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08/02/2005: The Official Spoiler Thread.

Been super slammed at work. Here is my tale of woe: This morning, I snuck outside for the day’s first ultra-quick under-the-radar cigarette break, and what do I see across the street? Every big time advertising icon imaginable, in full costume, from Mr. Peanut to Tony the Tiger, the Crash Test Dummies, the Energizer Bunny and beyond. My own personal Babylon, right across the fucking street, and I didn’t have time to visit, much less run upstairs to grab my cell phone camera. Oh, poor me. And you thought those Krauts in the Third World had it bad. No idea what the celebration was about, but a coworker soon appeared in the office holding a pair of foam Energizer Bunny ears. Augh I hate him.

Sort-of Survey: Want to try something different with this thread, so BE WARNED before you read it. It’s the SPOILER thread. Consider the comments section for this entry your one-time ticket to ask your fellow readers for the scoop on anything you want to know from all walks of entertainment — if you’re looking to be spoiled, ask away. Ask about movie endings. Ask about what happened on last week’s Six Feet Under. I’m not sure how this will turn out, but it could be interesting. DO NOT READ the comments if you’re avoiding spoilers for anything in particular at this point in time. It’s all fair game. Doesn’t have to be new stuff, either. Personally, I’ve always wondered how Predator 2 ended.


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Discussion Thread: 195 comments

Oh shit, that’s right!!! I haven’t watched Twilight Zone reruns in a while. Thanx!!!!!!

Ghosted by Allison @ 08/04/2005 9:34 AM EDT

Robbie and Julia get married at the end.

That wasn’t really Boy George singing.

Wayne starts dating Cassandra, and Garth’s dreamgirl says she loves him. Benjamin has a self-realization. And Russell learns that love can exist between two heterosexual males.

Ghosted by Allison @ 08/04/2005 9:41 AM EDT

Jabo,
I read the book ‘American Psycho’ long before I saw the movie – but I always got the feeling everything was in his head. If you read ‘The Rules of Attraction’ Patrick Bateman has a very small section that is from his point of view – you learn that he’s a tight-ass who condemns his brother Sean’s hedonistic lifestyle. So, since ‘American Psycho’ takes place after ‘Rules of Attraction’ it’s safe to assume that Patrick either A. Snapped and started killing people or B. Lives a very demented fantasy life. I always thought it was B – you get hints in the book that Patrick needs some sort of escape – he lives in a superficial world where people are identified only by what clothes they wear and what restaurants they eat at – and Patrick keeps getting misidentified – so he’s living this sort of anonymous existence. His fantasy life in which he’s some sort of cold blooded killer is a way of escaping the doldrums of his real life. Or it could be that he’s just a really sick fuck. Anyway you look at it, it’s an indictment of the superficiality of the 80’s.

Ghosted by 1983orioles @ 08/04/2005 10:08 AM EDT

the white ranger is Tommy! (who used to be the green ranger!)

Ghosted by xero @ 08/04/2005 10:34 AM EDT

A.C. Slater was really Albert Clifford.

Ghosted by RAS @ 08/04/2005 10:50 AM EDT

Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty on the beach and realizes he was actually on a future version of his home planet of Earth all along. A great anti-war movie if there ever was one!

Ghosted by Mikey @ 08/04/2005 10:59 AM EDT

Devastatin’ Dodge!! OMG, this is the second weird thing! The last two nights, I read Watchmen for the first time, all the way through. So I go on a forum last night, and I see a post by the user "Ozymandias" I’m like "whoa" and then I come on here, and see your post, and I’m like "WHOA!!" that’s too fucking crazy! BTW, it took me a while to figure out the different timelines, but overall, I like Watchmen a lot!

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 08/04/2005 11:29 AM EDT

I also believe that R.A.B. stands for Regulas A. Black (Sirius’s brother) and that Kreacher will play a big role in finding some of the horcruxes in book 7. If Dumbledore is really dead (and not alive like some of you have suggested), then I really believe Harry will die in book 7. The odds are so against him.

Ghosted by J-Dog @ 08/04/2005 11:34 AM EDT

Somebody please tell me what happens in "The Village".

thanks!

Ghosted by bad karma @ 08/04/2005 11:37 AM EDT

Oh, and here’s my contribution:

Roland finally reaches the Dark Tower, "erases" the Crimson King, and proceeds up into the tower. At each level, he relives/sees part of his past. When he finally reaches the apex, and passes through the door at the top. Then…

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."

