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The Growing Beast Experiment Rages On!

Thanks for all the feedback on that House article! It's not quite over yet, though. This weekend, a vaguely related part two. No, it won't be more descriptions of dead bugs or graveyards, but rather a rundown of the insane gamut of "collectibles" picked up at a crickety old gift shop near Delhi. Loads of post-worthy stuff, trust me. To give you an idea, the first things I saw after walking in the place were WWF loot bags from 1985. The last thing I saw? Well...you'll see.

The Growing Beast Experiment rages on! The culprits (note the new additions, like the heart) have been growing all out of sorts -- the combination of less water and nearby extended family members certainly seems to halt their usual capabilities of self biggie-sizing, though it's interesting to see which of the creatures manage to kick dust at the pack, storming forward like the great leaders of wartime history. Example: Frankenstein is totally kicking Dracula's green ass. More on this as it develops, but to be honest, the story doesn't seem to be growing towards anything too interesting. My experiment's a big failure.

Posted by Matt on 04/26/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 68 comments

Awesome! Spooky progress!

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 04/26/2005 10:36 PM

Simply shocking!

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 04/26/2005 10:50 PM

Go Frankenstein!

Hey people- Who’s better: Dracula or Frankenstein? Justify your answer.

Obviously, I prefer the big green lug, mostly because I always picture the Conan O’Brien model, but also due to those bolts in his neck. Simultaneously the coolest and silliest monster design ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeffster @ 04/26/2005 11:10 PM

Christ in heaven! That pic looks like an H.R. Giger painting!

Jeffster: I’ve always been a Creature from the Black Lagoon fan, myself. Y’know why? Because he SUCKS! Fat Kid snuffed the poor bastard with only one shotgun shell! ONE!

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 04/26/2005 11:18 PM

Yeti- Monster Squad??? One of the most bad as hell movies ever. "Wolfman has nards!"

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 04/26/2005 11:32 PM

I just found out I’m going to be an uncle this year too! Sweet eh?

Great house article Matt, wish I lived in NY, I’d love to hang out with you guys, perhaps you could lock me in that crawlspace or wet the asbestos

Football may be over but check us out: http://www.giessen-dragons.de

We are currently 1-1 and play the Langen Knights on Saturday. I’m playing pretty well.

17 of 33 for 348 yards, 3 touchdowns and an interception.

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 04/27/2005 12:28 PM

Heck yea i was waiting for the results. too bad it didnt go like you wanted and i liked that pun and cant wait for you deli item review!

Chestnuts roasted by JAM @ 04/27/2005 12:32 PM

On the other hand Frankenstein’s monster is kicking Dracula’s ass! I will be using this as evidence in my debate with my friend over which monster would win in a match between Dracula vs. Frankenstein’s monster.

Chestnuts roasted by Fhydra @ 04/27/2005 2:10 AM

Anyone here know if Monster Squad had an official DVD release? That movie kicked a**!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by D-Roc @ 04/27/2005 5:59 AM

Man, I can’t tell what’s what in that picture. Is that white thing at the top right the mummy? If it is, go mummy!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by oldskool25 @ 04/27/2005 7:18 AM

When we did this experiment at work late last year (using reptiles jammed into a 20 oz. water bottle) the results were pretty much the same as jamming about 30 people onto a small elevator…except the sides are clear, so you can see in… oh and the fact that it’s filled with water… but otherwise the same!

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 04/27/2005 8:27 AM

2 liter bottles are great for growing beasts.

Chestnuts roasted by dfgdfg @ 04/27/2005 8:41 AM

Dracula is waiting for the perfect time to spring forth with fast growing horror

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 04/27/2005 8:58 AM

Two thirds of a ‘pun’ is P-U, Matt. (And, two thirds of ‘fun’ is F-U, but that’s a whole other ball of worms.) Puns are punny and so hard to resist.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 04/27/2005 9:03 AM

Poor Frankenstein’s monster looks like its going to have a neck cramp when it gets up.

Chestnuts roasted by Naoko @ 04/27/2005 9:27 AM

Hey guys,

Matt, thanks for the update and I will be looking forward to the Delhi article part 2. As for the Growing experiment, geaux dracula. Dracula has to be the coolest of the monsters. I mean how many kids, growing up, were frankenstein for halloween?

Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 04/27/2005 10:07 AM

Anyone seen the new M&M commerical with Darth Vader choking the red M&M? Also any fans of Megas XLR here? I want more people into the show so it sticks around.

Chestnuts roasted by RAS @ 04/27/2005 11:01 AM

That commercial rocks.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/27/2005 11:12 AM

Yay Im excited to see some goodies from you kick ass trip…I had a dream about that house last night, my friends and I went up there, and I forsed them into the crawl space upstairs, I dont remeber what happend after that.

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 04/27/2005 11:43 AM

Universal? Frankenstein’s Monster.
Hammer? Dracula.
Toho? Gojira.
I forget who makes the Gamera movies.
Asimov once said that a pun is considered the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Megas is cool. Think about it: if a giant anime robot fell into your control, would you pilot it any different? I like the subtle jabs the writers take at eMpTy Vee over the cancelling of Downtown, where Goat made his first appearance.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/27/2005 11:56 AM

I also liked the Star Wars ringtone commercial.
Matt, any word on newer commercials that are XE in nature being available for download?
This insane experiment MUST BE STOPPED!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 04/27/2005 1:04 PM

Hey, I love those things, but watch out–if they stay in water too long, they start to come apart like chunks of soggy bread. And they feel about the same way, but a little more appetizing.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 04/27/2005 2:49 PM

Matt, did you put up that pun link because I had someone look up the word "ponderous" when talking about a movie?

I haven’t seen Monster Squad in years but remember liking it. Although Van Helsing is sort of an updated Monster Squad anyway. THAT was a bad movie (although I liked the guy who was Frankenstein in it).

Dracula is cooler because he seduces beatiful women and then turn them into his sex slaves (do vampires have sex?). Plus, he kills people. What can Frankenstein do?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 04/27/2005 3:24 PM

Frankenstein can waste a minute of your time.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeffster @ 04/27/2005 4:45 PM

Where’s the skeleton? He was the biggest going into this experiment.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 04/27/2005 10:07 PM

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 26th, 2005 at 10:27 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.