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Cherry Cracker Kool-Aid!

Man, I totally don't have any fireworks this year. Zip. There may be a few smoke bombs and cobra snakes leftover from last year's Fireworks article, but with that kind of ammo, I'd only be allowed to huddle by the bush with the six-year-old sparkler twirlers. However, I stand confident that I'll be spending the holiday as the sole celebrator who gets to drink fireworks, evidenced in the latest Kool-Aid review. Cherry Cracker arrived in 1991, with images of Uncle Sam and the Kool-Aid Man riding a red rocket right into your god damned mouth. It was the punch that popped, or at least, the punch that would've popped if the ingredients weren't fifteen years old.

Posted by Matt on 07/03/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 44 comments

Uncle Sam and the Kool-Aid Man. What could be more American???

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/03/2005 12:36 PM

Well, at least you tried, even if the pop rocks didn’t quite work. I loved the inclusion of the movie – it’s like I was there, experiencing the thrill of Cherry Cracker with you. Coincidentially, I own the same pitcher that you poured water with and it currently holds regular cherry Kool-Aid.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/03/2005 12:45 PM

Matt love the kool-aid and cereal toy thing. Although seriously I just saw your one about Lemon-Lime Kool-Aid. Just wrong man that is the best kool-aid known to man. Its just annoying that its hard to find where I live. It will be on the shelf one week and gone for 4 months. Kind of like Count Chocula.

Chestnuts roasted by LordSorrow @ 07/03/2005 12:54 PM

holy cow an xe movie…i think thats a first???? whats sad is i wouldn’t be able to drink it cuz theres lactose in it!!!! a milk sugar in Kool aid???? actually they are used in poprocks, sad to say….as far as that order form goes..I am waiting to see a kool aid t-shirt i used to have…it was of the kool-aid man but done in that sort of marilyn monroe andy warhol way

Chestnuts roasted by gervinator @ 07/03/2005 1:13 PM

Eh, what can I say? I’m a Canada Day kind of girl.

Matt, were the pop rocks kind of stuck together before you added the liquid? Because sometimes with things that old you have to smash them up while they’re still dry to avoid getting hard globs. I wish I could tell you I learned that from Gourmet magazine rather than by drinking any old crap I find in the cupboards. And, on that note:

Crystal Light Lemon-Lime is pretty darned good. Of course, the cannister I was drinking it from was ten years old, and that was five years ago, so maybe now it’s just crappy like their "shake your bottle" commercials. But, if not, it’s a pretty good drink to knock back after you’ve been mowing the lawn.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 07/03/2005 1:17 PM

Have a new Kool-Aid desktop! Thanks Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 07/03/2005 1:28 PM

Nice. I love the video. Sure there might not have been kool-aid fireworks but you got a nice shot of the shards of glass clanging about the pitcher.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 07/03/2005 2:19 PM

Even with expired Pop Rocks, this is better than the annual "Let’s Try To Kill kingklash With A Badly-Aimed Firework" tradition of the past few years. I have seen my Doom, and it has "Emits Showers Of Sparks" written on it.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash, a fun trick noisemaker! @ 07/03/2005 2:31 PM

Do Americans make fireworks or do the Communist have all the fun in that?

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 07/03/2005 3:18 PM

Anybody who lives near a Dairy Queen remember the Blizzard they had 3 or 4 years ago? The one with Grape Kool-Aid and Poprocks?

Man was that stuff ever good! Evidently, they stopped making it though…bastards!

Chestnuts roasted by The Cause @ 07/03/2005 3:25 PM

Mmm pop rocks…since I have no plans for the 4th, maybe I’ll try a diy and pour Pop Rocks into Kool Aid.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/03/2005 3:48 PM

I was thinking the exact same thing Mara.

I’ll probably add watermelon Pop Rocks to cherry Kool-aid. I miss watermelon/cherry. It’s way better than invisible watermelon/kiwi.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 07/03/2005 5:10 PM

I’m loving the new Kool Aid features. I remember Cherry Cracker too well. My mother bought us about three dozen packets of that stuff. It was marked down to about a dime per package after that initial run. Because it lasted about six summers she didn’t buy any other flavors until we finished that crap.

