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Cherry Cracker Kool-Aid!

Man, I totally don't have any fireworks this year. Zip. There may be a few smoke bombs and cobra snakes leftover from last year's Fireworks article, but with that kind of ammo, I'd only be allowed to huddle by the bush with the six-year-old sparkler twirlers. However, I stand confident that I'll be spending the holiday as the sole celebrator who gets to drink fireworks, evidenced in the latest Kool-Aid review. Cherry Cracker arrived in 1991, with images of Uncle Sam and the Kool-Aid Man riding a red rocket right into your god damned mouth. It was the punch that popped, or at least, the punch that would've popped if the ingredients weren't fifteen years old.

Posted by Matt on 07/03/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 44 comments

I thread-jack all the time. Everyone ignores me except you, so we’re really not interupting anything. They know to politely ingnore :)

I respect your opinion, but Stateside is my new great Rachael Hope. And as always its personal stuff:

*The stuff she says and he writes make great lyrics = the dialogue is funny and poignent.
*I can relate to so much of their relationship.
*He saves her and she saves him.

I haven’t seen Hi-Line. Lemme know what you think.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/04/2005 12:43 PM


I saw Spamalot when I was in NYC a few months ago. Freakin’ awesome. It was so funny, even though I’ve seen The Holy Grail about 100 times.

Me too. I got the DVD too.

Only thing missing from the Knights of The Round Table song was the one prisoner clapping in the dungeon. That’s just a classic Monty Python moment.

…and then came the CHUDs

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/04/2005 1:04 AM


Just tried to watch the cherry crackle movie, no picture just sound. Sounded like a bath running. . . scary drink.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/04/2005 1:04 AM


MATT! You should totably have a contest to win a packet of Cherry Cracker. Or, if you don’t want to part with a pack, don’t. No teeth off my feet.

Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 07/04/2005 1:15 AM


Sorry for doubly thingy, but I just watched the video, and that plastic jug with the blue and yellow cap? I have that. But, because I don’t have a glass pitcher, the plastic one is what I have my Kool-Aid in.

Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 07/04/2005 1:21 AM


Family Dollar had a sale = Bonding Time on the X-E boards.

But despite the cynical comment: I’ve got one too!! It has Iced Tea in it.

Matt, Gozer, & Me: BFF

I’m the rogue, loner who doesn’t follow the groups rules because Kool-Aid requires way too much sugar. Hall Moniter–health conscious, yet mysterious :D

I am soooo stupid it hurts.

Chestnuts roasted by ThatHallMoniterYouWantedToSuckerPunchInGradeSchool @ 07/04/2005 2:00 AM


See, I am stupid. Something tells me Tom No Like I left him out.

Sorry for the exclusion and the horrible pun-like use of your name.

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/04/2005 2:05 AM


Sucker Punchy Hall Monitor Person:

Those almost read like several haikus (is haikus the plural, or is it just haiku?).

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/04/2005 2:42 AM


Wow, I totally didn’t plan on that. But I can’t help but read them like that, now.

Hall Moniter will suffice. Think about it like ATHF. They rarely call Shake, Master Shake.

I started out as a way to point out obvious infractions in the rules of Surveys without seeming like a smart—. Guess I have a life of my own now, huh?

Yes, I am a rogue personality of a regular X-E blogger.

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/04/2005 3:35 AM


In response to the metal container question, if I remember right, ALL Kool-Aid instructions have such a warning. Being one to tempt fate, I disregarded said warning and ended up with crappy tasting Kool-Aid. It just gives it some sort of metalic overtaste. I think the same is said of all fruit juices, partial fruit juices, and fruit drinks of questionable nutritional value.

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 07/04/2005 6:07 AM


Check how many types of acids are in Kool-Aid. That’s a lot of metal reaction going on there. Tonight is Anadarko’s big 4th celebration, so it’s down to the park to watch the ‘works. and maybe attend a turtle race.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/04/2005 11:38 AM


DUDE-
You wanna go to the Meadowlands Fair tonight? Gimme a call, I’ll leave my number on your never on cell. I think this is your quickest form of communication.

Chestnuts roasted by KEV @ 07/04/2005 12:32 PM


I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 07/04/2005 3:21 PM


I was told once that somebody put koolaid in one of those large metal coolers and everyone that drank it got violently ill, I never heard of anybody drinking it and just complaining how crappy it tasted. You might of just got lucky. I also have that plastic pitcher, but the yellow part is slightly different, I guess they are really popular.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/04/2005 8:08 PM


I totally know who the hall moniter is….

Chestnuts roasted by but i ain't saying @ 07/06/2005 2:00 AM


Gee, was it the blatently revealing post in the LodgeNet entry?

Just trying to bring the sides back together, so I don’t double annoy everyone :P

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/06/2005 9:18 AM


You know, we had a hall monitor in high school that used to chase kids out of the 3rd floor bathrooms (which were only open between classes). She chased me out once, but I was the one who wasn’t smoking. She also got pissed when I was at my locker during classes (I came to school late).

Anyways, she looked like a rat, so a classmate called her "Bathroom Rat" (my, how creative!!!!!). She carried around a current copy of the yearbook so she could identify people. If you had the (dis)pleasure of coming across Bathroom Rat, you were in trouble. She tried to get me in trouble. But, I had a pass.

My point is, we didn’t have one of those sucker-punch worthy hall monitors in grade school. My town waited till high school to throw that one at us (and I was already in 11th grade @ the time)!!!!!! Dont worry "Hall Moniter," you’re safe from anything I can inflict (but then again, I’m not that strong!)

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 07/06/2005 2:03 PM


I was a bathroom monitor way back in 5th grade. For a while there I knew they wanted to take me out. I’m surprised I never got a swirlee.

And I’m sure you’re strong enough. I’m the biggest wussypuff emo kid on the planet.

This is the last post ever regarding "him".

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/07/2005 2:19 AM


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