X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

The Grim Reaper was a Toys “R” Us Kid.

Did the usual Halloween store-hop routine last night. It felt even more Halloweeny in the rain. Party City had its usual gamut of good, spooky stuff, though nothing stood out at me particularly as a must-have, much less a must-cover-on-the-site. It was more interesting to just stand around and observe the families trying to pick their Halloween costumes off the "Costume Wall," and yes, Party City actually calls it that. Basically, instead of putting all of the costumes out, they put pictures of all the costumes out. You get the sense that this puts the poor workers through absolute Hell, because what might seem like an interesting costume on paper, literally, doesn't always turn out that way when some disgruntled worker throws a nylon bag full of clown pants at you. It was just absolute madness at the place. Kids screaming, parents cursing, bombs asplodin'. Should mention that the Scream killer costume still manages to be a huge hit. What is it about that thing?

Anyway, I couldn't be in that store for fifteen minutes and not buy something, and while we're waiting on a very long, very slow moving line full of very ticked off people and very irritating children, I spot it. It's right by the register, and it really needed to be, because only in those brief moments before you hand money over to the lady with the name tag could you possibly commit to buying such a thing. I proudly present...the "Pocket Screamer!"

There's a few different versions available, but they've all got ghastly features, long robes, occult accessories, lite-up eyes and Norfin Troll hair. Fuck yes. At six bucks each, they're twice as much money as most would deem acceptable -- at least until you squeeze them and hear the loudest mothertruckin' bloodcurdling scream to ever pour forth from a five inch action figure. It's really loud. Squeezing the figure with my window open, I swear to God, the people across the street got that look on their face. The one that says, "I am hearing a crime and I am the only one hearing it and I am about to be called upon to do something heroic." Then the scream stopped, so they just went inside.

The Halloween Countdown rages on and tries to keep steam while everyone in the world, including myself, can't help thinking about Christmas. Got a good one for yeee today -- a Toys "R" Us Halloween commercial from 1980, complete with animated Geoffrey and a crappy old Yoda costume. Yessss. Review includes video download, of course.

Trying to clean out the Hallo shit I bought but lack the necessary drive to create a full article out of, here's a bunch of baddies I picked up at a dollar store a few weeks back. Simply referred to as "Stretchable Horror Monsters," the line is nothing if not thorough. I'm particularly fond of the Frankenstein Monster's casual expression, but the fact that Witchy Wanda is the only one who can stand under her own power does give her an extra point. See below.

Posted by Matt on 10/09/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 87 comments

You’remakin me wantto get up and head right for the nearest TRU, which is now conveniently closer than where it was. Still, I miss it’s older location in the ghetto area of Sacramento. There was just something about the nasty location and sleazy layout (which was later updated) from my childhood. But still…MUST GO TO TRU!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 10/10/2005 1:59 PM


J-Dog, I actually posted about the Smurfs ad in the Saturday thread. Pretty crazy stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/10/2005 2:05 PM


The Ben Cooper/Collegeville smock costumes are the main reason I connect the smell of vinyl to Hallowe’en. No matter what the time of year, when I smell inflatable toys like the giant hammers from the state fair, or beach balls fresh out of the package, anything of that type, I flash back to the Autumns of my childhood. And old TRU ads. Maybe I’ll stock up on them if I ever build my Hallowe’en store.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash don't wanna grow up, he's a dollar-store kid @ 10/10/2005 2:13 PM


Great article. Really fun read and has inspired me to do more Halloween stuff. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Jake @ 10/10/2005 2:29 PM


I really miss the old TRU. It simply isn’t the same anymore. I guess part of the reason is that the toys themselves have changed, but TRU has gone from being a Magical place to a place with one aisle of action figures and a BILLION "elearning" or childhood crap toys. At least mine still has some of the old "World of Nintendo" banners up…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 10/10/2005 2:31 PM


I never got any Ben Cooper costumes. Mine were usually made from various accesories that were either purchased or already owned by me, clothes that I had or borrowed, make-up, or a combination.