That’s right…he finds himself back where we first met him…with no memory of what had happened, and only a vague feeling he’d just been somewhere else.

Ghosted by bad karma @ 08/04/2005 11:48 AM EDT

I’m really Megatron

The Quintessons built the original Transformers (Cartoon)

The planet the Beast Wars (US) starts on is pre-historic Earth around the time the Ark crashes on it. The maximals and predacons find it along with the original G1 cast inside

The clone troopers kill all the JEdi…

Ghosted by XGalvatronX @ 08/04/2005 11:50 AM EDT

AC Slater actually went on to become a very successful Super Hero in Paragon City, unbeknownst to the citizens of Bayside, who spent their twilight years wistfully dreaming of a bronzed hero to save their quaint seaside ‘burb from the maniacle manipulations of the Evil Dark Lord Belding.

Ghosted by Red Menace @ 08/04/2005 11:57 AM EDT

What happened in "The Village?"
Number Six is put on "Trial" which was really a confirmation hearing for him to become the next Number Two. But Six won’t have any of that and just wants the identity of Number One. He rescues the Leo McKern Number Two and the Carnaby Street Guy from being launched into space in the rocket piloted by Number One, who may be just a madman. The group make a run for it as the rocket launches, bullets flying as "All You Need Is Love" plays in the background. Jumping in the trailer from the previous episode the little butler drives them out from The Village and in short time they all end up in London, Where Number Six finds his apartment waiting for him, Two walks into Parliment, and Carnaby hitchhikes to greener pastures. Six and The Butler go into the apartment, and the door closes auotmatically, with that familiar electric hum that all doors in The Village make as they operate. Cue credits and the Penny-farthing Bicycle.

Or, were you thinking of Shlongadong’s movie? I ain’t seen that one.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 08/04/2005 12:27 PM EDT

I always had issues with the whole Transformers Beast Wars thing.

First of all, there was some sort of timing incongruency that i could never quite figure out.

Second, when the Predacons finally found and broke into the Ark, all the G1’s were inside…ALREADY IN THEIR EARTH-VEHICLE SIMULATED FORMS!!! I thought the whole thing was that when they awakened, little probes went out to find area-related objects that the transformers could mimic to hide their identities? How could they already look like earth vehicles from the "future"???

Ghosted by bad karma @ 08/04/2005 12:30 PM EDT

LOL! Thanks for thoroughly confusing me kingklash!

(so yah, i was referring to the M Knight Sumyoungguy movie)

Ghosted by bad karma @ 08/04/2005 12:32 PM EDT

The Village (the movie this time)

In the end the villagers don’t live in 1897, but the present. The village is actually a project devised by Elder Walker. The village elders all suffered tragic losses in their modern lives. To escape violence, they started a village inside a wildlife preserve, walled off from society. The elders masquerade as the monsters to keep the younger and unknowing members within village boundaries. Lucius Hunt is seriously injured and needs medicine. The elders have sworn never to return to the 21st C, so Elder Walker sends his blind daughter, Ivy for the medicine. Surviving a perilous trek during which Noah (Adrien Brody) dies, she meets up with a security guard patrolling the preserve’s perimeter. She gets medicine for Ivy, and she returns to the village still knowing nothing about the outside world, although she now knows the monsters are not real. The guard was unaware people were living inside the preserve.

Ghosted by Mikey @ 08/04/2005 1:02 PM EDT

That’s just my head, whenever someone mentions "The Village," I always think of "The Prisoner."

Well, in the pilot for TransFormers, it has been shown that the robot bodies were the same, just the Alter-forms were different. Wheeljack was a hovercraft-type thing, and Bumblebee was a saucer-shaped wheeled car. Later eps screwed up the continuity, though. Then BW Megatron tried to alter Time with his attempt, so maybe time was set right, it’s hard to tell when you muck about with time. Someone needs to earn a Marvel No-Prize for figuring this out.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 08/04/2005 1:03 PM EDT

In Turner & Hooch. The Dog "Hooch" dies in the end.

Ghosted by Tom Hanks @ 08/04/2005 2:02 PM EDT

And speaking of "The Prisoner", anyone want to take a stab at just WTF was going on in that final episode?

I know that Number Six finally faces off against Number One, but, he pulls off Number One’s mask, and it’s Number Six. And then all kinds of surrealistic holy hell breaks loose.

