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Christmas candies & the dolphin dream.

Dream Diary: I have no idea where this one came from, but it feels like it had to have some special meaning that some dream dictionary will be able to explain to me. Apparently, I had purchased, or inherited, or otherwise obtained...a live dolphin. A huge motherfucking dolphin, more gregarious than Flipper, shinier than silver, who swam to and fro in this big manmade ditch in front of my old house. I loved this dolphin. Because of the nature of dreams and how the relativity of positions and whatnot didn't apply, whatever that means, I was able to chill out with my dolphin as he swam around, but never actually get wet myself. Then someone -- I don't know who, but someone official -- told me that the watery ditch wasn't proper for the dolphin, and that I'd either have to give him up or spend the cash needed for an adequate tank. Realizing that I didn't have that kind of money, I looked at the dolphin and realized that he had to go. Then I woke up. Whenever the fun gets spoiled in my dreams, I wake up. I guess that's okay.

I'm digging this. Christmas Christmas, everywhere, and I've managed to keep myself in check. I'm not blowing my wad with overexcitement before December, and for me, this is a major triumph. Phase 2 of the plan entails me making sure I spread out my remaining vacation days from work adequately enough to not lose the season in a sea of God damned Dora commercials. That said, it's been nice. The Christmas music's been nice. Going to Best Buy and seeing the little special area for holiday-related DVDs has been nice. Thinking about how the apartment we're moving into soon will enable us to have a real dining room for next Christmas is nice. As I write this, Nat's Chestnuts came on the Jukebox. That's nice, too.

I'm also digging all of the new candy, which in some cases isn't so much "new" as it is "back for another shot," but whatever, it's candy with snowflake-drenched packaging, and I'll never fall out of love with that. Shown above are just four of the many things I've picked up recently, including medallion-shaped Nestle Crunch and Butterfinger bars, marked with Santa Claus Is Coming To Town graphics, not just on the packaging, but also on the chocolate discs. York's Peppermint Snowflake just feels right, as nobody has ever eaten a Peppermint Patty in the history of Peppermint Patties and not thought of snow. Finally, Russell Stover's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Jingle Bell is good, but not good enough to warrant a name that takes 45 seconds to type. Click here to see the candies opened and mutilated.

Survey: What are some of your more personal holiday traditions? I know you eat dinner with your family, I know you get presents, I know you try to watch Charlie Brown and your local tree lighting ceremony. But what's some of the more personal ones? One of mine is the Christmas season Sunday newspaper scouring, a ritual that begins the first weekend of November. I just scour the circulars that come with the Sunday papers for anything Christmassy, from Target catalogues with a bunch of red ribbon graphics to one-page offers for ceramic angels with "HOLIDAY" etched over their asses. Your turn.

For more information about dung beetles, click here.

Posted by Matt on 11/16/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 233 comments
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When we still lived in Topeka, my family would drive through a holiday lights display at the lake, benefitting retarded citizens. The retarded citizens didn’t design the light displays, but they were quite… creative, and some inappropriate for Christmas. For instance – a cannon that fires an explosive, a manger scene surrounded by palm trees, and a lake monster. So anytime I had a girlfriend during the holidays, had to take her through it. Anytime we had visitors from out of town, had to take em through it. All for a good Christmas chuckle. The tunnel of lights was awesome to drive through, though. Oh, tradition #2, when my grandfather was still alive, we decided to go out to eat because my mom didn’t make a Christmas dinner (not that she’s lazy, she usually does, and I’m expecting great food Thursday.) Well, only place open on Christmas day that we found was a Chinese restaurant, and that was the last Christmas spent with my last surviving grandparent. So my favorite holiday tradition, period, which I SHALL pass down to my children, is eating at a Chinese restaurant. Yeah this was a long first comment.

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous Source @ 11/21/2005 9:51 PM

Let’s see…

Christmas Eve at my aunt’s house. Lots of junk food to eat; "nutrition" consists of pizza bagels, mini corn dogs, and rolls of lunch meat. Other than that, it’s all sugar, crackers, and cheese ball. Started so that my paternal grandparents could see everyone; continued so that us cousins could see each other. They used to make us kids sing until we rebelled (some of us didn’t want to sing, others shouldn’t have been allowed to.) Now that the next generation is starting to be old enough, though, that might get inflicted on them. Presents for the little kids. Usually one item a piece for everyone else.

Every year my mother buys a set of four Christmas ornaments that are all thematically tied. One goes to each of us kids, and one for my parents. Before any of us were moved out, the tree got VERY crowded. But this way, when we did get moved out, we each had some ornaments already for our individual "first Christmas in our own place".

Every year I’d get up first, and turn on the Christmas tree lights. My brother would usually be last, and I’d try to find some obnoxious way to wake him (glass of water to the face, getting the dogs to jump on his stomach, etc.) I try to continue this by calling him on the phone at 6 am, but sometimes he’s actually up that early now.

