The X-Entertainment Blog!

09/28/2005: GIANT SQUID FOUND!

A couple of people who remembered my fascination with the cryptozoo e-mailed in to tell me about the recently spotted giant squid, and now that I look, some of the bloggers here were talking about it, too. Being a squid nut, I’m impressed by the shots, but by my personal definition, a 26′ squid is not a giant squid. Call me when you get a 90-footer, crazy Japanese people. Sure, the evidence to support squids that big is a bit looser than a genuine video of the thing doing its squiddy dance, but of all the members of the cryptozoo, the super super super-sized squid is the one I have the most faith in. Squids really have no reason to ever stop growing, and considering where they live, it’s very possible that a certain lucky few could attain sizes the likes of which no scientist with any interest in his/her reputation would ever suggest. My career isn’t on the line, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there are squids in the ocean at least four miles long. If you want someone to say that squids will volunteer their services on dry land in an effort to grieve the murder of their young, talk to Peter Benchley.

Shut up, it’s not late. It’s still September 28th, and the Halloween Countdown entry for September 28th takes a look at the “That’s Gross” toy collection — a series of familiar Halloween toys repackaged under a single banner, all sold for the low price of a buck each. Everything from brains in slime to flies in slime to slimy tongues. And an eyeball that lights up. Enjoy. We’re getting damn close to October.

PS, I still think Tummi’s Halloween Jukebox beats any radio station in the galaxy.

I once went to the Museum of Natural History in DC and eagerly awaited seeing the giant squid…

That giant squid looks just like my creepy, old geometry teacher in high school. And that’s NOT an exaggeration.

Also, I liked the squishy octopus toy best. It makes me wish my wacky wall walkers had cute little blue eyes instead of the same blankness that I see in the faces of my 3rd graders. "No Child Left Behind," indeed!

Okay, so technically, that little green octopus has black eyes, but in my world, all octopuses (octopi?) would have blue contact lenses.

And on that note, I think someone has laced my cider with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds… ‘Night, ‘night from the crazy Beanner

I love Target. If I’m in a crappy mood I just go in there and wander around awhile and come out with lighter pockets and spirits.
The Yucky Ball is grossing me out from here, but it’s also strangely cute. I see now you picked up two, which opens up twice the fun potentialities.

The giant squid seems less cool because they are eaten by sperm whales. The giant squid must eat the whales to prove themselves!

If I had that fake tongue I would have it hang out of my mouth all day long and it’s no suprise to me that Target has this great stuff. It seems to me that out of all the stores Target always has the most Halloween stuff. Trandoshan Tongue

It’s kind of a gyp that the hand and the foot are shrunken down to the same size as all the face parts. I guess these toy makers could claim that they’re leprechaun feet and hands, but that’s just covering their tracks.

Oh yeah. Target’s a great place for that kind of stuff. One opened up finally here in Ithaca, and now i can’t imagine living without it.

It’s where I got a box of all three of the monster cereals yesterday, Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry.

Okay, I’m stupid, but is there any way at all to listen to that juke box on dialup?

They did identify a collosal squid a while back. It’s a different (and bigger) species than the Giant Squid, and has hooks on it’s tentacles instead of suckers.

I really feel disapointed about that watery slime. The best slime ever was the Nickelodian Gak! Perfect consistency and container for all your fart noise needs.

Man, now I miss the cryptozoo again, Matt! I thought that was a cool addition to the site.

Yeahhh, I have that Yucky Ball. I even let the Psychology teacher use it to demonstrate a brain injury. I grab it by one of the ends and flap it around while the kids are taking notes or whatever. Never a dull moment.

What is it about Target that seems to elevate it above Wal-Mart and K-Mart? I don’t know about everyon else, but Target’s Loads better than the other Big Box stores.

Am I the only when that thought when I saw the closeup of the GITD slimy eyeballs, they looked like breast implants with something melted inside?

