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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

C-3P0′s Cereal & Pokemon Pasta!

I managed to snatch a sealed box of C-3P0's Cereal from 1984, so even though I already did an article on the stuff a few years ago, this latest development seemed like enough of a reason to praise the power of the rehash. It's a giant look at a very special Star Wars breakfast, including a full-sized scan of the creepy Luke Skywalker mask printed on the box. Enjoy.

Actually just got back from Atlantic City a few hours ago. Lost big, but only to the point of a one week depression as opposed to the six weeks that came after my last visit. The machines were ruthlessly cold, and even if the tables were luckier, I fucked up every time I sat at one and eventually gave up. I just couldn't grasp the nuances of when to pick up cards, how to pick up cards, when to throw the chips, so on and so forth. It was like trying to wing sign language.

Right before we left, we hit the boardwalk at my urging so I could check out the decrepit souvenir shops for old crap. Couldn't hit shit in the casinos, but nailed a jackpot in the shops -- the next article (hopefully active on Monday afternoon -- I have off because I strongly support MLK) features one collection of finds, but I took home all sorts of great stuff. One of the 99 cent stores was stocked with Rambo action figure accessory packs from 1985, and that's just the tip. In the bowels of the very same store, I found these...

Heinz Pokemon Pasta! The cans are from 1999, but even so, they were some of the least offensively old food products found in the store. They're from Pokemon's boom period, with six characters (chosen seemingly at random) represented as pasta shapes in milky tomato sauce I know I've said it a million times, but...how? How can stores get away with it? Why would they even try? Do we have any law people in here? If one were to say, eat the Pokemon Pasta and get very, very ill...would they have a case against those who sold it? I'm not working up to a punch line here -- I really am curious.

Okay, gonna get to work on the next article -- should be a fun one. Meantime, see if either of these descriptions get your memories flowing. I'm trying to remember the names of/get information on a couple of toys I distinctly recall owning and loving...

1) Worms-in-a-briefcase. May possibly be the very first toy I ever picked out for myself by myself, so we're probably looking at something that came out between 1982-1985. They were, as I recall, sets of two life-sized rubber worm figures in various bright colors that came packed in tiny plastic briefcases. I'm dying to know the name of these. Pretty sure they used to be on sale near the register at KB.

2) This one's a bit tougher -- I won it using casino arcade points in Wildwood when I was a kid. It was sort of like a giant, souped up Madball -- let's say basketball sized, with a pull-string that activated its electronic voice. May have had a few other "action" capabilities. Was very colorful and very ugly.

Any ideas? Anyone?

Posted by Matt on 01/15/2005. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 100 comments

you copied my name manly man! you
shall pay for that!…….soon

Chestnuts roasted by womenly women @ 01/19/2005 11:40 PM


Good God that cereal pic made my intestine squeel in terror!
…I’d still eat it anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Alex @ 01/20/2005 2:22 PM


I have one of those Pokemon pasta cans as a pencil/pen holder, I can even take a picture if anyone wants me to!

Chestnuts roasted by RPharazon @ 01/20/2005 5:44 PM


Oh yeah, the can also has french subtitles. Damn Canadian laws….

Chestnuts roasted by RPharazon @ 01/20/2005 5:46 PM


1999? Matt, I would’ve thought that’d be like, fresh, for you by now. Some ideas;
1. Start your own "Exp. date lawsuit club" Kind of like office people’s lotto club, where they all pool in money to buy lottery tickets and if they win split it, only everybody looks around their town for expired food, eats it, and if someone gets sick split the settlement (keep your receipt and take photos at the store!).

2. Next time you’re at the Dollar Tree or wherever why not ask if it’s legal or not to sell this crap; or call up Heinz.

Also, a follow-up to one of your long-ago articles about the Mantis Shrimp. They eat them here in Japan and are common in the supermarket (shako); a little like really tender, bland little shrimp, eaten raw, and weren’t that tasty when I tried them. They don’t eat the big, aquarium kinds. Just stick with the cup noodles

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 01/21/2005 9:31 AM


C3POs were pretty good.
They tasted just like Pro-Stars cereal. I don’t know if you had Pro-Stars in the U.S. It was a cereal endorsed by Wayne Gretzky.

Chestnuts roasted by Kurt @ 01/21/2005 1:25 PM


I once ate a can of marshmallow fluff that had been open since the early 90′s….not a pleasant experience

Chestnuts roasted by sexynigelthepharoahwizard @ 01/21/2005 4:19 PM


Oh, that was tasty stuff. I can still practically taste it…..it was such a basic cereal, you’d think it would still be around under some other name. Still have a mask or two someplace.

Chestnuts roasted by Adam @ 01/21/2005 9:55 PM


Today in a supermarket i found a tub of toothpaste with my face on it, best toothpaste EVER!

Chestnuts roasted by Skeletor @ 01/24/2005 8:50 PM


One of my fondest childhood property tie in cereal related memories has to be sitting around trying to shove the little white marshmallow ghosts into the "fruit" flavoured loops in my "real ghostbusters" cereal in a misguided and ultimately fruitless (damn I’m witty) attempt to recreate the Ghostbusters Logo.

