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The Official Spoiler Thread.

Been super slammed at work. Here is my tale of woe: This morning, I snuck outside for the day's first ultra-quick under-the-radar cigarette break, and what do I see across the street? Every big time advertising icon imaginable, in full costume, from Mr. Peanut to Tony the Tiger, the Crash Test Dummies, the Energizer Bunny and beyond. My own personal Babylon, right across the fucking street, and I didn't have time to visit, much less run upstairs to grab my cell phone camera. Oh, poor me. And you thought those Krauts in the Third World had it bad. No idea what the celebration was about, but a coworker soon appeared in the office holding a pair of foam Energizer Bunny ears. Augh I hate him.

Sort-of Survey: Want to try something different with this thread, so BE WARNED before you read it. It's the SPOILER thread. Consider the comments section for this entry your one-time ticket to ask your fellow readers for the scoop on anything you want to know from all walks of entertainment -- if you're looking to be spoiled, ask away. Ask about movie endings. Ask about what happened on last week's Six Feet Under. I'm not sure how this will turn out, but it could be interesting. DO NOT READ the comments if you're avoiding spoilers for anything in particular at this point in time. It's all fair game. Doesn't have to be new stuff, either. Personally, I've always wondered how Predator 2 ended.

Posted by Matt on 08/02/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 195 comments

vince is the new aquaman!! Yeah, mandy moore is set to be aqua girl, but their is trouble because vince was in love with her and and asked her to marry him like 5 yrs ago. drama has found love in an old co-star from his vicking quest days, i cant really think of what else is going on

Chestnuts roasted by letshugitoutbitch @ 08/03/2005 8:03 PM

…the dish ran away with the spoon.

Chestnuts roasted by Warx @ 08/03/2005 8:03 PM

Danimal,

I was just giving you a hard time. :) Welcome aboard!

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/03/2005 8:22 PM

Is that what happened in the book, The Shining? I’ve just seen the Kubrick movie. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 08/03/2005 8:22 PM

At the end of the sceond League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic mini-series (much better than the film,BTW),the Martian invaders are done in a biological weapon devised by Dr. Moreau,but the British goverment covers it up with the common cold angle from the original War of the Worlds novel,and the team breaks up after two members die and Captian Nemo pissed he was party to the use of a bioweapon.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 08/03/2005 8:49 PM

Ok, these aren’t horror, but let me join the insanity anyway. This is one of the funniest blog entries I’ve read in a while.

Head – The Monkees are carted off in a tank by Victor Mature, we get the end (and only) credits, and the film burns in the final shot.

Hot Shots – Topper and his girlfriend meet in the Indian camp and probably enjoy much meat-cooking sex together.

The Pirate Movie – Mabel and "Fredric" get married AFTER the dream sequence ends, and yes, there’s much singing and dancing, Australian style.

In "Who Framed Roger Rabbit," Judge Doom is a Toon.

Marty McFly DOES eventually get to the future in "Back to the Future" series…and the past, and an alt-universe 1986, and the Wild West, and an alt-alt-universe "Back to the Future"…

The first "Super Mario Bros" ends with Princess Toadstool making a lame joke about needing to be rescued again.

Prince Philip kisses Sleeping Beauty awake, and the three good fairies keep changing her dress color. There’s much waltzing, but the singing is a background chorus.

Nemo finds his dad.

The Incredibles ease up on their kids, save the world as a family, and discover the baby is a human torch.

ET goes home.

Rick tells Elsa to go back to the states with her husband and he walks off to join the war with his Vichy official buddy.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/03/2005 8:50 PM

on the season opener of entourage vince, and the gang get back from filming queens blvd, e finds out his girl is cheating, and f&*$S a perfect 10 model, drama wants calf implants, vince is going broke because he cant get work, ari says do "aquaman" vince says hell no, untill james cameron becomes director, e and vince say make it happen arei, they all go to sundance, vince is in a commercial where he makes half a mill, and f*&4s a chinease trainer drama and turtle get laid at a brothel which is next door to the new house that vince bought, james cameron sees queens blvd, decides it is geniuos and offers aquaman to vince

Chestnuts roasted by letshugitoutbitch @ 08/03/2005 9:15 PM

The Dumbledore Question: I think Dumbledore’s going to pull a Gandalf and come back. People were suspiscious of Snape so Dumbledore’s fake death will put Snape off the track.But does anyone have any idea who’s initials were on the note included with the fake Horcruxes? I’m thinking it’s Sirius’ Black’s brother, (I can’t remember his first name, but it starts with the right letter). I don’t know his middle name, but they mentions his name a couple times in the 6th book and that can’t be for no reason.

On Willy Wonka: I enjoyed the film. It’s darker than the first film version and Depp plays Wonka as a bit of a creepy screwball with Daddy issues and zero empathy but in many ways that’s closer to the book than the first film version as Gene Wilder’s Wonka was a little too happy go lucky and nice as Dahl’s novel, contrary to many beliefs, is not entirely about sunshine and rainbows (and chocolate)

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 08/03/2005 9:32 PM

Gabby – yup it’s Regulus A. (although we don’t know what the A is for yet) Black, and the real locket horcrux was the heavy locket that no one could open which they found when cleaning up Sirius’s house in Order of the Phoenix.

Chestnuts roasted by Xevo @ 08/03/2005 10:58 PM

Hahahaha. I am SO totally the winner!

