X-Entertainment | The Adventures of Q*Bert!

The Adventures of Q*Bert!

An X-Entertainment Book Report: it's one of my favorite literary masterpieces from kid-dom, starring the one and only Q*Bert. From Parker Bruddas in 1983, The Adventures of Q*Bert is the scattered tale of an orange hero, his green friends, their purple enemies, and the mountain of bricks. I've held onto this one since childhood (it's one of the few that weren't repurchased specifically to review), deciding it was finally time to massacre the binding and send it reeling through my half-broken scanner so I could waste the last precious hours of my holiday vacation writing about it. Ugg.

Posted by Matt on 01/02/2005. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 58 comments

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Oh man, Q-bert was one of the best games. I’ve never came across the book though, seems Q-bertastic.

Chestnuts roasted by G4L @ 01/02/2005 5:46 PM

I remember one of the Christmas catalogs for ’83 showing a kids’ room done up in nothing but Q-Bert stuff you could order from the catalog,like how they do with most licesend properties. Just something I’d like to add.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 01/02/2005 6:13 PM

I have but one thing to say to this. What was the name of that shitty font that kept showing up in books and manuals in the 80s and early 90s? I guess every decade has its shitty font that’s everywhere (Comic Sans, anyone?)

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 01/02/2005 6:40 PM

maybe i am very very slow…but i just realized that q-bert is kinda in the shape of the letter Q

after all these years, who knew?

Chestnuts roasted by Gerv @ 01/02/2005 6:48 PM

Cool, I get to make one of the early comments! Anyway, QBert was cool. Did you know that the original name for QBert was going to be the obscenity that he said when he lost a life in the video game? Of course, nobody would have known how to pronounce it.

The QBert cartoons on Saturday Supercade were neat. I thought it was one of the better segments (along with Kangaroo) and the setting of a 50s decade combined with a futuristic look was cool. Hell, I think the Fonz would approve.

Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 01/02/2005 6:56 PM

…and how the hell could Slick and Sam tie a not in Ugg’s tail if they don’t have any arms or hands????

Chestnuts roasted by Gerv @ 01/02/2005 7:02 PM

Ahhh, Q Bert. I don’t remember the Saturday Supercade cartoons, but the Boardwalk Mall Arcade in Wildwood has a working Q Bert game machine that I’ve fed many, many quarters in an attempt to avoid Ugg, Coiley, et al. I’m no better at it now than I was when I could barely reach the controllers. It IS still a cute game, though. Would have LOVED that book as a kid myself, despite the lame ending.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 01/02/2005 9:29 PM

nice article Matt
does anyone remember the Q-bert board game? anyone? how about the pac-man board game

i know i can’t be totally crazy here

Chestnuts roasted by Gene @ 01/02/2005 9:32 PM

Oh man, that story looked liked some sort of polt I would have came up with when I was a child, the best part was when one of the friends of Q*bert said "Don’t be a drip!" how wonderful..oh and BTW Matt the date is wrong at the bottom!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 01/02/2005 9:37 PM

Thanks for the review, Matt. I actually had this very book as a child, so it was fun trip down memory lane for me. Between my crippling head cold and PS2 that refuses to work properly (if I see the words "Disc Read Error" one more time, I’m climbing a bell tower!), this really cheered me up.

And if I’m not mistaken, 66$$# meant, "Whew, that was a close one." Am I right?

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 01/02/2005 10:04 PM

Ah..Q-Bert…how do we love thee. Q-bert tried making a comeback, does anybody remember that?

Chestnuts roasted by Warx @ 01/02/2005 10:17 PM

Sam sounds frighteningly like Regis Philbin.

Chestnuts roasted by Josh @ 01/02/2005 10:46 PM

Unlike The X-Men, who were forced by Marvel to become http://www.asphodel.com/bio/xecutioners_.html">The http://www.x-ecutioners.net/">X-Ecutioners, http://www.djqbert.com/">DJ QBert luckily still has his name.

