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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

The Christmas Fallout, 2004!

Hey, wanna know what I got for Christmas?

The fucking flu.  Woke up on Christmas Eve feeling that something wasn't quite right, tried to sleep it off, but midway through the festivities, it finally hit.  By midnight I was clocking a 102 degree temperature.  Christmas Day was spent, pretty much in its entirety, on a couch with a heating pad cursing the holidays.  Though I have to admit, the irony involved with me getting sick on Christmas after spending over a month writing about it and adoring it is pretty hilarious.  Anyway, that's why the Advent Calendar didn't wrap up until yesterday, and the flu was probably a big factor in why it wrapped up the way it did.  Meow.  Don't think of it as depressing.  After filming, the whole gang went for cinnamon martinis and made New Year's plans.

X-E blogger Dude McGuy sent word in that Christmas Crunch indeed returned for a 2004 run, and was nice enough to send in a few pictures -- click here and here.  For whatever reason, the stuff hasn't been sold around here for years, hence why I parted ways with a small fortune to obtain a sealed box from '88 for use in this old article.  The 2004 edition looks nice, with holiday shapes, and in a major blessing, the Cap'n didn't get all nondenominational along with the rest of the planet: he still calls it Christmas Crunch.  Remind me next year to bug one of you west coasty people for a box.

Another holiday season has come and gone, and I hope you've enjoyed the measly bits of tribute and coverage I was able to scrap together with the five seconds of free time I have each day.  Granted, it wasn't as much as I would've liked to do, but I did my best, and according to Santa, that counts for something.  Now, as has been a blog tradition over the past few years, here's a rundown of all the wonderful things I got for Christmas this year.  The woman and I spoil each other, and spent the rest of the winter cursing ourselves for blowing our bank accounts.  The grim realizations won't strike till January, so for now, I'm free to enjoy all my new toys without guilt.  Click "more" to see 'em, and feel free to post about your own Christmas hauls in the comments...

A 20 gig iPod, with detachable tuner to play it through speakers/car stereos, and an FM tuner so I can still listen to Stern on the way to work. My commute being akin to four hours worth of medieval torture every weekday of my life, an iPod was direly needed. And it's so cute.

Finally! Got the boxed set of TMNT DVDs -- the new series, so I can stop mouthing off about all the good things I've read about it and forge my own opinion. The three-disc set includes the first twelve episodes, plus four amazingly awesome Ninja Turtle figures. They're about half the size of those Toddler Turtles I reviewed a while back. Totally didn't know about the figures -- great little bonus.

More DVD fun -- another TMNT title, Christmas related, plus the entire first season of The Golden Girls, including the episode where Rose dates a midget, plus the episode where Sophia bitchslaps Parker Lewis' future right hand. Be it a shame best left unconfessed, this is the greatest show in the history of shows.

Pokemon LeafGreen for the GBA. A good seventy hours of Bulba-hunting eye-squinting ball-throwing superfun.

12" Roto-cast "Brain" figure from Gremlins 2. YES. I can't believe I didn't know about this. Brain is just as detailed as his posable action figure counterpart, but three times larger and heavy enough to crack a skull. I guarantee you I will still have this thing bedside when I'm 85. Even if I'm dead.

Oh yeah, it's the Complete Far Side Collection, a massive two book set containing every Far Side toon Larson's ever drawn, including never published rarities. I've wanted this set since it came out over a year ago, and even at the pretty inflated price, it's well worth it. One warning: the books are HEAVY. VERY HEAVY. Unlike most other FS books, these aren't good to curl up in bed with next to a bag of Cheetos.

Clothes, yo.

A gorgeous Gremlins snowglobe, and what's that? Yes indeed, it's a Slimer Headknocker. Both are from NECA, because they rule. Most of the toys featured here come from 'em.

I've been waiting for the new Ghostbusters figures for a while now, and they most certainly did not disappoint. Shown above are my two most wanted, Slimer and Gozer. Slimer glows and comes with assorted food accessories (including a turkey with removable drumsticks -- yes!), while Gozer comes with an alternate head and pair of hands. Unbelievable.

I completely fell off the Star Wars wagon over the past few years, at least in terms of junk collecting. Still, as soon as I saw the Mare Winningham-sized collection of too cute "Galactic Heroes," I was sold. Picked up two sets on Christmas, featuring some of the holy trilogy's top bounty hunters.

Here's one of the bigger items -- a life-sized "Tiffany" doll from Bride of Chucky. Haven't opened her up yet, but according to the box, she talks! I haven't decided what to do with Tiffany yet, but come on...whatever it is, you know it'll be magnificent.

Pretty much the only thing I explicitly asked for this Christmas: the giant NECA Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. It's taken twenty years for us to get a decent Stay Puft figure, or at least one moderately to scale against all of our other toys. Heinz was right -- good things come to those who wait. Ketchup.

One of my brothers is some kind of fucked up scientist who works at a lab on Mars or something. He's worked there for years and years, and during my youth, he'd often bring me home piles of "magnetic marbles" from the lab's gift shop. (yes, the lab has a gift shop) Somehow remembering my eternal love for attracted marbles, he delivered a new batch this year. They're just as great as I remember.