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 08/03/2005 11:03 PM

Can somebody tell me how the PS2 game "Kingdom Hearts" wraps up? It’s a charming little game, but I got bored with it pretty quickly and sold it before beating it.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 08/03/2005 11:05 PM

Happy looks above his mothers house and see’s abe lincoln the crocodile and chubs, he then waves to them all creating much speculation from his grandma who asks "who are you waving to?" Happy replies, "No one grandma"

Chestnuts roasted by Diarrhea Dave @ 08/03/2005 11:24 PM

who knows what happens at the end of the "peasants quest" game on the homestarrunner site

Chestnuts roasted by Death Rides a Stick @ 08/03/2005 11:28 PM

At the end of "peasants quest" you get to Trogdor’s cave, and then he tells you he can’t be killed and you die, and the erect a statue of you for getting farther than anyone else ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Katherine! @ 08/03/2005 11:53 PM

It’s made of PEOPLE! And the dogs die at the end. But a red fern grows over their grave so its okay.

I can also tell you the end of every modern Asian martial arts movie ever. They all DIE and WEEP and DIE. and Diieeeee.

What happens at the end of Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell? Anyone read that?

Chestnuts roasted by Katherine @ 08/04/2005 12:20 PM

Doomsday kills Superman, but not before Superman kills Doomsday. Both come back.

Crossing the streams kills Gozer.

Bruce Willis = dead

Skeletor’s stupid plan fails, He-Man defeats him, Duncan sucks.

Snape kills Dumbledore.

Gizmo Kills Stripe.

Frostbite kills Jack Torrance.

Video kills the radio star.

The cheese stands alone.

Charlie wins the Chocolate Factory.

Hal Jordan is back and as boring as ever.

My weird dream ended when I woke up.

Sealab blows up. Or not.

The gang catches the monster, unmasks him, and it turns out to be the secondary character they met five minutes in.

The post fails to end with a clever comment.

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Thunder @ 08/04/2005 12:21 PM

The Alien gets sucked out an airlock…many times.

Chestnuts roasted by Ed @ 08/04/2005 1:23 AM

Actually Johnny Thunder stole what I wanted to say :)

I’m so embarassed to say it took my years and years (I was a kid ok?) to figure out that every Scooby Doo episode ends the same:

Scary monster is actually someone dressed up as a monster who wants to make money from some property and therefore tries to scare other people away.

EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. Sheesh I was so dumb!

Pax

Chestnuts roasted by Soj @ 08/04/2005 1:36 AM

and if it weren’t for those kids and there darned dog, I woulda done it too!!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 08/04/2005 1:45 AM

Sora and Kairi are separated when the ground crumbles asunder beneath them.

Riku smiles at Sora, and Mickey Mouse closes the door behind them.

Donald and Goofy bounce around a lot, and say stuff.

Kairi waits in a cave and draws pictures.

Utada Hikaru sings.

Chestnuts roasted by Tatanka lives @ 08/04/2005 4:35 AM

I’ll give answers to questions that weren’t asked:

Leonard Shelby killed his wife with insulin injections.

Shadow calls a truce between the new gods and the old gods and they stop fighting. Hinzelmann, actually a god, killed a teenager every harvest, shoved their body into a broken car, and dumped it into a frozen lake. The cop character whose name I forget kills him and burns down his house. Shadow goes to Europe.

Rosasharn’s baby dies. She breastfeeds a starving old man in a barn.

The conch shatters as Piggy falls off a cliff. The boys are rescued.

The characters in "Trapped in the Closet" are all having affairs with each other. Sylvester’s wife slept with the cop who pulled Sylvester over. R. Kelly sings.

Cady ditches prom to win the Mathlete competition (the limit does not exist). Regina gets hit by a bus and, as a result, everyone changes their ways. Gretchen learns Vietnamese.

Chestnuts roasted by Tatanka is bored @ 08/04/2005 5:07 AM

Rorschach and Nite Owl make it to Ozymandias’ Antarctic retreat, where he reveals that he murdered the Comdedian, because the Comdedian knew about his plan to fake an alien invasion by killing half of NYC.

Nite Owl and Rorschach declare their intent to stop him, and Ozy reveals that he has already exectured the plan.

Dr. Manahattan returns from Mars to find half of NYC dead. He, too, goes to Ozy’s retreat. He then kills Rorschach who refuses to remain silent regarding Ozy’s deeds. He then departs Earth for good, with the intent to create life eleswhere.

Nite Owl and the Silk Spectre resume crime-fighting but have taken up new civilian identities.

The last panel shows the publisher’s assistant at New Frontiersman reaching for Rorschach’s journal as a possible story.

Chestnuts roasted by Devastatin' Dodge @ 08/04/2005 6:23 AM

Kevin Spacey is Keiser Sosey.

Chestnuts roasted by King Peter @ 08/04/2005 8:37 AM

No one ever dies in the A-Team, but the team always wins by blowing cars up and making them do rotational flips.

Mork and Mindy end up in prehistoric times.

MacGyver’s first name is Angus.

Samurai Jack never returns to his time.

All your base really do belong to us.

The Beef is everywhere.

Chestnuts roasted by Quiet Thunder @ 08/04/2005 8:54 AM

the boyfriends are the killers in scream

the boyfriends mom (jackie from rosanne) is the killer in scream 2

the movie direct/half brother (Noel Crane from Felicity) is the killer in scream 3

Chestnuts roasted by jeff @ 08/04/2005 9:26 AM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005 at 9:45 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.