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12/21/2004: The Christmas Sushi Roll!

Everything’s updated. The link for the new Advert download is incorrect – I’ll fix that when I get home. It’s almost Christmas – this is probably the first year of my life that I’m actually more into Christmas itself that all the shit leading up to it. I’ve long touted the magnanimous glories of preliminary anticipation, but the combination of having zero time and having so much to do is making me look forward to what Christmas is really all about: a few days off and a fuckload of food. Finally finished shopping for my 10,000 relatives, and I must say, I am Santa Claus Reincarnate. I had no less than a dozen kids ages 1-15 to get gifts for, and through the magic of Amazon clearances and pot luck, it looks like I spent twice as much as I actually did. One of the best finds was for one of my younger nieces – it’s a big ass “Bratz” playset that normally goes for 110 bucks, marked down to 20. I’m living proof that people remember the gifts they got for decades and decades, and I know this particular niece will connect every success and moment of happiness of her life to the day I gave her the god damned stupid Bratz playset. Go me.

There’s a small group of us at work who order sushi for lunch roughly six times a day. In my short time being here, I’ve gotten much braver with what’ll try. (the Advent Calendar’s sushi entry was semi-inspired by this) I started off with California rolls, moved on to the many non-fishy fun rods, ultimately ending up where the party starts: raw fish, and lots of it. Though I’m not really down with the octopus crap and all that kinda junk yet, it’s becoming progressively harder to resist certain “specialty” rolls because the restaurants give ‘em such cool names. I mean, really, a “Godzilla Roll?” How am I supposed to turn down a chance to order food using the word “Godzilla?”

There’s a topical twist to all this: the pile of sushi shown in the lower part of that picture is called a Christmas Roll, a festive special combining rice, seaweed, avocado, caviar and too much raw tuna to create a Christmas-colored mass of something not from this world. I couldn’t really eat the thing (I can deal with the raw crap in small doses, but in fist-sized piles like that, I need hickory smoking), but it’s so pretty to look at. Perhaps I can have it shellacked and mounted on a stand among the many plastic Santas I sleep beside. Roe your boat.

What are you guys doing for Christmas this year?


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 169 comments

Hello everyone!

Welcome to the family again Jabo!
Those odds still sound good trajeal!
Details, details Jillybeann, we really want to know how big the rock is!

What did I get for Christmas? Well, since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell ya.

A new slimmed down verison of the PS2 (I feel bad as now I have three PS2s while my cousin still tinkers with his original and can’t get a new one due to not being able to find one)
GTA: San Andreas (PS2)
Smackdown vs Raw (PS2)
Shrek 2 (PS2)
An Eyetoy (Why is it everytime a camera is on me I act like a total idiot?)
A Princess Bride book (with a heartwarming inscription by my wife, love ya babe!)
A Houston Texans nightlight
A Football remote control for the T.V. (I have the best in-laws!)
And a baby to be named later. :) (still hoping for that boy ya know?)

On that topic I present to you yet another reason (Reason 6,292) I need a boy:

I was in pink hell for Christmas. Not the pink hell you get by going down the girl toy aisles at stores, I mean right in my own living room. Other than my oldest getting a Cheetor Transformer (this due to her loving Cheetahs and my miserable attempt at trying to reform her a bit) and the younger one getting a Bratz doll (which I can’t stand to look at with those huge Angelina Jolie lips), everything they got was Barbie. EVERYTHING! Literally, Barbie all around: Princess and the Pauper Serafina talking cat, Princess and the Pauper microphone, Princess and the Pauper Castle, not one but two Princess and the Pauper Barbie horse drawn carriages, Princess and the Pauper Wedding Set, Princess and the Pauper Erika w/King Dominick, Princess and the Pauper Annelise w/Julian, Princess and the Pauper dress up clothes, Princess and the Pauper microphone (super annoying), Barbie Fun and Sun Power Wheels Jeep. Barbie Mermaid dolls (3), Rock and Roll Barbie, etc…

Funny thing is with all of this mounting debt, er I mean great gifts they received, my oldest was only upset that she ran over her Kinder Chocolate Santa while trying to drive the Barbie Car.

