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The Jones Soda Holiday Pack: 2005!

Yeah, of course I was all over this. It's the second coming of a new Yuletide tradition: The Jones Soda Holiday Pack, 2005! You should remember the review of last year's edition -- this year, I've bagged up our old pal Viv and four other brave taste-testers to embark on an adventure filled with Brussels sprout soda, and herb stuffing soda, and turkey soda, and all sorts of soda that will MAKE YOU CRAZY WACKO WACKO. It's worth noting that the review reflects the national version of the 2005 Holiday Pack. There's also a rarer regional version hitting select stores this week, with even grosser flavors. I might not shoot my wad or whatever on two big Jones Soda articles in such a short period of time, but you can bet that I'll be tracking that sucker down, and when I do, you'll hear. Enjoy!

Posted by Matt on 11/06/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments

I do the "Hey Sheila! Pick you up at six?"/"Let’s make it five!" lines from "Handi-Off" pretty good. My SNL:The First 20 Years Book has pictures and scripts of the commercials, and there is a pictures of the fingers rotting off.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/08/2005 8:23 PM

yes i too was waiting a wilma betty joke. I just picked up my pack of jones but am waiting for a special occasion to partake

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 11/08/2005 10:50 PM

Just curious how sould I drink this holiday pack? Warm, cold or totally smashed? And if I am smashed, should I drink the sodas warm or cold?

Chestnuts roasted by Brad @ 11/08/2005 11:42 PM

Brad, I’d drink them sober and cold. Or is that cold and sober? Anyway, I can only imagine what "Brussels Sprout" or "Turkey and Gravy" flavored drinks would do to a stomach already full of liquor…

Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 11/09/2005 11:16 AM

Well I found the regional pack at a Super America gas station. I really wanted to buy it, but I just couldn’t spend $4 a bottle. Yeah, they want 20 bucks for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Tyr-Ant @ 11/09/2005 12:10 PM

Here in Toledo, OH they have the regional one with corn on the cob, salmon pate, pecan pie, brocolli cassarole, turkey and gravy, and cranberry. I think everyone else got the better end of the deal. I’ll take brussels sprout over brocolli soda…

Chestnuts roasted by Trisstis @ 11/09/2005 10:40 PM

Sadly, "HG" was not among the testers this year. Nice article anyway, though. Interesting office you work in, too. Looks like the back of a comic book store or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Ripplin @ 11/10/2005 1:49 AM

Okay, I tried the holiday pack with friends tonight. Here were my thoughts as I drank them:

Turkey and Gravy – Huh, kind of tastes like pureed turkey and gravy, only carbonated. I can do this.

Wild Herb Stuffing – Holy mother of god, it tastes like bile with a bit of thyme and rosemary in it.

Brussel Sprouts – Hmm, not too – Oh my sweet Jesus, it’s like I’m throwing up but it’s not stopping!

Cranberry Relish – This should be okay, right? Aww, god, it’s like medicine, and I’m still queasy after the brussel sprouts.

Pumpkin Pie – When I drank this one, so help me, I broke out in a sweat, because I was trying not to puke. It didn’t taste like pumpkin, it tasted like the liquified, carbonated essence of ROT.

As an important side note, do not give into the urge to crack one off after drinking these sodas. You’ll want to, but when I let one rip in the car on the way home, it was immediately filled with the smell of brussel sprouts. I just about ran off the road.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 11/10/2005 3:37 AM

As a side note, our bottle of brussel sprouts had a photo of a baby in a santa hat on it, crying. Truth in advertising.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 11/10/2005 3:39 AM

Kevin, that is the epitome of truth in advertising. and I should know, I have an eye for advertising.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/10/2005 3:04 PM

Did I mention I am a communications major?

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/10/2005 3:04 PM

Allison, thanks for the info! My copy is the first airing then.

Chestnuts roasted by Destro @ 11/10/2005 8:23 PM

no carbs- check
little/no sugar – check
low sodium – chee…no
seriously check the label and see how much sodium is in each bottle. Pretty much the pies(pecan and pumpkin) and cranberry are the only ones with low sodium counts.

Chestnuts roasted by Brad @ 11/12/2005 7:14 PM

no carbs- check
little/no sugar – check
low sodium – chee…no
seriously check the label and see how much sodium is in each bottle. Pretty much the pies(pecan and pumpkin) and cranberry are the only ones with low sodium counts.

