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LodgeNet! (Bored in Atlantic City.)

Happy 4th. There's a new article in town, detailing my experiences bored and alone in an Atlantic City hotel room with only a television pay-per-entertainment interface called "LodgeNet" to entertain me. It's the story of bad movies, porn, video games and hotel guest surveys.

Posted by Matt on 07/04/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 91 comments

Glad you will finally get to see it, Erik!

Can’t wait to read this article….I could use some cheering up today!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/05/2005 4:32 AM

i had a shitty time in A.C. this weekend :(

Chestnuts roasted by Shannon @ 07/05/2005 10:42 AM

Saw REALLY old sugar free cherry jello at a corner market while out of town last week. It was pre nutrition facts and bragging about the nutrisweet it was made from. . . thought of XE

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/05/2005 10:58 AM

Never been in a place with such a thing. Sound like a great way to waste time/money. But usually I lug around many varied things like a mini TV, a GBA, portable DVD player, or whatever I feel can allieviate bordom. Latex Housewives? Throw in some spanking with a Hot Wheels track, and you have my interest.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/05/2005 11:58 AM

Oh man, this article was the best. I used to frequent AC with my parents as a child – and being the only child, when alone, I sure fuckin’ hit up their PPV services. Porn and shitty movies indeed.

Word.

Chestnuts roasted by Redladder @ 07/05/2005 1:13 PM

too bad the trip sucked. sounds like half the trips i go on.

Chestnuts roasted by matt g @ 07/05/2005 2:05 PM

I’ve never actually tried using that crap. I suppose I will have to. And soon. Like right now.

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 07/05/2005 2:08 PM

Yeah. I hear ya, Matt! I once had to check into a hotel at the Vancouver Airport. It was a damn nice hotel,but there was nothing to do. So what else could I do? I went to the hotel bar for awhile, drinking $12 maragaritias. After that place closed, I went back to my room and drank $6 SMirnoff Ices from the mini-bar and watched crap on the LodgeNet, including porn (yeah yeah, I was bored).

However, I gotta say, I enjoyed the fact that bathrrom doors were set up in such a way that you could see the TV from the luxurious bath tub (this was a DAMN nice hotel; expensive too).

During the day at this hotel, I either watched regular TV or explored the airport (or at least the parts which they would let me explore without a boarding pass).

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/05/2005 2:27 PM

OUTSTANDING article. Back in the day, this used to be called Spectravision, which, of course, we dubbed Spanktravision. Yeah, the Borgata’s not all it’s cracked up to be, plus they raise the minimum bets to $20 at the craps tables early in the afternoon, which is too much for me. The Old Homestead Steakhouse, though, is just . . . unbelievably delicious

One comment:

Why were you making tacos in the hotel room? Looks like a bottle of Tanqueray next to the tube in Main Menu picture, then in later pictures the bottle’s gone and there’s a Taco Bell taco kit in it’s place. Or is that an Ultimate Nachos kit? Either way, seems like a weird product to bring to a hotel. :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 07/05/2005 2:28 PM

Shannon, too bad you didn’t have a good time. I went on Sunday, and had a great time. We went to the beach bars and then the new Havana district at the Tropicana. It was very, very nice, and a lot of good bars. Way, way too crowded though.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 07/05/2005 2:52 PM

Didn’t you talk about the LodgeNet before?

As for the video games being old, nope, can’t complain. I play SNES games all the time. Not for 7 dollars an hour. I can complain about that.

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 07/05/2005 3:17 PM

Yes!!! Finaly saw Episode III!!!

What can I say? Hmm…The "nooooooooooooooooooo" thing wasn’t too bad, but it certainly was corny.

The lightsaber duels were pretty cool, but I think Dooku and Grevious should have fought better. Oh and Windu went out like a sucka…through that window.

Okay, I’ll admit, I cried at the end. But I have an excuse, my son is coming soon, so perhaps I was getting practice. Oh hell, I can’t hold it in, I’m a crier. Simon Burch, Steel Magnolias, when the Terminator lowers himself in the lava in Terminator 2: Judgement Day, even when Jean Claude Van Damme loses his best friend in Bloodsport I start the waterworks.

The best thing about Star Wars is that by introducing them to my stepdaughters, I believe I have grown closer to them. Plus, they do some cute things.

1. Kaitie (4 years old) walks around in her underwear and sticks the lightsaber in them. She then tells her sister that she is in fact, Darth Vader.
2. Kaitie is a Master with the Yoda’s (she calls him Yoga) lightsaber. I have welts to prove it.
3. The best exchange so far:

(I walk into the room. Kaitie is banging the Electronic Yoda lightsaber against the wall).

