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12/04/2004: Christmas Coke & Various Updates…

The Advent and Advert Calendars have been updated, with pictures of a dead dogs and Kentucky Fried Chicken, respectively.

Your personal Christmas season isn’t validated until you find a six-pack of Coca Cola in glass bottles, so keep an eye out — they’re in stores now. I kinda prefer the plain green bottles to these newer versions with Santa wrappers, but so long as there’s a chance of breaking teeth on the first sip, they’re close enough. I don’t drink regular soda anymore, but in past years, Coke from glass bottles was the –only– thing I’d drink during my family’s Christmas Eve celebration. By 10 PM, I’d be pissing purple.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Discussion Thread: 51 comments

Why no comments yet? Can’t you see this is an awesome web site?

Ghosted by dgfgdg @ 12/04/2004 10:18 AM EST

I swore off soda years ago, but I still like having Coke around the house when I go home for Christmas because of the tradition of it.

Sidenote: It seems like Pepsi is pouring a ton of cash into the whole Holiday Spice thing. I wonder what the sales of Coke vs Pepsi are this time of year?

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 12/04/2004 10:22 AM EST

Well, there definitely seems to be more of a buzz and awareness around Pepsi Spice than their last newbie, Pitch Black. I’ve heard completely nontypical people chatting about it. I think it’s serving its purpose.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/04/2004 10:27 AM EST

Matt – what digicam do you use to take pictures? They come out so clear.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 12/04/2004 10:30 AM EST

My digi cam is pretty low end, actually — what you guys don’t know is that I have to take many of these pictures 15-20 times to get them right. This explains why the ones where I’m out and about are less clear. I want a new one.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/04/2004 10:31 AM EST

Hey, my earliest post ever.
Just catching up on the calenders. It is really Christmas now.
I wish I had something interesting to say……Oh, did anyone notice that Scrooge’s maid in the KFC ad is Bunny McDougal (Trey’s mom) from SEX AND THE CITY? Apparently, that’s where she got her fortune from.

Ghosted by manimal789 @ 12/04/2004 11:02 AM EST

Those Hess elves are CUTE.
That Sprite Santa is riding a white horse like it’s a tampon commercial.
That Australian guy? He’s got nothing to do with batteries. And yet the kids seem HAPPY that it’s him instead of Santa.
That Scrooge is cool until he stops saying "What a deal." Then they both go overboard in expressing disappointment, and it turns really depressing. "I knew there had to be a catch. Why can’t anything go my way? When is it my turn? When is it SCROOGE’S turn?"

Ghosted by Deathfrogurt (w/new blog) @ 12/04/2004 11:17 AM EST

Burger King Corporation Offers ‘Reward’ For Missing SpongeBob SquarePants Inflatables

http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/12-02-2004/0002561439&EDATE=

Ghosted by Luap @ 12/04/2004 1:28 PM EST

Dear X-E,

I am a faithful reader with lots of xe experience and I noticed every year around December you refer to it as the "Christmas season" well I have something to say about this I am a festive young man and I have a request for the fair nature of this season. Can you now refer to this so-called "Christmas season" to the Holiday season because as we may know Christmas isn’t the only holiday there’s also Hannnaka, Kwanzzua, Festivus, and many Middle Eastern holidays. I don’t mean to be durative, but it would show a little fairness if you would please refer to this wonderful season to X-E’s Holiday Season 2004. -Thanks

Yours Truly
Carson Manning

Ghosted by Carson Manning @ 12/04/2004 2:05 PM EST

Don’t forget Decemberwe’en!

Ghosted by kingklash @ 12/04/2004 2:13 PM EST

My brother and I LOVE the Pepsi Spice and am actually kind of sad its only around for Christmas. Although I did spot some Pitch Black at Toys R Us a couple weeks back.

I love the Sprite commercial.

Ghosted by JLAAJRC @ 12/04/2004 2:14 PM EST

Dear Carson Manning,

While I’m an avid Festivus practitioner, I don’t find offense in the use of the word Christmas. Besides this is a private website and Matt can call it whatever the Hell he wants, he could call it the "X-E’s Anti-Satan Yet Still Dreaming About Fucking Your Grandmother In The Ass With A Candy Cane Season" if he wanted to.
I repeat for all, this is should be a site where we come to find political correction. Sorry Carson, this isn’t a personal attack on you, buddy. Just had to let my feelings be heard like you did.
Now that, that is out of my system. Good job on the Advent Calender Matt. I can’t wait for Kuse to start killing everybody.