I was easily distracted as a child.

Chestnuts roasted by dantewyrmfoe @ 01/25/2005 4:56 AM


Pokemon pasta? Nahhh. Nothing beats Alphaghetti. I like to spell out the names of people who I dislike and eat them!!! Bahahaha. Cheap therapy.

Chestnuts roasted by O-bli-o. @ 01/27/2005 9:58 PM


Heh. I remember finding a whole, unopened case of Mario Brothers "Luigi Berry" (a Blue Berry flavored soda pop starring every ones favorite "B" choice plumber) at odd lots for $5. This was in 1999, mind you. Nasty stuff and it came in a blue/green can with Luigi hopping like an idiot on the side that was half the size of a normal one. I think there’s still an unopened can of the stuff at my mother’s place. Maybe it’ll be worth something some day. :)
I also got a Ecto-Cooler from a food box the local canned goods place gives out every month to needy families just last year (I hit a rough patch where my work was paying me just enough that my family qualified and we thought "hell, why not? Free food!" It was still good too!

Chestnuts roasted by Steelabjur @ 01/28/2005 9:46 AM


I never tried c-3po cereal, but I’m sad that two of my favorite childhood cereals, Sprinklin Spanglins and some sort of treasure cereal (a mix of plain corn pieces and corn pieces containing different fruit flavors) haven’t been made for years. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Anna @ 01/28/2005 11:30 PM


I remember C-3PO’s. There were top on my list too. Here is hoping for a Epidode 3 re-release.

Chestnuts roasted by Markus @ 02/02/2005 1:35 PM


I remember C-3PO’s. There were top on my list too. Here is hoping for a Epidode 3 re-release.

Chestnuts roasted by Markus @ 02/02/2005 1:35 PM


I’m sorry, but in the picture of the pasta, the sauce did not look "milky", as you described it. Was it, perhaps, more about the fluidity of the sauce? Or, more likely, do you just have some really crap lights where you live?

Chestnuts roasted by Vulgaris @ 02/02/2005 4:15 PM


i was shocked to see that C-3POs weren’t peddled by RALSTON…bastards.

Chestnuts roasted by JPM @ 02/03/2005 12:59 PM


scary… I’ve actually got about five cans of pokepasta floating around.. Heinz only sells it’s ‘spaghettios’ in Canada, so being in the US I had to get it on eBay (it was a penny!) (and then we found some at a christmas tree shop two years later..) one of the cans leaked all over everything.. the tomato sauce ate through the can…

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 02/04/2005 8:05 PM


Never had the Pokemon pasta but I use to go ga-ga over Sonic the Hedgehog pasta, back when the *good* SatAM show was on and the comics were just getting started. I still can’t figure out why C-3PO’s are 8-shaped, shouldn’t they be Cheerios-shaped just like that thing on his stomach?

Chestnuts roasted by Sky Hero Ash @ 09/06/2006 3:17 PM


Did this taste like Honeycomb Cereal? And I’m just curious what the shape of the Cereal is portraying? Is it supposed to be C-3PO Eyes?

Thanks.

Chestnuts roasted by Jammer @ 07/08/2009 7:48 PM


“And I’m just curious what the shape of the Cereal is portraying?”

It’s C, 3, P, and O all in one piece. Like an LED display.

Chestnuts roasted by Mark @ 04/06/2010 12:49 PM


I just read the article about the C-3PO cereals after i got myself a bowl of cereal and instantly and exactly remember the taste of these cereals. I’ll die to get one! i haven’t got better than those! i’m for starting a petition, seriously! Did you really spent thousant for an old box though?

Chestnuts roasted by Metalmental @ 06/16/2010 9:21 PM


My mother recently passed away and while going through everything we found scads of no expiration date coupons. While going through them I found C-3PO’S , E.T. , PAC-MAN , AND DONKEY KONG cereal coupons. I am still going through some and hope to find more. i had forgotten about these cereals. 4-17-2011

Chestnuts roasted by Brenda @ 04/17/2011 11:27 AM


After reading the whole story on C3PO’s Cereal, and being 36yo, I gotta say I don’t remember the original cereal, but it is pretty much the same as the Australian cereal Nutri-Grain. The only difference is that instead of 2 holes it has 3. But it is made up of the same oats, wheat and corn mixture. I could probably send you a box if you want to see if it’s the same, but maybe you can find it at an Aussie specialty shop, where the sell Vegemite etc. Here’s a link to the website for Nutri-Grain, which has a pic showing the 3 circles design,

(http://www.nutrigrain.com.au/protein.aspx)

which is nearly the same as the 2 circles design of C3PO’s. Maybe this explains the Aussie domination of a lot of world sports. We’ve been eating Force breakfast cereal for decades now. LOL.

Pathos.

Chestnuts roasted by PathosBedlam @ 09/04/2011 12:11 PM


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