The X-Entertainment Blog!

02/18/2005: 30 Pieces of Star Wars Junk!

Here’s a big one, full of junk. It’s a smorgasbord of Star Wars crap, ranging from figural erasers to wallets, night lights to keychains and watches to more watches, all from the early `80s and all opened from their packages specifically for this article, and thus, C10 minty fresh. Thirty different items are featured, and at least five or six of the reviews are worth reading. Seeeee you later.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 90 comments

1 2 Next »

those erasers are sweet. they need a salacious crumb one.

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 02/18/2005 11:38 PM EST

Second! Thx Matt…

Ghosted by Kidd Video @ 02/18/2005 11:50 PM EST

I’ve never seen more detailed erasers. God, that Roayl Gaurd and Akbar figure could easily replace my action figure versions if said action figures went missing.

I like the Landspeeder comb. When you take the comb part out, it looks like the Droids were jetisoned.

The Droids on the wallet look like they’re walking in a winter wonderland.

A+, Matt!

Ghosted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 02/18/2005 11:52 PM EST

That’s a couple toilets full of Star Wars crap. Good stuff. Nice work. I always thought that older movies never really advertised as much as they do now. I was so frickin’ wrong.

Ghosted by Warx @ 02/18/2005 11:53 PM EST

The novelization of ROTJ makes no mention of any cookies during the Leia/Wicket scene. I guess we’ll never know….

Ghosted by Ben @ 02/19/2005 12:17 PM EST

Wow best post. I’m amazed there are so many combs. I guess people at Adam Joseph figured Star Wars fans need help with grooming.

Ghosted by John @ 02/19/2005 12:42 PM EST

i can never get enough of trinkets and baubles. especially those of the star wars persuasion.

i’ve seen return of the jedi more times than i can count, so one of two conclusions can be drawn:
1.)i’m blind
or
2.)i’m gullible

because i don’t remember ever seeing the stormtrooper throwing the ewok over his head. when does it happen, or is it just that i’m gullible?

Ghosted by jim. @ 02/19/2005 1:16 AM EST

Dang, Firefox crashed and ate up my (witty, wonderful) post. In summary: ~Matt, you’ve outdone yourself again.
~I want that landspeeder comb.
~The references to the Dianoga and especially 2-1B had me rolling on the floor. So funny.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 02/19/2005 1:36 AM EST

http://www.bootlegactionfigures.com/starwarsbootlegs.htm

Notice the squeaky toys

Ghosted by springsprite @ 02/19/2005 1:50 AM EST

Most of those items are really cool. It’s as if they actually put some sincere effort, other than just gettin’ the dolla dolla, into making them.

I want that Darth Vader candle just so I gather a bunch of friends around, dress them like ewoks, and recreate the final ROTJ scenes in which they cremate him. That would be a partay.

Ghosted by Dr. Acula @ 02/19/2005 1:54 AM EST

What an amazing assortment of junk! Thanks Matt for keeping the articles coming when you’ve obviously got a ton to do.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 02/19/2005 4:56 AM EST

dude, tell me that stuff didnt all come from one mans collection. if so then that person needs to get a life and stop living in a fantasy world…
thank you for your time and consideration.
ps-consider a full frontal-lobe labotomy

Ghosted by luke fucking skywalker @ 02/19/2005 8:40 AM EST

That Vader wallet is bad ass. BAD. ASS.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 02/19/2005 9:04 AM EST

These are good but they don’t come close the item we found at a flea market in Alabama. It was a bar of clear/amber soap with a small Chewbacca figurine encased in it. Maybe they were inspired by that whole Han Solo thing.

Ghosted by red hot ryder @ 02/19/2005 10:06 AM EST

Smørgåsbord is only apropriate for food tbh

Ghosted by Gen76 @ 02/19/2005 10:37 AM EST

You think Star Wars merchandising is really out of control? Try some anime series in Japan. In the Land of the Rising Sun, they really take merchandising seriously. Take the anime Dragonball/Dragonball Z. A ton of merchandise came out which probably dwarfs the Star Wars line such as video games, action figures, apparel, school bags and even items like food products and cookware!

Ghosted by Bert Raccoon @ 02/19/2005 10:39 AM EST

you missed out on the unauthorized star wars bongs, made by a califonia glass company out of starwars "head" mugs. freakin’ sweet.

Ghosted by i've misplaced it.... @ 02/19/2005 10:59 AM EST

I totally remember how those erasers smelled. Thats the first thing that came to mind when I saw them. Bestest article ever

Ghosted by dr mindbender @ 02/19/2005 11:21 AM EST

I WANT TO PUT R2-D2 IN MY MOUTH.

Seriously, there was something about the scent of those "collectable" erasers that made them irresistably chewable. I think mine finally fell apart after weeks of gnawing on their heads.

