Did the usual Halloween store-hop routine last night. It felt even more Halloweeny in the rain. Party City had its usual gamut of good, spooky stuff, though nothing stood out at me particularly as a must-have, much less a must-cover-on-the-site. It was more interesting to just stand around and observe the families trying to pick their Halloween costumes off the “Costume Wall,” and yes, Party City actually calls it that. Basically, instead of putting all of the costumes out, they put pictures of all the costumes out. You get the sense that this puts the poor workers through absolute Hell, because what might seem like an interesting costume on paper, literally, doesn’t always turn out that way when some disgruntled worker throws a nylon bag full of clown pants at you. It was just absolute madness at the place. Kids screaming, parents cursing, bombs asplodin’. Should mention that the Scream killer costume still manages to be a huge hit. What is it about that thing?
Anyway, I couldn’t be in that store for fifteen minutes and not buy something, and while we’re waiting on a very long, very slow moving line full of very ticked off people and very irritating children, I spot it. It’s right by the register, and it really needed to be, because only in those brief moments before you hand money over to the lady with the name tag could you possibly commit to buying such a thing. I proudly present…the “Pocket Screamer!”
There’s a few different versions available, but they’ve all got ghastly features, long robes, occult accessories, lite-up eyes and Norfin Troll hair. Fuck yes. At six bucks each, they’re twice as much money as most would deem acceptable — at least until you squeeze them and hear the loudest mothertruckin’ bloodcurdling scream to ever pour forth from a five inch action figure. It’s really loud. Squeezing the figure with my window open, I swear to God, the people across the street got that look on their face. The one that says, “I am hearing a crime and I am the only one hearing it and I am about to be called upon to do something heroic.” Then the scream stopped, so they just went inside.
The Halloween Countdown rages on and tries to keep steam while everyone in the world, including myself, can’t help thinking about Christmas. Got a good one for yeee today — a Toys “R” Us Halloween commercial from 1980, complete with animated Geoffrey and a crappy old Yoda costume. Yessss. Review includes video download, of course.
Trying to clean out the Hallo shit I bought but lack the necessary drive to create a full article out of, here’s a bunch of baddies I picked up at a dollar store a few weeks back. Simply referred to as “Stretchable Horror Monsters,” the line is nothing if not thorough. I’m particularly fond of the Frankenstein Monster’s casual expression, but the fact that Witchy Wanda is the only one who can stand under her own power does give her an extra point. See below.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
You’remakin me wantto get up and head right for the nearest TRU, which is now conveniently closer than where it was. Still, I miss it’s older location in the ghetto area of Sacramento. There was just something about the nasty location and sleazy layout (which was later updated) from my childhood. But still…MUST GO TO TRU!!!