Ghosted by Don't Touch, Willy. @ 12/04/2004 2:21 PM EST

manimal, thanks for pointing that out, I didn’t notice. "What a deal!" Maybe Scrooge earned his millions by being thrifty.
The Santa-riffic bottles do look a little odd. Not as warm fuzzy inspiring as the old school green ones.
Your Christmas trads sound fun. I’ve got a big family, but we’re not very organized and don’t necessarily like each other all that much, so we don’t really get together anymore for Jesus’s birthday bash.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 12/04/2004 2:35 PM EST

Christmas vs. Holiday – does it matter? What the season’s really about is a celebration of commercialism and all things bright and shiny. Christmas is king of commercialism, maybe the other celebrations will one day catch up… like on the day they form a holiday cartel and place a collective bid on the right to license Santa Claus.

Ghosted by Law Girl @ 12/04/2004 3:27 PM EST

You may not believe me…but my family is actually thinking of celebrating Festivus this year…we already have the Festivus Pole my dad bought the year the episode premired. o_0

And if (godforbid) PC does indeed take over our cuurently-independant minds, I would make Christmas into Decemberween…because doesn’t Decemberween sound better than Christmas? It IS 55 days after Halloween, you know.

..but until then, I am an avid rebel of PC…and not the computer kind, either.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 12/04/2004 5:23 PM EST

Hmm…An awful lot of fuss about Coke in glass bottles…

I come from Nova Scotia, Canada and over here Coca-Cola in glass bottles are available year round…

We lucky Canucks…

Ghosted by Alexandre Poirier @ 12/04/2004 6:56 PM EST

Coke in ice-cold glass bottles rules, we can’t get any major soft drinks in glass anymore here in upstate NY. And that Energizer commerical ***kicked ass***. Probably a byproduct of that Australian culture fad that was huge in America around 1987, with Crocodile Dundee and all (and documented in an old episode of The Simpsons)

Ghosted by Destro @ 12/04/2004 7:27 PM EST

Carson Manning- Please don’t take offense from what I’m going to say, but use it as a reference for the future. If you’re going to use the names of holidays in a debate, perhaps you should be certain of how to spell them first (i.e. Hanukkah, not Hannnaka, and Kwanzaa, not Kwanzzua). By spelling these names incorrectly, you just display ignorance, and therefore give your "opponent" the advantage.

Ghosted by 1drland @ 12/04/2004 8:08 PM EST

Actually, I used to know the insides of our local KFC pretty well during the Christmas season, as my poor, frazzled mother often took us out to eat during December. I still swear by their cole slaw.

And Christmas, Hannukah, Kwaanza, who cares? Do what I do – celebrate them all in some way. Make potato latkas, decorate a tree, and light candles. A holiday is a holiday, and they’re all for celebrating and memories, no matter what the traditions are.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 12/04/2004 8:55 PM EST

Has anyone else seen the vast plethora of A Christmas Story merch that Suncoast stores are selling this year? I saw a 20 inch replica of the Major Award. I thought of Matt. it wa s neat.

Ghosted by Whirred @ 12/04/2004 9:17 PM EST

Q: Why doesn’t KFC come with toilet paper?

A: Cuz it’s finger lickin’ good.

JK. I actually love KFC. But still, it’s no match for my grandma’s turkey or ham. Mmmm mmmm.

Ghosted by Nate @ 12/04/2004 9:33 PM EST

I celebrate Hanukkah (the holiday with many different spellings- collect them all!) but I am not offended with talking about Christmas. I wouldn’t mind eating latkes with Santa Claus Coca-Cola…

Ghosted by JG! @ 12/04/2004 10:02 PM EST

Matt, I noticed most Walmarts have all of their digi cams on clearance now. I saw a whole table full of them today. I don’t know if they make it a practice to get rid of their cameras at all Walmarts at this time of year, but if so, maybe you could snag something decent on clearance.

Oh, and BTW – yay, movie quotes!

Ghosted by trajeal @ 12/04/2004 10:06 PM EST

Almost forgot – I love the addition of the Voodoo idol to the mantel. It fits rights up there perfectly. All hail Mare!

Ghosted by trajeal @ 12/04/2004 10:09 PM EST

I don’t get it. When was Coke available in green glass bottles? Was this a Christmas promotion from a past year? I associate "green glass bottles" with Stella Artois beer or ancient botles of 7-Up from back when all soft drinks were sold as six packs of glass 750 ml bottles, as they were before the 1990s. Glass Coke bottles were, and still are here in Canada, always clear and uncoloured as far as I know.

Anyone remember the massive 1.5 L glass bottle Coke had on the market for a while as an alternative to the 2 L plastic bottles before people started filing lawsuits because of the bottles exploding, launching glass shrapnel everywhere?