Reminds me of when I was 11 and running a real truck through my garage.

Good times, good times.

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

P.S. Oh Matt, the Advent Calendar ending was great, sorry if I didn’t heap enough praise your way this Christmas season.

Ghosted by EMajorwitz @ 12/27/2004 4:39 AM EST

I was laughing for a good 15 minutes at your poor cat’s misfortune. So sad.

Ghosted by ShadowWing is a name thief! @ 12/27/2004 5:23 AM EST

Erik, you certainly need to reform your stepdaughters. I have the three girls, and for Xmas they recieved: 2 Zip Zaps RC cars (Spiderman and Incredible Hulk) w/ track (which they are playing w/ right now), Shrek 2 and Mario Party 6 for the GC, books for homeschool (you still have to be practical, even if it is Xmas), a dragon and knight Little People playset (for the smallest Mini TraJ), a 3 concert Raffi DVD (big hit), tons of arts and crafts stuff, two big piles of books, and I Spy and Pinball for the PC. Although, they did get a Care Bears playset (there is a specific rule in our house that NO stuffed animals pass through the door. They are never played w/ and they take up tons of room, so they are a waste of money. If one is bought, it stays at the respective relative’s house to take up their room) and some Polly Pockets. I also specified – NO BRATZ DOLLS. They look like hookers and I don’t want my kids thinking that dressing like that is ok. MIL bought my niece one and she was so excited until Mini Traj #1 told her the story of how Bratz dolls want to kiss boys, so they’re icky. Niece promptly dropped it and they ran off to play hide and seek. Not being exposed to kids in the school system probably helps, even though Mini Traj #1 is six and technically in First Grade, so most of her friends go to school. Wanting to have what other kids have makes a big impact on gift giving.

Kerplunk! Off my soapbox now.

I’m curious as to what Matt has gotten from the Large, Red Elf.

Oh, who has today off? Mr. Traj had to work, but all of his vendors have the day off, so he’s going to be twiddling his thumbs all day. He did ask for and get Friday off, so that was nice.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 12/27/2004 9:15 AM EST

Matt, never expected that ending as it truly was hilarious! Good stuff!

Ghosted by J-Dog @ 12/27/2004 9:39 AM EST

Ah, leave us with a cliff-hanger, had my insides all squirmy :)

Ghosted by Briana @ 12/27/2004 9:54 AM EST

Happy Holidays, all! Back from skiing and drinking- what a great Xmas! The folks still managed to spoil me even though they had to mail all my gifts to Korea to do it. Got killer DVDs including ‘Shrek 2′, ‘Harry Potter 3′, the ‘Care Bears movie’, the ‘Star Wars’ trilogy, and ‘LITTLE MONSTERS’ starring Fred Savage. Also, the ‘Lion King’ triolgy from my boyfriend and both ‘A Christmas Story’ and ‘MUPPET FAMILY XMAS’ on DVD!! Next Xmas will be even better now that those are in the collection!

Thanks to Matt and all the other XE crew for keeping the site and the blog a very merry place to be. I’m so glad I stumbled here 2 years ago. :)

This year’s Advent was amazing.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 12/27/2004 10:04 AM EST

To someone’s comment above- why would an atheist celebrate the birth of Christ? Isn’t that what Christmas is? (see Linus)

OK 2 more questions- matt, whatd you get for Christmas?
And what’s the cat’s name?