Chestnuts roasted by MRL @ 11/22/2005 2:59 AM

we always get a real Christmas tree. my mother has a catalogue of all the ornaments so we can remember who we got them from and reminisce about old friends.

my family would always have a celebration on Christmas Eve with my Mom’s side of the family for Oma and Opa for their anniversary, Oma picked that day so her husband wouldn’t forget. as corny as it sounds, we’d eat good food and get around a piano and sing Christmas carols. last year, when Opa was too ill to come to my aunt’s house for the celebration, we made a tape of us singing. this summer he passed away, so i don’t know what’s going to happen to that tradition. anyway, that lasts until early evening, then we have to dress up nice to go to church. my parents stopped making me go regularly but if i don’t go to the Christmas sermons, Santa’s not going to come. yes, i’m 21 and we still keep up the pretense of Santa.

on Christmas Day we all get up and my father takes a picture of everyone looking sleepy / cranky in our pajamas in front of the tree. then we open presents, clean up, and get the house ready for my Mom’s relatives to come over. we then exchange those presents, eat German meats with bread, drink mimosas, and eat hot chicken salad.

in the afternoon as kids we’d spend time with our toys, now we usually nap. come evening, my parents have a fight over whether or not my Mom is going to my Dad’s relatives get-together, because one of his sister’s husbands hates her for telling his wife she should leave his cheating ass (he was listening in on a phone convo) like 15 years ago.

we go to that gathering, filled with relatives pretending they give a damn about each other, and usually overcooked prime rib or something. we exchange meaningless and sometimes amusing gifts (my uncle once gave me a second-hand set of a block puzzle that depicted a duck… when i was 14.) and usually the kids go downstairs and play video games. then we get the hell out as soon as we can after dessert, but it never feels like soon enough.

Chestnuts roasted by angsty cola @ 11/22/2005 8:15 PM

I’m late to the party!

Several traditions around our parts. First, there’s the tree. We drag out the artificial and the paint gun and color the tree. It used to be white. It has since been blue, purple, red, red, and we’re considering black this year. Decorating does not commence until the skeleton-in-the-ball is found and hanged up.

The extended family gathers on Christmas Eve for supper (but we eat supper together every night so it’s not that big a deal). During supper, we put our vote in for Best Wrapped Gift and Best Ornament (the B.W.G. title has stayed in my family for three consecutive years). Then comes Chinese Christmas at sunset ($5 gift). Then a counting game (how many jingle bells/M&M’s/tree lights are in the jar?). We then hand out gifts while commenting on unacceptable wrapping (you WILL go rewrap this gift before opening can commence!)

The next day, my mom, sister, and I open the gifts at home. If we’re feeling spirited, sister and I go see the Father for a few hours.

Personal tradition: drinking eggnog nonstop from the day it is released (1 week so far) and watching Endless Waltz and the entire LOTR trilogy.

Chestnuts roasted by Margaret @ 11/23/2005 5:41 AM

I’m later than you Margaret! :)

Our traditions include:

The same one Lori said her husband’s family has – to put the filled stockings @ the end of the beds. My brother and sister and I all sleep upstairs (my room is in the basement) and then get together early in the AM to look @ stockings.

Christmas eve, we have a ‘snacky’ dinner, rather than real food. We have smoked oysters, crackers, cheese, salami, pickles, and other little finger foods. We eat in our rec room together and just hang out.

When my mom still lived with us, we always opened one gift on Christmas eve — 99% of the time it was pajamas we would never wear.

Since I’ve been able to cook, I’ve made breakfast Christmas morning – French Toast Raphael, tonnes of bacon, juice and coffee. My arteries are screaming just thinking about it :)

Chestnuts roasted by Meagan @ 11/23/2005 4:05 PM

Remember when BC Clark did the contest on KJ103 for people to remake the jingle??? Probably not…anywho, here’s a chance to hear a version of the jingle that was the runner-up…

Go to:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=51254 – Scroll down to where it says "BC Clark – Remix for Contest" and either select MP3 or HIFI (select LOFI for 56K connections)

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 11/30/2005 10:44 AM

When I was about 7 my parents bought a coal stove. The next Christmas I started the tradition of putting coal in the bottom of my Dad’s stocking. It changes who gets it every year. Twenty years later still going. Now who ever gets coal in thier stocking? You hear of it but even the brattiest of bratty kids don’t get coal. I like that we are probably the only people who celebrate coal in a stocking. We also have the coolest stockings. My mom crocheted them 25 years ago & they are huge & stretch. Got a question does anyone else get health & beauty stuff in thier stocking? We always got shaving cream, chapstick, deoderant, shampoo ect. Candy & mints. I do the same at my home & my hubby must do the same when he fills mine. I think its better to get stuff you’ll really use.

Chestnuts roasted by pittsy776 @ 11/30/2005 5:03 PM

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