But, what does it all mean?

Ghosted by Devastatin' Dodge @ 08/04/2005 2:06 PM EDT

Otis, Baby, & Spaulding find themselves staring down the barrell of a police roadblock. Happy maybe-memories flash by as they lock, load, and speed down the road guns ablaze in slo-mo to the tune of Free Bird. As the song picks up momentum the screen goes black and we hear time catch up as evidenced by the stark sound of a barrage of bullets hitting…someone. They COULD have blown through. maybe I’m just hopelessly optimistic. :)

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/04/2005 2:08 PM EDT

What happens to Neo at the end of "Revolutions"?

Ghosted by Lost in the Matrix @ 08/04/2005 2:14 PM EDT

Hardy har har. He dies :( But self-sacrifice is noble so :)

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/04/2005 2:25 PM EDT

I’m assuming you were being silly. If you’re serious, I could give you a 20 page essay on the topic. I won’t, but I could.

Oh how you guys would hate me then, eh? :P

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/04/2005 2:27 PM EDT

Neo was eaten. His brain anyway.
Anyone know what happened to the doctor at the end of northern exposure? That show got really weird towards the end.

Ghosted by RAS @ 08/04/2005 2:27 PM EDT

Kneg-
I was serious. Maybe my blonde is showing, but I have never really gotten the end of that movie.

Ghosted by Lost in the Matrix @ 08/04/2005 2:32 PM EDT

Jimmy wins the contest and on his way home, spots the dinosaur on the way to Palm Springs and goes monkeyshit "California! California!" They all go inside the head where Pee Wee fucked Simone so many years ago and lay some crap out of his lunchbox down.

Joshua Jackson was the werewolf all along and Christina Ricci kills him by hacking his head off with the blunt end of a shovel. She also doesn’t show her amazing tits.

The Neo-Nazis find Amy, X, and Jordan and seriously fuck their day up. It’s hard to even talk about it. Anyone who knows what I mean can attest to this. But I’m sure Amy parted those succulent roast beef curtains only too well to receive the Virgin Mary.

The Village is really sequestered inside a wild animal refuge in the present day. Bryce Dallas Howard visits the "Towns" and M Night Scamarhourn talks some bullshit while reading a very depressing newspaper. (i’m only being comically cynical here. Shymalayan is GOD.)

The Tripods choke on our germs and vomit their alien pilots all over the National Guard. Tom Cruise hugs his should have been dead son.

Dan Aykroyd realizes that source programmable guidance will deter the nuke from annhilating the U.S. and makes it change trajectory. Steve Forrest and Tom Hatten (from those movies on KTLA back in the day) have their little NORAD raided.

Jimmy Cuervo impales Luc Crash on a fence post as Lola’s spell dies at sunrise. And I am really sorry that I know this. I want my 4 bucks back!!

Another doberman spews a bunch of maggots. Credits Roll, Cue the Snoop Dogg song.

The little boy tricks the lead singer of Blondie and shoves HER ass in the oven instead.

Steven spears Kane and Grammy Jess shuttles Carol Anne back over from the Other Side. Tangina so powerful and commanding from the first film does absolutely fuckall.

He was cured alright! Gene Kelley sings.

John Spartan assures Lenina Huxley that fucking after you destroy a Cryo Prison is better than kissing. Billy Idol sings.

The spiders crawl all over Gene Simmons and then detonate.

Captain Chaos is distracted by what he thinks is a drowning baby and Adrienne Barbeau and her bitch win the race. JJ should murder Victor but has a laugh instead. A bunch of creepy kids who probably did the choir bits from "Poltergeist" sing and bloopers ensue.

Macaulay Culkin’s mom drops the little cockstain off a cliff.

Nancy turns her back on Freddy and he turns into stardust. The next morning Freddy gives Nancy a ride to school and pulls her mom through the door window.

Anakin roasts like a turkey, turns into Vader, gives the worst "NOOOOO!" in cinematic history.

Louise throws her magic necklace back at Madame Serena at the school dance. I mean cmon, who really wants to have magic powers.

Kevin Lomax redeems himself through suicide. Al Pacino screams a lot. The Rolling Stones sing.

Morris Day and The Time rock the house with a stoner and a fat man in an overcoat.

They wonder if Death is still after them. A barbeque explodes and a mother is served her son’s limb.