Ghosted by Steve Brandon @ 12/04/2004 10:13 PM EST

Steve — around these parts they were usually only available during the holidays, but it never felt like a "holiday promotion." They just sort of popped up in late November and disappeared after Christmas. I’ve seen them much more frequently over the past few years, though.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/04/2004 10:45 PM EST

Well, at least in Texas, Coke glass bottles have always had a greenish tint to them.

I’m a Dr Pepper man myself, but I too an occasional Coke for Christmas….

It’s the same way with Lionel trains…it’s not really Christmas without them!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 12/04/2004 11:16 PM EST

11 secret herbs and spices? 1.Salt 2. pepper 3.flour 4. Msg. The kentucky fried went out of bussiness near my house my whole family is gonna miss it. I can get those glass coke bottles at my school as well as glass sprite too bad its still on strike http://www.upi4100.org/neiu/.Oh and Carson Manning have you ever even met anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa or has anyone here who comes to X-E?

Ghosted by Pat @ 12/04/2004 11:26 PM EST

When my parents owned their cafe several years back, they kept glass coke bottles stocked, thought I’m not particularly sure why. Guess it was just one of the cool quirks you expect from a random little local spot to have.

All this PC holiday stuff is crap, excuse the expression. I support people celebrating different holidays, do whatever the hell you want. But forcing people into an "all or nothing" mentality isn’t the way to get your holiday the kind of attention that these people seem to want. We had a gift swap in my dorm the other night, and almost got caught because we put up a little tree for all of two hours for the occasion. Apparently we would have had to put up a menorah and god knows what for Kwanzaa and Ramadan and the list goes on…we were debating challenging the houseing department’s exclusion of something to please the Buddhists. Not to mention a Shinto shrine and voodoo altar (since we’re in N’Awlins). Yeesh. No one has space for all the Christmas decorations, let alone full sets for all of these holidays.

Ghosted by Mara @ 12/05/2004 1:55 AM EST

About the KFC ad….does Matt have any of the old KFC ads where Foghorn Leghorn was the pitchman? Yes, he turned cannibal, like Mr. Potato Head did in the ’90s for Burger King fries. I want to see an FH Leghorn KFC ad…

Ghosted by Mars @ 12/05/2004 2:09 AM EST

Pepsi can spice up their sodas all they want, but nothing beats the Coke Santa!

Decemberween, Decemberween…

…Coach Z’s been drinking Listerine.

Ghosted by Sara @ 12/05/2004 2:25 AM EST

Today’s calendar was awesome!

Ghosted by dgdg @ 12/05/2004 7:50 AM EST

I agree, today’s calendar WAS awesome. Here in Korea, all the Coke is always in nice glass bottles…and it is CHEAP! I am a Pepsi girl myself, and you can buy a 1.5 litre bottle for 88 cents! Pretty cool.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 12/05/2004 8:23 AM EST

I had a bottle of Holiday Spice Pepsi yesterday. Tasted like a bottle of Pepsi had been left open in a frige with a holiday cinnamon and apple candle. Blech…

Ghosted by Joe in OH @ 12/05/2004 8:58 AM EST

Speaking of Hanukkah… you don’t have to be Jewish to enjoy chocolate coins.
I should know

Ghosted by AngeFaitore @ 12/05/2004 9:23 AM EST

I tried Pepsi Holidayu Spice recently too, and I kinda liked it, but it was cold, so that must have made a difference.

It tasted like cold pepsi with an extra ingredient that I couldn’t really put my finger on, but most of you say it was cinnamon, so I guess I’ll go by your word on this one.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 12/05/2004 2:05 PM EST

About two Thanksgivings ago I saw the Coke Holiday Semi Truck, like, the ones they have in the commercial. It was covered in about 3 billion white lights and has a huge Coke Santa on the side. It was something else pulling up next to it on the freeway, basking in the warming glow, and then crashing into a ditch because looking at the thing burned out my retinas.

Ghosted by Shonuf1 - "Merry Christmas, Emporium" @ 12/05/2004 2:21 PM EST

Sounds like Gollum found Santa’s hat. Uh-oh.

Ghosted by trajeal @ 12/05/2004 2:34 PM EST

Sorry no updates on Kinder Eggs recently…

My daughters said basically piss on opening one per day…

Let’s just say there are alot of empty eggs and chocolate smeared all over their faces.

I’ll update mine as they didn’t rape my Advent Calendar.

December 3: Two swinging squirrels connected by their asses.

December 4: A Polar Express Engine

December 5: A Knight

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Ghosted by EMajorwitz @ 12/05/2004 2:39 PM EST

"By 10 PM, I’d be pissing purple."