I think Mista Snowman shoulda made an appearance

Ghosted by ANdrew @ 12/27/2004 11:10 AM EST

Good morning to you ladies and gents, cats and kittens, boys and girls, and the rest of you! Sounds like most of you had all kinds of happy. Three cheers for the jillybeann! Hooray! Shibby! Zabagabee! I got the usual groan-up gifts, gloves shirt, etc., but the two best ones were a Tangram puzzle from Little Brother and his Wife, it has a book of thousands of shape to replicate, and from Oldest Sister, a TV Guide reference book of every show that was ever on American TV, complete with schedules for every year sin the Golden Age of my secondary god. Give me puzzles, robots, or TV trivia, and I’ll be your loyal vassal for life.
Great ending for the Advent. Right up there with the Harlem Globetrotters short on TV Funhouse. Shouldn’t Big Mama MegaMare have gotten a gift? Or was getting out of her box it? F-U-N nonetheless.
Now, the next thing is to get Little Brother a present for his Birthday on the 29th, the big monkey-obsessed lug.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 12/27/2004 12:05 PM EST

Man, Matt must be wasted after this weekend…. would be nice to read a new article though…..
Come on Matt, i know you can do it! Give us a big ass article about all the crap you got, we have already told you what we all got. :)

Ghosted by KillaHill @ 12/27/2004 2:10 PM EST

Part of my gift was that my whole fam came out to our casa (so that the g/f and I could spend x-mas together) from NY. But in the much more enjoyable material real I scored:
a TiVo, some nightmare b4 xmas swag, ATHF vol 3 dvd, prince of persia 2 for GC, the Clone Wars Yoda Maquette from Gentle Giant, America the Book, Nirvana box set…not a bad year for me.

Ghosted by oldschool @ 12/28/2004 12:39 PM EST

I’ve been reading x-entertainment for the last few years and the articles you write are down right hilarious and bring back many a good memory.

Where the heck do you get all those old school 80’s commercials?

Where do you work at? Do you get to write for work? Would you do some writing for cash on the side?

Keep up the good work!

Regards,
Blade2XS

Ghosted by Blade2XS @ 12/29/2004 4:18 PM EST

I got a DVD burner so that in combination with my capture card, I’m making the worst collection of DVDs ever. Dumbo’s Circus, Under the Umbrella Tree, Are You Afraid of the Dark, The Chipmunk Adventure, My Little Pony the Movie, Care Bears in Wonderland… it just goes on and on really.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 01/02/2005 7:18 AM EST

Mystie, sounds intriguing. You know that there’s a new Care Bears movie in CGI? From the thirty seconds I saw of it, I can safely say that my dreams are less bizarre than this.

Oh yeah, I got Star Ocean 3.

Ghosted by Yamamanama @ 01/09/2005 3:33 PM EST

I love buying Christmas presents for my family when I have the cash, but now and then I end up picking up a gift that is somewhat inappropriate.
This year I bought Princess Mononoke on DVD under the assurance that it was suitable for preteens. Only found out about the animated decapitations AFTER I gave it to my three little cousins. What a fiasco.

Ghosted by PippinZ @ 01/10/2005 9:35 AM EST

I watched MST3k’s "Track of the Moonbeast" about 20 times in a row and drank a bottle of port wine

Ghosted by bunnymud @ 01/10/2005 5:41 PM EST

This Christmas I spent my time avoiding the subject of school and devising cunning plans to postpone the unveiling of my most recent and stunning work: "Dear mom and dad I failed college but in the third semester rather than the first thereby paying for three complete semesters for nothing plus I don’t have a job right now and I know you got me a 1337 computer for my birthday tomorrow thinking I’ll need it for school whoa are you ever going to be furious". It’s a long title and you need to take two breathes in between but it’s appropriate.

Ghosted by Dave @ 01/11/2005 11:57 AM EST

BTW 1337 is nerd slang for elite.

Interesting historical fact: before 1337 there was L33T but I guess people decided spelling with numbers is cool and that a 1 could substitute as a lower cas "l" and if you used your imgination the number 7 could be a capital "T"…sort of. Oh and using 3 like a backwards "E" was damn clever.

Ghosted by Dave @ 01/11/2005 12:05 PM EST

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