Tom Cruise bites Christain Slater. Promises him a chance he never had. Guns N Roses sing.

Every single fuckin muppet in the movie shows up in Sara’s room and they sing and dance. Hedwig ,somehow lost from Harry Potter flies off into the credits.

Every single telephone on the planet rings in unison.

Robert DeNiro is a schizo and was Charlie all along. Tries to kill Dakota Fanning which is ok. Also tries to kill Famke Janssen which is not.

Manni finds his marks from a bum on a bike even though Lola gambled up a small fortune to save him.

Nicole Kidman tells Tom Cruise that they should go home and fuck.

Giovanni Ribisi tells Vin Diesel he best get the fuck out before the feds shut the firm down. Unfortunately he also gives him advice on his acting career.

Christoper Walken shoots Michael Keaton and Michelle Pfeiffer alot.

They finally take his retarded ass to the fuckin Baywatch!

Stephen Dorff launches a rocket into the demon’s chest and it all goes away.

Elizabeth Shue jerks Nicolas Cage off right before he says "Oh wow" and dies.

Brad Pitt finds out what the fuck is in the fucking booooxxxxxx! Morgan Freeman does voiceover. Surprise surprise.

Al Pacino puts on sunglasses, falls out of his chair. Credits roll.

Soldiers sing the theme to "Mickey Mouse Club" while walking over fried gooks.

Aliens pack up our universe in a marble bag and close it tight.

Sarah lowers him down into the molten steel. He gives a thumbs up. 13 year olds all over the world cannot believe they are crying. Brad Fiedel’s score is rich and powerful. A director makes his action masterpiece and the bar on action films is set as high as it goes and is never surpassed. THATS IT! THERE IS NO 3! THERE WAS NO 3!

T H E E N D

Ghosted by Ass Like That @ 08/04/2005 2:38 PM EDT

Nash is the one that betrayed all the heroes!

Angel Fish stayed out of the battle so she could bring all of the dead pets back to life.

Jesus turns out to be a part-alien hybrid, and the wound on his side turns out to be a vagina. REALLY. I saw a movie that ended like that. Pity me.

And Dumbledore is deader than a can of spam.

Ghosted by Knitter @ 08/04/2005 2:39 PM EDT

In that case, I apologize. I’m used to being razzed about Revolutions. My name only has a little bit to do with it, after all. I assumed you knew because of your name. But I should remember what assuming does :)

Neo lets Smith overtake him. The Neo-Smith clone explodes from the inside out. Then the "main Smith" pulls a Hayden Christensen "It’s not fair!" before he too explodes setting off a chain reaction killing all the Smiths. The people overtaken are restored and the God-Machine keeps his promise of peace. The architect warns the Oracle that peace doesn’t really last, but agrees to set free all of the humans plugged into the Matrix. The sun rises on a new day. The End.

I won’t go into implications, there are WAY too many to discuss her. Hence, I’ve just listed the events.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/04/2005 2:40 PM EDT

That Horcrux thing, (I haven’t read the book yet) it seems familiar. Didn’t Iron Man villain The Mandarin pull the same type of stunt? He was vaporized, but moved his spirit/soul/essence/spark into his rings. His power-hungry henchman puts them on, and is immediately taken over by Mandarin, who reshapes the body into a younger version of himself. Maybe Dumbledore will do the same thing, if his body is really done for. To use another Marvelism, Only Bucky Stays Dead.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 08/04/2005 2:53 PM EDT

Maggie did shot Mr Burns

Ghosted by Ed @ 08/04/2005 3:04 PM EDT

Flynn jumps into the MCP’s transmisson beam, allowing Tron to decompile the bloatated program. Flynn gets info-dumped back out into the real world, Dillinger gets his comeuppance, allowing Flynn to occupy the Sr. exec position. Time-lapse from day into night over the city, showing how we’re not so far removed from the life inside the Encom computers. Journey sings.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 08/04/2005 3:18 PM EDT

At the end of Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed is trasported to an alternate world in order to bring back Al from "across the gate", but Al has amnesia and doesn’t remember a thing. They continue to try to find a way to meet up again.

I remember StarCom, i had about the entire series…

Ghosted by That Guy @ 08/04/2005 3:56 PM EDT

at the end of steel angel kurumi, Kurumi turns into an angel instead of a demon. It’s still a bad idea to make her angry.

Ghosted by RAS @ 08/04/2005 4:08 PM EDT

SUPER SECRET SPOILER!!!!!

