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Christmas Junk: Favor Treats!

The Advent Calendar has been updated, though I ran out of time before getting the latest Advert up, so expect two of those tonight. Maybe. Meanwhile, checkee be dis:

Ten Christmas Favor Treats! Found this one at our nearest party store on the hunt for cheap gift boxes, amidst a rack of such other classic stocking stuffers as holographic snowman stickers and “Doodolph,” a plastic reindeer who shits out brown jelly beans. You’ll probably see both on here at some point during the next week. The Favor Treats consist of small, crappy toys (think 5-pointers at a casino arcade) that aren’t worth jack to anyone singularily, but become so fascinating and beautiful when packed by the bunch and stuffed into little plastic-wrapped “poppers.” At four bucks for ten “treats,” it’s an arguably inexpensive way to deliver happy fun times to the smallest nooks and crannies of whatever stockings you must fill. The version shown above is for boys, but don’t cry, fairer sex: there’s a girl version too, filled with pink whistles and shiny hairclips. Here’s what us strapping males get…

Each magical tube (wrapped in festive plastic with red twisties on each end) is filled with at one or more toys, and the assortment is nothing short of what-the-fuck. Tiny toy trucks, lime space aliens, kaleidoscopes, and a nice lot of well-detailed rubber animals, like spiders, snakes and my personal favorite: FROGS. The frogs in particular are like-life, so much so that I’m still not entirely sure I haven’t been blessed with real frogs real cheap that just don’t move around that much.

GRADE: 8 Maids A Milking.

Posted by Matt on 12/16/2004. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 46 comments

I don’t know how this turned into a Turtle discussion, but if God cares at all about Ninja Turtles, Venus will never be seen again!

http://www.ninjaturtles.com

The official Turtles homepage. You can read up on their entire history, and the very first issue is online in its entirety. You can see the origins of Shredder, the Utrom, April, the Fugitoid, and your other favorites.

And go good Mare and the…as a mild Star Wars fan, I can’t believe I’m rooting for Stormtroopers! R2 and 3PO I could believe.

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Reindeer @ 12/16/2004 6:09 PM

the kitty has its own plot, I think.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/16/2004 6:50 PM

First of all, I LIKE the Holiday Spice (at least I hope I do – I’ve certainly drank enough of it since it’s been on sale at work for weeks). It tastes like Pepsi with a cinnamon stick. Nothing harmful.

Glad to see a new player in the Playmobil saga could be giving Waiterbot a new outlook. This reminds me of the stories my sisters and I used to come up with when I was a kid and would put together every toy we owned, from "Star Wars" action figures to stuffed animals that could probably sit on them. It’s far more twisted then anything we ever came up with, though.

Ah, yes, the "stocking stuffers" bring back memories. Not that we ever got stuff like that in our stockings, but up until my mid-teens, that was the only shit I could ever manage to win at the Arcades. Even now, I have that kind of stuff in various crevices and drawers in my apartment, or have given it to my brother, or have it in crevices to eventually give to my brother.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/16/2004 8:23 PM

Thanks for Holiday music and some stuff to read while I put in over time baby sitting computers…

Chestnuts roasted by LordSorrow @ 12/16/2004 8:38 PM

Umm…well…there are three people that i shall hate with a passion this Christmas. Here they are in a ranking order:
3. Penny Marshall
2. Claire Winningham
1. Rosie O’Donnell (whom I have always hated, annd will continue to hate after this Christmas)

Thanks a lot, Matt! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/16/2004 9:54 PM

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeee! Well, actually, it’s almost over- less than 1 hour to go. :( I’m 26- man, I’m on the downslope towards 30. :( :( :(

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 12/16/2004 11:20 PM

It looks like you stole from the toy bucket at the dentist.

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 12/16/2004 11:41 PM

While Christmas shopping tonight I found the BEST store ever at the mall… a second-hand Christmas-land where all the tacky ornaments and yard decorations of yore are recycled into a feast of bad yuletide taste. I could see this as a booth at a flea market but at the mall… well, it was just puzzling.

How bad were the second-hand items? One ornament I immediately recognized as the freebie metal tree stuck to the December issue of Reader’s Digest cicrca 1987.

Chestnuts roasted by Law Girl @ 12/17/2004 12:46 PM

Krang did appear in the new series in a cameo. The Utroms had to pile out of their robot-bodies for some reason I can’t recall and one of them says in a somewhat fammiliar voice: "Ohhh… I HATE walking on my tentacles!", then the Utrom in front of him turns around and says "Shut up Krang!"