Odd that you’d mention that…I finally got around to opening my 2-liter bottle of Pepsi Holiday Spice the other night. I was studying in the small hours and found the kitchen fresh out of all caffeinated beverages except the PHS. "Hmm, this’ll work," I thought, as I poured a glass. Five glasses later, and only 1/2" left swirling around in the little starfish feet of the bottle, it was finally time to go to bed. Alas, I could not; I could only feel my heart pounding desperately in my chest, and the soon-to-be-urine sloshing around in my belly. I finally fell asleep, but had the worst dreams ever, and woke up RUNNING to the bathroom.

Demons out!

Ghosted by Emily @ 12/05/2004 3:08 PM EST

Who is the man with tasty lips like a garbage can…..SHAFT–Dig it suckka.

Hey I like pepsi hoilday spice it may taste like same old pepsi with a hint of red in it but its still slammin (do people still use the word slammin) but any way um what yall gettin me for cherrimas

Ghosted by John Shaft @ 12/05/2004 3:33 PM EST

Matt-Were you really stoned when you wrote that caption for the Hickory Farms advertisement? I’m NOT stoned, and I could still go for some grub like that.

Ghosted by Nate @ 12/05/2004 4:27 PM EST

If anyone wants their picture on TomGreen.com, you just need to make a "Hastily (and Crappily)" t-shirt or banner advertising the site, and then have a picture taken of it with you in a public place:
http://tomgreen.com/emailblog/index.html

Ghosted by ME @ 12/05/2004 4:55 PM EST

Had my student loan not just went into repayment, I would go buy ten cases of festive cola post haste.

Ghosted by jjgoreha @ 12/05/2004 5:05 PM EST

One of my tapes of Christmas specials actually has a KFC commercial with the Smothers Brothers singing a corny song:

Kentucky Fried Chicken, they do it right
With buttermilk biscuits so fluffy and light
Light, light, light!

Sadly, my folks cut it off after that point, so it’s not even available in its entirety to submit for Matt’s consideration.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 12/05/2004 7:16 PM EST

I dont think thats the real Mare…I am waiting for the real mare to be reborn from a box, and kill that bitch! Cause we all know Mare would remain evil for ever….Look out Santa your time is coming at the hands of mare

Ghosted by LordSorrow @ 12/05/2004 8:25 PM EST

ME: Ooh, I’m moving to Ottawa in less than two weeks. Maybe I’ll get a couple of pics of myself in a TomGreen.com t-shirt in one of those specific Zellers stores he got himself kicked out of for messing around with the intercom in what I think is about the best Tom Green bit ever: "Tastycorn? Tasty tasty tasty corn?"

Matt: Thanks for the clarification. Guess Coca-Cola just never did the green bottle holiday promotion in Canada, or, if they did, I just never noticed. I’m surprised, if the responses I’m reading in this entry are accurate, Coke still does small (275 mL, I think) glass bottles year round in Canada but not in the United States.

Ghosted by Steve Brandon @ 12/05/2004 9:53 PM EST

Now that you mention it, back when I remember coke bottles having that greenish tint. Wasn’t radioactive green or nothing, just subtle tint of green.

I really hate the whole "politically correct HOLIDAY" thing. I mean who really gets flat out "offended" because it’s called "X-Mas season" I mean, it’s not like X-Mas is still celebrated (widely) on a religious agenda. Its about the presents, Santa CLaus and not getting the Mega Dino Cruiser. I mean, I dont get upity when I watch the Rugrats Chanukah special when I don’t celebrate it. I watch and use it as an opportunity to learn about another culture instead of whine about how something other than what I believe is being represented. Oh and see Tommy and the babies get into another zany adventure! If anything the political correctness drained this season of its spirit. It’s Dec. 5th and it still doesnt feel like christmas is coming. Why? No Flinstones Christmas Crunch commercials on T.V. God bless Matt for making it available here.

Ghosted by James @ 12/05/2004 11:01 PM EST

Steve, I went to school in Ottawa for a year and it was a fun place. Skating on the Rideau Canal is cool and there’s a bar called the Cabin (its full name is longer but I don’t remember it) and it looks like a little log cabin. It’s fun if only for the novelty factor. And I’d agree with you about the Tom Green bit, I have hte video with that segment on it and I laugh my ass off.

Ghosted by Gabbylicious @ 12/05/2004 11:21 PM EST

I hope everyone enjoyed Matt having fun at my expense. How would any of you like to be manhandled by a musclebound blond spikey-haired Australian freak for 72 takes? The guy couldn’t even pronounce "stockings" correctly. I am emotionally scarred for life, and will never again power up giant sized novelty toys the same way again. I hate you. I hate you all.

Ghosted by Giant Energizer Battery @ 12/06/2004 2:21 PM EST

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