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The Official Spoiler Thread.

Been super slammed at work. Here is my tale of woe: This morning, I snuck outside for the day's first ultra-quick under-the-radar cigarette break, and what do I see across the street? Every big time advertising icon imaginable, in full costume, from Mr. Peanut to Tony the Tiger, the Crash Test Dummies, the Energizer Bunny and beyond. My own personal Babylon, right across the fucking street, and I didn't have time to visit, much less run upstairs to grab my cell phone camera. Oh, poor me. And you thought those Krauts in the Third World had it bad. No idea what the celebration was about, but a coworker soon appeared in the office holding a pair of foam Energizer Bunny ears. Augh I hate him.

Sort-of Survey: Want to try something different with this thread, so BE WARNED before you read it. It's the SPOILER thread. Consider the comments section for this entry your one-time ticket to ask your fellow readers for the scoop on anything you want to know from all walks of entertainment -- if you're looking to be spoiled, ask away. Ask about movie endings. Ask about what happened on last week's Six Feet Under. I'm not sure how this will turn out, but it could be interesting. DO NOT READ the comments if you're avoiding spoilers for anything in particular at this point in time. It's all fair game. Doesn't have to be new stuff, either. Personally, I've always wondered how Predator 2 ended.

Posted by Matt on 08/02/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 195 comments

Fatboy’s comments were all Twilight Zone episodes. The glasses one has been refernced all over the place.
All the time in the world. Clatter…. snapt! It’s not fair!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklas, part DUH! @ 08/03/2005 1:40 PM

Kristin shot J.R.

Chestnuts roasted by rebecca @ 08/03/2005 1:57 PM

You know that one scene in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves where the Sheriff is about to hang the Merry Men, but suddenly Robin shows up? In haste, the Sheriff quickly kicks out all the stools underneath them and the Merry Men dangle from the nooses. But I also remember the Merry Men being ALIVE at the end. How the heck did Robin get them out of that?

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/03/2005 2:25 PM

in response to TheFatboy’s comments…the final one about Angela being a boy I believe refers to the campy 80′s slasher flick Sleepaway Camp…where you discover at the end that it was in fact Angela that was killed all those years ago by the boat, that her boy cousin (or was it brother) was all dressed up like a girl, etc by his fucked up aunt…very strange movie…but worth watching if you like the taste of 80′s Cheese :P Also I’d like to bring something up to get people’s opinion (in keeping in a way with the spoilers topic) in American Psycho (book and/or movie) did Pat Bateman actually kill those people…or was it merely all in his mind?

Chestnuts roasted by Jabo @ 08/03/2005 2:37 PM

danimal

In the Saw the true killer was the dead guy in the middle of the room. He gets up after the doctor cuts his own leg off and leaves. Better yet he tells the other guy that the key to his chains was in the bathtub and walks out closing the door. All the other plot was the sicko messing with others heads the same way.
The End of one really twisted movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Wentral @ 08/03/2005 2:42 PM

Mars-didn’t someone shoot an arrow through the rope and they fell?

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/03/2005 2:43 PM

Oh hey Kingklash,

You were right after all about the Marx bros. reference. Not only is Captain Spaulding referenced, but all of the names (e.g. The Firefly family) were Marx bros. derived. They reveal that in Devil’s Rejects. I didn’t pick up on it because well I’m a young punk :)

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/03/2005 2:55 PM

This has nothing to do with your thread but Matt are you still selling those $50 mystery boxes?

Chestnuts roasted by Mike The Great @ 08/03/2005 3:17 PM

Thanks Wentral. that was sort of my theory. I had guessed that the guy in the middle of the room was the dude in charge of it all, but also thought that whoever survives out of the previous "game" becomes the new Saw and it just gets passed along. nice summary though. thanks

Chestnuts roasted by danimal @ 08/03/2005 3:40 PM

Darth Vader is Luke’s father.

Chestnuts roasted by Quiet Thunder @ 08/03/2005 3:42 PM

Godzilla stomples the hell out of some monster, burninates half of Tokyo, walks off into the ocean. Sometimes there’s singing.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/03/2005 4:53 PM

Here’s a spoiler…"You will die alone."

Chestnuts roasted by danimal @ 08/03/2005 5:05 PM

As far as Six Feet Under, my wife also complained that Nate was a whiny prick. I just saw him as a guy in a marriage that was obviously ending, and he had a hardon for his step-sister, and he found his job futile. He seemed to have plenty to be whiny about. But yeah, I was shocked to see him die.

Chestnuts roasted by tanta07 @ 08/03/2005 5:13 PM

Oh, please, people. DUMBLEDORE IS FUCKING DEAD. COPE.

rebecca: Yes, Reggie does recognize George at the end of that episode. I believe Rube did say that on Halloween, people can see their true appearances.

