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The Official Spoiler Thread.

Been super slammed at work. Here is my tale of woe: This morning, I snuck outside for the day's first ultra-quick under-the-radar cigarette break, and what do I see across the street? Every big time advertising icon imaginable, in full costume, from Mr. Peanut to Tony the Tiger, the Crash Test Dummies, the Energizer Bunny and beyond. My own personal Babylon, right across the fucking street, and I didn't have time to visit, much less run upstairs to grab my cell phone camera. Oh, poor me. And you thought those Krauts in the Third World had it bad. No idea what the celebration was about, but a coworker soon appeared in the office holding a pair of foam Energizer Bunny ears. Augh I hate him.

Sort-of Survey: Want to try something different with this thread, so BE WARNED before you read it. It's the SPOILER thread. Consider the comments section for this entry your one-time ticket to ask your fellow readers for the scoop on anything you want to know from all walks of entertainment -- if you're looking to be spoiled, ask away. Ask about movie endings. Ask about what happened on last week's Six Feet Under. I'm not sure how this will turn out, but it could be interesting. DO NOT READ the comments if you're avoiding spoilers for anything in particular at this point in time. It's all fair game. Doesn't have to be new stuff, either. Personally, I've always wondered how Predator 2 ended.

Posted by Matt on 08/02/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 195 comments

How does "Mermaid in the manhole" end?

Chestnuts roasted by Saf @ 08/03/2005 8:32 AM

The Titanic sinks, the North wins the Civil War, and Jesus dies at the end of "the Passion of the Christ"

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 08/03/2005 8:36 AM

Let’s see…

Mara, you’re obviously talking about The Stranger :)

I had the ending to Sixth Sense after the first scene too… not very much of a twist, and the whole movie was boring because no one but the kid could talk to Bruce Willis. Would’ve been a great 5 minute short, but sadly it wasn’t.

I loved TigerSharks! It was part of a longer show called The Comic Strip that also featured Karate Cat, which was my favorite when I was 7.

In Million Dollar Baby, the main character loses the title bout, where she’s paralyzed from the neck down. She then asks her coach to kill her… after deliberation, he does.

As far as Harry Potter goes, Snape takes "the unbreakable oath" to help Malfoy kill Dumbledore. Since Malfoy is just a kid, he’s not terribly successful, and just when we think Snape is going to put a stop to things he kills Dumbledore. Harry tries to fight him off, but is completely unsuccessful. He decides not to go to Hogwarts next year… instead, he and Hermione and Ron are going to seek out and destroy Voldemort.

Chestnuts roasted by VeganMike @ 08/03/2005 9:13 AM

dave:
You forgot to mention the Alien ("Alien" alien) skull on the ship at the end of Predator 2, but that’s probably well known by now anyways.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 08/03/2005 9:29 AM

I haven’t seen any of the 4th and 5th seasons of Six Feet Under because I don’t have HBO anymore. But I’ve been watching the commercials online. So Nate really dies, eh? From what I saw on the commercials it just looked like he was in a comma.

Dumbledore "appears" to die in the Half-Blood Prince but I don’t think he really did. Dumbledore told Malfoy that he could make it appear that that Malfoy was dead so that Voldemort wouldn’t kill him. Which leads me to believe that the whole thing between he and Snape was a hoax because Snape took the unbreakable oath at the beggining and it was the only way Snape could get out of it without dying himself. Now Dumbledore is free to find the other Horcruxes covert style.

http://www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com">Dumbledoreisnotdead.com

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 08/03/2005 9:31 AM

Sam Beckett never returned home on Quantum Leap. But, then again, I think EVERYONE has seen that finale.

I remember one of my ex-co-workers at the video store I used to work at (he’s no longer there either) joking about how "Passion of the christ" had "a suprise ending–you didn’t see it coming" "laughs at every turn" and "Jodie Foster–that’s right–Jodie Foster–and she wasn’t even in the movie!"

Bill Cosby is actually alive at the end of "Ghost Dad." I heard this co-worker use the words "deep" "a cinematic masterpiece" and "poetic" to describe the movie.

Oh yeah, before I forget, Pee-Wee Herman was cancelled after he was found in that XXX theater.

And my boyfriend opened a movie theater door that was showing "War of the Worlds" just to say "It’s a shame that Tom Cruise dies at the end!" We don’t know if he actually dies though. Great joke to say the least.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 08/03/2005 9:33 AM

Last Sunday’s episode of Six Feet Under was a little surprising. I was expecting Nate’s brain thingy to come back, but when he woke up from the coma, I thought he’d be okay. But he had to emotionally destroy Brenda first, then die. Brenda hasn’t been my favorite character, but she’s really gotten her act together over the last year. Becoming a psychiartist, taking care of Nate’s daughter, Maia. Anywho, I thought Nate had been a whiney dick for a while. I wonder what will happen to Maia now?