The Encyclopedia of Animals is 67,000,000 pages long. I think I'll be done with it by tomorrow night. I love this book.

Oh, looks like I forgot to take a picture of it, but also in the pile of gifts was a motion activated 18" Michael Myers figure, really high end. Just thought I'd mention it.

Okay, let's wrap this up -- they've re-released several of the vintage 12" Star Wars figures. I of course wanted Boba Fett. It's not a 100% genuine replica of the version sold back in '78 or whatever year it was, but it's close and it'd purdy. Secondly, another Stay Puft appearance, this time in bobblehead form.

Lastly, wine, and cookbooks that often call for wine.

Time to go take more pills and dig my face into a heating pad. Later...

Posted by Matt on 12/27/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 117 comments

the loot:

3 Transformer Alternators(Hound, Sideswipe, and Smokescreen)

DVD’s Arrested Development, Seinfeld 1&2, Everybody Loves Raymond…but not the Golden Girls :(

Pink Floyd – Obscured By Clouds

lots of blank CD’s, to burn all my Floyd bootlegs, I needed 200 CD’s and I got 300! YAY!

Monopoly, and a wooden game set.

DVD/VCR to replace my dying VCR.

A new glass bong, aww yeah! The gift that keeps on giving :)

That’s pretty much it, my family doesn’t really do that much anymore. :( oh yeah, my mom also paid my Medicare bill for me, that is way expensive. So that worked out well.

Billy and the Boingers!! YES! I am so glad some other people remembered this!! Check this shit out:
http://www.angelfire.com/ak/captainoftheexplorer/bbillyandtheboingers.html
Bill on electric toungue, Opus on rhythm tuba!!

"Lucifer do yer duty
Slam my head, shake yer booty!
Wham Bam, thank you Nell,
I’m on the Amtrak to Hell!"

Bloom County was such a great comic, ‘Outland’ and ‘Opus’ just don’t live up to the greatness.

Oh yeah can’t forget Rosebud the Bassellope, who liked to eat Pop-Tarts with butter. Rosebud was the roadie for Deathtoungue.

Ack. Thppt.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 12/28/2004 7:47 PM


I don’t know if you’ve figured this out on your own yet, or if any of the 50,000 comments stated this, but that iTrip you received is for 1st and 2nd generation iPods, and the iPod you have is a 4th generation, meaning they’re incompatible. Hope somebody saved the receipt!

Chestnuts roasted by Cad @ 12/28/2004 7:55 PM


EMajorwitz:
Thanks for the reply. Yes, it does help. Yeah, I figured England would be much in-demand. As for the reason, I’ve always wanted to live in the UK, as that is where my family is originally from (Scotland, to be exact), but I’d be happy to spend a few years anywhere in Europe! Germany would be great too- my parents lived in Wurzburg for 4 years back in the 60′s (Army)and loved it. I’ve taught for 4 years and am working on my masters now. Thanks again for the info, and btw, Belated Congrats on your new little one! :)

kingklash:
Awesome names for my possum. I especially like Emerson Whittington Possum. Now I just have to find a monocle and a jaunty little top hat for him/it. I’m picturing Mr. Monopoly/Uncle Moneybags in possum form. Whatcha think?

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 12/28/2004 8:45 PM


oops, I forgot to list my FAVORITE present…my girlfriend got me an Alfred E. Neuman t=shirt!! What, me worry?

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 12/28/2004 8:52 PM


Jillybean, RE: Your possum.

Is it a big one? If so, you should call it "Bitey". My undying admiration goes to anybody who gets this reference.

Also, congrats on the engagement ring, although sometime before he dies, he owes you a present. That one’s from Rita Rudner.

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 12/28/2004 11:43 PM


On an unrelated note, thanks for the tunes. Better holiday mix than Chex makes.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ Elvis @ 12/29/2004 1:07 AM


A-Wel Cruiz: I can’t remember the episode but I’m sure thats a Simpsons quote. "I call the big one Bitey!" If that’s not from the Simpsons then my brain is failing me, which it probably is anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 12/29/2004 3:57 AM


On further thought, it was the monorail episode. My brain works now!

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 12/29/2004 4:01 AM


For X-Emas, I got an end to a four-game losing streak at work and a hundred bucks to bring home.

Also, the annual tribute from my mother ($300) was a nice booster.

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 12/29/2004 4:45 AM


I like the name J. Peterson for the Possum. I guess Elaine’s employment reminds me of nocturnal roadkill? I don’t know. Or, you could call him Socrates, but pronounce it a la Bill and Ted style – Soe-craetz.

I’m kind of hoping to hear from Matt soon to see how he’s feeling. Bah, I hate being sick.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 12/29/2004 8:00 AM


Best Gift I got?

Retro Gameboy Advance SP complete with Dr.Mario and 50 bucks in EB gift card form.

And a large Ralph Wiggum doll, I may have graduated college, but I’d still prefer toys to mostly anything..except cash.