Ghosted by JRR @ 02/19/2005 11:24 AM EST

I remember these things. Cool stuff. does anyone remember the really cool 3d cardboard sarlac pit/Jabba’s Barge board game? complete with 3d plastic figures?

Ghosted by Gene @ 02/19/2005 11:40 AM EST

I saw the trailer for Episode 3 the other day which I wasn’t expecting, and… it was totally awesome! Wow… that movie, it just looks fantastic… I’m defintely stoked.

Ghosted by Review the World @ 02/19/2005 11:58 AM EST

I still have my Bradely Ewok Watch, sitting in my wife’s jewelry cabinet. My third-grade school photo has me wearing it. Let’s see… that would be twenty-two years ago?

Ghosted by Grouchy Mentat @ 02/19/2005 12:13 PM EST

I have the Emperor’s Royal Guard Figural Eraser. It is by far the worst eraser ever. It has always and will always either smudge mistakes or rip paper to oblivion.

And it is only worth $8. I long for the figurines that I blew up with M80’s.

Ghosted by Jenzer28 @ 02/19/2005 1:48 PM EST

None of those things can compare to the true bizareness that is…

http://www.hasbro.com/starwars/pl/page.news/id.1130/dn/default.cfm

Ghosted by Chris Waters @ 02/19/2005 2:19 PM EST

It’s funny… because I had both those keychains and I DID rip off the keys and use them as the dolls. Actually, until you pointed out that they were keychains I just thought they had these strange loops on their heads…

Ghosted by Meg @ 02/19/2005 3:39 PM EST

Your description of the Clip A Long magnifying glass made me laugh so hard I thought I was a gonna pee myself. Nicely done.

Ghosted by hargoni @ 02/19/2005 3:43 PM EST

I couldn’t help but notice that all the erasers were "collectable" -except for max rebo.

wha’s up with that?

Ghosted by Bitsy&Roary @ 02/19/2005 4:34 PM EST

I’ll admit, I’ve never been a big Star Wars fan…but loved the article, great stuff as usual Matt. Of course I was just bein born when the ROTJ stuff was comin out, still wouldn’t complain gettin my hands on some of the things Anyhow, there’s always at least one person who puts a line from your article that they find hilarious…here’s the one i chose:

Few want Darth Vader’s eyes on them while they sleep, but even fewer want Darth Vader’s eyes on them while they shit

Hilarious! As usual Matt, keep up the great work!

Ghosted by Jabo @ 02/19/2005 4:38 PM EST

The Vader night-light looks pretty pretty pissed off when illuminated. If he had ears on that helmet, they’d certainly be shooting steam of malcontent.

Ghosted by RewolfJ @ 02/19/2005 5:36 PM EST

All of that stuff was great and well demonstrated that the "Star Wars" collectables craze wasn’t limited to action figures and droid-shaped cereal. My favorites were the candles; I remember seeing all three in the Wilton cake books my mom used to order in the early 80s. I miss those. I read them for years, just to look at the nifty cake designs. My family thought I was crazy, but to this day, I can still tell a Mexican-style cake decoration from an Australian one.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 02/19/2005 9:02 PM EST

I have those Royal Guard and Darth Vader erasers,in their origina packages. I even have one of those Ewok keychains.

Ghosted by Overlord @ 02/19/2005 9:10 PM EST

OHHHHHGOD!! the r2d2 toybox!!!!
holy crap!!! i remember my mom spending about 12 hours putting all those stickers on!! and learning some new swearwords!! that chrsitmas i also got was my pester the robotic cat,jabba the hut with moving tail and his throne that you could drop any action figure in!my preference was my ghostbuster figures!!…..and i also recieved my pull string talking garfield"big fat hairy deal" i was 9 in 85!!yeahhh!! as always a mouth watering feast for the eyes and memorie, matt.

Ghosted by JAY B! @ 02/19/2005 9:52 PM EST

I once found a tube of (get this) return of the Jedi BLUE TUBE OF GLUE at a stucky’s on a feild trip in like 5th grade. GLUE, for chrissakes.

Yeah, I bought it.

Ghosted by Shawn @ 02/19/2005 10:01 PM EST

This reminds me of the time my second grade teacher took away my He-Man eraser. The dumb b***h thought it was a toy. Funny though this same teacher gave out He-Man activity books for doing good deeds.

Ghosted by Pig-Malien @ 02/19/2005 10:27 PM EST

Does the Wicket keychain have a head wound?

Ghosted by marchant @ 02/19/2005 11:41 PM EST

I agree about the Vader wallet being bad ass. I would carry that today.

Ghosted by who cares @ 02/20/2005 12:43 PM EST

Matt, my sister just watched Home Alone 2 on ABC Family, and I just realized that the Talkboy (Remember that?) would make for an AWESOME article.

Ghosted by Behonkiss @ 02/20/2005 1:42 AM EST

matt, you don’t give star wars too much coverage, but when you do, it’s dead on.

i like it.

