The Advent Calendar has been updated, though I ran out of time before getting the latest Advert up, so expect two of those tonight. Maybe. Meanwhile, checkee be dis:
Ten Christmas Favor Treats! Found this one at our nearest party store on the hunt for cheap gift boxes, amidst a rack of such other classic stocking stuffers as holographic snowman stickers and “Doodolph,” a plastic reindeer who shits out brown jelly beans. You’ll probably see both on here at some point during the next week. The Favor Treats consist of small, crappy toys (think 5-pointers at a casino arcade) that aren’t worth jack to anyone singularily, but become so fascinating and beautiful when packed by the bunch and stuffed into little plastic-wrapped “poppers.” At four bucks for ten “treats,” it’s an arguably inexpensive way to deliver happy fun times to the smallest nooks and crannies of whatever stockings you must fill. The version shown above is for boys, but don’t cry, fairer sex: there’s a girl version too, filled with pink whistles and shiny hairclips. Here’s what us strapping males get…
Each magical tube (wrapped in festive plastic with red twisties on each end) is filled with at one or more toys, and the assortment is nothing short of what-the-fuck. Tiny toy trucks, lime space aliens, kaleidoscopes, and a nice lot of well-detailed rubber animals, like spiders, snakes and my personal favorite: FROGS. The frogs in particular are like-life, so much so that I’m still not entirely sure I haven’t been blessed with real frogs real cheap that just don’t move around that much.
GRADE: 8 Maids A Milking.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
I’m 26- man, I’m on the downslope towards 30. 
So many little plastic toys, talk about your choking hazards.