As for Six Feet Under… Good riddance to Nate. I was getting sick of his consistent fuck-ups, and the fact that he always blamed whoever he was with for any relationship problems. Couldn’t be that he never wants what he already has, and ALWAYS felt the need to pursue what he doesn’t. And then, of course, once he gets it he doesn’t really want it anymore.

Whatever. I was sick of him, and I felt absolutely no sympathy when he died. Not even for Maya, because honestly, he didn’t seem to do that much for her. He was too busy banging greasy Quaker chicks and yelling at Brenda to actually raise his daughter. Good. At least with Brenda, Maya’s got someone who actually notices she’s there.

Chestnuts roasted by Jen @ 08/03/2005 5:28 PM

The Universe ends as the Dreaming God wakes up, rolls over, and goes back to sleep. A new Universe begins. I hope there’s singing.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/03/2005 5:34 PM

In book SEVEN of Harry Potter, Harry, Ron, Hermione (and Malfoy)travel back in time to Hogwarts when his parents were attending to try and stop Voldemort (and young Snape). He thinks he succeeds but really Voldemort survives (with help from Malfoy)and seeks revenge which ultimately leads to the demise of Harry’s parents. Remember… awful things happen to wizards who meddle with time.

Also Harry warns Dumbledore of his future murder by Snape but as it turns out the whole thing WAS a hoax to protect the innocence of Malfoy. Too late though because it is Malfoy (under Voldemort’s influence) who injures Hermione and Ron. Harry almost kills Malfoy, because he thinks Herminone and Ron are dead but is stopped by Dumbledore. Ron and Hermione get married, Harry goes off to be alone. And Voldemorte is still out there… somewhere!

THE END

anyway it pisses off a lot of fans and Rowling eventually releases 3 more books making it 10 books in the series. But of course they all get a happy ending blah blah blah.

Chestnuts roasted by evadrad @ 08/03/2005 6:16 PM

Taarna The Defender passes the torch to the little girl.

Chestnuts roasted by Another Matt @ 08/03/2005 6:28 PM

KINGKLASH,
Are you suggesting that God is Bob Newhart?

I think Dumbledore is dead because Harry is supposed to be the main character/hero. It is time for him to grow up, etc.

danimal, eh???? Very interesting…

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/03/2005 7:05 PM

yeah, my name is Dan. One time before a basketball game one of my friends just said "give the ball to danimal" and its stuck ever since. I could change it to danimal3114u to avoid confusion if you prefer Manimal

Chestnuts roasted by danimal @ 08/03/2005 7:17 PM

I’m surpised no one put this one in…

Rosebud is Kane’s sled. I don’t believe there’s any singing.

Chestnuts roasted by Akbar101 @ 08/03/2005 7:23 PM

Luke & Leia are brother & suster

Anakin built C-3PO

Syndrome dies

Everyone dies at the end of Blair Witch Project

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/03/2005 7:25 PM

Iceman tells Maverick that he can be his wingman anytime.

Chestnuts roasted by Akbar101 @ 08/03/2005 7:26 PM

They find dry land at the end of "Water World" but Kevin the Merman goes back to sea.

Chestnuts roasted by Akbar101 @ 08/03/2005 7:28 PM

Random horror movie endings:

The Shining: Jack Nicholson’s character freezes to death in a maze, and his wife and son get away.

Scream: Neve Campbell’s character Sidney’s boyfriend and his best friend commit all the murders. She kills them both.

Scream 2: The crazy boyfriend from the previous movie’s mother is the killer, plus a guy she hired off the internet?!

Scream 3: Sidney’s step-brother was the catalyst for all of the other murders, and we try to figure out why they made two sequels to Scream.

Poltergeist: The neighborhood was built on top of a graveyard, the developers moved the gravestones and didn’t bother to move the bodies.

Psycho: It’s not Bates’ mother commiting the murders, it’s Norman himself, dressed like his dead mother, and schizophrenically hearing her tell him to commit the crimes.

Friday the 13th: Jason Vorhee’s mother (Wow, lots of mommy issues in horror movies) is the killer, avenging her son who drowned due to not-so-great camp counselors.

Grease: Sandy and Danny fly away in a chrome covered car, and everyone sings and dances. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 08/03/2005 7:34 PM

actually in the shining, Jack Nicholson’s character dies because of the heater that was never adjusted or whatever and pretty much explodes the place, but having his wife/son flee therefore sacrificing himself to save his wife and son, danny.

Chestnuts roasted by Yazma @ 08/03/2005 7:48 PM

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