If you haven’t seen it, I recommend picking up DJ Qbert’s http://www.discogs.com/release/172337">Wave http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0291559/">Twisters: http://www.hiphop-network.com/archives/outsidevideos/wavetwisters/wavetwistertrailer1.asp">The http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_11.22.01/film/wavetwisters.html">Movie on http://dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=3747">DVD.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/02/2005 11:25 PM

Yeaaaaaaaaaahhh ME definitely has the right idea when it comes to music. Two superior sounds right there…….

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/03/2005 3:14 AM

So, Q*Bert is oval shaped, and Slick and Sam are teardrop shaped. But, the rest of the town/country are qubed shaped. Hmmm… Maybe the reason for Q*Bert’s madness is his desire to be accepted into the qlick? He wants everyone to love him as much as they love the square shaped chicken assholes and sharp cornered raindrops. He just wants love, man.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 01/03/2005 9:00 AM

I never read that book as a child. However, I do remember watching the Saturday Supercade cartoons.
Gene – I remember seeing the QBert board game last year at a yard sale. I kick myself for not picking it up. I want to play it now (dammit!) I loved the Pac Man board game too, with the multi-colored pac men.

Chestnuts roasted by Croww @ 01/03/2005 11:07 AM

Q-Bert werd gemaakt in een document mache pinata door mij toen ik lad was. Wij slaan het suikergoed uit vacuüm besnuffelde bastaard… Ik ook am bastaard.

Chestnuts roasted by msa @ 01/03/2005 11:46 AM

Q*bert is one of my favorite games, right under Pac-Man. Let’s see, I have it for my NES, the Atari 2600 version, and a recent handheld version that lets you choose between the classic pyramid or more complicated qube arrangements. It was made by Tiger and has a little joystick to plug in to give a arcade-like vibe to it.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/03/2005 12:14 PM

Looking at the page with the "Keep out" sign, Q-bert looks like he’s cursing.

I’m kinda surprise that no one has developed a revamped Q-bert game like they are doing with every other video game property. Even Pac-Man got a new game a year ago.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 01/03/2005 3:42 PM

This was a very good read. Been a long time since I’ve laughed out loud staring at the computer screen. And I always thought Q*Bert WAS qursing when I was Coiled or Ugg’d! Guess he was just talking in Q’s. Next book report: The Super Mario Brothers book whose name I forget!

Chestnuts roasted by Armagideon Time @ 01/03/2005 4:27 PM

Gene,
I HAD the Q-Bert boardgame!! I couldn’t tell you how to play it. I never figured that darn thing out. All I remember was the board which of course was the mountain of cubes that had holes that you would stick those discs that Q-Bert jumped on or something..and the plastic playing pieces which were basically that with stickers of the characters’ pictures on them. So no you’re not losing it. Oh by the way, Matt if you’re reading, did you ever own the QBert joke book? I had that. It was hardcover and had all these dopey kids’ jokes but cool pics of Qbert and the gang.

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y. @ 01/03/2005 4:35 PM

Ok, Matt may not want emails regarding the roles of Sam and Slick, but this is bothering me. What did they do in the game? Didn’t one turn the changed cubes back to the original color? What did the other do? I know there was a green ball that made Q*Bert invincible for a while (at least on the Atari 2600 version).

(And bonus points for those that spelled ‘Q*Bert’ with an asterisk.)

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 01/03/2005 4:43 PM

And thanks for the random Scatman shoutout on the background.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 01/03/2005 4:45 PM

I have but one childhood Q*Bert memory. When I was probably 4 or 5, I had the Q*Bert coloring book. I think I preferred Coily to be orange rather than purple, opening the door to a plot twist where Coily and Q*Bert are actually brothers!

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 01/03/2005 5:23 PM

Does anyone else wonder why the sun is round but the rain is square? That really bothered me for some reason. I think I need my head examined…

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 01/03/2005 6:15 PM

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