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09/25/2005: The Jones Soda Halloween Collection!

Okay okay, you can stop e-mailing me, I got them I got them. Exclusive to Target, it’s the Jones Soda Halloween Collection, a series of four fine soft drinks ranging from “Caramel Apple” to “Candy Corn,” and yeah I’ve probably got 24 hours to live. Actually, they’re nowhere near as offensive as the flavors in last year’s Holiday Pack, but it’s just more proof that we should always think twice before drinking from cans with pictures of goblins on them. If interested, they’re cheap, on borrowed time and are absolutely going to be the cause of many “HAVE YA HEARD ABOUT DEEEEES” conversations this Halloween season. Enjoy, and pretend it’s Monday.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 106 comments

Hooray, more Jones’ Soda!

I love the cans… soo Halloweenish.

Ghosted by Chilipeppers @ 09/25/2005 3:11 AM EDT

mmmm, cute little cans and flavors that actually sound appealing, unlike the Thanksgiving Flavors!!

Gotta get my azz to Target@! :( :)

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 09/25/2005 3:11 AM EDT

#3? What a record!

That liquid was so bright, it almost doesn’t look real. And when something doesn’t look quite real, it looks spooooky…..so it kinda works.

Ghosted by Mars @ 09/25/2005 3:14 AM EDT

nice article. The non novelty soda I’ve had that tasted shitty was the red licorice kind that safeway makes. The first few sips were ok, the rest was bad. Especially because it was flat.

The jones soda I would try is the blue, neon light one. Psst check out my listing link :)

Ghosted by Goob @ 09/25/2005 4:34 AM EDT

Gee, I thought I was all special telling Matt about these, but I guess I was just one of the many.

I’m giving them out to trick or treaters this year.

Ghosted by The Fuzzy Hulk @ 09/25/2005 4:53 AM EDT

I didn’t really think the candy corn tasted 100% like candy corn. I’d go maybe 40% candy corn and 60% cotton candy (or cotton candy flavored bubble gum). The first sip made it totally understandable why they chose not to put the stuff in larger cans. P.S. Corpse Bride is really good!

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 09/25/2005 5:36 AM EDT

Those cans look ominous. I think they know that once you drink from them, your soul will be theirs…

I’m all for new and exciting drinks, but hopefully these don’t taste like medicine. I’m sure the flavours were created when one guy was eating, say a caramel apple, and said "You know what? This would be better…as liquid food I could down in three seconds"

Ghosted by Dr. Acula @ 09/25/2005 5:46 AM EDT

Whoa… that is the bluest blue I’ve ever seen in a soda. Despite the words of warning on taste, the color alone seems to be a vortex – sucking my soul out of me and replacing free will with a strong desire to go to Target and grab a 6 pack.

Ghosted by Mr. Boligarky @ 09/25/2005 6:18 AM EDT

I don’t have anything to say about soda, but I just wanted to gloat about the fact that I’m going to see System of a Down tonight in Columbus. I don’t normally have much to gloat about folks. So, please, let me have this…just this once. Nyah-nyah-nyah.

Ghosted by The Yeti @ 09/25/2005 8:51 AM EDT

Just another manic pseudo-Monday.
Is it wrong that a review which repeatedly underscored the unpalatability of each and every soda in the line makes me want to go out and stockpile them so I’ll never run out?

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 09/25/2005 8:54 AM EDT

FINALLY, a soda can that outdoes Pepsi’s COOL CANS circa 1989. Great article.
Does anyone know why most of the Boglin ebay auctions are from the UK? Is that where they were produced?

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 09/25/2005 10:01 AM EDT

I have nothing to say except I’m going to target later to get me some of that soda. And maybe a couple BARC (Biker Advanced Recon Commando) speeders. Duros disaster :o

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 09/25/2005 11:01 AM EDT

You know, I am suprised Jones did not include a "Blood" flavor. "Human Brains" would’ve been very festive and canible-like as well.

Ghosted by Warx @ 09/25/2005 11:19 AM EDT

yes! i can drink candy corn now..life is complete! ;p

Ghosted by danoslayer @ 09/25/2005 11:44 AM EDT

I have spent a life deprived of novelty holiday soda. And I am worse off for it.