One of my favorites would have to have been my Invisible Man costume. I wore a trench coat, a cloth strap around my head, gloves, and shades. I won a costume contest at a Halloween party with that thing. Don’t remember what I won, though. I think it might’ve been candy, which was already being freely distributed at the party.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 10/10/2005 2:33 PM


Jedoc – that was way too funny and I about spit Pitch Black all over my monitor. :) Stupid or not, it still made me laugh :D

Weird… I have a bagel practically every day, soon after I wake up. Blueberry with a sprinkle of raw sugar. Tastey.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 10/10/2005 2:42 PM


Click on my name to read about the fire that destroyed AArdman studios, home to Wallace & Grommit. I know in perspective to the earthquake that just occurred its really not that huge, but depressing none the less.

Chestnuts roasted by bloodybrilliantme @ 10/10/2005 2:49 PM


Cameron T.- You are so right! They now have all these retarded educational toys. Since when has anyone ever seen a kid who wants toys for the sake of learning anything? Never. It reminds me of the Christmas when my Mom got my brother and I a buncha educational toys from "Discovery Toys." There were some okay toys from that company, but most of them just sucked.

But still, that’s cool that your TRU still has "World of Nintendo" banners up. Being an avid NES worshipper, I miss the days of such things.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 10/10/2005 3:12 PM


Man, those smock costumes sucked!!!! Wonderful. Kids always had those in elementary school. This costume obviously pre-dates the "I wanna be a Toys R Us Kid" campaign. I also like how the tape had a Chicken McNugget commercial with a kid w/an afro says "Never, never, never" before the tape cuts off. Great stuff.

BTW, I found an Old Navy Christmas Ad from 1998 on a tape of "Saturday Night Live" eps, in which Morgan Fairchild and Co. sing the praises of "Old Navy Performance Fleece." I also found (on my 1999-2000 SNL season tape) a 10-10-220 ad w/sold-out spokesperson Dennis Miller in a movie theater w/a kid that I swear is his. The kid honestly looks like him! In addition, I found the Derek Jeter Skippy Doubly Delicious commercial on the same tape. Man, I need a 2nd VCR to tape all this stuff for possible review on the website. Darn it!

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 10/10/2005 3:23 PM


My bad, squee. That is pretty crazy stuff!

Chestnuts roasted by J-Dog @ 10/10/2005 4:00 PM


The one and only Ben Cooper costume I ever owned was a horrific Pac-Man costume for Halloween of 1987, I was in the 1st grade. My mom bought it for me at the Toys R Us across from the Staten Island mall (still there- remodeled- no wooden colored planks anymore)….Anyways, it was such a horrible excuse for a Pac-Man (ie- unrecognizable yellow plastic mask that cut into the side of your face, flammable smock with the Pac playing field and logo), that I only wore it for my class’ Halloween party, and subsequently spent the actual Halloween day of 1987 as Dracula.

Chestnuts roasted by James Anthony KTU @ 10/10/2005 4:41 PM


I can’t believe what I am hearing. Yeah the Ben Cooper costumes may have been sub par but I have a lot of fond memories of going to the PIC N SAVE and seeing all of the costumes in the big display. I still think they are cool even though they were just a smock. Simplicity was the watchword.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 10/10/2005 4:51 PM


Matt, any chance we can see a picture of you in the Cousin Ralph suit. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Texican @ 10/10/2005 4:56 PM


On the topic at hand, I totally agree with manimal. Because I,m in my 30′s the Ben Cooper costumes were all I had to choose from, that or a homemade costume which made me look like a wuss. I can’t remember being more excited than being able to buy a Ben Cooper costume as a kid.

Chestnuts roasted by Texican @ 10/10/2005 5:00 PM


I never saw the Pac-Man costume close up, or I would have stole it right off whoever was wearing one. There was even a smock costume of Tempest, I hear. Unless it was the monster on the cabinet, how in the bloody three-process Technicolor Hell do you make a Tempest costume? A yellow plastic-coated wire hanger might be a start, I guess.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/10/2005 5:12 PM


I just bought a big flat of Halloween Hi-C juice boxes. I’m convinced the Great Pumpkin himself packaged these things. The cardboard flat is bright orange and the juice boxes have pumpkins and monsters. It was the kind of Halloween purchase thay actually made me proud of the manufacturer. Anyone else see these yet?