At comment 147 this post runs completely out of steam…

Ghosted by Nostradomus @ 08/04/2005 4:24 PM EDT

In Debbie Does Dallas, she whores herself so she can get to Dallas.

Ghosted by rebecca @ 08/04/2005 5:42 PM EDT

i’ve always wondered how those type of movies end, I never get all the way through it.

Ghosted by sad little man @ 08/04/2005 5:50 PM EDT

At the end of "The village" it turns out that they are living in the present in a town sucluded from today. And the monsters are really the higher ups dressed in costums to keep people inside. I dont know why people thought this was a crappy twist.

Ghosted by Zorkporker @ 08/04/2005 5:55 PM EDT

Ross and Rachel get back together, again

Ghosted by dork @ 08/04/2005 6:25 PM EDT

I don’t think anyone’s posted Cowboy Bebop yet? Spike gets himself killed because he’s just not ready to give up on the leather pantsuit for the yellow hotpants. That stubborn idiot.
Just finished this one yesterday: In Like Water for Chocolate Tita and Pedro finally make love freely and their passion ignites a volcanic explosion that burns for a week and consumes the entire ranch. Seriously.
The feds arrest Johnnie Sak, but not until after Tony Uncle Johnny shoots Tony B. in the face.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 08/04/2005 7:55 PM EDT

Sunnydale is a hole in the ground. Buffy just smiles.

Joss Whedon gets pissed off at his show not being renewed and leaves Angel, Spike, Ilyria/Fred, (and possibly Gunn, I don’t remember) about to be completely annhilated by countless baddies. I felts so cheated.

Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 08/04/2005 8:19 PM EDT

Real Genius: instead of laser-vaporizing a human, Chris Knight and Mitch Taylor reidirect it to Professor Jerry Hathaway’s house where it pops a zillion pounds of popcorn bursting the sides of the house. Lazlo Hollyfeld win’s frito lay’s contest. Mitch gets his girl. Tears for Fears sings.

Ghosted by kb @ 08/04/2005 8:21 PM EDT

Hellz yeah! ^^^ Now that’s what I’m talking about!

Ghosted by kidneyboy @ 08/04/2005 10:21 PM EDT

Cartmans father is his mother.

Ghosted by Ed @ 08/04/2005 10:38 PM EDT

In Sandman, Morpheus refuses to change, and realizes that he must die and a new Sandman must be born. He takes the infant Daniel, who becomes the new Sandman… and it’s quite possibly the best thing I’ve ever read, including classic novels.

Ghosted by VeganMike @ 08/04/2005 11:12 PM EDT

I just watched Golden Palace for the first time, and it’s the greatest show ever. Cheech snapping on Blanche! Is he supposed to be Cuban? Does this show pick up when Dorothy goes off with Leslie Nielsen?

Darlene actually married Mark, Dan really died, Jackie was gay and it was all a goddamn story.

Best bit in Charlie was Violet’s inflation. The Christopher Lee flashbacks didn’t work IMO and I was cringing during good chunks of the song numbers.

Thelma and Louise drive into the Grand Canyon.

Hero: He’s lying and really there to assasinate the king but he falters and gets taken down by approximately four hundred thousand arrows and the moral of the story is yay communism.

Michael Jackson has scary wolf eyes and Vincent Price laughs.

Kill Bill 2: After a pretty surreal reunion Bea and Bill hash it out and she kills him using Pai Mei’s exploding heart technique. No one dies by sword in the entire movie (that I can remember).

Way too much about Potter: Horcruxes are objects that conceal part of someone’s soul. It’s basically an abomination of magic and the spell is accomplished with a murder. No wizard is believed to have ever made more than one, and Volds has six, plus one soul fragment in his body. Each one mutilated his soul and made him less human (Dumbledore would never have a Horcrux). Harry destroyed one of Voldemort’s in Chamber of Secrets (the diary) and Dumbledore destroyed one (a ring) but it cost him his hand. Dumbledore thought the others were a locket that belonged to Slytherin and a cup that belonged to Hufflepuff, Nagini the snake and something unknown that once belonged to Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. Harry and Dumbledore are out trying to capture the locket when it hits the fan, but the one they fight to get turns out to be a fake, with a note from what is pretty widely assumed to be Sirius’s bro inside telling Voldie to jump in a lake. Dumbledore is most certainly dead and gone. As to whether Snape’s true true true motives I won’t be convinced until the next book but I’m positive that Malfoy’s mom was sent to Spinner’s End purposely by the Dark Lord. And we still don’t know what meant AD’s triumphant gleam in book 4.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 08/04/2005 11:22 PM EDT

O’Doyle Rules! O’Doyle Rules O’Doyle Rules O’Doyle….KABOOM!