I’m pretty amazed by the sight of Stretchy Spider. I have a cheap rubber spider on my desk (purchased at least 20 years ago) who is the exact doppelganger of Stretchy Spider. Same mould, same markings - the lot. Good to know that my rubber spider’s bastard offspring are still going strong even after all these years!

Is it just my Target, or do they not have adult sized costumes this year? That’s not cool.

Cameron: Target is better than Wal-mart and the big K because they don’t openly advertise directly to white trash. Not to say the omnious WT can’t be found in Target, but I don’t think it’s their main "focus group". I’ll still make a run to Wal-mart now and then, but it’s at 2am when my south of the border friends are there.

:[ <- Smiley Vampire

I don’t think my Target has everything Halloween out yet. I even roamed around the toothache inducing candy ailse, and found some pretty cool stuff, but didn’t buy any. I have a cavity

But yeah, the Halloween decorations are … well, they are kinda slack right now - I’m HOPING and praying they get more in and fast.

I just got home from work a bit ago, and I put out some Freddy and Jason accessory packs. I think they might have been very very similar to the ones you made your … nephew was it? try on last year, Matt.

The Jason pack had a very bloody machete in it - I can’t believe we actually carry it. We don’t carry fake cowboy guns, but bloodied knives? Aww yeah.

I don’t know if any of you care about this, but I saw the Tastykake Pumpkin pies for the first time this year yesterday. They are only released in the fall. G’damn I love those things.

So has anyone seen the gargantuan Bat Peeps anywhere? I’ve been trying to find one ever since I saw it on the Countdown, but no luck. I refuse to believe thatmy town, crappy as it is, has completely forsaken the Marshmallow Bat of Marshie Doom, so I’ve concluded that I’m simply looking in the wrong spot.
Also, I haven’t been able to find Pitch Black II at Walmart, two grocery stores, or three Stop’n'Robs.
Texas sucks ass.

Value Village has an awesome Halloween section. I was there a few days ago they had a giant zombie head for 100 bucks. It looked like something you would see at a Rob/White Zombie concert.

Well forget Target, I live in the Texas-Mexican border, and in Mexico there is so much "Dia De Los Muertos" shit one could go crazy with it. Oh by the way for those of you who do not know spanish "dia de los muertos" is translated into "The day of the Dead". Mexicos version of halloween.

I was so happy to see you review Target’s Halloween dollar section, and all the squishy, gross stuff it contains. I’m a Target employee, and the minute I saw what we had in the dollar section for Halloween, one of my first thoughts honestly was "X-Entertainment has GOT to review this!" I’m a big fan of this page…

Just today my Target is getting halloween(-like??) I looked o ntheir website and I cant find that soda… Target is kinda selling themselvesd out for the damn costumes…

How many of those cryptozoo things did you do? I can only find the yeti post when I do a search.

kidneyboy, you can go to http://x-entertainment.com/halloweenjukemystery2/ and download the songs instead of streaming them. It will still take forever to get them, but you’ll only have to do it once.

When I lived in Columbus, Target only had "upscale" fancy looking Halloween stuff like copper bats and metal pumpkin sculptures, and it was only in like 1 aisle. So if its improved I’m gonna check out the Pittsburgh ones. My wife is so upset cause our apartment looks like a damn haunted house with all the decorations INSIDE for MY enjoyment.

Tim, there were several. Try "Bigfoot".
Are there any celebrators of Dia de los Muertos around, or do most of us just stick to the devil-y candy night?

Yeah, I’ve done one on Bigfoot, the giant squid, and I think there’s something on Globsters hiding somewhere in the blog archives.

haha @ "Luckily, I circumvent such "why me" thoughts with my fully realized, fully formed miniature brain."

Pictures of giant squids are great and all, but the real benefit to mankind will be when swimmers in SeaWorld force them to jump through hoops and act like surfboards. God forbid anyone starts wearing squid skin jackets, stupid activists.

Speaking of octupi and squids, I heard somewhere that they’re extremely smart. Any truth to this?