Ghosted by the dark soldia @ 02/20/2005 1:53 AM EST

Damn, but I do love me some memorabilia. Or course, given that I collect Transformers, my Random Crap includes such fun as Japanese candy figurines and Playskool’s ‘My First Transformers’. Those guys rule.
Oh, and I have Soundwave, Megatron, and Prowl in easer form. Only slightly chewed!
Making your geeky hobby an integral part of your life is paradise.

Ghosted by onslaught86 @ 02/20/2005 3:19 AM EST

It is good to know that the Clip-a-Longs fit "right in my pocket." It has a two pronged effect: first, I can’t lug around a heavy plastic pencil acessory and 2, it allows me to whisper little greetings to my Clip-a-Long pals without being beat up.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 02/20/2005 7:20 AM EST

All of those Child World/Children’s Palace price stickers are depressing. CP was one of the most fucking awesome stores in the entire world, and I was deeply saddened when they closed.

Ghosted by Jim @ 02/20/2005 10:18 AM EST

This doesn’t have much to do wit what you’re talking about, but I’m trying to figure out the name, and maybe track down the toys, of a figure I believe was called Adam Extreme… I don’t know if it’s the right name, but the toy, and his villian couter-part, had a button that made the upper body twist around to show that they … uh, powered up or something… his outfit was orange, but when he turned around it was blue with red vainy things on it. Can you guys help me out? It was from any period betweeen ‘82 and ‘86.

Ghosted by Paul @ 02/20/2005 12:02 PM EST

I wonder how a parent would feel about buying their kids all of this… crap. @_@
Oh, wait. I already know. They’d consider it a waste of money.

Ghosted by radiodj19 @ 02/20/2005 12:54 PM EST

I was going to post about how cool the article was until i went to the link chris had. i immediately became distracted and forgot what i was going to say about the article. How can you not be distracted by a mr. potato head dressed up like darth vader? I think he just stole your spotlight Matt. I really hope that Darth Tater is just a joke. Then again it would be friggin awesome if it wasn’t.

Ghosted by Ally @ 02/20/2005 1:36 PM EST

Darth Tater………I don’t know whether to laugh hysterically and/or stab myself repeatedly. TONIGHT: ROBOT CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 02/20/2005 1:41 PM EST

All this junky star wars stuff reminds me of my ol’ chewbacca notebook from 1998. It was Chewbacca and he looked very andy warhol-esque because he looked screen printed and had all these neon colors surrounding him. That notebook was the only good thing in the miserable year of 1998.

Ghosted by kennef @ 02/20/2005 4:08 PM EST

Yes, I’m reposting something from the last blog. Sue me.

"Quick side comment about the Poconos. I’ve never done the champagne-glass tub ($$$$), but I’ve done the heart-shaped tub and the round bed and all that stuff. We went there for our honeymoon two and a half years ago and we’ve been back three times since. There’s this surreal, slightly-tacky quality about it that I just adore. For me, THAT is what makes the Poconos great (sorry, race fans.)"

Don’t know if you’ll read this, Lori, but I had to comment that Mr. Traj and I spent our honeymoon in the Poconos. Did you guys stay at The Summit? That’s where we stayed. It sounds the same. Did you get the cheesy leopard print corner couch and pinkish-red heart shaped sink? We got the room w/ the personal, indoor pool. That was pretty cool. We didn’t have to share. Of course, we could have spent our time roller skating on skates that were purchased when Nixon was still in office, or playing tennis over the net-that-once-was. Ah, good times.

, are you excited about Carnivale tonight? I’m actually anxious for the first tiem this season. I can’t wait to find out where Sophie is going. Do you think she’s preggo? Oh, have you written anymore fanfiction? I’ll have to go check out gay paree.

P.S. Erik, just take care of the shipping to Germany, and I’ll take care of the rest. Deal?

P.S.S. Manimal, does little Emily (or Mommy or Daddy, for that matter) like frogs? I got some cute fairy tale frog cloth that I love. I would live to make her a little crib quilt, if you would have one.

Ghosted by trajeal double posts @ 02/20/2005 4:37 PM EST

That’s supposed to say, "Squee, are you excited blah blah carniecakes". I copied and pasted in one big chucnk, so I don’t know how I lost that one name in the middle.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 02/20/2005 4:38 PM EST

I’m been busy with school work lately, but another good article Matt. I’m surprise your didn’t with the short article about Admiral Ackbar, your didn’t had said his line he said in RotJ, "It’s a Trap!"

Ghosted by Beta-Theta @ 02/20/2005 5:40 PM EST

Sinks her the sunken sailboat so many simes???

Never got in to SW butI got tons of superhero junk. Banks, glasses, food boxes, pewter statues, etc.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 02/20/2005 7:40 PM EST

1 2 Next »

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Friday, February 18th, 2005 at 11:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.