Chestnuts roasted by Traynor @ 08/03/2005 9:34 AM

The Joker dies at the end, and the Riddler gets put in an insane asylum. Sorry.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 08/03/2005 9:34 AM

I didn’t read all the comments before. So forgive me if this has already been said. Harry Potter and Ginny Weasly start dating in the Half-Blood Prince but break up at the end so that Voldemort won’t come after Ginny in an attempt to get to Harry.

Chestnuts roasted by George @ 08/03/2005 9:38 AM

Water kills the Aliens in "Signs".

Chestnuts roasted by Ailen @ 08/03/2005 9:43 AM

Mogwai multiplies when you throw water on them, and you can’t feed them after midnight.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 08/03/2005 9:50 AM

It’s a cookbook.
We were the invaders.
They’re dolls in a bin.
He breaks his glasses.
It’s a martian zoo.
And one of my personal favorites, Angela’s a boy.

Chestnuts roasted by TheFatboy @ 08/03/2005 10:21 AM

In Jaws the movie, it is chief Brody who kills the shark with a rifle and compressed air tank. Quint gets ‘et’ by the shark and Hooper and Brody survive to tell the tale.

In Jaws the book, Hooper goes down in the shark tank but the shark simply rips that apart and eats Hooper.Brody and Quint leave and then come back the next day. The Shark thens jumps onto the boat. Quint grabs a harpoon and fatally wounds it. It slides back into the briney deep but the harpoon rope wraps around Quint’s leg and drags him down too. The Shark then reappears, dragging the dead Quint and makes one final run at Brody. He shoots it with a rifle and it stops two feet away from him. The end.

Chestnuts roasted by TheDarkCarnival @ 08/03/2005 10:43 AM

Always prefered the movie Jaws over the novel.

In the end of the movie Zulu, everyone dances.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/03/2005 11:17 AM

No one’s answered consulatsunset about Haunted yet.

The writers all cut parts of themselves off, sabotage the food supply, and sit around thinking up new ways to hurt themselves. The plan is to make out the guy that set the thing up (can’t remember names) out to be some insane sadist that locked them up. He dies. So they make his aid the bad guy. They do nothing but cut parts of themselves off and make up stories about their abuse so they can sell their story when they get out. They also off each other so that the royalties get split less ways.

No one rescues them and they kill the sponsor (who wasn’t really dead) so he can’t tell their story. I don’t remember the exact ending because it was dull. I was more offended by the lack of anything interesting than anything else in the book.

Chestnuts roasted by devi @ 08/03/2005 12:28 PM

Anyone seen Saw? I have my theories on who the killer is, but have never seen the movie. Let me know!

Chestnuts roasted by danimal @ 08/03/2005 12:53 PM

Has anyone heard of the toy line StarCom? And what happens at the end of Blade Runner? I haven’t bathed in two days.

Chestnuts roasted by darth poop @ 08/03/2005 1:00 PM

Danimal: OLD GUY.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/03/2005 1:04 PM

Sandra Bullock’s boyfriend dies when his IV is switched in the hospital, but then again, Dennis Miller dies in every movie he’s in.

TheFatboy–"He breaks his glasses is Christmas Story," and "We were the invaders" is "the Others," what are the other ones??????

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 08/03/2005 1:13 PM

Okay, can someone tell me the plots and endings to all Horror movies from the past two years? My wife refuses to watch horror flicks and it is hard to stay up late when little girls won’t go to bed. Add a baby to that mix and well…help!

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 08/03/2005 1:13 PM

Here’s a couple of things I wouldn’t mind being spoiled on –

1) Gimme some overall thoughts on Wonka. Best/worst scenes, etc?

2) What happens in the first few episodes of Entourage on HBO?

3) Did Golden Palace have a "finale" episode?

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/03/2005 1:20 PM

I forgot the most disappointing one: Kevin and Winnie DON’T end up together!!!!! That made me give up on the idea of true love. sad.

And as for wonka, I hated it! i might not have hated it if i hadn’t seen the original, but i feel that the new one is quite inferior. i don’t buy johnny depp as willy wonka. he killed the character. i could have done without the addition of wonka’s father to the story too.

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 08/03/2005 1:33 PM

Hot Rod opens the Matrix, Stan Bush sings, and Unicron blows up real good.
The GhostBusters come out of the building covered in marshmallow. Ray Parker Jr sings.
David Byrne talks about forgetting a place to remember how it really is. The Talking Heads sing.
Jack Burton gives another one of his patented CB speeches, as a Chinese Sasquatch rides on the back of his cab. John Carpenter sings.
D comes to Leila’s funeral and talks to her granddaughter. Left Hand gets in the last word. Nobody sings.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/03/2005 1:35 PM

The Soylent Green is made of people.
Was I the only one that laughed at that?
Matt- Willy Wonka has flashbacks to when he was a child dreams of being a chocolateer, those are pretty funny. The set design is also great.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/03/2005 1:36 PM

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