Chestnuts roasted by selvig @ 12/29/2004 11:33 AM


best thing about gift cash? You can buy more toys!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/29/2004 11:53 AM


trajeal – Except his name is J. Peterman

Chestnuts roasted by Diabetic Dinosaur @ 12/29/2004 12:19 PM


Well, sorry for your lack of health Matt. Great gifts though. I swear, that Marshmallow Man has got to be the coolest thing on Earth. Loved the advent callender, except the ending though. Am I the only one who thinks that all Chrismas stories should have happy endings. Not only was it depressing, it was also, in a weird way blasphemous.
Seriously, dude, you gotta bring good Mare back to life.

Chestnuts roasted by Mot @ 12/29/2004 1:17 PM


"trajeal – Except his name is J. Peterman"

Oops. I’m a durhead.

I wanted to add a link to a cool site I visit on a frequent basis: http://www.dumbaby.net. Christopher Walken writes scattered articles, and in case you haven’t noticed, I really like him.

Will January be a year since the first Chia article?

I’m off to shop for travel sized containers. I signed up for My Soldier, and now I’m all pumped up to make up care packages. kingklash, what would your sister say she needs the most, over there in Iraq?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 12/29/2004 1:32 PM


First time poster, long time reader, yadda yadda yadda.

well, I got a big haul this christmas and it was all dvd’s. here is the list:

Spongebob Season 1 dvd set ( from april)

Passion of the Jew (april as well, thanks baby)

SCTV volume 1 and 2

Kids in the Hall 1 and 2

Marx Brothers silver screen collection

Return of the King Extended Edition

Felix the Cat cartoons

The Goonies

Santa Claus versus the Martians

Shaun of the Dead

My other brother is sending me the George Romero dvd collection (zombie movies)

I also got Ren and Stimpy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force as a present from work.

All said, it is about 40 dvd’s worth of stuff. I will be busy for the next little while.

Chestnuts roasted by Benjew @ 12/29/2004 2:31 PM


Trajeal? Hate to do this to you since you already been busted once, but dumbbaby has two "b’s" not one. Link you gave doesn’t work. Funny site though. Thanks for pointing me its way. I hate Joey Gladstone, and now I know why.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 12/29/2004 3:06 PM


Oooo! I’z posty on the site of the gods! Anyhow, best gift this year by far is my Master Chief action figure from Halo 2. Removable hands and 3 gun bliss!
Get well soon man.

Chestnuts roasted by QBM, A.K.A Stroat @ 12/29/2004 3:42 PM


Don’t feel bad, I get sick on holidays so often it’s almost funny.

Chestnuts roasted by radio @ 12/29/2004 4:14 PM


Trajeal, what is My Soldier, and how do you sign up for it? Thanks in advance for the info!

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 12/29/2004 5:20 PM


That’s quite a haul there, Matt. Since I live in a space-challenged apartment and cannot afford superfluous (yet killer) items to make me feel even more claustraphobic, I requested money and only money.

The main reason for this is on account of numerous friends getting married in the spring. So, without that monetary help, I would be strapped with not only gifts, but travel and lodging for those weddings I decide to go to. It’s enough to make me wonder why I’ve made so many freaking friends in my life and why they all have to get married at the same time! To my engaged friends: "Hey kids, you’re 25,… there’s plenty of time for that later!"

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 12/29/2004 5:39 PM


Not that I’m calling your stash superfluous… I just literally have nowhere to put anything in my apartment! In the past Christmases, my mother would get me various odds and ends and I would have to leave them at my parents’ place. She tired of that quickly, so a check is all I see now.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 12/29/2004 5:43 PM


Well, Sis has told us she herself doesn’t need anything because she’s comin’ home in about a month or so, but any kind of powdered drink mixes are very popular among soldiers. (Water being a bit on the chemically-treated side. blorgh.) Snacks like Cheez-its, beef jerky, sugar-free gums and candy, most kinds of snack crackers. They already have a lot of lotions, soaps, shampoos and the like. Check with your local military HQs for a comprehensive list, including what not to send. Batteries for Walkmans and hand-held games are welcome. Since Sis is Quatermaster Corps, she has a good idea whats popular in comfort foods. When Letterman taped his X-mas Eve show Friday, she got to be there. When the network shows the episode, she’ll be off to one side, her and her buddies, sitting on a golf-carty kind of vehicle. She’s one of the oldest in her unit, two years older than me. I won’t know how easy she is to spot til I see the show. Not bad for someone who’s died once already. Go Sis!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash is proud of his Sister @ 12/29/2004 6:39 PM


Sorry to hear about your flu. You know, I’m beginning to think those medieval "doctors" weren’t that far off when they said illnesses were caused by gnomes living inside you. Those nasty sicknesses have to be mystical in some way.

Anyway, nice Christmas haul, and thanks for another year of advents. However, I’m still trying to decipher the Lego pirate hiding in the background of one of the pics on the 25th. There has to be some kind of secret meaning!

Later!

Chestnuts roasted by Lackadaisical @ 12/29/2004 7:13 PM


100th post!

Chestnuts roasted by Randomness @ 12/29/2004 7:18 PM


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