. Heh.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 11/16/2005 9:41 PM

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 at 8:16 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.