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11/09/2005: Christmas Room Spray & X-E on TV!

It’s pouring out and I couldn’t be happier about it. Pouring rain, bright lightning, thunder that I swear is trying to form of coherent beat…I LOVE it. The rain tacked on about an extra 25 minutes to my already hideously long bus ride home from work, but for what I’m experiencing now — an open window with wet wind blowing at my head — it’s totally worth it. Because storms mean holidays in some roundabout way, I couldn’t resist the temptation to steer my filthy car towards a pharmacy before heading home, because only during Christmastime can a person like me conceivably spend half an hour browsing a pharmacy.

I picked up many fine items that will be covered in this very fine blog on a regular basis between now and whenever I get sick of Christmas, but it seemed fitting for no specific reason to give the first nod to Glade’s Glistening Snow room spray. The can’s been done up all purdy with snowy pinecone graphics and whatnot, but even when I bought it, I couldn’t help remarking to the 94 yr old woman standing behind me on line that “there was no way this shit smelled like fucking snow cause snow don’t fucking smell like anything,” to which she replied, “snow smells like water.” This situation may have played out more in my head than in real life, but that’s immaterial: It doesn’t smell like “snow” at all. It doesn’t even smell like anything the part of my brain most familiar with my nose might make up as a “snowy smell.” It doesn’t even smell Christmassy!

Though it does sort of remind me of Macy*s, and Macy*s reminds me of Christmas. I hate to go all Six Degrees of Santa on your asses, but considering the 2-for-1 special price, I’m giving Glade’s holiday effort an A+ with absolutely zero notes reading “you’ll spray your eye out.”

In other news:

I don’t have an encode of it made yet, but my latest spot is a sweepstakes tying in with that Zathura flick. Note the name of the shuttle — “X-E 79.” It’s spoken in the voice-over, too. Finally snuck a reference in!

EDIT: Here, now you can download it. Video is choppy and low rent, but it’s the best I can do at the moment. You’ll get the idea.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 74 comments

Jessica Marie- You will never get to own the Salmon Soda.

Ghosted by God @ 11/10/2005 5:20 PM EST

Wow…looks like you’re out of luck, Jessica Marie. He’s a pretty reliable source.

Matt–they need more people like you in the commercials industry. That reminds me of old-school, unlike the tacky tripe you usually see on kids channels nowadays.

I sound like an old man.

Ghosted by mtrox @ 11/10/2005 5:37 PM EST

Are u kiddin me????????

Ghosted by Q @ 11/10/2005 6:08 PM EST

Tur-Duck-Hen, making the best of a freak traffic accident.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 11/10/2005 6:16 PM EST

Damn you, Matt. I just got home from work, and it is officially snowing out there right now. For the first time since last winter. It has begun. *plays Taps*

I blame it entirely on your purchase of Glistening Snow Glade spray. I’d hate you if I didn’t love you so much. :P

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/10/2005 6:29 PM EST

I’m glad you told me, God, because you’re pretty much the only one who can stop my frantic search. Perhaps this is in my best interests – I’ll probably get arrested next time I go to Giant Eagle.

Where is it snowing Nicole? You’re so lucky.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/10/2005 6:43 PM EST

That commercial is great. I especially love the astronaut’s smacking their face plates with the food. On forks, no less. Are those NASA issued "space forks"?!

Anyway, since I’ve only been reading X-E for a couple of months this is the first time I really realized what you do. Is there a bigger explaination of your job somewhere on the site? Could someone point me there?

Congrats on a great, funny, and good quality commercial.

Ghosted by Frito @ 11/10/2005 7:30 PM EST

Frito- Around the time the site was started Matt made a living by selling things on e-bay. Right now he works in the advertising department at nickelodeon. He writes commercials. Yay.

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 11/10/2005 7:44 PM EST

D. Poop – Thank you. I didn’t know if he actually worked for Nick or an independent advertising agency. Pretty cool stuff. Is there anyone who had Nickelodeon as a kid that didn’t want to work for them?? I remember spending weeks trying to figure out how to get an audition for "All That". Heh.

Ghosted by Frito @ 11/10/2005 8:12 PM EST

Jessica Marie–
…
Lucky?
…
For having snow?! Really? I’d call it the beginning of the end, but I hate winter. I especially hate winter that lasts usually from Halloween to Mother’s Day. But snow does win me over for like the week before Christmas. Then after that, it’s back to hating it.