I know more about an ock’s range of smarts, and yes, they are quite intelligent. An octopus also has a very unique way of living — "mannerisms," if you would call them that — that make it appear even more intelligent than it actually is. Which isn’t to say that they’re not smart, but for some reason, finding an animal that knows how to make its room messy makes it seem like more of a genius.

I’ll tell ya what squids won’t do: invade Iraq for no reason at all. They’re definately smarter than W, and the one in the video is more alive than Cheney, as a matter of fact Cheney could use some of those gooey body parts and W could use the brain, except he’d probably choke on it. I wish a giant super squid would attack air force one. There’s my diatribe for the day.

Texican: dia de los muertos" is translated into "The day of the Dead". Mexicos version of halloween.

I’m not an expert or anything (outside of many years of Spanish class), but it’s a bit of a stretch to say that the Dia De Los Muertos is Mexico’s version of Halloween. If memory serves, it’s more about honoring/having a transdimentional party with your dead relatives. Halloween’s more about just going crazy with monsters and evil stuff. I guess both celebrations deal with death but that’s about the only similarity.

Most of those items look fairly tame, all but the maggot ball. Maggots are always disgusting. A big fluffy stuffed animal maggot would still be gross.
In my area, there are a few targets in every town it seems. Growing up my mother and my friend’s mothers would call it Tar-JAY, (I don’t know how to type that sound, think French) I suppose in an effort to sound more upscale. Back then they didn’t hold the best of the cheap store title. It was pretty much all there was. We didn’t have Wal-Mart then. I hate Wal-Mart. It smells.

Nothing like any kind of holiday-themed cheap crap. Now, just to give my fellow poster-toasters a quick Hallow-hint, buy a couple bags of pinata filler to mix into your candy this year. Looks good, and as Fearless Leader has pointed out, kids get all crazy-go-nuts over extra things in their bags, if it isn’t pennies or toothbrushes.

I picked up some of the the new Halloween-themed Kellogs cereals yesterday (Cocoa Crispies and Apple Jacks). It’s pretty much the original cereals with added marshmellows. But the packaging’s pretty boss and they come with free glow-in-the-dark scary stickers. And they’re only like $1.99 a box at my grocery store. Good times….

I was at a nearby Target recently,and they had pretty cool Halloween stuff,like replica chain maces and other such stuff,the kind of things you’d want to get if you were to dress up as an Orc from the LOTR films and such.

I guess sometimes I like it better than Wal-Mart becuase they’ll usually have stuff Wal-Mart never has (I bought my copy of Jon Stewart’s America The Book there),and isn’t that the reason why people like to shop around? For variety?

Matt, why aren’t any of my posts published? If this one doesn’t go out, i’m gonna be very dissapointed with you. And by the way, the gun’s plastic, but still.

I looked at that Halloween mp3 page,and it’s awesome,but "Cry Little Sister" is NOT by The Sisters of Mercy,as the vocalist doesn’t sound even remotely close. It’s by Gerard McMann. "Transylvanian Concubine" is by Rasputina,allthough I’m assuming it says "Manson" because it’s Marilyn Manson’s remix from the single.

Allright,now I’ve been listening to the jukebox,so who thinks we should go back in time and nominate Do The Freddy for a Grammy? That’s definately my new favorite song.

matt i know that you know that i know that you know that if you knew advanced quantumphfysics you would know what i’m talking about.

I’ve never posted before. I just wanted to say that I fricking love your site and instead of working at my job, I read about Halloween and Kool-Aid for hours while getting paid. It’s teh sweetest thing ever. perhaps even sweeter than cherry Kool-Aid made with twice the sugar. Thank you for helping me give it to the corporate machine.