Me: What are you doing?
Kaitie: Trying to make Yoga talk.
Me: Who?
Kaitie: Yoga, the little green guy! (Bangs it harder)
Me: Kaitie…(I take it away and switch the lever and give it back to her. She swings away).
Yoda: Powerful you are…
Kaitie: Yoga!!! (keeps banging away)
Me: There you go…(as I turn to leave she stops)
Kaitie: Okay, now go get your lightsaber…(comes flailing away with the lightsaber in my direction and hits me).
Me: Owww
Kaitie: Hee hee hee!!!
Yoga: You are reckless!
Me: You can say that again!!! (I retreat up the stairs.

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July!!! Oh, and pray the baby comes soon, wife doesn’t want to take no pay maternity leave!!!

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 07/05/2005 3:58 PM

I seem to remember being tempted by not necessarrily LodgeNet, but something like it in a dull Pensylvanian hotel. My parents, unfortunately, were’nt the money having type so I just had to sit there and look at that beautiful NES controller resting on the dresser next to the TV. My newly acquired capsules that grew into sponge animals were hardly good enough to take my eyes off of it either. *sigh*
Hope you all had a Great 4th!!!
-Lucky

Chestnuts roasted by Redlightbulbs @ 07/05/2005 4:09 PM

Have any of you seen the new Corn Pops commercial with the hip-hop music video parody?
Funny stuff. Reminds me of the cereal commercials from the early 90s.
It’s a pops thang! Sweet crunchy blang-blaaaaang!

Chestnuts roasted by Ekkostar @ 07/05/2005 4:44 PM

Matt, what did your parents do that had them having comped hotels?

Also, that Strobe firework from last years fireworks article? Have you used it yet?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/05/2005 5:28 PM

geez Matt, I think you ended up spending more money in the hotel room renting porn, movies, & games

Chestnuts roasted by celery @ 07/05/2005 6:54 PM

i was at a red roof inn last night, and they have the same system, only even lamer. there was no internet, but i could play SUPER NINTENDO for seven bucks an hour. solid value.

Chestnuts roasted by paulo @ 07/05/2005 7:21 PM

Hey Matt? http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.gsp?product_id=3864160&cat=109717&type=2&dept=4096&path=0%3A4096%3A41938%3A109708%3A111530%3A109717">Your worst nightmare has come true.

Chestnuts roasted by Kitsune Sniper @ 07/05/2005 8:14 PM

Kitsune Sniper: "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Erik-When is the due date again?
Also, I am proud of you for admiting to crying during BLOODSPORT. Although I think most would cry thinking about the time spent watching the movie that they can never get back. :(

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/05/2005 10:03 PM

Majorwitz- Dang. All this talk about your arriving baby, and still no baby. Try punching her in the stomach. Maybe that’ll cause her to vomit the baby. Just kidding. I’m generally against abortion.

Maybe it’s just that he’s a boy, but his "you know" needs some more growth, so he’s gotts stay in a little longer.

Okay, I seriously think I’m on crack right now, cuz I’m thinking up all these weird ideas. I need a drink.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/05/2005 10:55 PM

Well…. At least it’s widescreen, eh?
I’ll go hide now.

Chestnuts roasted by Joy @ 07/06/2005 12:08 PM

I don’t like to admit that there are good points to Ep. I, but the whole "will I ever see you again" bit tore me a new one.

Ep. III I was too freaked out to emote anything other than regret over my personal bouts of holding onto things I fear to lose.

But I lose it over Neo and Morpheus’ farewell and Trinity’s Death. So, there ya go.

"No the honor is still mine"
"Not without you"

sigh :( *sniff*

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/06/2005 12:25 PM

Never been to A.C. but I dont much care for gambling.

Now old video games? There’s something I can get behind.

I was never allowed to play the games they had in hotel rooms… I mean, admittedly, the prices are ridiculous. I remember once or twice bringing my Sega Nomad along to keep me entertained, though.

That was before… the Accident. The screen busted (though the backlight still works) and I’ve never been able to play it since. Rest in peace, good buddy :(

I was one of those kids who wouldn’t think about ordering porn on a hotel television. Not because I wasn’t interested, but because I knew a trail would lead back to me.

So flash forward several years, and there’s free porn for everyone online! I’m still not sure that’s going to prove a good thing in the decades to come when they conduct studies on our generation.

Garbage Pail Kids on DVD, and I STILL don’t have my ONE FUCKING SEASON of Nowhere Man? QUIT DRAGGING YOUR FEET!

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 07/06/2005 12:36 PM

Constantine on the 19th!!!

Our Lady Peace–Healthy In Paranoid Times on August 30th. Finally.

The Ataris–Welcome the Night

sometime soon supposedly. I haven’t been this amped up for something since Nimrod. But Kris won’t even speculate a date :(

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/06/2005 12:44 PM

that was by far one of the tightest and most well written posts anywhere. Kudos to you. Oh, and my Pikachu can beat down your Pikachu. I played SMB endlessly as you did. Happy posting! (no, I’m not gay. straight people say that too.)

Chestnuts roasted by Xexeter @ 07/06/2005 1:28 AM

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