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 07/03/2005 5:23 PM

The Cause – You bet I remember that Blizzard. Typically, I shy away from fruity ice cream flavors (I’m a chocolate girl at heart), but I couldn’t pass that limited edition opportunity up. I kept opening my mouth so my husband could hear the crackling. Apparently, Pop Rocks make me 10 years old.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 07/03/2005 6:02 PM

Didn’t see that blizzard, but anyone else remember the Fireworks Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream? Pop Rocks coated in red, white and blue "white" chocolate in vanilla ice cream. I freaking loved the stuff, and it didn’t hurt that my sister worked there at the time.

Lori, pop rocks have the same effect on me.

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 07/03/2005 6:33 PM

Im a Canada Day kinda guy I suppose… you know, being canadian and all. :D

Unfortunatly I didn’t get off work in time to cash my pay on thursday so I’ve been broke all weekend. I think I’ll celebrate july 4th this year.. :P

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 07/03/2005 6:42 PM

GOZER

Good luck in the working world. I’ll be there shortly myself. If I get the job, it’ll entail driving around and talking with people. And its part time.

Sure its not a record store gig, but it’ll stave off the "why did you get a degree if you wanted to work in a record store and start a band?" crap I get constantly. For awhile, anyway :P

"g——, that is some cold s—"

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative derives his dreams from High Fidelity @ 07/03/2005 7:24 PM

so what do Canadians do for Canada Day…
I know it sounds kinda daft, but for a spaniard like me it really turns out that I know nothing of that seemingly special day, and considering I love Canada it’s an event I should know at least something about!!!!

Here in Spain it’s so long that we got "independant" that we don’t even remember much about the whole fuss nor from who did we get independant…it’s more like "well what if we, bunch of crappy regions unite and call ourselves Spain, you know, it could really catch on…it gives a ring…people would say "Oh, South of Europe really iS Pain"" and probably thought that was amusing like 900 years ago!

Chestnuts roasted by melonian @ 07/03/2005 8:53 PM

Kool-Aid is to sugar and water as Hamburger Helper is to ground beef.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 07/03/2005 9:07 PM

First off, I’m a Canada guy too–that means beer, not Kool-Aid. Unless Mountain Berry comes back…

Second, did anyone else read the directions? What exactly would happen if you used a metal container? Do the Pop Rocks gain sentience or begin a fusion reaction or something?

Matt, in the interest of the most holy linking of UNSWEETENED DRINKS & SCIENCE I think we need an answer to this.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 07/04/2005 12:06 PM

A rare X-E video clip; right on!

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 07/04/2005 12:08 PM

Sean, I’d bet one of these two bullshit answers could be proved correct, but I’m not sure which:

1) Whatever is in it would stain metal.

2) Whatever is in it would decompose metal on the spot, mix it with the liquid and poison you.

I’m betting on the former, because #2 sounds like a situation where fine print just wouldn’t suffice.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/04/2005 12:12 PM

Today I went into Manhattan today to see Spamalot (had tickets since march). It was an awesome show except for one thing: Hank Azaria apparantly left the show after the tonys to do the simpsons again and I had no idea this happened.

Everything else kicked ass. After the show, I got 3 castmembers to sign my playbill (hank’s replacement, Sara Ramirez and David Hyde Pierce) I even got a couple of pics with David!

Also, I saw Spiderbum while I was in Times Square. He is definately freaky.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/04/2005 12:15 PM

Hey all you Canadians – I’ve been poking around on the internet about old Kool-Aid flavors, and some sites seem to imply that there are some extinct U.S. flavors that are still sold in Canada (i.e. Purplesaurous Rex). Can any of you verify if this is true?

Knegative
Not to thread-jack, but in the past two days I’ve watched The Big Empty, Stateside, and Get Carter. RLC was pretty great in Stateside, but I thought the movie was pretty so-so. I really liked The Big Empty, and Get Carter was o.k. Looking forward to Blow Dry, Bookies, and Hi-Line this week.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/04/2005 12:25 PM

Invader Norbert

I saw Spamalot when I was in NYC a few months ago. Freakin’ awesome. It was so funny, even though I’ve seen The Holy Grail about 100 times.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/04/2005 12:27 PM

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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 3rd, 2005 at 12:32 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.