Even though the new cartoon is truer to the comic, and more melodramatic than anything I’d watch as a kid, I say it’s sillier than shit…
Examples: Splinter learned martial arts when he was just an ordinary rat and some plotlines look like they solely existed to sell toys…

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 12/17/2004 1:16 AM

RewolfJ- Whoever said that the original comic wasn’t silly? As intended for adults as it was, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird still intended it as purely a joke. They had no idea it was even going to make it this far.

As for Splinter learning martial arts as a rat, that’s totally true to the comic. Like I said, the comic WAS silly. It’s not just this particular series.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/17/2004 1:29 AM

Plotlines in TMNT usually exist to sell toys… :) And Splinter learned Martial arts as a rat in the TMNT movie, too.

And that’s Awesome about the Krang cameo! Nice touch for us old-timers.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/17/2004 1:30 AM

I got the cat version of Doodolph for Halloween. The cat has a look of relieved ecstasy on his face. So. Funny.

Chestnuts roasted by heidi @ 12/17/2004 1:48 AM

Mare and Team Good look like they’re headed toward victory, but we shouldn’t count all their chickens before they hatch. After all, Mare and the gang still have a job to do, and it ain’t over till it’s over. So stay tuned for the next X-E Advent Calendar 2004!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/17/2004 5:33 AM

Mmm, TMNT toys. The new ones are a’right. I prefer the old school, but you know, multi-arm glow in the dark swords Shredder can simply not be "un-cool". Word. Most of the line is pretty tight, mostly because I bought and continue to buy them ALL. Ugh.

Dude, most of those cheap plastic toys look as if they are getting way too friendly with one another.

!!

Chestnuts roasted by big lounging @ 12/17/2004 8:22 AM

Matt-when you click the advent calendar hyperlink at the top of the blog, it takes you back to the homepage. Just letting you know.
I haven’t seen any of the new TMNT shows, I’ll have to check them out.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 12/17/2004 9:42 AM

I loved the old skool TMNT cartoon, but this one is good, too. I’m glad they’re still on tv! It’s nice to see some cartoon characters you know and love, not like Yu-Gi-Oh and all that shit. Although, the old skool cartoon had a much more kick-ass theme song at the beginning! I’m pretty jealous Matt may be getting that box set.

I hope that after Kitty eats that super cat food, Matt uses an old Battle Cat action figure for the ‘after’ effect. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 12/17/2004 10:20 AM

another vote for the Pepsi Holiday Spice. its kind of different. i wish they made diet holiday spice.

so i was coveting my own Playmobil advent calandar, and ordered one. it arrived the other day and i almost cried. you have to put the thing together yourself! so its kind of a let down if you are expecting surprise. but then i realized that i’m a grownup. which almost made me cry again. :P

anyway, i’m very curious to know what Matt’s going to do with the rest of it.

Chestnuts roasted by v00deux @ 12/17/2004 10:37 AM

I don’t dislike Pepsi Holiday Spice. I have never been a big fan of Pepsi so that could be the reason.

Every episode of the new Turtles I have watched I love. I was wondering when they were going to do the show more like the Comics. The original comics were quite dark and the ol’ skool episodes (which I also loved)just seemed so happy compaired to the darkness of the comics.

The movie (first one) was as close to the comics in atmosphere as they could get.

The Utroms at least in the comics were the ones responsible for the pouring of mutagen in the sewers that caused the turtles to mutate. It was just a car accident or similar thing that caused a canister to spill.

That could have all changed mind you 8-).

Matt I really like your website. It has given me hours of entertainment at work.

I would have to disagree with IcyHotStunta because I believe the best article was when your reviewed the bad guys of Super Mario Bros. The stuff about the red koopa troopa was some of your best work Matt.

The kitty has its own plan. My guess is wait until Einstein feeds it super food. It will grow up to Shere Khan and go kill everybody. Because everybody knows Shere Khan is the shit

Chestnuts roasted by Merlinmk @ 12/17/2004 1:50 PM

this is like kool i guess

Chestnuts roasted by harry hunt (say really fast) @ 12/18/2004 9:22 PM

LOVE this web site! Tons of hours at work have been wasted by me here. Thanks!
The new TMNT toon is GREAT! Love the little "nods" they give to grown-ups. Was watching one earlier episode with the Utroms in their suits, and they were talking about how they had to go shower because one touched one of the "aliens". One of them asked, "Who touched one?" The other Utrom said, "Newman…" Good nod to Seinfield.
Also, when the Turtles got abducted by the Triceratons (a whole clan, not just one guy now), they stole their weapons so they had to use stuff they found. Ralph used spoons and used the Tick’s battlecry of "SPOON!" as he was attacking!
*sigh* Good times…good times…

Chestnuts roasted by Flibbity Jibbid @ 12/20/2004 12:18 PM

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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 16th, 2004 at 11:22 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.