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 10/10/2005 5:27 PM


Ryane: Raisin cinnamon bagel, butter toasted. And let me tell you, it’s not easy being a bagel-eater this deep in the American Frontier. Krispy Kreme is a minor, greasy god here.
All this talk about TRU is making me sad. I didn’t set foot in one until my senior year of high school, and that was only to get kicked out for riding the Big Wheels at unsafe speeds. For me, the Sears Wishbook was the only link to the world of toys. Well, that and the local Alcos. But that place smells like old people and fish.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 10/10/2005 5:32 PM


Carri — yup, you’ll see them this week!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/10/2005 5:55 PM


Jedoc – We don’t have a Krispy Kreme here at all, and our Dunkin Donuts actually shut down, and we just got a new one like a year or so ago, maybe? Oh wait, I think they sell Krispy Kreme’s at our Sam’s Club, not sure. I’m a vegan, like Mike. Now, we do have this awesome little place called Krumpe’s. It’s this little hole in the wall (you actually have to go into an alleyway behind the place to park) and they are only open from about 8pm-2am or some crazy time, but when I used to eat donuts… They were PURE heaven. Warm, soo soft, and slightly crunchy … oh my … *wipes drool* I honestly don’t know how any donut could possibly be better.

Cinnamon raisin bagels are my 2nd choice! ;)

Did anyone have a "Kiddie City" toy store?? We had one in the next town over, and I swear, that place rocked harder than TRU. I think their mascot was a Kangaroo. Oh and we had a "Juvenile" too. Those were the days…

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 10/10/2005 7:23 PM


Lionel Kiddie City f’n rocked. Red tag sales galore.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/10/2005 7:24 PM


I remember when i was 2-4 yrs old, (born april 14, 1976), trick or treating in L.A., i was the Alien, form Alien, and i tried saying hello to one of my fellow trick or treaters, and his eyeballs opened up SOOO big i thought they were gonna pop out, screamed and ran away from me. my dad (god bless him), and mom waited for the little kid to run far enough away before they laughed their asses off. Good times!

Chestnuts roasted by Oliver Obelisk -nevarrr gonna stop being a kid- @ 10/10/2005 7:30 PM


btw, i was laughing my ass off at that commercial, the look at the geoff’s intro to, and then the Skeleton doin the I Need Space/ ooga booga dance! that commercial came out whe i was 4! WOOOT! i mean, BOOOOOt! was that commercail directed by Dennis Hopper, or Timothy Leary, or burroughs, or -gasp- the great pumpkin??? Lovely that they TELL you that they can be used "for Trick or Treating", no i thought i was supposed to scare people with big bird, eh. Oh, and on the Maks+Plastic aapron make costume Star Wars front, i believe i was Vader first, then pilot Luke Skywalker the next year or during the same year at different ‘Oween esque event. Darth FIRST!

Chestnuts roasted by oliver obelisk @ 10/10/2005 8:13 PM


I remember when the Kiddie City in my area was shutting down we pocketed several Atari 2600 games for a dollars each!!! Provided my brothers and I made a mere allowance each week (i think i made 50 cents a week at the time) we walked off with some classic games like MIdnight Magic which I still play. I always loved TRU because they were closer than any other store and had much better prices than Children’s Palace/Child World which got run into the ground by TRU. Shit even the small toy store in the mall next to it, Circus World, had better prices than Children’s Palace. I remember how I thought it was so shady that Children’s Palace charged $66 for Dragon Dragon for NES. That started my disdain for them. TRU charged like $55 for it and I loved them for that. Oh how I miss the "World of Nintendo."

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/10/2005 8:20 PM


Smock costume? No way! My mom was (and is) an excellent artist and seamstress, so even when my costumes weren’t imaginative (I was Alice In Wonderland, a fairy, a queen, and a cowgirl, among others, in my youth), they were at least well-made.

Nate, my sister did the Invisible Man one year. She wore what you wore…but went so far as to really wrap her head and hands and even carry an invisible "dog" (made of wire, fabric, and sequins for the "collar"). "Fido" was a family joke for years. ; 0 )

I’m trying to cut down on junk, so while we do have Dunkin’ Donuts down here in South Jersey and most grocery stores sell Krispy Kremes (though there are no actual stores), I haven’t had a donut in ages. The new whole-grain English muffins Thomas put out a while back are really good, especially the multi-grain.

I never went in Lionel Kiddie City, but I fondly recall seeing their commercials on the Philly TV stations. "At Lionel Kiddie City, we turn that frown…" (kangaroo hops on frown) "upside-down!"

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 10/10/2005 8:52 PM


Add A New Comment!