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The Christmas Sushi Roll!

Everything’s updated. The link for the new Advert download is incorrect – I’ll fix that when I get home. It’s almost Christmas – this is probably the first year of my life that I’m actually more into Christmas itself that all the shit leading up to it. I’ve long touted the magnanimous glories of preliminary anticipation, but the combination of having zero time and having so much to do is making me look forward to what Christmas is really all about: a few days off and a fuckload of food. Finally finished shopping for my 10,000 relatives, and I must say, I am Santa Claus Reincarnate. I had no less than a dozen kids ages 1-15 to get gifts for, and through the magic of Amazon clearances and pot luck, it looks like I spent twice as much as I actually did. One of the best finds was for one of my younger nieces – it’s a big ass “Bratz” playset that normally goes for 110 bucks, marked down to 20. I’m living proof that people remember the gifts they got for decades and decades, and I know this particular niece will connect every success and moment of happiness of her life to the day I gave her the god damned stupid Bratz playset. Go me.

There’s a small group of us at work who order sushi for lunch roughly six times a day. In my short time being here, I’ve gotten much braver with what’ll try. (the Advent Calendar’s sushi entry was semi-inspired by this) I started off with California rolls, moved on to the many non-fishy fun rods, ultimately ending up where the party starts: raw fish, and lots of it. Though I’m not really down with the octopus crap and all that kinda junk yet, it’s becoming progressively harder to resist certain “specialty” rolls because the restaurants give ‘em such cool names. I mean, really, a “Godzilla Roll?” How am I supposed to turn down a chance to order food using the word “Godzilla?”

There’s a topical twist to all this: the pile of sushi shown in the lower part of that picture is called a Christmas Roll, a festive special combining rice, seaweed, avocado, caviar and too much raw tuna to create a Christmas-colored mass of something not from this world. I couldn’t really eat the thing (I can deal with the raw crap in small doses, but in fist-sized piles like that, I need hickory smoking), but it’s so pretty to look at. Perhaps I can have it shellacked and mounted on a stand among the many plastic Santas I sleep beside. Roe your boat.

What are you guys doing for Christmas this year?

Posted by Matt on 12/21/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 169 comments

I havent done any shopping yet due to no time, but thursday is gonna have to be purely shopping day for me. I dont have many people to buy for but i want to buy a lot of different things for them :D Stocking stuffers and some gift cards most likely. maybe some crazy kitchen gadgets for my parents. Sadly I have no kids in the family to buy for so if Im’m gonna buy any toys they will be for myself xD

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 12/21/2004 4:48 PM

Let’s see Home, then to Aunt’s house, then to Sis-in-laws’ folks. Then maybe spend the next day going to OKC and watching the mobs at the stores for returns and bargin battles.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/21/2004 5:26 PM

Now, I just have to wrap my presents. I’ve finished my Xmas shopping.

Sushi is great food, Matt. You should eat it more often. I just had a tray for dinner. My favorites are tuna and salmon. I’ve had both eel and octopus. Eel is okay, but octopus is like chewing on rubber.

Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 12/21/2004 6:17 PM

Random Jim’s random ramblings rule: "I think something landed on my top."

Keep up the great work, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Scott @ 12/21/2004 6:46 PM

Spending Christmas by myself (again) while the boys go to their respective parents houses. But the GOOD news is, I get to spend New Years Eve with my new love! :D

Hang in there Matt, you’ll get the hang of eating squid.

Chestnuts roasted by Cuddles @ 12/21/2004 7:13 PM

Fantastic work as always, but if I could offer one piece of grinchy advice, it would be to reverse the order of the calendars so that the latest update appears at the top rather than the bottom. By Christmas my scroll wheel finger will the size of a HO-HO. Thanks.

Chestnuts roasted by kentdog @ 12/21/2004 7:29 PM

Ok, no offense to anyone here who likes jewelry, but I personally Hate getting jewelry for any kind of gift. I don’t wear it, it’s too expensive to take a chance on losing, so to me, jewelry is a waste of money. If I were you, Erik, I would totally spoil my pregnant wife by buying her things to make her comfy. One of those long body pillows are great (when you’re pregnant, sleeping w/ a pillow between your knees helps your backache). Or, maybe set her up w/ an appt. to get a manicure or a facial. A lot of times, people forget that a pregnant woman is still a woman, and only ask about her in a baby sense. She might want to feel pretty for a day, like a woman and not just a mother. You could make her up some coupons on the computer for "Free Footrubs" and "Good for One Load of Washed Dishes" and sign them all from you. When she’s tired or having a bad day, she could cash in one of her coupons and you could take over one a job or help her to relax.

BTW, what’s your mom’s name? Your grandmother’s name? Your wife’s maiden name? You could use any of those for the baby’s middle name. I’ll be watching for your post tomorrow to see if you could see a "hotdog bun" (girl) or "turtle". :-) Oh, here’s a cool site that shows "real baby" pictures of the baby at different stages of development: http://www.w-cpc.org/fetal1.html and here are some u/s pics: http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/ultrasounds/l/blusindex.htm I esp. like the 3-D ones. Good luck tomorrow!

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 12/21/2004 7:42 PM

Kind of obvious, but that’s supposed to read: "hotdog bun" (girl) or "turtle" (boy). Duh.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 12/21/2004 7:44 PM

well, for a start, NOT ordering sushi even if it’s a MegMan Prawn Pet…well, in that case even me would fail to an easy instruction of NOT ordering…

then lunch with family and at night some movie with my lady who’s going back home for holidays so we’ll be away for some days…
guys, i need love…i need Kuse!
Actually, I love Kuse!