Ghosted by The Wukong Effect @ 09/25/2005 11:59 AM EDT

Every time I read your nasty soda reviews i’m reminded of my old Dr. Dreadful Drink Lab set. That thing was disturbing and made the the most horrid foggy/fizzy water that my friends and I all gathered around and sucked it down. Did anyone else have that or am I just weird. I had the food lab too, where you make eyeballs and monster brains to eat. Gross gross gross…

Ghosted by Mattman @ 09/25/2005 12:15 PM EDT

I had to shield my eyes from Scary Berry Lemonade. I avoid any drink that is nuclear-bright.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 09/25/2005 12:33 PM EDT

Whats the Canadian Equivalent to Target, or maybe the Alberta euquivalent, western alienation strikes again!

Ghosted by Diarrhea Dave @ 09/25/2005 12:35 PM EDT

Ah, Dr. Dreadful.

The only man with enough foresight to give the world lickable, flavored warts.

Ghosted by The Wukong Effect @ 09/25/2005 12:48 PM EDT

Manimal,

So, which one were you?

Ghosted by Kyle @ 09/25/2005 12:57 PM EDT

Matt, I hate to criticize your english, but the expression "2 for 2" near the end of the article implies there were two options, and both worked out. Personally I think "2 and 2" works better, as in two balls and two strikes, four total possibilities, with a pair of both good and bad resullting. Once again, feel free to tell me to F-off, and I’m sure you’ll erase this as soon as you reach a decision.

Ghosted by Mad Cow @ 09/25/2005 1:41 PM EDT

No, no, you are correct. It should’ve read "2 for 4," like it now does. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/25/2005 1:44 PM EDT

I hate my town for not having a target now.
I really want to try that berry lemonade one. Because honestly, i dont enjoy ingesting things unless they can possibly harm me internally.

Ghosted by Zorkporker @ 09/25/2005 1:46 PM EDT

I’m haunted by not knowing what wet aspirin smells like. I’m gonna have nightmares!!!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 09/25/2005 1:49 PM EDT

I gonna get me on of them. Bye the way love what you did with the blog… halloweenie :) Look, im chucky! :( :P

Ghosted by Cotter @ 09/25/2005 3:34 PM EDT

I’m surprised there’s no pumpkin flavor here. Or are they saving that for a possible Thanksgiving Soda Sequel?

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 09/25/2005 4:11 PM EDT

The Yeti: I just wanted to gloat about the fact that I’m going to see System of a Down tonight in Columbus.

No comment

Ghosted by Gozer @ 09/25/2005 4:18 PM EDT

that’s what I’m talkin’ bout, Gozer!

course, I’ll be in Milwaukee week after next for KMFDM, so what’s that mean to me? Who knows, who cares. Is it me, or does the Rave get worse every time I go there?

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 09/25/2005 4:29 PM EDT

I don’t have a valid opinion on KMFDM, but they are on the Mortal Kombat movie soundtrack which is pretty good (the soundtrack, not the movie), so I’ll give them props. Not madd props, but just props.
Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to the Rave, even though I’ve lived within like 100 miles of it my whole life. Meh.

Ghosted by Gozer @ 09/25/2005 4:46 PM EDT

Either the Jason :) has been swapped or I’m going completely crazy. Actually, I guess those aren’t mutually exclusive.
I’ve actually warmed up to System of a Down since hearing Richard Cheese’s amazing covers, and I spent far too many of my tender years listening to Green Day to really haterate, but this line from Gozer’s link just about killed me: "If Green Day’s vile American Idiot built political commentary out of Lego, Mezmerize snaps it together out of Duplo…"
Speaking of dumb things I did as a teenager, when I first discovered Jones soda on a vacation I was immediately obsessed. I bought every bottle they had and convinced myself I was going to get a picture onto a label (this was before they offered the customized ones, and no I never even bothered submitting a photo :D ). My dresser was covered with empty bottles that I used as decoration and/or nifty candleholders. I didn’t get rid of them until I moved out of the house, and even then it was reluctantly. Still miss ‘em, along with the Star Wars Pepsi cans they shared decorating (and eventually landfill) space with.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 09/25/2005 4:52 PM EDT

haha! look, this blog is no. 666

http://x-entertainment.com/updates/entries/archives/00000666.html

i guess satan really does own jones’ soda.

Ghosted by Ralph @ 09/25/2005 5:53 PM EDT

I am going to have to buy the jones soda. I have to admit I am curious about what liquid carbinated caramel apples taste like.