Well Gozer, Being a Mexican-American and knowing that Mexico does’nt celebrate "Halloween", I guess That "Dia De Los Muertos" is the closest thing that mexicans have honoring the dead…just like what "Halloween" does. Except we have all the cool candy to eat while doing it

I’ve always liked Dia de los Muertos myself. Day of the Dead is like our Memorial Day, just not as much of a downer. And with sugar skulls. And pinatas. And fireworks. This Hallowe’en, set a place for your favorite dead relative. They like to party too. Don’t beleive me? Listen to Rockapella’s "Zombie Jamboree" sometime. Or, go to the Jukebox and spin "Dead Man’s Party."

It has much more in common with Halloween’s ancestor, Samhain, which indeed consisted of "honoring/having a transdimentional party with your dead relatives." It has since become Halloween and lost most of its seriousness, but it’s interesting how two holidays from two different cultures could center around the same themes at the same time of year.

Speaking of weird, evil muppet-like things, Muppet writer Jerry Juhl died on monday after a battle with cancer. Now where is Fozzie gonna get his awful jokes??

Update: I too just got back from a Target and found not only the That’s Gross stuff, I found all 4 flavors of the Jones Halloween Sodas. I haven’t tried them yet, but I will report once I have.

Also, I still haven’t found Frankenberry & Boo Berry here on Long Island. I live in Lindenhurst and I do not want to drive very far. Any tips would be awesome.

If any of you live in the Southeast Michigan area (and if you do, WHY DON’T I KNOW YOU???), I’m happy to report that the Target in Monroe, they’re seriously overstocked on all four flavors of Jones. Haven’t looked for these toys, though.

Yep, our Target has the Jones soda too, only 1.49 for 4 lil cans. Not bad - I might get some next time I go out there you know, to keep some sitting around collecting dust, with everything else I "collect" … wish they had a variety pack - would save me some room.

Given the way my legs feel (guess who helped the grocery store where she used to work pack up today and is not used to lifting heavy items?), all I’m up to saying is…wow. The stretchy body parts are amazing. Oh, and I liked the spider, though I’d probably freak if I saw something that big in my apartment.

I live in SE Michigan. Manchester, if you’ve ever heard of it. The Ann Arbor Target has the Jones soda too.

My husband and I did our own Jones Halloween taste test this afternoon. The Candy Corn tastes like butterscotch, especially the nasty buttery aftertaste. Caramel Apple does indeed taste like sweetened apple juice, and the others were just trumped-up Kool-Aid flavors. Nothing I would drink to quench my thirst, though.

Believe it or not, I’ve never heard of Manchester. But from what I hear you guys have one heck of a soccer team.

Holy crap, I NEED that Gross Ball. And I would like to own those stretchy body parts, also.

Matt, your comics always make me laugh and they hardly ever have a real joke in them. More please!

Here’s hoping I can get ahold of a copy of We <3 Katamari soon… if I don’t play it I’m gonna go batty.[/lame Halloween-themed pun]

Kyle-
I live in SE MI too, but I haven’t been to my local Target (Troy/Mad. Heights) in at least 3 weeks - shame on me!
I’ll prolly hit it this weekend…

In the spirit of begging to lick Target’s bare feet — I would pay decent money* for a Baby Werewolf of any sort from Target. Either stolen from the store’s posterboard decorations, or an actual toy (in the venue of the Baby Vamps and Baby Witches).

I LOVE TARGET!!! I can’t go in there without spending money. so the only time I go in there is when I absolutely need something. I’m on a budget right now (I’m still looking for a job). Their video games are the best-priced (I haven’t purchased any of those since February). You can ALWAYS find hard-to-find stuff there.

I like those Halloween items, particularly the fake eyes. They do have a breast implant-quality to them. Yuck.

First, for the first time ever, I have seen a real Fright Glove, just like you reviewed.

Third, our Target has its halloween candy on clearance and has no costumes. Its Christmas section is already in full swing.

"It’s kind of a gyp that the hand and the foot are shrunken down to the same size as all the face parts."

BTW I found Spaghetti and Worms, Maggots and Flies which are really cool. Also found the original Slime! in the green garbage can, t a local thrift toy store.

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 28th, 2005 at 9:14 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.