Everything’s updated. The link for the new Advert download is incorrect – I’ll fix that when I get home. It’s almost Christmas – this is probably the first year of my life that I’m actually more into Christmas itself that all the shit leading up to it. I’ve long touted the magnanimous glories of preliminary anticipation, but the combination of having zero time and having so much to do is making me look forward to what Christmas is really all about: a few days off and a fuckload of food. Finally finished shopping for my 10,000 relatives, and I must say, I am Santa Claus Reincarnate. I had no less than a dozen kids ages 1-15 to get gifts for, and through the magic of Amazon clearances and pot luck, it looks like I spent twice as much as I actually did. One of the best finds was for one of my younger nieces – it’s a big ass “Bratz” playset that normally goes for 110 bucks, marked down to 20. I’m living proof that people remember the gifts they got for decades and decades, and I know this particular niece will connect every success and moment of happiness of her life to the day I gave her the god damned stupid Bratz playset. Go me.
There’s a small group of us at work who order sushi for lunch roughly six times a day. In my short time being here, I’ve gotten much braver with what’ll try. (the Advent Calendar’s sushi entry was semi-inspired by this) I started off with California rolls, moved on to the many non-fishy fun rods, ultimately ending up where the party starts: raw fish, and lots of it. Though I’m not really down with the octopus crap and all that kinda junk yet, it’s becoming progressively harder to resist certain “specialty” rolls because the restaurants give ‘em such cool names. I mean, really, a “Godzilla Roll?” How am I supposed to turn down a chance to order food using the word “Godzilla?”
There’s a topical twist to all this: the pile of sushi shown in the lower part of that picture is called a Christmas Roll, a festive special combining rice, seaweed, avocado, caviar and too much raw tuna to create a Christmas-colored mass of something not from this world. I couldn’t really eat the thing (I can deal with the raw crap in small doses, but in fist-sized piles like that, I need hickory smoking), but it’s so pretty to look at. Perhaps I can have it shellacked and mounted on a stand among the many plastic Santas I sleep beside. Roe your boat.
What are you guys doing for Christmas this year?
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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Lest ye wonder why the bitterness, I grew up Catholic…in Boston. You think Michael Jackson’s bad…some of my friends learned firsthand that "spreading God’s love" means something different in Bernard Law’s world.