Look up.

As you can see, we're gearing up for this year's Advent & Advert Calendar features.  (Thanks to Brian for working on the design, even though he's a miserable Kraut and I hate hate hate him.)  For those who don't know, I LOVE CHRISTMAS and intend to ostracize everyone who doesn't celebrate it by writing about it over and over and over again, or until I get drained in late December.  This year, we're doing things a little bit differently.  Okay, I admit it: We're doing things more simply, because I want to make sure I don't overextend myself and hit a point where you come here and find NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!

In other words, for X-E's 2005 Christmas season, I've decided to keep everything located here, on the blorgh.  The decision was pretty easy, since the holidays have become a busy and generally good time for the blog — lots of lurkers come out of the virtual woodwork to contribute, and because of all of the many wonderful holiday-themed items I seem to pick up by the minute, there are usually more new posts during December than during any other month on the site.  So, let's make this place one big ol' month-long holiday bash!

The blog will be homebase for this year's Advent and Advert Calendars, and if you don't know what those are, I guess you haven't been reading the site very long.

I felt dumb for skipping out on Black Friday as I'm probably in the minority who enjoys the insanity, so tonight, we went out for a bit of Black Saturday, which is kind of like Black Friday, only with half of the big sales and half of the long lines.  Still were plenty of people out there, though.  Toys 'R' Us wasn't anywhere near as packed as I had expected it to be, but the customers who were there had evidently been brought to insanity by the weekend of toy hunting.  It wasn't so much the yelling — that was expected.  Moreover, people would pick stuff up, look at it, realize they didn't want it and literally throw it to the ground.  The place was already a mess, so I guess everyone was past the point of giving a fuck.

Best Buy was much busier.  I needed to get a new digital camera, but fortunately for me, I have no concept of money or bargains or rights or wrongs when it comes to such things, and because the purchase counter for digital cameras was wholly separate from the lines people needed to get on to buy anything else, I managed to walk in and out of there with a new camera in less than ten minutes.  The "normal" line looped around itself a few times like a steaming pile of gorilla shit, and it was amazing to see just how many folks were willing to put up with the wait just to buy a DVD or two.

Finally, the woman persuaded me to take her to the arts and crafts store, which as some of you will recall from an earlier entry is a point of some contention between the two of us.  There was a 50,000 dollar set of pencils she wanted, and she had a 50% off coupon that was only good for today, so it was a case of either dealing with it or hearing about the loss of this golden opportunity until 2008.  On the upside, the entire store smelled like a giant cinnamon candle.

Thanksgiving's over, Black Friday's over, and across the street, I see suspicious lights on my neighbor's bushes.  Christmas is in the air, and we're all smitten with Santa again.  I'm in the process of moving, so my material enjoyment this year must come by way of more perishable items; thankfully, there are plenty of those to go around.  Up above is the Marshmallow Peeps Christmas Tree Decorating Kit, a merrier spin on the Halloween version I reviewed during the Countdown in October.  Instead of orange pumpkin Peeps, this time you get green Christmas trees, along with a tube of red icing that lets you go all ho ho and stuff.  Click here to see the kit packaged, and tell me you wouldn't part with two bucks for something this belligerently Yuletide.

It's Saturday night.  Who's with me?

I chose to skip, but looking at the circulars…boy, there were some mighty fine deals out there for Black Friday.  On the other hand, during my choosing-to-skippage, I've read at least a dozen articles online about fights breaking out on lines at stores.  Hilarious.  Anyone get out there today?  Post your experiences, and purchases!

And here you thought I forgot about you.  I totally did not — I just had zero time and hated every second of having zero time, but the review is done, at the zero hour.  Get your Turkey Day Hooray on with the two page review of the 1989 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, starring ALF!  The Joker!  Spider-Man!  Ronald McDonald!  MELBA MOORE!  Yayyyayy!