Chestnuts roasted by Brad @ 11/12/2005 7:15 PM

I found the holiday pack at Target today on my little shopping spree. I laughed b/c of this topic.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/13/2005 7:51 PM

This is truly one of the highlights of the holiday season. Keep up the good work!

Chestnuts roasted by Daisy Nukem @ 11/14/2005 2:55 PM

Oh god… I think I’d rather die than drink this stuff. As curious as I am about the taste I don’t want to be scarred for life so close to the holidays.

Chestnuts roasted by Adrastia @ 11/14/2005 9:17 PM

I can get the regional pack in my area! Anyone interested?

Chestnuts roasted by Donnie Moe @ 11/15/2005 11:14 AM

I held off reading this article as I was waiting for my own tasting party and didn’t want to be tainted.

5 of us got together and tried them out. And yes Brussel Sprouts soda is awful. The worst thing I’ve ever tasted. 3/5 of us almost vomited it was so bad.

But still it was worth while, I can’t wait for next years

Chestnuts roasted by Emperor_Zorak @ 11/17/2005 12:25 PM

Okay folks! I’m fresh off a taste test of the Regional Holiday Pack and needless to say, I am not the same person I was yesterday. I’m worse but I feel as if I�ve tackled one of life biggest challenges. That being, Smoked Salmon Pate Soda. If you can drink one whole bottle of it you should get $50,000 from Fear Factor. The smell, the taste, truly awful!!! This is a one way ticket to Hell, absolutely no back. A friend was heaving after one sip of the Turkey & Gravy soda. Tastes like corn startch was added to not-flushed toilet water to make gravy. Amazingly, the Broccoli Casserole is the best of the bunch and I went back for multiple sips. The sodas do smell like what they�re supposed to be with smelly jock strap scent in there as well. These sodas have the worst possible aftertaste of anything you could possibly eat, even that aforementioned jock strap (which I have not eaten). Corn on the Cob soda tastes like nibblet juice and butter with glue paste and dirt with a bit of sugar. If you can believe it, Pecan Pie was so overpowering in smell and taste that it instantly erases any fond taste for anyone that enjoys Pecan Pie. Between four people no bottle was more than 1/16th empty. Oh, and when we tasted them they were warm which couldn�t have helped at all. So I have them in my refridgerator to savor another day. Delicious and if you ask me, well worth the purchase price! Buy it to taste it, not sell on ebay. You can say you did. Enjoy!

Chestnuts roasted by gershurd @ 11/17/2005 3:21 PM

I just saw the regoinal pack for my area- (Seattle)- I think Jones Soda wants to punish their home town- Smoked Salmon flavor- eeewwweee.

Chestnuts roasted by Cherbear @ 11/17/2005 8:41 PM

Actually, let me specifically describe the Smoked Salmon Pate Soda a bit more because I have to save you people. This soda has affected my life as we know it. I think I’m depressed because of it? Think of the horror movie that has scared you ever since you were a kid. This is much scarier than that. You will have reacurring (tastebud) nightmares from this soda. This soda is evil!

Chestnuts roasted by gershurd @ 11/17/2005 9:08 PM

I think that the most underrated SNL ad is the one with the mannequins of people breaking into your house. It just caught me so off guard when the new improved mannequin with real talking action said "i’m gonna put my evil inside you." I couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes.

"Think of the horror movie that has scared you ever since you were a kid. This is much scarier than that."

No. Nothing is scarier than "Cocoon."

Chestnuts roasted by BuckoSama @ 11/17/2005 11:13 PM

I’msoexcitedI’msoexcitedImsoexcited
Well, you get the idea…
My photo is the christmas cracker on the wild herb stuffing bottle in the taste test!
I’msodepressedI’msodepressedetcetc
Holiday packs are apparently only available at Target. I live in Canada. Target doesn’t. I can’t see my bottles on the shelf. Hell, I’d never actually TASTE the stuff, but I’d love to see it… maybe hold it… caress it… That’s MY pic!

Chestnuts roasted by Sheila @ 11/18/2005 10:14 PM

I bought it last night a Target. I will have my whole family try this crap with no warning on Thanksgiving. I’m psyched already. 10.99 seems like a lot for some shit-flavored sodas but if they’re as bad as everyone says I can’t wait.

Chestnuts roasted by Another guy named Matt @ 11/21/2005 12:56 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 6th, 2005 at 11:20 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.