Ghosted by Meatball @ 08/04/2005 11:39 PM EDT

tomorrow is friday.

Ghosted by nomoresteam @ 08/05/2005 1:57 AM EDT

*reads long post by Ass Like That*

I’ve never heard of 90 percent of those movies. Can anyone identify them all? Spiders explode on Gene Simmons? WTH?

Ghosted by Mars @ 08/05/2005 2:04 AM EDT

Re: Mars Re: Ass Like That-

i cant name all of them but heres what i could off the top of my head. and much kudos to ALT.

the wizard

the curse? or cursed? never saw it.

???

uh the village duh

war of the worlds and the son should of died!! wtf speilberg?!?

sneakers??

???

bones?

???

???

a clockwork orange

demolition man!! and what was the deal with the 3 sea shells?!?

???

???

???

???

there was no prequel trilogy. especially no episode 3 revenge of the sith

???

???

dogma? clerks? dont ask me to remember a kevin smith film please

final destination 2

interview with a vampire.

labyrinth?

???

hide and seek

run lola run

eyes wide shut

boiler room

i know this one… its on the tip of my tounge. damnit!!

???????

not sure. blade?

city of angels?

haha se7en.

???

apocalypse now??

ugh. men in black

terminator 2 and amen.

Ghosted by evadrad @ 08/05/2005 3:03 AM EDT

The "disappearing pig" legerdemain that Willow couldn’t get right at the fair at the beginning of the movie is what saves baby Elora from being destroyed by Bavmorda.

After surviving the SOL’s crash to earth, Mike, Tom, and Crow get a very small apartment together, choose not to invest in Gypsy’s very successful business venture, and find a sort of contentment in doing what they always did– sit together and riff on movies.

True to his nature, Ataru never tells Lum he loves her– but it is an unspoken show of love that saves the town, when the horns that she shed fall out of his pocket as he calls for her one last time, crying that he’ll never forget her. Lum shuts off the whole process and runs to be with him… only to have to run away from the whole town, howling for both their bloods. As they flee, Lum says confidently that she’ll make Ataru say it one day; smirking, he replies, "I’ll say it on my deathbed."

Eggs are poison to Nomes. The Nome King accidentally swallows one as he attempts to eat Jack Pumpkinhead, and he dies gruesomely. The girl who rescued Dorothy from the clinic is in fact Ozma, the rightful ruler of Oz. Dorothy gives her the ruby slippers, which allow Ozma to return her to Oz any time she likes. After returning to Kansas, Dorothy’s ‘illness’ is cured, because now she knows she doesn’t have to prove Oz exists anymore.

Optimus Prime’s nightmarish premonition comes true, as he finds himself with no other option but to throw himself to the ravening Swarm, and be eaten alive. However, this proves to be the key, because when the Swarm comes to his Matrix, it finally finds what it has been missing, and speeds off into the universe, now with a purpose to its existence, rebuilding Optimus Prime in a body befitting a combat hero as a farewell gift. Lord Jhiaxus is dead; his lieutenant Rook reports this to a vast, shadowy figure identified as Liege Maximo, who declares that he would know if Megatron was dead, for Megatron is his offspring!

The reason Bill and Ted only mess things up as badly as they do is because Little Ted and Little Bill, as adults, have made it their job to follow their teenage dads through time and clean up their messes. Although Thaddeus Preston was miserable after Missy left him, he hits it off with the Grim Reaper’s friend Nature.

The treasure behind the Thousand-Year Door is actually the ghost of the demoness who destroyed the original town a thousand years ago. She was placed there by four heroes, who were cursed for their good deed by being transformed into black chests– the very ones that granted Mario his paper powers. Vivian, Marian, and Beldam, the Shadow Sirens, are the servants of this demoness, the Shadow Queen, and they were manipulating the Xes from the beginning. The reason behind Peach’s kidnapping– the demoness needed a body, and Peach was to be the donor. Peach is the final boss.

Ghosted by G'Tron @ 08/05/2005 9:51 AM EDT

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