Ghosted by kb @ 09/25/2005 6:02 PM EDT

I do know what wet aspirin smells like, and the memory of it is enough to keep me from trying those. I’m slightly interested in the Caramel Apple one… but unless I’m already going to Target for something else, I’d rather just read about it ;)

Ghosted by Diana @ 09/25/2005 6:10 PM EDT

:-) Jones soda is good

Ghosted by Raffle @ 09/25/2005 6:17 PM EDT

I could really go for a refreshing Fufu Berry right about now but even today it’s tough to find Jones in bottles around here…I see Whoopass all the time but I’m no energy drink fan.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 09/25/2005 6:20 PM EDT

Went to TARGET but no soda.

Kyle, good work! That’s me on the left taking a page from the Road Warriors. (For those who are interested, click the name or check out the Saturday Night thread for more details on the non-survey)

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 09/25/2005 6:27 PM EDT

Just watched the movie "Popcorn" it was pretty good cheesy horror movie. Then I watched "Deadly Friend" . I gotta find some jones soda.

Ghosted by Milkspasm @ 09/25/2005 6:42 PM EDT

I’ve decided to make my own Candy Corn soda.

I need a 50 gallon tub of Dr. Pepper, a bushel of fermenting corn, and some DOTS.

Ghosted by The Wukong Effect @ 09/25/2005 6:53 PM EDT

Road Warriors? Is that another wrestling thing?

Ghosted by Kyle @ 09/25/2005 7:26 PM EDT

So I picked up the Scary Berry and S’Lime varieties a couple of weeks ago and I really liked them. I love the Berry Lemonade when it’s not Halloween-themed, but it tastes so much better in a can with a jack-o-lantern design on it. Yum. :)
After reading the article, I might pick up Caramel Apple sometime, but there is still no way I’m springing for the Candy Corn. Even if it only tastes faintly like it’s namesake, that’s too much for me. I am not a fan of candy corn.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 09/25/2005 8:25 PM EDT

Rainbowfeet, I have a question re: Scary Berry. Did you drink yours chilled? A couple of folks said that they enjoy it, but I just can’t believe it. It’s not bad in the sense that it makes you wanna hurl, but I just can’t picture sitting there sipping my way through even a half-sized can.

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/25/2005 8:27 PM EDT

How the hell can anything be anything in a "more than literal sense?"

Ghosted by Dave @ 09/25/2005 8:28 PM EDT

"More than literally edible," meaning one could drink it for reasons other than the fact that it is conceivable to drink it. As in, they might even like it.

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/25/2005 8:29 PM EDT

Gee, now I wish I lived near a Target. At least these sound a little bit closer to ingestible, if not 100% perfect (or even 50%).

Ghosted by starwenn @ 09/25/2005 8:41 PM EDT

Sorry Kyle but yes this is another wrestling reference. Long story short, the Road Warriors (aka the Legion of Doom) were a landmark wrestling tag team who emerged in the early 1980’s. Hawk and Animal were designed to be villians but they were very popular with the fans like traditional good guys would have been. Hawk died in 2003 thus ending the greatest tag team in wrestling history. Click the name and the other link for more.
According to their webpage, Animal gives motivational speeches. Maybe a good keynote speaker at X-E-rama ‘06????
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Road_Warriors

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 09/25/2005 8:51 PM EDT

Matt- Yes, I drink it straight from the fridge. I don’t think it would taste as good warm, or even not very cold. Was yours chilled or warm? I’m honestly surprised that you dislike it that much, but I can completely see where you’re coming from.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 09/25/2005 8:59 PM EDT

It was slightly chilled, which may have played a part in my disgust. I’ll freeze the shit and give it a second whirl. If the opinion changes, I’ll add a note to the article.

Ghosted by Matt @ 09/25/2005 9:01 PM EDT

I don’t know, maybe that will improve it a little- let me know.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 09/25/2005 9:09 PM EDT

The Road Warrior movie was awesome but wrestling sucks worse than Jones Soda. A friend and I were out cruising Target this afternoon and she bought two packs of Candy Corn and drank four cans out of it. It smelled disgusting. I wouldn’t even try it. Ewww. She called me later and said it tastes even better frozen, like a candy corn popsicle. :P ew

Ghosted by KittyCatGirl @ 09/25/2005 9:32 PM EDT

Don’t know if these are up yet

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/jones-halloween/default.php

http://www.retrocrush.com/podcast.html
(see podcast 16)

Looks like this is the reason no one can find it, all the webmasters are buying it up….

Ghosted by toadboy @ 09/25/2005 9:50 PM EDT

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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 25th, 2005 at 2:59 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.