Fessing up, the review was originally intended to be much longer, but time wasn't on my side, and it got to the point tonight of either having to trim the turkey fat or do my big blogpology post about how woe is me and how I wasn't going to provide a parade review this year.  I think you'd rather have the two pages.  They're a good two pages, full of fun and video clips, and did I mention ALF?  I've included a few downloads of commercials that aired during the parade in the review, but here's a few more…

I don't know how many of you are around this Thanksgiving, but if you're here, have a good one, and if you live somewhere that isn't celebrating anything today, whooooops.  I'm thankful for many things this year, and that very much includes the lot of you who choose to make this site a stop, to read and to join in the discussions, to have and to hold, yadda.  You're all great, unless it's the wine and coffee and need for sleep talking.  I leave you with this:

It's gonna be a good Thanksgiving.

Wow, that's some kickass string of replies you guys put together for the last survey.  We usually don't see that kind of holiday jubilation until like, the second week of December.  I think you deserve a prize.

This is, of course, the All Day Saturday Thread, which is a lot like the Saturday Night Thread, only posted earlier.  Same rules apply.  NO fishing.

Survey: Okay, we've heard some of your great holiday traditions in the last thread, and Jesus Christ did they ever fill me with vicarious joy.  Now, let's hear the opposite.  Let's hear your sucky holiday stories.

Dream Diary: I have no idea where this one came from, but it feels like it had to have some special meaning that some dream dictionary will be able to explain to me.  Apparently, I had purchased, or inherited, or otherwise obtained…a live dolphin.  A huge motherfucking dolphin, more gregarious than Flipper, shinier than silver, who swam to and fro in this big manmade ditch in front of my old house.  I loved this dolphin.  Because of the nature of dreams and how the relativity of positions and whatnot didn't apply, whatever that means, I was able to chill out with my dolphin as he swam around, but never actually get wet myself.  Then someone — I don't know who, but someone official — told me that the watery ditch wasn't proper for the dolphin, and that I'd either have to give him up or spend the cash needed for an adequate tank.  Realizing that I didn't have that kind of money, I looked at the dolphin and realized that he had to go.  Then I woke up.  Whenever the fun gets spoiled in my dreams, I wake up.  I guess that's okay.

I'm digging this.  Christmas Christmas, everywhere, and I've managed to keep myself in check.  I'm not blowing my wad with overexcitement before December, and for me, this is a major triumph.  Phase 2 of the plan entails me making sure I spread out my remaining vacation days from work adequately enough to not lose the season in a sea of God damned Dora commercials.  That said, it's been nice.  The Christmas music's been nice.  Going to Best Buy and seeing the little special area for holiday-related DVDs has been nice.  Thinking about how the apartment we're moving into soon will enable us to have a real dining room for next Christmas is nice.  As I write this, Nat's Chestnuts came on the Jukebox.  That's nice, too.

I'm also digging all of the new candy, which in some cases isn't so much "new" as it is "back for another shot," but whatever, it's candy with snowflake-drenched packaging, and I'll never fall out of love with that.  Shown above are just four of the many things I've picked up recently, including medallion-shaped Nestle Crunch and Butterfinger bars, marked with Santa Claus Is Coming To Town graphics, not just on the packaging, but also on the chocolate discs.  York's Peppermint Snowflake just feels right, as nobody has ever eaten a Peppermint Patty in the history of Peppermint Patties and not thought of snow.  Finally, Russell Stover's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Jingle Bell is good, but not good enough to warrant a name that takes 45 seconds to type.  Click here to see the candies opened and mutilated.

Survey: What are some of your more personal holiday traditions?  I know you eat dinner with your family, I know you get presents, I know you try to watch Charlie Brown and your local tree lighting ceremony.  But what's some of the more personal ones?  One of mine is the Christmas season Sunday newspaper scouring, a ritual that begins the first weekend of November.  I just scour the circulars that come with the Sunday papers for anything Christmassy, from Target catalogues with a bunch of red ribbon graphics to one-page offers for ceramic angels with "HOLIDAY" etched over their asses.  Your turn.
[more]