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McDonald’s Bacon Bits from 1987 on 4/20.

God, it's beautiful out tonight. Makes me want to run outside and eat an eighteen-year-old package of bacon bits.

Don't ask me how I got it, but to your left is a package of complimentary McDonald's bacon bits from 1987. With smoke flavoring! Provided to customers who ordered Chicken Salad Oriental or some other leafy shit, it's a big pile of nasty that has only gotten nastier with age -- click here for a look at what's inside. While it must be considered poison at this point, the stuff's actually held up pretty well, with credit for that largely attributed to its heaping dose of sodium erythorbate, whatever the fuck that is. The package claims it's "100% real bacon," which is an admittedly awesome clever way of saying it's not 100% bacon. Whatever bacon in there is 100% legit, but shhh...there's other stuff too. Naughty bits from Captain Chemical. One of the Fry Guys. Yay 4/20.

In 1988, McDonald's sought to recapture some lost sales margins in what was obviously the best way for a fast food chain to do so: By giving away free foreign coins! The "Fiesta Coin" packets each contained a legitimate foreign coin, given out either in Happy Meals or whenever someone bought some ill-conceived test-market burger with the word "Fiesta" in the title. Can't really remember, but I'm totally crushing on the confetti-drenched packaging.

I really didn't come home expecting to write about old bacon bits tonight. Life is full of surprises.

Posted by Matt on 04/20/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 62 comments

jhnnywalkr, in other words, the new pope is just a temp? Wonder what his next gig is…I bet we’ll see him on "The Simple Life: Nuns" now that Paris dumped Nicole.

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 04/22/2005 10:05 AM

I thought X-E was a cult.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/22/2005 11:58 AM

I’ve been waiting for the next food article-ette. This gives me the opportunity to relay my own vintage food story. Several months ago, my grandmother had an accident that placed her in a hospital for several days, and made her decide to move into a retirement home. (She’s doing fine, just so ya know) Before she could sell her house, though, it needed to be cleaned out. While cleaning out the kitchen, I found a tin of Nestle Quik(chocolate milk powder). Now, this was old Quik. Predating both the "NesQuik" name change and the font change on the package, this was maybe from the early 90s. When I went to grandma’s house back then, I’d always have a glass or two of the stuff, but I thought her supply had run out around the time I stopped drinking it. So I find this tin of Quik in the cupboard, open the lid, and it turns out the thing is half-full! This was the very same tin of Quik that those childhood glasses of chocolate milk goodness came from, the tin I thought had run dry years ago, this was the Quik of my Youth!

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 04/22/2005 2:53 PM

My favorite thing in the world used to be getting a chef salad from McDonalds. I mean, it had the smell of TMNT slime, and it features eggs, ham, turkey, and some form of dressing. But, the bacon bits, and the croutons, added to that lovely chef salad…..mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Chestnuts roasted by The Jays @ 04/23/2005 5:30 AM

Hmm..April 20th and Matt’s eating old bacon bits..wonder why..

Chestnuts roasted by Happy Dude @ 04/23/2005 11:25 AM

I’m a McNarc. I actually LIKED Morgan Spurlock’s Super Size Me.

Chestnuts roasted by Ekkostar @ 04/23/2005 6:56 PM

ahhhh.. dear god, there should be a warning beside that link to the inside of the bacon bits package.. traumatized me..

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 04/23/2005 7:30 PM

just to let you know sodium erthobate(excuse the spelling i’m sure its wrong)translated to salted worms and its also in bologna and hot dogs

Chestnuts roasted by Nick @ 04/24/2005 7:22 PM

I swear Matt must have 1.21 jigawatts of electricity power hidden away in his garage to get some of this crap

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 04/26/2005 12:53 PM

Nick- My mom told me that once.. Then I looked it up:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=erythorbate

Chestnuts roasted by springsprite @ 05/05/2005 8:27 AM

those are nasty.

Chestnuts roasted by blob @ 11/25/2006 4:01 PM

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 20th, 2005 at 9:52 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.