I live in a small hamlet (that’d be smaller than a village…we’re talking cow country here) just outside of Syracuse, NY. No, I am not Upstate. I am Central. Thankyouverymuch. Though Matt would consider me Upstate. :P

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/10/2005 8:40 PM EST

squee: your snow comment made me indescribably sad. So did Norbert’s lemon comment, but for entirely different reasons.
I don’t really know what I’d do without snow. Oh, that’s right. Attend college in Texas. At least I’ll be home (and chilly) for the holidays.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 11/10/2005 9:53 PM EST

Aw, Jedoc, it’s okay. I’m a Cali girl born and raised so I don’t really miss the snow, but I do get a sort of false nostalgia for it around the holidays. You know, like that feeling people under 40 get listening to The Beatles?

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 11/10/2005 10:25 PM EST

Here in Oklahoma we get maybe a total of two weeks of snow. Most of the winter precipitation is sleet and ice so it’s a treat to get snow. In fact, I get really jealous of the Northeast when I watch MTV or something and see these people in front of these picture windows with the most beautiful white snow falling everywhere.

Ghosted by Frito @ 11/10/2005 10:43 PM EST

NICOLE: Rock on Central! Go Cortland!

Matt

Ghosted by Another Matt @ 11/10/2005 11:13 PM EST

snow is nothing to be jealous of. unless hazardous driving conditions and falling down a lot make you jealous. perhaps i’m a little bitter since i live on Mt. Washington and i’m pretty much trapped at home from november until march. and last year, it snowed on my birthday… in April. that should be illegal. but i guess it would we weird to not have snow for the holidays. i’d miss it.

Ghosted by bitchpants @ 11/11/2005 8:17 AM EST

oops, i meant "be", not "we"

Ghosted by bitchpants @ 11/11/2005 8:19 AM EST

I’ve been in Wisconsin my whole life, so I’ve gotten relatively used to the frigid winter weather. The good news is that now that I’m graduated and working I don’t have to walk to class anymore, but now I drive 20-25 minutes each way to work so I’ll have to brave the dangers of ice-covered roads. In the past couple winters though there’s beeon one or two weeks of just bitter, bitter cold where it’s physically painful to even be outside even if you’re bundled up from head to toe. Ugh.

Ghosted by Gozer @ 11/11/2005 10:47 AM EST

Gozer, I totally hear you. Last winter here in Syracuse had some unbearably cold days. As in, days where the simple act of breathing in caused my nostrils to freeze together. Not fun. Not fun at all.

Where I went to college (Oswego NY) was even worse, because it was on the shore of Lake Ontario…you haven’t lived till you’ve been practically blown to class during a lake effect snowstorm.

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/11/2005 11:02 AM EST

and you really haven’t lived until you sit through tailgating and a Steeler game when it’s literally 8 degrees outside. thank you alcohol, for giving me the illusion of warmth

Ghosted by bitchpants @ 11/11/2005 11:37 AM EST

Hahaha, bitchpants. You definitely beat my lame "winter sucks" story. :) Alcohol: it has so many uses. Try some today!

(On a completely unrelated note…Matt! Going through what I’ve missed *sniff*…and I almost went to the very same horror convention in Jersey, but alas, I did not have the fundage. To think I could have met you. Would you have charged me $20 to autograph an old package of Kool-Aid? :D )

Ghosted by Nicole @ 11/11/2005 1:18 PM EST

Snow smells like my hurt back. Yet, I do love it. You poor bastards and your pretend christmases with no snow! :P

And now, to make you feel a bit better, a Peanuts Christmas mash-up from last year…

http://www.djbc.net/mashes/djbc-reverendlinusremix.mp3

So Matt… when do the little ghosts become lil snowmen?

Ghosted by dj BC @ 11/14/2005 7:26 PM EST

Help!
I’ve also been looking for the xmas song about the "sombrero is too big"! I cannot find it anywhere, and don’t know the official name. If anybody knows please tell me. I noticed someone made reference to the Christmas Jukebox? How do I access it?

Thanks

Ghosted by Manny @ 11/21/2005 4:48 PM EST

Manny, click here.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/21/2005 7:53 PM EST

Thanks Matt!
This is awsome! Thanks a lot!

Manny

Ghosted by Manny @ 11/22/2005 3:03 PM EST

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 9th, 2005 at 8:15 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.