Chestnuts roasted by melonian @ 12/21/2004 8:31 PM

If everything goes well, I’ll be spending Christmas with my parents, siblings, and my younger sister’s new son. We open presents Christmas morning, eat Dad’s artery-clogging brunch afterwards, then go out to one of the nicer Cape May restaraunts (and one of the only ones open at this time of year) for dinner. (And no, NOT Chinese Turkey.) Dad will probably want to look at light displays again after dinner.

And I, too, will be checking the Advent Calender daily for updates, even when I’m at the parents’ house. It’s just getting more and more twisted. There’s fighting in Good land, MegaMare is indulging in her artsy side, and Waiterbot has a new body and a new…friend.

And then, there’s that little surprise awaiting the last present, and Claire in the background, ready to pounce…

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/21/2004 8:58 PM

Sadly Ill prolly be working on Christmas day :( …but when I get off I get to eat lots and lots of food with my hubbys family!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 12/21/2004 9:05 PM

I’ll be visiting my dad and stepmom…then my mom and stepdad…then my bf’s parents and sibilings and nieces. So yeah, Matt, I feel your pain when it comes to buying craploads of presents for family(or soon-to-be family). And that Christmas sushi looks tasty…mmmmmm.

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 12/21/2004 9:23 PM

Waiterbot: "Follow me."

"Where once was light, now darkness fools…" – Gollum’s Song, Lotr: TT credits

Chestnuts roasted by springsprite @ 12/21/2004 9:48 PM

Hey Matt. You said you’re not down with octopus yet? You really need to see this 2003 Korean film called "Oldboy". In it, the main character consumes a REAL LIVE octopus in about three bites. I really hope someones seen the movie on this board so they know how cool the scene and the whole movie is.

Chestnuts roasted by John C. @ 12/21/2004 9:51 PM

I’m going visiting with my mom and going to see my great-aunts. While my dad stays at home and watches the Raiders/Chiefs game yeah he’s a member of the raider nation.

Chestnuts roasted by pikiachulover @ 12/21/2004 9:54 PM

I’ve been craving sushi like mad (ever since the sushi entry, now that I think about it, duh) so I stopped at Trader J’s and picked up some Cali rolls as a treat for finishing my shopping. (There’s a cool http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food">LJ community dedicated to posting pics of food, and there’s always http://www.livejournal.com/community/picturing_food/924735.html">yummy sushi pics)
I took Xmas eve off (had to ask months ago) so I’m looking forward to a long weekend. Hoping to go to the aunt’s on Eve for tamales. My big present this year was the new car I’ve been driving for a month, so after Santa comes I’ll be watching the fam with their gifts and sending presents along to extended family for their enjoyment. Our local KB’s liquidated, so I was able to get all the kids on my list pretty nice presents, though I’d say it only looks like I spent about 20% more than I really did. Picking presents was my biggest (non XE) Christmas kick this year, my only regret is I probably won’t get to see many of them opened because of my hard partying, jet-set lifestyle.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/21/2004 10:38 PM

John C., I haven’t seen that movie, but I have seen an episode of Nat Geo’s Taboo where a bunch of Korean students eat live octopi. They squeeze all the water out of them to sap their strength, then they wrap them tightly around chopsticks and chow down. They chew and chew and chew, and the little tentacles are poking out of their mouths…freaking awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/21/2004 10:41 PM

;)

Chestnuts roasted by Minka @ 12/21/2004 10:54 PM

As long as we’re talking about live dishes, I just thought I’d mention concha fina, a shellfish that’s a delicacy in Spain. Just squirt some lemon juice on it, and when it starts wriggling, pour it down your throat.

Chestnuts roasted by TB Tabby @ 12/21/2004 10:59 PM

I want confirmation that what Tabby said isn’t a goof.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/21/2004 11:00 PM

http://www.student.city.ac.uk/~rc313/weirdfood.html">Confirmation! Scroll about halfway down, it says the exact same thing as Tabby! http://www.proz.com/?sp=h&id=88877">Here’s another mention. And http://www.mid-day.com/smd/eat/2003/june/57293.htm">another! Still looking for a pic…

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/21/2004 11:10 PM

Finally, a break from college and time to relax. Christmas wise, I’m probable stay home, opening present, not mention having relative over, but the lastet advent adventure is getting more and more interesting. I would never thought (spoiler) that waiterbot had a working time machine and there some story with that dog. WOW :-0

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 12/21/2004 11:17 PM

Okay, I’m not a sushi person, but what Tabby is talking about is, to me, is just plain disguist.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 12/21/2004 11:19 PM

Couldn’t find any photos of the concha things, but I did find http://www.koreus.com/files/200408/lego_thriller.html">this. It’s Michael Jackson’s Thriller, stop-motion animated with Lego figs. It’s the whole shebang, with the werewolf intro and everything. You gotta see it.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/22/2004 12:10 PM

Ahh yes, sushi. A chance to get a bunch of stupid laughs from drunk people by calling octopus "tako supreme" and saba "holy mackerel".

As for Christmas, I’ll be spending it the same way I do every year. Working as a form of protest against the theocracy. I’ll be damned if Jesusland will deny me the right to make a living.

(until I get a job with full holiday pay, in which case I’ll toast the 2,000-year-old dead fucker.)

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 12/22/2004 7:38 AM

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